Buyers Remorse!!!! HELP!!!

This happens to me everytime I'm buying a doll. Even the few grail dolls I was looking for (including one that took me over 4 years to find). I think it's because all of a sudden you're about to spend a lot of money on something you haven't seen yet, only pictures. And of course it IS a lot of money and of course you COULD spend it on something else. But you don't want something else, you've wanted to save up for this doll.

My question is: before you had the money, how excited were you about the prospect of owning that Ryu? Think about that and how anxious you were to get enough money for him. Then, go to the website, click that 'buy it now' button, without thinking about it; write up the address form and sent the money. Only when you've done all that, are you allowed to breathe again .

Acknowledge your fears and understand where they come from. But don't listen to them. Don't listen to your brother and all the voices in your head saying you don't deserve to get something expensive like this, and you are 'stupid' for even spending so much. They are wrong. You absolutely deserve to purchase this doll; heck it took you months to save up for him!

Now go get him.

 

happens to me every time! I am a householder and a parent, and there are a lot of bills for me to pay (although thankfully no car bills as I too am afraid to drive!) My critics being my 20yr old son and my ex-husband - I just look at how much THEY spend on THEIR hobbies over the years, and really it's a drop in the ocean compared to the cost of a doll.

Also, if you look after a doll, keep it out of direct sunshine (diffuse or indirect sunlight from a window is fine) keep it clean when you handle it by washing your hands, dress it in non-staining clothes, etc. Well it has resale value of not much less than what you paid. So long as you're not in a hurry for the money, you can wait for a buyer to meet your price (may have to sell it lower otherwise).

Compared to the resale value of my son's video games and bashed to bits gadgets and computers, I think my dolls are a good investment! But yes I still get guilt and anxiety if I buy another

 

Do what makes you happy.
If you want the doll buy it. Trying to justify it to someone, especially yourself is a sure sign you will regret it.
We all crave things we can't have. Learning to drive is essential for you to get around. If you can drive, think of all the doll meets you will be able to attend. It will be easier to drive to work and you will have so many more opportunities.
But also re member you only live once. Life is short.
You can always save up again and learn to drive later. But they do say the younger you are the easier it is!

 

Do you have to buy him right now? If not, maybe sit on the decision for a while...I am WAY past being 19years old (!) but yes, I would think it is a lot of money at this stage of your life/work. It seems your therapist was helpful re. your fear of a job, so she may be able to help you with this decision? Or maybe you have fallen a bit out of love with Ryu while you were saving (it happens sometimes :/)? Is there any other doll that is less money that would also make you happy? Just some ideas, good luck & let us know how you go

 

This happens to me every time I buy a doll!

Before parting with my money, I ask myself the following questions:-

1. Can I afford the doll? If I have to go hungry or without, get into debt or leave bills unpaid to buy the doll, then I let the doll go. Real life comes first.

2. If I sell the doll for any reason in the future, will I mind that I am unlikely to recoup what I originally paid for it?

3. Will I be too scared to play with and enjoy the doll because of its price or for fear of ridicule, loss, causing damage, yellowing, etc?

If none of the above are an issue for me, then I will buy the doll, otherwise I will tell myself that my money would be better spent elsewhere. Dolls are supposed to be fun. If there is no fun to be had, then no doll for me.

If you do decide to buy Migidoll Ryu, you could make / sell clothes, jewellery, wigs, etc. specifically for his body type and have him model them. That way, he earns his keep!

 

Try not to take your brother's comment to heart - he might have a point if he were talking about mass-produced vinyl dolls. Maybe. If you ignore customs and collectors' items. But for a hand-cast, highly articulated resin doll (with hand-painted face-up if you pay for one, and hand-made clothes if you buy a default outfit), $30 is a literally insulting price. Like, clearly-out-of-touch-with-reality laughably wrong. BJDs are very reasonably priced when you consider the artistic work that goes into them, and there's nothing irresponsible about wanting to own a piece of artwork.

Would your brother scoff as much if you were buying a wonderful original painting? Or if you were buying a hand-made tailored outfit? Or is his mocking coming from a place of either not understanding the value of artist-made works, or a childish 'dolls are for girls, and girly things are worthless' viewpoint? And if it's either one, how much of the problem is with him and his opinions, rather than you and the choices you're making?

