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A female owner of male dolls unable to connect with female dolls

May 10, 2015

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    1. Hi forgive me if there is a thread on this topic out on the forum already.

      I'm having a dilemma here. I own mostly male dolls, that includes bjds, string dolls, collectibles, you name it, whereas my friend, who is also female, owns mostly female dolls. I want a more diverse collection, but I'm having trouble gravitating towards the female dolls that are out there. I look through pages and pages of dolls of all sorts (bjd mainly) on DoA, BJDCompanies, BJD Addicts, etc. and I almost always see a male doll I wouldn't mind owning, but not a female doll. There's a few where I go, "Oh she's cute!" And that's as far it goes. I wanted to know if any of you go through this dilemma, and also curious as to why that is.

      Just a side note; a year ago, I bought Bonbon from Sleeping Elf. I really liked her and legitimately wanted her. I purchased her April of 2014 and didn't get her until August of that same year; however a week didn't pass by and I sold her. There was no connection, not even a spark.

      Thanks. :)
       
      #1 Daikini, May 10, 2015
    2. I would like to see the responses on this. I'm glad to see there's someone else out there with this dilemma as I have the same issue. I only prefer male dolls, the females don't interest me. On a side note, I'm a gamer and I have this issue with the characters I create and play, I only play male characters and have no desire to play a female character.
       
      #2 Kimaeril, May 10, 2015
    3. I have no girl dolls either. I haven't found any that I can bond with. I have 13 boys and they are happy together. I am an older owner and have had other female dolls, as I grew up (not BJDs) but I really love my boys. I have one female but she is just here until I can get her to her real owner and I haven't been able to bond with her at all.
       
      #3 SteamWitch, May 10, 2015
    4. It happens, if male only dolls are your preference then that is your preference. There are many female collector's who have male only resin-crews.

      I myself, have mostly boys and males, I am extremely picky about the girls I want. I only have two girls both MSD sized and they are friends. I don't have any plans for anymore girls or older females in my resin family.

      If you are on the look out for a girl who would capture your heart, just keep looking, She's out there somewhere. Don't give up.
      ____________

      On a personal note:

      The main reason why I have mostly males is that I just like looking at good looking attractive men. Buying a male doll is like adding to the fantasy of surrounding yourself with handsome men. my main draw is that I can make them look in anyway I'd want to, in the clothing that I find attractive. It's like having my own little resin harem.
       
      #4 Elysion gear, May 10, 2015
    5. I have almost an all-male resin crew. The two girl dolls I have are YOSD and tiny which I got when I first started this hobby but I don't consider them part of my collection...why? Coz I packed them away and pretend they don't exist. I think it's just a preference thing. I do have characters for girls that I plan to shell one day, but I'm still working on my guys first.

      It's a bit like when I go out looking for clothes...I start off in the girl's section but always end up buying tshirts for boys. Why? Coz I like the designs on boy T-shirts so much more than the tasteless girl's clothes. Does that make sense?
       
      #5 yuan_mdx, May 10, 2015
    6. Out of my 15 I only have three girls. I also had trouble finding girls I liked and find countless boy dolls on the market that I like. I have a theory about why I personally have this problem, not sure if it applies to others but eh here goes.

      I have had dolls all my life and most of them when I was a kid were girls. I always had trouble finding guys that I liked and no trouble at all finding girls. The opposite is true now, I believe, because I have had so many girl dolls over the years and the boys are a novelty. A lot of the girl dolls out there remind me of something I have seen or had in the past (though often far prettier!) but the boys are very different. I have equal numbers of boy and girl characters in my stories I just choose to cast the men more frequently then the women.

      But this is just my personal theory.
       
      #6 Clorista, May 10, 2015
    7. Interesting thought, and something I was also wondering! I also find it much easier to be drawn to male sculpts then female sculpts which I didn't at all expect. I reckon though it's because I feel that there's a wider option of female sculpts to choose from, so I'm much more picky. I really dislike 'settling' for sculpts, especially when they're so expensive. I also have this idea that my girl will be my 'one' girl who'll get absolutely spoiled rotten, so I really want to make sure the girl I get is the one. I do wonder if I'll be able to bond as quickly with her as I've bonded with my boy, Kai though.
       
