Brand new start in the hobby? Advice needed...

Why can't you start a new collection while keeping your old dolls as well? Dress them up and find them a lovely spot in your home, where you can always see and admire them and value the memories you have of them, and then continue with your new collection! There is no need to get rid of the doll dolls just to start a new collection, you can have multiple collections at the same time

 

If I feel like I'm not connecting with a doll, I usually sell it. I sit on the thought for some time, though, and don't do anything sudden. But money is tight for me, so I can't aafford to keep an expensive doll that I'm not
completely in love with, and not when I could buy one that makes me happy!

 

What do you think?
I first came across BJDs when I was 14 and got my first one by 16, so to say that my taste has evolved since then should be kind of obvious for anyone who's ever been 14-16 years old. You change a lot from then and to your early 20's (which is where I'm at now). So in some ways, your feelings are natural. The fact that they were also impulse buys (of sorts) makes them perhaps more natural as impulse buys can be very hit and miss (and not just with BJDs, it happens with shoes, clothing, decorative items etc. too).

Could you ever do something like that?
Yes, I could. I can't really do it now, I feel. The dolls in question were bought in 2007 so they're almost 7 years old which means I do have a bond to them, even if it's not the strongest, and yeah, it doesn't feel right to send them away. I don't really view my dolls as family, but I do have a tendency to grow to love things more over time so while they're not (currently) the ones that I immediately want to go play with, I don't want to part with them either.

Did you ever have such feelings for a doll, that it's not the true love, and how do you handle it?
I have them for my DOC U and Kirill. It wasn't a complete impulse, but it wasn't far from it. In their case I'm currently thinking of getting them new face-ups from someone else, and hope that will strengthen the bond (which I think it will, since a lot of my issues with them is that I don't feel like their face-ups represent them). I also have a Twing-Key that I'm feeling ambivalent about. She is one of my grail dolls, she just isn't the same doll as she used to be. I can't name her anything but Evy, but the character she was supposed to be, Eveline, is not her yet my Twing-Key is definitely Evy so I guess I'm still looking for Eveline.

Do you prefer to face it or rather pretend like you're perfectly happy with them, like i used to?
A combination of both. I've faced up to the fact that U and Kirill are not "the ones", but they are very cherished none the less. Kind of like one of my first "loves" when I was younger, I didn't quite know what love was then, but at the time it seemed like the thing and I still cherish the memories. It's kind of the same with the dolls really.

And if i sell them now could it be that i'll probably miss them to death some time later?
Yes. That's always a possibility. Perhaps consider taking one doll away and putting it somewhere where you can't see it for a week. No interacting with it, no pulling it out, no interaction whatsoever. If at the end of the week you've not noticed it much or missed it, that might mean you won't miss it as much. Perhaps try a little longer if you're insecure. If you do miss him/her and find yourself looking at your group of dolls and noticing the lack of his/her presence. That might be a sign you don't want to part with them, try a bit longer and see if you get used to it or can't shake the feeling that something is missing.

Ultimately though, you won't really know until you actually go ahead and sell one of them. But you might get a better idea of what it'd be like by putting them away/placing them with a friend with STRICT orders to not let you see the doll for awhile.

 

You say they are like family to you, could you ever sell your family? If you are truely still attached to your dolls, maybe it is a good idea to try to re-bond with them. Selling something and later regretting it may be one of the worst things you can do. Definately something to think about very good before selling any of them!

 

I don't think I could ever start over. I only have two full dolls right now, one I've only had for two months. My first, my Hound, I've had since 2007, and it's been just the two of us for such a longggg time. It was weird getting my DC Agatha, because suddenly there was a third in our little party But she very quickly joined in, and now she just feels perfect and quite accepted into my daily life.

Starting over would be very hard for me, and I don't think I could ever sell/give away my Hound or Agatha. We've bonded quite well, they really were the perfect BJDs for me. They make me happy and I feel warm and inspired when I see them, just like when I first saw them online and when they first arrived home. I'm glad they've worked out so well for me, I would have felt terrible if I didn't bond with them like I have.

