Bjd shame

The first time my mom saw my doll collection (which went from 0 to 100 during the pandemic), she was horrified at the sheer number of dolls I owned. She tried to shame me hard.

I don't know. If I were younger, maybe I would have freaked out and sold everything like she told me to. Now - nah. My collection gives me joy. And if anyone tries to give me grief for owning dolls, I just tell them to think of my dolls as really fancy action figures. No one seems to have a problem with people who collect those...

 

Life's too short to let other people ruin your joy. If they think you're weid, then let 'em be and do your own thing and be happy.

 

I mean, it's the same as collecting action figures or car models, except with BJDs you can interact with them in many more different ways. Nothing to be ashamed of if it's something you enjoy! And, honestly, people will always find a reason to shame you. If not your gender, it's your age etc. Just do your thing and don't mind it.

 

I sometimes feel a little weird about my collection, especially when talking to people like my very practical mom or my very frugal boyfriend, but at the end of the day, it gives me joy and I've made a lot of wonderful friends in this hobby, so I don't dwell on it too long. I personally wish it was more acceptable for men to own and enjoy dolls, so I say heck 'em and have fun! And congrats on your first doll!

 

Congratulations on your first doll!
Nah, I'm too old to be ashamed. All my dolls are displayed in the living room right at the entrance, nobody had problems with them so far. I'd say your confidence helps here too - most people won't tell you what to do if you're not asking them.
After all, it's good to have a hobby.

 

There should be no shame in doing what gives you joy. If other people see that you are proud of what you do, and you show confidence in your decisions, then it will rub off on them, and they will appreciate what you do.
During the 80s and 90s I worked at Mattel Toys in California, and there were men who worked in the design department, designing fashion for Barbie dolls. I also got to know lots of men who collected Barbies and other dolls. Everyone admired them for being proud of their collections.

I had a funny incident happen a couple of weeks ago. I'm friends with a young couple from my church. The wife comes over often to visit, and she half jokingly says she thinks my dolls are creepy. I know she thinks its odd for a grown woman like me to have a bunch of dolls. Well, one day her husband came with her to visit. He saw my dolls for the first time, and he exclaimed that they were "really cool". I showed him one of my Minfees which was not dressed or wigged, he examined it, turning it every which way, trying its joints to see how it moved. He was fascinated by the mechanics of it. He is an engineer and designs parts of aircraft engines. It also interested him to learn that the dolls are customizable. I showed him wigs, eyes, etc. I half expected him to ask how he could get one.
I was tickled to death that this "dude" was so fascinated by a doll. It really boosted my confidence about owning dolls "at my age".

Edited to add that my ex who was a 40 year old man working in the film industry, was a toy collector. He was really into Disney toys and proudly displayed them at home and at his office. Nobody thought it was weird. Everybody thought it was "cool".

 

Absolutely not!

I'm a man in my mid fifties and I have a house full of them (not just BJD - I'm a lifelong doll collector), take them all sorts of places with me, and take at least one in to work with me most days.

This. Absolutely this!

Also, when we have doll meets in public places, it's more often men that come over to ask questions about the dolls than women.

Teddy

 

No need to be ashamed, although I get that some ridiculous stigma still exists. People often find it weird that grown women have dolls too, but for men it can be worse. You just need to ignore judgemental people & get to know those who are open minded. As others have said, the “line” between action figures and dolls is ridiculous. Lots of men collect superhero/soldier figures, yet ‘dolls’ are looked down on when they’re pretty much the same thing. They’re poseable plastic figures.

i hope you get to enjoy collecting & being part of the community with understanding people here!

 

There are many men (both cis-males and transmen) in the hobby, you are not at all alone.
I'm male myself, I've been in the hobby for a long time now around 14 years. In my lifetime I've faced bullying for being many things, being home schooled, raised vegetarian, openly LGBTQ, and even liking dolls, action figures and Lego as an adult. However I drew my lines in the sand, and double so with toy collecting. Because I believe play time is a needed part of life, be that in the form of a video game, putting together a puzzle or Lego set, or taking a photo of a BJD. Life is too short not to have a little fun and an outlet for creative energy.

Haters will hate, but you will find there are wonderful people out there too, people that will love. Do not let "Shame" keep you from happiness. Not all of my friends are in the hobby, many do not get it at all, but all my true friends at least respect I love my dolls and toys. So even without fully getting it, they know my dolls matter to me.

As many here have said at some point you have to make a stand for what makes you happy. For me I have snapped on both strangers and a friend that crossed lines mocking my dolls. I'm not going to change who I am for anyone, I'm the weird and fun vegetarian, transman, with a toy collection, and I am damn proud to be that. You'll find a lot of us doll folks are fun and nice.

Side note G.I. Joe coined the term action figure, as a marketing ploy to sell dolls to little boys. There honestly is no real difference.

 

Sometimes I'm a little ashamed of how much money I've spent on these dolls when I could have been putting money into savings or something.