      #7 jesymphony, May 10, 2015
    8. I am a male doll-keeper, and basically all my dolls have ever been males, except from now that I found the DD world, and man, I think they are so cute!.
      In my opinion, I think this is a very "personal and unique" hobby and we shouldn't be worriying about the gender of our dolls, some people like MSD's some SD'S...It depends on your expectations!
       
      #8 pth_doll, May 10, 2015
    9. Weird question but how are you in real life with other females? Can you relate to other women in real life or you more of a man's woman? I have both kinds of dolls and like both, but I do find myself doing this with other things in my life besides dolls. I can be very girly but I don't gravitate towards my own gender when it comes to making friends much. I find the company of other women kind of annoying sometimes. I grew up around more guys than not. Most guys I know they're pretty straight up, uncomplicated. It's far easier being around them and hanging out with them. My women pals they tend to make me work too much, wear me out a bit mentally. If you don't relate well to other women in real life I could see how it might translate in terms of dolls. I like female dolls a lot. Real females? Few and far between, I must admit...
       
      #9 magkelly, May 10, 2015
    10. On a personal note:

      The main reason why I have mostly males is that I just like looking at good looking attractive men. Buying a male doll is like adding to the fantasy of surrounding yourself with handsome men. my main draw is that I can make them look in anyway I'd want to, in the clothing that I find attractive. It's like having my own little resin harem.


      Elysion gear,

      Resin Harem, I love that! I found that amusing because I call the 7 male characters I play in my MMORPG my harem.
       
      #10 Kimaeril, May 10, 2015
    11. I'm the exact opposite. I'm a male collector with female dolls. I have almost no interest in the male dolls. I have purchased one recently, merely as an accessory to my female dolls. I haven't bonded with him, nor do I expect to. I got him relatively cheap from someone else who was having trouble selling him, so short of giving him away, or selling him ridiculously cheap, I'm stuck with him, but that's fine.
       
      #11 otherunicorn, May 10, 2015
    12. I'm only really interested in boy dolls, but I'm the same way irl all my friends are male. I guess I too just can't help but surround myself in sexiness :p I am wondering whether straight men and lesbians have the opposite problem?
       
      #12 Spaniel, May 10, 2015
    13. See my post above. And if it isn't obvious, I'm straight.
       
      #13 otherunicorn, May 10, 2015
    14. I have - lemme count - 22 BJDs and only four of them are female (with two more female heads to share one of the bodies). I guess for me it's just the kind of doll. The four I got aren't exactly your typical cute/pretty girl doll: one's a Cynical Baby Cathy that I got because I love her grumpy look and also because she looked like my beloved Anne of Green Gables (like, the moment when she hit Gilbert Blythe over the head with her slate). One's a Fairyland Marcia (with a look on her face that clearly says "Cross me and I'll kill you in oyur sleep" - first time I saw her my reaction was "Whoa - Black Widow!!!"). One's a PID Dorothy (again, she reminded me of Black Widow, so I HAD to have her) and the newest addition to my girl-crew is a Volks Garnet (who could make a great boy, too, when you look at her). The other two girl heads are a Volks Emma and a Volks Mark (one's a boy-sculpt, the other one could make a great boy, too).

      I think what attracts me to girl dolls are
      a) sculpts with attitude (like the Cathy, the Marcia and the Dorothy)
      b) sculpts that could be girls as well as boys

      What I do like about my girls, especially the big one (Garnet's on an SD16 body that she's sharing with Mark and Emma), is that I can buy them all those great, flashy, fashionable clothes and shoes that I could (or would) never ever wear myself. :)

      Anyways, if you really want a girl - or several girls - in your doll crew by any means, maybe try looking at some of the more "ambiguous" sculpts or take a boy sculpt into a girl?
       
      #14 Khell, May 10, 2015
    15. I don't think the owners gender really affects preference for a dolls gender as there are both guys & girls who collect one or the other or both. There is this thread discussing preference for one gender doll over another.
      I only collect boys and have no urge whatsoever to have a female bjd. One of my boys has a female head sculpt (Soom Dia) but he is definitely all boy! I am attracted to guys so that is no doubt a part of it. Also all my important OCs as well as non original characters are male.
       
