Buying obsession

I would say that obsession is when every waking and sleeping moment of your life is dictated by this hobby. If you can't work or eat or do other things because you are completely absorbed in this hobby, then it is an obsession and needs to be rectified.

It does not sound like that's you.

What you described is the buying-high or the buying-rush. The idea of purchasing something that suddenly becomes yours is the moment of greatest enjoyment.

What I suggest you do is plan out when your next purchase will be (write it on a calendar or something) and do not buy any other doll until that point. It will force you to wait and force you to focus and not rush into something. I think you don't feel attached to the doll after you get it is because you are always looking for the next thing as opposed to what you have. It happens a lot in this hobby.

If I were in your situation, I would stop looking to buy new dolls until I've had time to bond (or not bond) with the dolls I have. Spend time with the dolls, dress them, make them pretty, pose them, and really get a feel for them. I might even stay away from the sections of this website that show new dolls and things so I won't get tempted.

You can look at other owner photos of the dolls you have for ideas and inspirations. Focus on what you have and what you like about them. What was it that made you get those dolls? If you're into it, you can create a backstory or personality for each doll and figure out how style and attitude is affected by those ideas. Firmly place in your mind that you cannot buy another doll. You have to believe it. Eventually, your focus will shift and you (hopefully) won't feel that need to keep buying dolls you won't play with.

Good luck to you!

 

I'd say that obsession is when you are spending money you need for other things on dolls and doll supplies. As long as you aren't going without food, or clothes, or water/heat/electricity/rent, and your taxes are being paid, you are free to spend any extra money on things of your choice.

The fact that you want more than one doll is normal. The fact that you are buying other dolls before your second doll even arrives home is normal... the long wait times while the dolls are made gives a lot of time to research new dolls.

What with the limited events these companies have, saying "I won't buy another doll until <date>" can prevent you from buying a limited doll that you really want if the date you set is outside that doll's ordering period. I personally don't set dates to wait for to order a doll, but I won't order one unless I am certain I know what I will do with it. Dolls that make me go "oooo it's pretty.... but I am not sure what I'd do with it if I got it...." go in the "not for me" category, unless I can think of something to do with them in the future. I also have a "watch this company, see if they release that sculpt again in a different resin color" list, for dolls that I can think of something I'd do with them, if they were a different resin color. This way, I avoid impulse "that's shiny!" purchases, and I don't lose interest in them after I buy them, because I have a character, which I am attached to, to wait for, rather than just a shiny piece of resin.

I think perhaps you should try to explain to your boyfriend that these dolls are a form of creative expression. It's hard to say you're done collecting them, because you might see another doll which inspires you.

 

I just want to clarify: The setting a date thing is once you find a doll you really like, not a limited one that just pops up (not just a date, it can also be a rough time area, like after getting a raise or promotion). The point of setting a date is to make sure that it is a doll you really like and not just an impulse buy. It also gives time for research into owner photos and things. Limiteds are another thing. Setting a date for a limited won't work unless the limited is during a time period (say a month or so).

I think the big point of the OP is not bonding with a doll after he/she finally gets it (or what to do while waiting for the doll to arrive). That's why leaving time in-between ordering another doll helps. It gives you time to explore the dolls you have.

 

Ive been through this...because I get bored of waiting for a doll Ive ordered so Ill lookbon ebay or here in MP for a second hand doll that will arrive faster so Ihave something to do. It also seems that Ill bond with and love one doll for a month or so after having them but after taking pictures of them and doing what I wanted with them, I lose interest and find another to move to. There are ver few of my original crew that have stayed with me. Most have been sold or traded.

I think a lot has to do with the longer you are in this hobby, the more your taste and ideas change. Companies I was once in love with, I have no interest in anymore because I found a different company.

I think it is just part of human nature... we all change as we grow and get older...luckily, this is a hobby that can fully accommodate those changes due to how customizable these dolls are and how many companies and artists there are creating these beautiful dolls.

I found my one girl has been able to stay with me so long because every few months she gets a new faceup. It changes with how her personality changes and so I have yet to lose interest in her.

New faceups, eyes, wigs, or clothes can seriously change how you feel about a doll so my suggestion to you would be to play around with your dolls...a lot. Change their look up and it can help with bonding.

Of course sometimes nothing you do works becauae you just cant bond to the doll.

Ive also found putting a doll away for a few months and then reopening and playing with them can rekindle your love and help bond.

Good luck

 

You are me are similar in how the BJD hobby took over our lives. When I started, it was very similar to your situation, so I get how you feel. The dolls helped a lot in taking my mind off things and giving me a creative output. Just give it some time and you'll sink into the hobby in a less-obsessed way (as in, you'll find yourself), and things will right themselves.

Finally getting ahold of your new dollies will be the greatest beginning to this adventure. Once they come home, you'll find yourself trying all kinds of things with them. Just you wait.

About the pukifee, if you wait until around Christmas time, there are always special events at companies to celebrate. You'll get extra goodies and things with your order, so if you can wait until then, that will be even better.

Welcome to the hobby, pace yourself, and get ready for the loveliest of times!

 

I understand the excitement thing, when I first got into dolls I pretty much bought two at once (one limited, one standard) and gushed over them when they arrived...but due to lack of space they basically spent four years packed away. When I got them out I started looking at dolls again...and in the space of a few months I got three more.
Thing is, it's so easy to get really excited, but I now like just looking at and planning dolls and that's enough for me until I have the funds. All I suggest is enjoy the dolls you have as much as you can, then start thinking about others, or you'll end up neck-deep in dolls and out of pocket

 

At what point can you class your hobby as an obsession?
If you find you are ignoring important things in favor of looking at bjds, and this becomes a problem-- you might want to step back a bit!

I'm pretty obsessed, but I try not to let it get in the way of real life and things I need to do!