 

I think there's always going to be dolls you like more or less in your collection. My absolute favourite doll is one that I bonded very strongly (and very unexpectedly) with. She was an impulse buy, she was female, she was from a company that normally I don't really like. But she came home and BANG! Insta-connection.

Then I have dolls who I still love and adore and would never part with - Some who are from companies that went debunked in 2010, a lot from SOOM, one that made me loathe the company I ordered him from. Each of my dollies is a story for me - one helped me get through the grief of losing my grandfather because all of that pent up energy and sadness and helplessness went into making him look perfect; another was a reward for getting into a university; another a reward for completing uni etc. etc.

That's really at the end of the day what makes my dolls special to me - is that they have all of these memories attached. I don't think I'd be able to get rid of any of them because whether I like the actual doll more or less than other dolls, they still hold memories and pieces of my life. (Of course the memories would still be there if I sold them, but I suppose it's what they call sentimental value...)

I think, OP, that dolly collecting is such a personal thing that we happen to share with other people. I know people who buy and sell new dolls all the time, and there's people like me who have dolls sitting at home which are over 7 years old and have only had the one owner. At the end of the day, only you can tell yourself whether or not you can sell your doll. It's such a personal thing.

 

I've actually half done this(: I buy and sell a LOT in this hobby, my original collection was entirely made of boys, now I have girls and one boy. The only dolls I have now that I consider part of my original collection are my Soom Dia (my boy) and my Jina head who used to be a boy and is now a girl. If you like the sculpts you have and don't want to to sell them but are not satisfied with them either, I would try giving them new characters. This worked for the two member of my collection I just mentioned(: My Dia is still going through a transformation actually, he was complete and now he's work in progress again while I re-do him. Other than that I consider the rest of my crew to be relatively new.

Many people in this hobby seem to feel weird about buying and selling a lot but my tastes change all the time and I don't think I would fell comfortable spending upwards of $500 on a doll I would be stuck with for the rest of my life. I think being able to sell dolls I get tired of and buy new ones is exciting and it also means I get to try out a lot of sculpts until I find the perfect ones that stay with me for a long time (like my Dia ).

I also went through a serious phase of impulse buying and ended up with many dolls and even more floating heads that were not even on my wishlist. This not only made it hard to enjoy my collection, but it depleted my funds pretty fast so I understand what you are saying about being disappointment that you didn't hold out for your grails. I think in a hobby as expensive as this, it pays to be careful about what you choose to buy. I've definitely learned my lesson ^^ I'm happy with the direction my dollies are going in today and I can't wait to finish them!

It might be worth mentioning that I don't consider my dolls "my family" though. I do love my dolls very much, I give them characters and relationships and I do believe that people bond with certain sculpts over others and I can get very attached to them, however, there are still 'things' to me. I may call them my doll family and their characters might have a little family amongst themselves but they are in no way an actual part of my real family. They are just dolls to me, no matter how much I love them(:

 

What do you think? Could you ever do something like that?

I've thought about it... but I'm one of those people who have a hard time selling my dolls (some people can do this very easily--there's a whole spectrum of thoughts on this!). So, with me, it's more like the OP was feeling--That if I started NOW, things would be different. But that's true of nearly everyone. So I'm going to be happy with the dolls I have and try to buy new ones that really matter and that I will love even more, even though I still love my older dolls.

Did you ever have such feelings for a doll, that it's not the true love, and how do you handle it?

Sure! You can't love everything equally. It's like people or friends or movies or clothes... There are beings and things we like and things we like more and things we absolutely love. Because dolls are something I have some control over, and because they are expensive (not only in base cost, but in all the stuff I will get for them and time and space for them, etc.), I try very hard to really absolutely love a doll before I buy... but sometimes I'll buy on a whim or impulse or less than absolute love. I obviously still want them, though. That's OK if you can afford it and you have the space and don't mind keeping stuff around that you just like a lot instead of absolutely love, of course. And you can always sell if you wish (although that's hard for people like me... although I know I could sell them if push came to shove).

