Being in the hobby while pregnant?

I've been there. The most important thing is balance. Because here's the thing, if you are only concerned with you own wants, and not the baby's you're clearly not going to be a good mother. BUT, and here's the part it took me a while to understand, if you are only concerned with the baby, and let everything you want fall to the side, you're not being a good mother either. Teach your child to find happiness by finding your own, teach them that they are not the center of the universe (even if it feels like they're the center of yours and trust me they will) by not making them the center of the universe. But also teach them that what we want isn't always the most important thing, that there are things bigger than ourselves that are worth sacrificing for, first and foremost of which is family. The only way to do that is to find a balance in your own like and lead by example. The occasional splurge on the things you want isn't a bad thing at all, as long as it is occasional.

And don't worry, what your feeling is totally normal. It just means you love your baby and want to do the right thing. But please try not to stress yourself out too much over things like this, you are pregnant after all. Even if it's hard just try to sit back and enjoy the experience.

 

I understand you, she gave birth to a baby recently, the birth of a child does not prevent me as well as earlier want to dolls and spend money on them. But of course this is despite the fact that my child does not need, otherwise it would be selfish. I too had that do not postpone for the future of the money for the baby, but I realized that if I will not be a delight to engage in what I like, then I'll subconsciously to blame it on the child. Everyone must be personal space.

 

I'm sure it's a bit different for everyone, but I can say that from the moment I found out I was pregnant, my child and her needs took absolute precedence over everything. Pretty natural, I think, on a deep, instinctual level! BUT, you also have to remember that you are a person in your own right, and while you will often feel compelled to make sacrifices for your children, your own needs and wants still have a place. You certainly don't want to become one of those people who has nothing in thirty years but an empty nest and a lot of resentment! Hobbies keep us busy and mellow. Enjoy your pregnancy and your baby...but always leave some time, self-indulgence and pampering for yourself.

 

Well i have just same issue right now. I have 1 and half month old baby at home and everything in our lives are oscillating around her and her needs right now But lately i got two characters which i really want to shell into a dolls. I feel quiet guilty to order a doll even if i will be sawing money little by little because even if i go for cheapest doll which is 230 euro its a lot of money and i should spend them more well lets call it wisely as i am not earning money anymore on the other hand i want that little joy of creating character out of sculpt because even loving mother needs to relax a little to not get crazy right? *sigh* im really torn apart between guilt and greed so i decided not to order any now doll for while.

Congratulation for being pregnant! its really lovely time in life and hope that everything will be nice and smooth for you and your baby boy

 

I was pregnant with my second child when I was just starting into the hobby, nearly 4 years ago now. On the one hand, I felt guilty spending so much money on me. My husband was going to school full time and working full time, we already had one child who had just turned two, a second on the way, and I was (and still am) a stay at home mom. The money I was putting into the hobby was money my husband worked hard for, that could go towards things he would enjoy in the little free time he could scrape out for himself (even though whenever I got hobby money, so did he, I felt bad because he gave me so much more than he ever took for himself) or it could be used to get things my 2 year old wanted (hobby money only got spent if all bills were paid, and our child had everything he needed) or on extra things for the upcoming baby (again, we had everything we needed for the baby, and then some already). I had to realize that, while I am a wife, and a mommy, I am ALSO still ME. And that I still need things of my own, time of my own, hobbies of my own. Without them, I am at risk of losing myself to the needs of the rest of my family. You can't just let yourself get lost in the needs of your family. If you do, you don't know what to do, how to be a person who ISN'T a wife and mommy when your child(ren) no longer needs a mommy and can do for themselves. Let alone when they reach adulthood and move out of your home.

It really is all about balance. Make sure that your bills are paid, there is food in the cupboard, and you have everything your baby needs. Keep a savings account that is for family emergencies, one that is school money for your child. Even a little bit put into those accounts every month adds up, and makes you feel better in knowing that you are preparing for the future as well as living your life now. Beyond that, give yourself and your husband your monthly 'spending' money. Each of you uses that one whatever you want. Save it up for something big, spend it immediately on smaller items, go out together. Whatever. My husband has his 'game' fund money. Sometimes he uses it for video games. Sometimes he uses it to play Magic. I have my 'dolly' fund money. I use it to save up for dolls, or pay back our savings when I do 'layaway' with the hubby (he pulls money from savings for the doll I want, I pay him back until the doll is paid off. We do this when there's a sell price I don't want to miss, or a doll I want is being discontinued, but only if everything else expense wise is caught up in the house and we can afford the money out of savings) or to buy doll items or supplies. Sometimes I use some of the money to buy a game I want, or to get a subscription to play WoW for a few months. I know that money is what we could afford for me to set aside, so I can afford to spend it on me. Without my hobbies, my dolls, I wouldn't have known what to do with myself when this school year started, and both my boys were in school. Instead I'd just have spent my younger boy's hours in preschool doing nothing but being there with him, volunteering in class. While that is encouraged and appreciated, it does him no good to have me at school with him all day every school day. So instead, I volunteer when I want to, or I come home and do chores, or I come home and play with my dolls. I go out to doll meets as often as I can (locally we do meets monthly, with random 'mini meets' between when people want to just get together and hang out) which gives me time with other adults, friends, away from my kids in most cases (we have at least 2 child friendly meets a year that my whole family attend) and sometimes without my husband, too (he has a doll and goes to meets with me unless I'm going with friends). It keeps me happy, balanced, and social with both my family and adult friends. It gives me a break from being wife and mommy to just be me on my own. And, as they are getting older, my boys spend more and more of my dolly time with me, too. They like helping me with photos, with picking fabrics for the dollies, with finding the type of outfits I want to make. So it also gives my children and I some special time together, that is something that we get, but no one else in the family really does, that no one else is willing to really do with them. It also gives my husband and I something else to do together, when discussing how to take our original characters and embody them as dolls. So it leads to most of my 'me' time, but as my family grows it also gives us some fun special time together in it's own ways.

