BJD buying FEAR?!(not afraid of the actual BJDs!!!)

I can't really say about persuading it money well spent. I just jumped in an bought my first one to see if I like the size or the weight. Having one in your hands is better than just looking online. I know about the mom guilt. Its my money and I save and buy and then get the guilt trip from my mom but I work hard and I deserve a little happiness from my hobby.

 

You can actually feel less guilty if you can sell random other things and use the money to pay back the "debt to yourself" for buying the doll. That way it won't be you spending external money but recycling the money. It's actually quitre fun and make you like your doll even more because you know you are willing get him over the other things you sold.

 

Who cares if you end up not playing with your doll all the time? I have 9 that I hardly ever to anything with during the winter because my house sucks for photographs. I haven't taken a real photo of my dolls since like November. Right now they're just on display like your pullip. I say get whatever doll you want and tell her how much it hurts when she belittles your hobbies like that. It's not her money, it's not her place. And if you do get it and decided either bjd's aren't for you, or you want a different one they're more or less easy enough to sell.

 

I have collected dolls (antique dolls mainly) for more than twenty years and never get tired. BJD's have interested me for near ten of those. I am a member of several different doll communities for different kinds of dolls and have "penpals" and friends from all over the world as a result. My only BJD is a Dollstown Elf SophB. She is currently on her second face-up. There are many many reasons for me to love dolls and lots of people do not get it. I see it as their loss. I think that you should go ahead and buy your doll and loose the fear. If you decide later it is not for you you can always resell him/her in the MP here on DOA.

I display my dolls, modern and antique, I do not play with them. I do make items for them, though, as I love little tableaus. for me it is an outlet for my fantasy and artistic sense as well as pleasing to the eye

 

It's your money, not your mother's. Basically it comes down to this: it would be nice if she was more supportive, but if she's not then you have to just think about what makes you happy with your money. And if a doll makes you happy, and you can afford that doll, then what's stopping you?

I also want to let you know that even if you did only play with the doll for a week before getting bored? Hey, that's ok too. That might mean that BJDs aren't for you, and you can easily sell the doll on, but at least you tried. How will you ever know unless you try? That doll you buy might turn out to be the loveliest thing you ever brought home!

Please don't ever let anyone guilt you into feeling shame for having a hobby

 

I am 61 years old, have an ever growing collection of many things besides a large collection of bjds. Because of my job I rarely get the opportunity to pull out any of my collections because when I am off I am volunteering with two feral cat rescue groups which means long hours. But it is enough that I know that I HAVE my collections. So when that rare moment arrives, I can select which thing I want to share a few moments with and then do so. If I did not have them at all then I would never have the opportunity and would regret that deeply.

In the end...it is YOU that has to answer to YOU. Parents are important but we grow somewhat beyond the need for their approval on our every move. Give yourself time to do this. My mom, at 82, who thinks hobbies and any pet are all a big waste of time may give me her opinion about my latest purchase or foster cat but that is all it is now days...an OPINION. To thine own self be true my dear. Or you will regret many things in life.

 

I think that rather than trying to convince your mother that you'll play with your new doll, what you need to explain to her is that your interest in dolls is changing from that of a child to that of an adult collector. For a lot of adult collectors, a doll being displayed is how the doll is used and loved, not a sign of neglect. Your mom may not understand that this is a grownup hobby you're growing into, not a child hobby you're growing out of.

Ultimately it's your money to do with as you want. Since you seem to still live at home, though, I understand why you don't want to create conflict with your mom. I just wonder if maybe your mom is seeing this differently than you are because she's seeing it in terms of a child's toys rather than a grownup's collecting hobby. Maybe she would understand better if you gave her examples of other collections people have, and how dolls aren't that different.

 

Moms make you feel guilty, that's what they do. If you've been wanting a BJD for a year, it's safe to say it's not a passing whim. Remember you can always sell your BJD if you really don't like it, but I think you will be glad you bought one.

 

If you've got a mess of porcelain dolls, then your mom should be used to the whole doll-thing already!

You can tell her that if you get tired of your bjd, then you will sell it and get some money back. And actually DO sell things you don't want any longer--to make room, as you said, and to also show that you don't just buy things and forget about it... you can do something smart with your items and money by selling things you don't want any longer... AND that will make money so that the cost of your bjd will actually be less, since you're not spending new money--but money from other things that were just lying around.

Basically-- the money and decision is YOURS. Eventually your mother will trust you to make good decisions if you show that you are responsible and aren't spending too crazily and can take care of your purchases.

You don't NEED to be doing things with your possessions all the time. But it IS smart to clear out some things you don't need and make a bit money back from them. But that's not important, either.

If you have the money (and it's not needed for necessities) and really want a bjd, then there's no reason you shouldn't buy it and enjoy it however you please.

