1. Please review the following thread.
    Please review DoA's Rules
    Dismiss Notice

As a doll owner, do you have a responsibility to the community?

Feb 25, 2006

    1. As a doll owner, do you feel that you have a responsibility to the community that accepts and supports you as a fellow hobbyist? Do you feel that your behavior in the community is important, and perhaps even more so if you are a popular doll owner? (That is, a doll owner with popular dolls.) Do you want to set a good example to your "fans" and to the community at large? If you are a fan rather than a "celebrity", do you expect the doll owners you support and admire to be different in any way from you or from the rest of the community? Do you expect them to be more mature or to be more discerning? To be more original or to be more appreciative?

      What responsibilities do you have?

      Or do you think this is just the internet, these are just dolls, what I do is just a hobby and why the heck are you using multi-syllabic words and asking all these irrelevant questions?! XDDD
    2. I'm not on either side of the equation. My dolls are not well known and sometimes I'm glad they're not. I like other people's dolls but I'm not a fan type.

      I don't like it when people take their "role" too seriously though, as if there is some set way that I'm supposed to think about them, like we aren't all just doll people. Sometimes I can feel people trying to cut a special niche for themselves here in a way that seems pushy (for lack of a better word) and I wonder where they think they're trying to get? I guess I'm a touch laid back and it seems strange to me to try to "be someone" through my dolls.

      As far as having a sense of responsibility to the community...well, I do feel some need to maintain a presence as a real person, not an on-line persona or super- duper unrealistic cheery version of myself. I try to act as a balance, if that makes sense. :sweat
    3. Even though most of the time I am just one of those fans watching on, I don't think any owner has any responsibility to the community. Things like comparison shots or even gallery posts seem to be something that some owners do to be nice without any pressure.

      Doesn't mean that people who have popular dolls don't feel pressure. I'm positive quite a few of them do. It would hard not to with so many people who stare watching when their name shows up. But that's a pressure other people are probably forcing onto them. XD I don't like celebrities myself, people are people and no one should be treated differently from the next, and that should apply here too.

      XD I think the only people who have responsibility in a hobby is the people selling things!
    4. Hmm, I'm a 'fan' of many of the dolls here, but that doesn't mean I hold their owners up to higher expectations than the rest of us, nor do I think anyone should do this. Marking some owners out as 'celebrities' adds a feel of unwelcome elitism, especially should the owners in question begin acting that way as well. I can't think of anyone who does that, thankfully -- I'm not even sure how we'd define who 'popular doll owners' are. Everyone has their own favourites who they follow in the Gallery, after all.

      As for responsbities to the community I expect the same of everyone, which is little more than the obvious social rules. Most of us only know one another over the internet, so I expect and respect the following: those who take others into consideration, are polite, don't troll or be overly hard on people where it isn't wanted (snark is good, I'm all for snark where it's appropriate, and likewise people who are overly offended or upset at the drop of a hat due to things online make me feel a little iffy about them) and proper use of English (pet peeve. Correct spelling and grammar, please). Little more than basic internet etiquette, rather than anything to do specifically with our dolls. People have a responsibility to the community as far as these things are concerned, I think, but I don't believe there are any lofty responsibilities reserved only for the popular doll owners (whoever they might be)
    5. Agreed 100%.

      I think that everyone, "popular doll" owner or not, who's a member of an on-line community should hold themselves to exactly the same standard. Basically, it just comes down to "Don't be a total jerk."

      That's the only responsibility there really needs to be.
    6. Not popular and doubt I ever will be, and frankly, I don't care. Even in fandoms where I am, my only responsibility is to remain true to myself and enjoy fandom in the way I want to.