 

I actually got my ex into BJDs the same year I got into them. Initially he thought they were a little creepy, but after browsing a few websites with him he fell head over heels for an MSD from Dollzone and bought her. He bought another SD in the same year, and owned a few dolls over the time we were together. He'd come to meets with me, and other doll-collecting guys came out of the woodwork, probably inspired by him.
After we broke up he sold all his dolls, but gave his first one to me as a gift - partly because she also plays a role in my own dolls' story, but also because it meant he could still see her when we meet up to play video games together (yes, we're still friends!) He's still friends with my BJD friends, and he loves seeing how I paint my dolls, which has in turn gotten him into Warhammer and painting his own minis. While they're not BJDs, it's still a fun crafty sort of hobby and it means he can still construct characters and stories, but be a little bit more stealth about it around his incredibly boring family.

 

As many here have already stated--you definitely shouldn't feel ashamed about being in the BJD hobby! People collect so many different things, from rocks to watches, that dolls are really no different. I've always had a variety of interests deemed "unusual" so while my family wasn't exactly encouraging with the dolly hobby, they were supportive in that it made me happy. Nowadays, I actually get a lot of praise and support for my dolls. I think as time went on, people in my life see them more as artistic, while others just tend to find them really unusual and "eye-catching."

Also...don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting a doll as a man! Who in the world decided to gender hobbies anyway? It's silly. Anyone can enjoy a doll.

 

I like to think that I am too old for the shame. I am a grown business professional who has pretty dollies this is fine with me. Also there is a lot of things that people have tried to shame me for that isnt that.

The shame I experience is perhaps more from talking too much about them. I am lucky my partners are patient.

I am so happy you were able to purchase something you love. Go you. May you live your best life.

 

Congrats on your first doll! My sister and I share a hobby. In the past in school, we each had students who didn’t understand our doll obsession (not bjd’s yet) but for us, this hobby seems to be full of more openminded people when it comes to adults loving dolls, we met our tribe from here, when we started going to local doll meets. I wish you the best of luck and I hope it’s fulfilling for you.

 

Congratulations on your first doll! I don't see any difference between collecting BJDs or action figures or model railroad or anything of the kind. My whole family is wargamers and RPrs. I paint miniatures for my husband and he likes to see what I do with the dolls.

There has been an increasing awareness that play is needed and valuable at all ages. How you do it is up to you.

 

I’m so glad you finally joined the Doll Reservation. We are an exciting group, very passionate, very talented, very welcoming.You have something to offer that nobody else can offer. As for men in the hobby, think Dior (incredible miniature couture and the man who established the 1/3 size), Robert Tonner, that guy who invented Barbie, the male Disney designers, Nigel Chia, etc, etc.

So. Whatcha got for us?

 

I got into BJDs as a teen in the mid 2000s, and it was the first "feminine" interest, by my parents' standards, I'd had since I was a child and they gave me a lot of grief over it. What helped me, and what helped my parents stop thinking it was a "creepy sex thing" (among other things) was going to meetups.

It was helpful for me because I got to meet and know people who shared my interests and experience the community and validation of shared fun. For my parents, it showed them that it was really just the harmless hobby activity I was trying to tell them it was. They met adult professionals who still had jobs, were still regular people, whose lives weren't "ruined" by having a doll hobby. Teachers, bank tellers, even military! (Shoutout to Elasaid Aiden from the DoA old days if you ever read this, my mom found out you were in the armed forces and suddenly BJDs were fine! )

It also may be reassuring to know that I have only been to a handful of doll meets where there WEREN'T male collectors attending, and sometimes several! That may not be the case for all communities, of course, but you might find there's way more of you close by than you expected!

 

My grandmother was strange about my dolls for a while, mostly because the men are anatomically correct. She was somehow convinced they were some kind of adult toy because of that. She doesn't even live in the same state as me so she never sees the collection. I ignore her. My parents tease me sometimes, but they also tell me that it's my money and the dolls make me happy so go for it.

 

I in general dont feel shame when im on my sofa looking at my dolls (though thinking about money i spent does make me feel weird at times) but i feel once they leave my house, i dont think it would be shame but more embarassment at times like it might look weird with an "adult playing with a doll" even though i could be taking a photos.

I remember when i got into this hobby around 15 ish years ago, my parents told me how much i was wasting my money (on them and my other hobbies like figure collecting and hello kitty stuff). i still kept my dolls and all the stuff that i wanted to but it was hard to hear from my parents about that. especially at the time too i was the only doll collector (for bjds) in my territory in canada (i thought i saw another person on here from YK at the time but never found them). but i loved sharing that with other people in person at travel meet ups and online. one of my best friends for like... 10 years is it now... have met up a few times for meet ups for cons.

my thing is now, i will sell what i want to make back whatever money i have to but i also find its up to me to keep myself happy and not care what other people think. its hard but im slowly working on it. if my dolls make me happy, who are they to say what i should do. heck they probably have hobbies i find weird too perhaps.

Do what makes you smile (found on the sanrio fb page)