Do you prefer to face it or rather pretend like you're perfectly happy with them, like i used to?

I'm not pretending to like my other dolls. I still like and often love them... a lot. But I also love my newer dolls. I am sometimes a little sad that I don't love some of my dolls as much as others or as much as I once did, but I figure that's just life. For me, I will keep them, because I still love them. For another person, they will be sold to make room and have money to go on to other dolls that they really love whole-heartedly.

And if i sell them now could it be that i'll probably miss them to death some time later?
Some people will experience that, others will not (or not so badly, anyway). I feel like I will miss my dolls if I sell them, but I also know that I could get over it. I just don't need the money that badly at the moment (there are lots of other things I can sell before my dolls), so it's not an issue. But it's something to consider when selling. Just think about it and if there are more reasons to sell than not, then just go for it and try not to look back. Most people who sell to buy new dolls have decided that they want the new doll more than they feel they will miss the old one.

 

I think if they aren't getting the love and attention from you, you should sell them and put the money into your grail. The feelings are completely understandable! You were a young collector, and now you want your doll family to reflect your adult self. Keeping your favorite and building the rest of your family around them is a fantastic idea. That way you still have a piece of your roots, and lots of room to grow! All the best, whatever you decide

 

Maybe don't sell THEM ALL right away. Sell the one or two you could do without first
Then once you start to see dolls you need available, sell the other ones so funds become available

 

What do you think? Could you ever do something like that?

No. I thought about it before, I thought it many times. I often said "I want a smaller collection" and "my collection is way too varied". A lot of things have frustrated me, like how I seem to enjoy playing with some of my dolls more than others while I want to give them all equal attention and how I can never seem to get an outfit all of them can share due to being so varied in gender, sizes and style. But honestly? At the end of day I could never let them go. I once thought of selling my minifee Shushu since I wanted to let go of the body anyway and needed the extra money. She's just a basic head still in her company faceup (though I plan to redo it) but I almost cried when taking pictures of her and only let go of her body in the end. Sure, if I started my collection over I would probably do some things differently but I don't think any of my choices have been wrong so far... I just keep trying to do my best and picking only dolls I honestly love to bring into the family...

Did you ever have such feelings for a doll, that it's not the true love, and how do you handle it?

I'm not exactly sure but I'm going to go with yes, and let me explain. I'm one of those people who pick dolls to represent characters. As long as the sculpt is fitting I don't have any problem at all with acquiring them to shell my character in them. So there have definitely been dolls that although I liked I wasn't irreversibly in love with. On the other hand I'm also one of those people that like all the dolls. I'm not even kidding, I find it very hard to dislike a mold and there are very few that make me immediately scroll past them for whichever reason. So even if it's a doll I wasn't absolutely in love with, it's definitely a doll I can learn how to love in the long run instead. Try to see everything that's positive about that sculpt, what you like best, how can you work around what you don't like... and give it time. If it's meant to be it will always find a way to work out in the end.

Do you prefer to face it or rather pretend like you're perfectly happy with them, like i used to?

I don't pretend to like my dolls. I am genuinely, perfectly happy with them. Both the older ones, the ones I bought on a whim, as well as the most special "grail-status" dolls I have. It's not just their faces but also the "journey" we've been through. The face-ups, the different wigs, the clothes, figuring out their personality, working around quirks and problems. It's the time, and love and enjoyment I've invested in them that makes them so special. I often feel sad that I don't love some of them enough not to say "I wish I could sell x" when I need money or want something new too, but it can't really be helped. What's important, in my opinion, is that at the end of the day they're still here, I haven't sold them, because at the bottom of it all I still love them and they're my dolls and nobody else's.

And if i sell them now could it be that i'll probably miss them to death some time later?
I know I would miss them. I miss them terribly even without selling them, when I've been away from home for a while, or when they're put away due to being mere floating heads... So I don't think I ever could. Of course I could eventually get over parting with them if I absolutely had to, but I also feel that I would still be bitter about it even years after the sale... Of course that's just me. I've seen people in the hobby very easily part with even their most beloved dolls just to acquire the next doll they want to have so it depends on the person.