 

This thread is so good to read. I am in the hobby for a year now and spending all my money on dolls. But my boyfriend and I plan to get pregnant in summer and I already worry about my hobby... I know I will no longer buy 2+ dolls per months, I will slowly save up for new additions and just buy a doll every now and then when I really need it. But it still feels selfish...
It's good to see that others have the same thoughts and it's good to read experiences others have made. I'm a lucky to have a very supportive boyfriend who cares about me a lot and does everything to make me happy and allows me to spend all my money on dolls. I'm sure he'll be a big help finding the right balance in our lives.

 

I'm not sure what I can add to the thread as I'm not pregnant and never plan to be, except for congratulating all the mothers/expectant mothers who've already commented! But I do think it's really important for a mother to have her own life and interests outside of her children. My mum's big interest is gardening and it was inspiring to see her so passionate and knowledgeable about something outside of the house. Owning dolls in itself can be a good lesson for children anyway - they learn about the value of other people's possessions, and the importance of creativity. So if you have some extra cash and can afford and doll AND your child's nappies, then go for it

 

I went through the same thing early on when I had my babies (although they are steadily growing up now). You need to have a hobby of your own that helps give you a bit of private joy. As long as your family is fed, the bills are paid and no-one is wanting then why not have some fun.

 

I am at home with my two children, my son is 3 years old and my daughter is 5 months old. I have 4 dolls. I can remain in balance as a kind mother and during the evenings I can entertain my own dreams. So, I also think having balance is the most important.

 

Everyone needs a hobby and think about it...Don't you feel relaxed when your playing with your dolls, dressing them, photographing them? It's important to have something to relax with. You can be a good mom but you can also get the things you want. My mom when I was little always saved a little extra money to buy a book for herself every now and then and that hobby of reading got passed to me. Think about it..Imagine in a few years you and your son bonding over dolls too. Wouldn't that be fun?

 

I think the guilt may have something to do with the way that pregnant people have been a bit... Dehumanised, of late.

Of the US people I speak to, all of them either have stories of when they were pregnant, being told to stop eating/drinking/doing whatever they were doing by complete strangers, or they have stories of when their friends and partners were pregnant, and seeing the same thing happen to them. The whole "I'm a Mom First" narrative is doing a heck of a lot to stop people, and mostly women, from having ambitions and interests outside of their homes and families, which can only be a bad thing, really.

As a result, I think it's safe to say that at least in some places, pregnant people are put under so much scrutiny that they feel like *everything* that they do should be for the good of the foetus.

As for being in the hobby whilst pregnant - Go for it. Unless you're going to have to starve yourself or your child to get that doll, just go and get the doll.

 

Definitely find that balance. But also consider your health while pregnant: I advise against any sort of modding or face painting during this time, as both the chemicals and resin dust are toxic and could be bad for baby Bentley just as much as it'd be bad for you. Babies are an important and expensive responsibility... but you also have the responsibility to take care of yourself as well.

 

I didn't own any dolls when I was pregnant, but that guilty feeling over spending money on myself is one I know all too well. It just got worse after he was born. Now he's 4 1/2, hubby and I are both full-time students, and the guilty feelings have moved from niceties to necessities. Hubby keeps telling me we can afford it, but I feel bad buying new notebooks, let alone a doll. But every once in a while you just have to forget about cost and where else the money could go and just see that doll in your hands and how happy it will make you. Happy mama, happy baby!

 

I get those feelings sometimes, and it's what I would like to think is a guardian angel (or even God) telling me that I will need the money in the future and to save it up now. Something is gonna happen. If I feel right about a doll or a sale I see, I'll get it. But if I get the sick feeling, inevitably the car, the apartment, or my own body will need the money.

 

Not with MSC its toxic so, or you can ask your husband to spray it outside and just apply colors Another option is to buy non toxic sealant which is quiet discussed topic im not sure myself how it works but search Liquitex matter medium and liquitex matte varnish on the Customization & Maintenance part of the forums.

 

I think your only major problem is avoiding MSC during pregnancy.
Yeah, maybe you do need to put your child first, but that's a natural thing... YOU need to enjoy your hobbies too, and you will still have time to.
You in no way have to give up the hobby.

And remember, there are a lot of little things you can do to cut back on expenses, and they can balance things out.

Like gifts at baby showers to look forward to, and buying used would cut back a lot.
(I find it insane seeing parents buy new baby clothes, when they'll outgrow it in months... Most thrift stores you pop into will be full of barely used baby clothes, for obvious reasons. :3 )

You don't have to feel guilty. Maybe you won't be able to afford as much doll stuff, but you can stay in the hobby, and continue to enjoy your dolls.

 

I read this thread with interest and laughed (not unkindly) because let me tell you, this feeling of guilt does NOT go away!
My son is 26 and has come back to live at home and has been unable to find permanent work for some time now, although he does work every hour he can when he finds anything temporary. But in the meantime his car doesn't run too well and could really do with replacing and I feel so guilty every time I spend money on a doll, even though we support him completely and the money that I spend is from either selling other dolls or sewing commissions.
I think it is just our natural instinct to cherish and protect our children above ourselves that makes us feel this guilt!
So enjoy your pregnancy and enjoy your hobby too....you might not get a lot of time for your dolls once your baby boy arrives, so enjoy it while you can!