      I get turned off by BNF behaviour in any fandom, dolls included. Having a popular doll doesn't entitle you to any special priveleges or allow you to act better than anyone else. No one has any responsibility in this fandom except for those who take on positions that require it, such as mods on the various forums or sellers who are responsible to their buyers.
    7. I'm sure I'll make myself thoroughly unpopular saying I think there are some standards people should make an attempt to hold up. I don't make a different set of standards for 'celebrities' or 'fans' though, I think everyone should just act responsibly and think how their actions may effect others in this small community.
    8. Totally unknown dolls here, but I am a fan of some of the popular dolls, and I don't expect their owners to behave any differently than anyone else. The Big Name Fan phenomenon is kinda silly in any group. I appreciate a doll's owner's creativity, but they're not an idol or a political figure or anything, and I don't expect them to act like one.
    9. I love my dolls and they are very important to me.
      I would never want to misrepresent them or thier makers.
      however, I am not popular and I do not think my dolls are either.
      Personally, I could care less if people do not like me or my dolls.
      That may sound harsh, but I do this hobby for me, not anyone else.
      I hope other owners feel the same, 'cause what they do with their hobby doesn't really effect me.
    10. I think it's a fandom. I also don't think that anyone is really any more important or amazing than anyone else in certain reguards. The community is a bunch of people with a shared interest. Not something put on by a few people or something that's really contributed to in any way other than by just existing. *Shrugs*
    11. I don't think owning a doll gives one any special responsibilities.

      I do think if a doll owner chooses to join this community then they have the responsibility to avoid scamming others, behaving in a civil way, adhering to forum rules as much as possible, etc. The moderators also have special responsibilities. I also think people who set up faqs or resource sites have the responsibility to maintain them or find others who will.

      People who contribute a lot to the community will probably become popular, but I don't really know. There's always talk about popular and unpopular people but I have never really managed to figure out who these mysterious popular ones are, because it seems like whenever someone becomes well-known there's a backlash of people who dislike the person, but I don't think it stems from anyone failing in responsibilities.
    12. I think the basic rules of proper social conduct apply to any fandom, not just BJDs (though with dolls, the rules of proper handling of people's property also apply..) - I'm not saying be super polite all the time and have hearts floating around you all the time while you kindly help out every new person that comes your way, but like Brightfires said...don't be a jerk. Treat others with respect, don't start unnecessary drama, keep others feelings in mind before you say anything. Stuff that we were all taught in elementary school and have hopefully practiced enough by this point in our lives.

      I agree with what everyone is saying - I'm not a popular owner, but popularity, or lack thereof shouldn't be any determining factor in how one acts in a community. People who get the most comments in the gallery don't have license to be idiots, nor do they have to be perfect saints all the time. I do think they may feel like have to conduct themselves a bit more carefully, simply because they have more exposure and attention, but in the end it all boils down their own personal choices. This is a HOBBY and no one needs undue stress to preform just because of a hobby.
    13. That's a good point that many others have brought up as well. Thanks muchly. =) Now I'll throw in another $0.02! XD

      I believe it's an undeniable fact that some doll owners are more popular than others. And, with popularity, like it or not, comes a certain amount of power. This power is, of course, the ability to attract a captive audience of "fans". Nothing wrong with that, but that power can be put to good use. Related to this point is the high visibility factor: like a popular politician or a popular rock singer, people do look up to popular doll owners in a similar fashion. People want to emulate the ones they hold in higher regard. As such, the things a popular doll owner does or does not do can influence. (Although I'm sure 99% of us will say, oy, we're not that impressionable and I can't care less what that popular doll owner does or does not do, I cannot be influenced. 8])

      Because of all that, I feel that popular doll owners can and should behave responsibly, even though I'd wholeheartedly agree that such behavior is really something to be expected from all of us. (Basic nettiquette, courtesy, graciousness, etc.) The impact of certain words or actions from someone who is fondly regarded can be very different from someone else who is relatively unknown.
    14. Um. I agree that people are influenced by something they admire, but I'd hope they have the good sense to tell the difference between the thing they admire about the person (in this case, their doll) and the person themself. And if they don't - if someone with a popular doll starts acting like a jerk, and 20 people who like the doll think this means it's okay to act like a jerk too - you know, I'm not going to blame the doll owner. We're all adults here, more or less (old enough to afford and take care of these dolls, anyway!); no one should be worrying overmuch about the impressionable kiddies/minions. It's a good idea to set a good example, yeah, and even moreso when you know more people are paying attention to you, but I don't want to set up a separate set of expectations.

      I do get what you're saying there - actually I totally agree with all your reasoning. I just disagree with your conclusion because I disapprove of the BNF phenomenon in general, and formalizing it - stating that because you have a popular doll, you have this extra responsibility - just helps foster that elitist attitude (on both sides, the fan's and the BNF's. It's the fans' higher expectations of someone who didn't sign on for extra responsibility that tends to cause problems). I'd prefer if people downplayed that rather than allow it to become standard.
    15. It's wierd- I recognise most of you by name and know a little about all your dolls mainly becuase I am online so much.