      #15 Kavarr, May 10, 2015
    16. It's very common. I've met many owners who say they don't connect with female dolls or are very picky with them. I'm the opposite. I don't connect with male dolls beyond them just being a pretty face. I've never seen one I felt the need to own. There's nothing wrong with it. Don't force yourself to buy something you don't actually want.

      I don't think sexual orientation or gender has a huge influence on it. I'm a straight female. I just connect with female characters and find them aesthetically pleasing. Likewise, all stories I write are female-only; not intentionally, I just don't feel any connection with a male perspective or a desire to create one.
       
      #16 Datsuki, May 10, 2015
    17. Preference. My "problem" is the opposite of yours. I want more adult guys in my collection but it doesn't happen often. Price is a factor and the type of male form I like is hard to find. If he's in my price range, he's androgynous or very feminine. If he's my type, he's too expensive at the base price. Funny thing is that price doesn't bother me so much with girl dolls. -shrug- Also this:

       
      #17 silverholly, May 10, 2015
    18. I bought 2 female and 2 male dolls years ago when I first got into the hobby, intentionally having an equal gender mix. Coming back 8 or so years later, I haven't been paying attention to the genders. Now tallying the new acquisitions, it seems the gender is still fairly balanced, but all but one of the full human dolls are male, and the full females (but the one) are anthros/fantasy, and a bunch of floating mostly female heads that could go either way.
       
      #18 ATYL, May 10, 2015
      Last edited: Dec 15, 2015
    19. I used to own nothing but male dolls, and now I own a mixture, with more attention spent on my big girls. They're fun. I really don't think gender or sexual preference really has anything to do with what one enjoys collecting.
       
      #19 Kim, May 10, 2015
    20. I'm a gamer as well, so I completely understand.

      Ah see that's what happen with my third bjd, though she didn't stay for long. :(

      I love your honesty. :D My favorite bjd out of the two is my older Sephiroth who is an Iplehouse EID. Though my AoD young MSD Sephiroth was my first bjd, the second one captures my heart. He's attractive, looks handsome and intimidating in anything, and smells good too. I can't find that in a female girl, though I want an older female doll who is independent, intelligent, and strong. I'm not to crazy about the super innocent girls and as cool as that Smart Doll from Danny Choo looks, as an older collector, I can't see myself owning a female doll who is supposedly 17, but dresses rather provocatively. I can't do it. I guess the sex appeal in a lot of female dolls just turns me away. I know I'm a prude, but I don't like the idea of owning something like that. But rest assure I won't give up on looking for that spectacular female doll. :)

      I understand, I too shop in the men's section. XD The girls' section is so flashy, and loud with designs and colors, I don't like that, but either way, it is a preference, but I would like a more diverse collection, but of course not owning a girl doll who I see only once a year. *.*


      That is a valid theory though. I've had girl dolls from little on, Barbie mostly, but still and now I'm drawn to something new and unique like boys dolls. It would be cool if there is a company who specializes in making tomboy dolls. I'm one myself, and having a girl doll as one could be the magic trick.

      Yeah that's good point, and I had every intention on doing that with Bonbon, but it didn't happen, there was like a wall there. So she wasn't the one, but if I do find a girl doll, she'll be my first (as far as bjds go) and last.

      That's a very good question. I see myself as independent, intelligent, and strong willed and dislike women who disrespect themselves and what not. I live in an all women's residence and I keep to myself because a lot of those people are so needy and can't do for themselves. I do have a few females friends, but all of them are tomboys, shockingly enough I have no male friends just acquaintances because I'm a gamer. I don't have any really girly girly friends. I'm quicker to relate to guys because of that sense of independence (not all though) and the interests. With women, it's a brick wall. :/

      Sounds like this 'opposites attract' deal is very powerful-so powerful to the point where it shows up in our hobbies.

      Hmm...that's what the tomboy doll deal I mentioned below was about. Kinda like Iplehouse latest bjd woman with the short but not that seductive. And oh man you have one heck of a collection. :D Gotta look at some pics. ;)
       
      #20 Daikini, May 10, 2015
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