 

I think your mom is just being a little bird on your shoulder and repeating all the doubts you already have. It's a big decision but I'm sure you'll do what you feel is best for you in the end.

 

People go through phases, it's not limited to kids. If you pass out of a BJD phase, it doesn't mean that you won't come back to it again. Many people, myself included, take breaks from the hobby from time to time. I once dropped out of the hobby for nearly a year. Didn't touch my dolls, didn't log onto doll forums, didn't go to meets, didn't look at doll sites or pics, nothing. Then one day I picked my dolls up again, got back into things.

Your mother knows you better than most people, but that doesn't mean that she knows you inside and out. Maybe she sees something that is causing her to caution you against it, but maybe she just is expressing her own fears or thoughts on the matter. It is a big chunk of money, no question. But YOU are the only person who can truly answer if it is worth it or not. Not her, not anyone here, not your friends.

There's no guarantees that you'll love them as much next year as you do today. Trying to give your mother a guarantee is futile. Any doubts you need to address aren't hers, but yours. If you have any doubt, take some time to work it out. Be realistic about it and step back, take a look at it objectively. See if this is something you truly want to invest in. Because it is an investment. The doll itself is just the start. Even if you get a fullset, at some point most people will buy extra outfits, eyes, wigs, new faceups. They also seem to demand friends a lot, too.

Determine your reasons why you want a BJD. See if this path seems like one that you're likely to stick to and grow on. If you decide yes, then go for it. Don't waste time trying to persuade others. Words often aren't enough; your actions will prove your commitment. You will always have naysayers, but you can't let them run your life, even if you respect and love them dearly. Chances are if she sees that you are serious about it, she'll come around on her own.

 

Sometimes you can't convince people of anything. They will have their own opinions no matter what you do. Do whatever makes YOU happy. Just because dolls are displayed and not played with doesn't make them a waste of money

 

This. So much this.

 

I've been collect BJDs for about 2 years, and my parents don't have a problem with me collecting dolls. It's just that I'm running out of space because of the fashion dolls I collected pre-BJD and the prices of BJDs. My problem is that I collect mature tinies (and smaller) some of which are quickly discontinued, and are quite uncommon to start with. There are two I plan to buy in a few months that I intend to sell some of my off-topic dolls to afford. I love my dolls, and don't see myself out growing them. Be sure yourself, and I'm sure your mom will stop doubting so much. Good luck!

 

Many of them do hold their value, so it's not like it's a waste of money when/if you get tired of them. You'll get a lot - if not all - the money back you invested in them! Go buy dolls!

 

So what if you don't play with them much? I have a ginormous collection of plastic dolls and most of them sit on the shelves after I do their hair. My two resins are super dear to me and I worked twice as hard to afford them and the huge amount of money I spend on them, but they stay in their cases for weeks at a time, even though I work from home. It doesn't mean I don't love them as much as anyone else. I just don't want to force myself to love on them instead of taking them out on a day where I really, really want to play with them. I don't like to spread the love thin.

The money thing can be hard, though. These dolls are expensive on their own and if you don't like to make clothing (Me) then it's also costly to get a full wardrobe for them. Honestly I could probably buy another MSD with the money I spent on clothing, accessories and cases for them- and they have small wardrobes! But at the same time I know I'm getting something that I truly love that makes me happy. Sometimes the cost is worth it!

 

I collected anime figurines before I got into the BJD hobby. I don't really play with any of them, instead, I just like to display them. I do like to photograph them when I have the time. I spend most of my time at work so I don't play too much. My family isn't too supportive of my hobbies. After a while, I just decided to listen to them but not take their suggestions to heart. They used to make fun of me when I went to anime conventions and cosplayed so I just ignored them and they stopped pestering me about it. They still say that my hobbies are too expensive but if I didn't have these hobbies, my money would end up going to other stuff. I pay my bills and enjoy my hobbies and that's all that should matter. Don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't have something that you really want and like many other people said already, BJDs usually hold their value so even if you didn't like the doll, you could always sell it.

 

They're dolls. They don't need to be constantly fiddled with or doted on. They are perfectly suited to sitting pretty on a shelf somewhere. So I don't think you should feel the need to constantly play with them in order to fully enjoy them. As for mum's other concerns... Yes it is a lot of money to be spending on something you may or may not seldom "use" and I'm sure she's thinking you could put that kind of money into a new computer or something. And that's fine, many people don't get that this is a luxury hobby is about what YOU like. Some people play air soft, others are into mini war gaming, yet others might prefer kayaks or buying expensive luxury handbags. We like pretty customizable dolls. I found that it was easier to compare it to the other person's expensive hobbies, and they seemed to get it then. It may or may not work for you.

 

Depends, if you have more important things that you should spend this money on, then the doll can wait, but if you have this money and you have no other priority to spend it on, then you should get the doll that would make you happy even if for some weeks