 

I remembered back in college, it's a big issue to buy anything over USD300 because that funding can help me to pay a lot of things for my college education. It took me sometime to think about it and so I save up a little bit more to secure myself. So it has solved part of my insecurity issue in financial terms. I bought my first doll after that and it gave me even more joy to buy it

 

Do ignore your brother's opinion. For anyone who is not in a hobby, spending a great deal of money on something seems pointless, whether it's bjds or instruments or porcelain teakettles. What matters is whether buying the doll will make you happy, as you are the person who is going to actually be spending the money on the doll.

 

No matter how much is sitting in the bank I always feel anxious buying a doll. They're a lot of money, I tend to remind myself though that I really like my dolls. They're one of my very few if not only "avid" hobby and they generally retain most to all of their resale value which helps make it a little easier to swallow.

Having owned a couple Ryus, customized a few more and one hanging out in our shop's inventory right now I can definitely attest they are a beautiful doll. Migi puts a lot of care and hard work into her sculpts and they really are even more beautiful in person, if you have any questions about the Migi boys I'd be more than happy to answer them in a PM. I think if you can ignore your brother's comment (You can't even get a lot of mass produced dolls and figures at a lower than $30 price tag these days!) and truly are in a financial situation where spending the money won't be a detriment to you, then all you need to do is worry about whether or not you'll be happy with him. You live at home and have a steady paycheque as you said yourself, you'll have money to save in the future for other things you want. So just worry about if you really want him our not.

 

I think it's just because it's a large sum of money.
I personally find buying dolls a scary thing to do sometimes. The moment when I pay for the doll, it's slightly scary for me.

I now only buy second handed dolls to ensure, if I really can't bond to my doll, I can still re-sell it without loosing much.
So it's less scary when I think it this way.

 

I don't know anything about the doll you are planning on buying, however I would think that you do have time to give your impending purchase some serious thought. For the most part I try to do that with anything that I buy. I try to think of things, especially expensive things, as, "The cost of the object = how many hours of my life offered up to working to pay for it." Then I think, "Is it worth it?"

From what you've said, it sounds like you have given this thought. And seeking advice is good, however, in the end the decision is yours. It would not hurt to talk with your parents/ family, and the lady who is helping you. (I would also add that you need to make sure you are buying from the company or a reputable dealer. You should also make sure you understand the wait time for the doll and/ or any costs for shipping/ or fees.)

 

Yeah, I always have that feeling. Saving up for months and planning it is super exciting but then when the moment is there to pay like 500$ in one go I always sit down and have a little silent thinking minute to make sure I'm still comfortable with it. Don't listen to your brother, mostly when people say these type of things they've no idea that bjds are not just toys...(besides a lot of collectors spend hundreds on figurines, not every one spends a max of 30 bucks on some crappy chinese naruto figure, no offence, a lot of my collector figurines were 100$+ easily)
You have to do what feels right for you

 

Even if I have enough to completely pay for the doll, and know I really want it, it's still makes me nervous to push the "buy" button. I worry that I should save every penny I have because of how I grew up. My mother was very much against any form of self-indulgence and didn't see the point in purchasing an item that didn't perform some kind of function. She refers to my BJDs and 'childish' and in response to me being excited about an incoming BJD a couple weeks ago, she said "I'm excited to play with my new crayons too!". I was shocked by her response because she usually isn't that mean, but I brushed it off because her opinion shouldn't matter. The only purpose of having a BJD is that they make me happy, and I've learned that if people don't understand that, it's not worth arguing over it. My dad and fiancé are supportive of my hobby and I appreciate that. I won't let anyone make me feel bad about purchasing a BJD when I'm very responsible with my money and work very, VERY hard for what I have!

 

You shouldn't listen to your brother. After I had saved up for my first doll, I didn't tell anyone about him until a week before he got home. I wanted to make sure that I wanted him without my family telling me that I could spend my money on something else. If you really want the doll, you should buy it. Don't let others tell you what you can and cannot have (that is if you're in a financially stable position and that it's not going to harm you or anyone else). That's the end of my ramble and good luck with your decision.