 

I've thought about doing this too, and although I do think I could part with my dolls and eventually not regret it (since they are dolls, and if I truly wanted to I could find them again, even if I did sell them), I've decided not to. At this point I've decided to just be very picky at what dolls I buy from this point on.
I've decided to continue with my current collection but just be very picky at what I add to it.

 

Yes, have multiple collections. I never give up dolls I still love even if I have moved on to something else. They All hold memories for me and regardless of their monetary value, I value them. The largest room in my house is my doll collection and this works for me. Others may not want to commit that much space. very individual!! Let us know what u decide to do.

 

I've done this actually. It seems hard at first, but letting go can be a refreshing process, and I'm much happier with my current dolls than I ever was before. It's hard to explain, but there's something freeing about just starting over knowing exactly what you want from the hobby and severing those 'bonds' that can actually hold you back creatively.

 

What do you think?

I know how you feel pretty well, and I also think it's not an easy decision to make.
Maybe undress them and box them up for a while, pretending they aren't there.
It worked for me pretty well several times and often made me realize that as soon as I couldn't see them anymore I actually stopped caring too.
Out of sight, out of mind.
And I think if you've reached that state of "if I don't see them I actually forget I own them" it's a clear sign that you can and maybe should sell them.


Could you ever do something like that? Did you ever have such feelings for a doll, that it's not the true love, and how do you handle it?

Yes, I could and yes, I did.
I had a few dolls that I liked, be it because there was some emotional attachment to it in form of fond memories ("He's my first", "A friend of mine owns his twin sister", "My friends helped me getting him") or because I really liked the character of the doll.
However, in the end all of these dolls were just not my taste, be it because of the size or because the shell didn't fit the character it was intended for anymore.
I had a few I sometimes miss a tiny bit, but so far I don't regret selling them at all. It was for the best.

However, I also have two dolls that are just here because I needed them to complete a family.
I like them, but without their character/role they wouldn't be here and I'd actually had no problem selling them.
I just lack this emotional attachment to them, even though they are pretty and perfect for the characters I had in mind.

The only doll I stopped actively using and couldn't sell was the head of my first doll.
He was a gift from my father and while I stopped using it for the character he was planned to be I still own it. It's just wrapped in a box and tucked away into my doll closet.

Do you prefer to face it or rather pretend like you're perfectly happy with them, like i used to?

I usually prefer to face it and sell the doll, at least when it's not an important one.
If it's important for a character I like I usually try to modify it, hoping it might spark up the old love again in me, and if that doesn't work I re-shell the character with a new doll.

However, I still must admit that the thought of starting new seems very tempting once in a while.
Get rid of the old stuff and start new with all the experience you've gathered the last years, get in fresh and exciting dolls, try out something new. I know that a few of my dolls wouldn't be here if I had started the hobby just recently, some had been bought because there was just no better option, and I'm curious how my collection would look like nowadays.
What kind of dolls would I get? Maybe I'd be more of a revolving door and constantly buy and sell dolls?
Less emotional attachment etc.; it sounds awesome but I know I couldn't do it, especially since I just finished a major project that took me years of collecting.

And if i sell them now could it be that i'll probably miss them to death some time later?

Yes, that could happen. Maybe not immediately, maybe you look at photos a year or more later and suddenly regret it, you'll never know if you won't try it though.
Maybe sell only their bodies, wipe their faces and keep the heads in a closet? If you ever get the urge again to own them it should be easy to put them together again.

 

oooooh! I so feel you! I want to do this too. It's hard because I do care about the dolls I have, but I wouldn't be completely heart broken if I sold two or three of my large crew. I know I can't sell them >.< I'm too attached but I have moments where I want to, where I just want to sell and maybe keep three. Then I start thinking and looking at them and I just can't, always finding a reason to keep them. Plus their so old I feel like no one would want them anyways.