      I have yet to spot anyone that I would consider a 'celebrity' on this forum, but then, I am amazingly unobservant like that. And even if I did spot them, I doubt they would be bahaving in a manner any different to the rest of us- it's one of the things I like about this place... provided nothing contreversial pops up, most people behave in a perfectly ordianry manner- we are polite, we are kind to each other and help each other out. It's all good and shiny. ^_^

      I also think that generally, people who don't behave with a certain amount of rsponsibility get picked out pretty quickly and either learn to 'behave' or dissapear.

      Just my £00.02... ^_-
    16. ^-^ I think as a member of this community ~ people should be, as above stated polite.
      Nettiquete is a wonderful thing and YES to standard english where possible - especially as there are a lot of people here whose first language is not english.

      As for fandom and popularity I don't quite know what to think. There are several people here that post regularly and have a following of 'fans' but I don't think that any more or less should be expected of them, than anyone else.

      Personally I'm surprised to find that Kai, especially, has gained some of his own fans - people who post wonderful comments every time a picture of him springs up here. While it's flattering, I've yet to have any pressure put on me to 'perform' - and I'm so completely relieved that I doubt it would ever get to that point.

      It's not a responsibility but I do like the idea of this being a community where people can share and exchange information - and I think that being able to PM or comment asking questions, and being informed enough to answer them is one of the wonderful things here. I remember and still am grateful to all the patient people here who spent the time to answer all my silly questions when I was still starting out and I think it's nice to be able to pass that on.
    17. I totally agree with this. I think everyone has a responsibility to behave themselves in society--any society. Too many people take personal freedom so far that they feel free to trample all over everyone and everything else.

      I don't think people with certain dolls should behave better, but if they DO feel a responsibility, I think that's just fine! Certainly those who moderate this board or who tend to represent BJD-owners for some reason or other, should try and behave well. That's part of their "job"--whether they asked for that part or not.

      Whether some people think of them as "elite" is up to them. I'm not bothered by it. Assigning a hierarchy usually only works when people want it to work, as in, some people start believing they are better or worse, and that others are better or worse. I don't think of anyone in those terms--particularly when it comes to owning certain kinds of dolls. That's silly, to me, but if others buy into it, that's their problem.

      As long as people are kind and helpful and positive, I'm happy.
    18. I think that all people - doll collectors or not - have a responsibility to behave with courtesy and thoughtfulness. I realize that this way of thinking is sometimes considered old-fashioned or just not trendy. Hostility seems to have become kind of a fad online. But my feeling is that whether or not someones dolls are enjoyed by the community, the owners should behave with good manners and an awareness of their fellow collectors. However, jerks will be jerks, and they aren't going to become nice just because a group of people think they have cool dolls. My kids have as many people hating them as they do that like them. Such is life. I enjoy other people's dolls and let them know it. It's kind of a give and take. Not to be a pollyanna, but I believe that when you give as much as you take, everyone benefits. I love my dolls and I celebrate that by having fun with them. If other people join in and have fun - and drag their dolls along to play - all the better.

      On the flip side of that, sometimes people expect a lot, and not everyone is going to be satisfied. And not everyone is going to view a doll owners style or attitude the same way. So...it's almost impossible to be a "role model" for everyone. Being honest about who you are, and being as responsive as possible, is a good way to go - but sometimes doll owners get tired or just want to have some fun, without the restrictions of expectations. People do come to expect certain things from them, and that can sometimes be restricting. So does that conflict with how owners of "popular dolls" should act? I'd say that in certain aspects, yes it does.
    19. My answer is simple: The community is one of the aspect I love the most about bjd (after the dolls themselves of course!) So I try to be nice to every one because I love this place so much!
    20. Well... I look at it this way.

      People assume that because we're walking around toting $500 worth of resin that weighs as much as a bag of sugar that we're weirdos. So as far as I'm concerned, doll owners don't have a responsibility to be nice, polite people - but it's to everyone's advantage if we are. That way, a small number of people will start saying things like "Oh, it's the dollie lady/guy! They're a bit odd, but really nice and friendly." Rather than "Oh, it's that weirdo with the dolls."

      Whether offline or online, it's to our advantage to be just as nice and polite as everyone else, maybe even more so. I wouldn't say it's a responsibility to the doll community to be a wonderful person, but it's a positive thing for that community.