How many is too many doll wise?
This is up to the individual. But again, if you have so many that you feel overwhelmed, that you are not actually playing with them but they are stacked in boxes, if they aren't actually doing you any good --but you have having them just to have them and it's not enjoyable having them... maybe you've got too many. Some people prefer only ONE. Others are fine with 50. It's really all about how a person feels about their number of dolls--and this can change over time!

Does anyone else sometimes feel that process of picking and ordering a doll can be better then getting the doll itself?
NO. I mean--it IS a rush! You see a doll that you can envision as a character or something wonderful... it's exciting. But if you only like the buying process and not the doll... that means you're not really as into the dolls as much as the hunt... This is OK if you know that, and then go and sell your dolls so they just don't pile up without making you happy... and you should know that you will usually will be spending time and money and not making it all back by selling... so you have to be careful.

It sounds as if the OP is totally caught up in the buying rush. That can lead to frustration and lots of money and time spent that one might not be able to afford... and no happy ending!

Anyone got any tips on how to stop this crazy buying and turn it to actually caring for the dolls I already have?
Well, you just have to really know yourself and then put some restrictions on the crazy buying-then-boredom cycle. There have been lots of good suggestions for that here. It's not as fun to try and put the brakes on all the buying-rush, or to stop and do some self-reflection, but unless you want to keep doing the same thing over and over again, something has to change, right?

Lots of people try to make sure they focus on the doll they have--like finish it and play with it, before looking to buy another. This doesn't always work... there maybe be a limited that comes along that you know you NEED... but it's a good policy to help slow down the focus ONLY on the buying and not the doll itself.

Maybe you (the OP and others who might be in the same boat) have to just tell yourself that you might not really want the dolls that you THINK you do. That it might just be that buying-rush ONLY. That means you need to try and figure out if you REALLY want the doll itself. That's difficult to know, but life is a big learning experience and if you don't learn and change, you won't be as happy as you could be... It just has to be done! So maybe slow down a bit until you start to really figure things out! You already know there's a problem, so it's no good to keep doing the same thing over and over again, right?

Remember, we are spending so much time and money because this is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. If the hunt is all you want, then keep hunting--but if you're unhappy with the results, then you need to try and change the behavior. And it doesn't matter how many dolls--one or a hundred, as long as you are happy and as long as your life is still balanced between having fun and getting things done that are necessary before doing all the fun stuff. The fun is like dessert--it needs to be after your meal and not eaten so much you get unhealthy!

[I am terrible at following all this advice, myself... but I DO enjoy my dolls more than the hunt... but the hunt IS fun. I need to try hard not to let it be EVERYTHING that I do!]

 

I ordered my first bjd just over a year ago, and am now officially obsessed! I spend ALL my money on dolls - and as little as possible on food and other stuff. But as far as I'm concerned it's a good obsession - it makes me happy, takes my mind of life's problems, and is certainly a better way of doing so than getting drunk, as I used to do.

My dolls fill an emotional need in me. They aren't a particularly creative hobby, although I enjoy sewing for them now I've finally figured out how to make patterns. They ARE creative in that I create characters in my mind for them, name them, daydream about them, think how to dress them etc. But once dressed they are done - I just put them on a shelf and gaze at them. But looking at them makes me so happy - they are like the ideal children and family I never had - I guess they are a bit like pets, but less work and less worry than either pets or people, which have both caused me a lot of grief in life. I can't have too many really as each doll represents something different to me - they all have a different type of personality or style - I need them all, and having just one or 2 would be very frustrating for me.

So my dolls fill that emotional hole, and I don't think that's wrong at all, although I am aware that other people would judge me badly for it. If my son starts criticising me over it I just remind him that it's a harmless addiction compared to alcohol, it makes me happy (and he benefits from me being happy!) and compared to what he spends on video games, gadgets, clothes etc. it's not a lot more!

Your boyfriend should be glad it's dolls you want and not babies - just remind him of that and he'll soon realise he's lucky!

 

Ahhh, you are forgetting about the new arrival rush! Yes there is a rush when you order, but the wait is gruelling and by the time the dolls arrive it's such a long time since you ordered and paid it's almost like christmas has come! There will be so many things to plan and think about when your new girls arrive, you'll be really excited I'm sure. I always get so excited when I know my doll has shipped!
If you can hold off ordering your next doll then give it a try, I've managed to turn down several limiteds that I was waiting for just because i had enough time to clear my mind and ask myself if I could really live without them. If your next doll isn't a limited, I'd wait as long as you can since it gives you a chance for your new girls to arrive and you can see how a tiny might fit in with the others, it'll also give you a chance to check it's really what you want and just in case a limited comes along that you really really need!
When it comes to obsession, I think it's whenever you think about it so much that it gets in the way of the other parts of your life, for example I get about half as much sleep as I used to. I know I'm obsessed, but I am the sort of person who gets fixated with things so I know how to recognise and deal with my obsessions. (I mostly find it's important to slow myself down and make myself wait and think about things, it means terrible nights of worry and obsessing but I usually realise I was right not to act on my impulses and something different comes along.)
Lastly, I also use dolls as an emotional supplement. For me they help me to have something perfectly naive and unspoilt that is special just for me, no matter what things in the outside world might scare me and no matter what terrible things real people might do, my dolls will always be safe and innocent because I feel like I can keep them safe. (Maybe a bit weird, but most of us have our quirks and it helps me somewhat.)
I don't drink/smoke/drive/have a nightlife etc etc so I figure as long as I keep my self from drowning in dolls, they can be my guilty pleasure.

 

Everyone has a thing they just love..and yours is a lot less harmless than drinking or durgs, but even buying dolls can become a problem if it makes your life unmanageable. For me, that's the test of whether a new hobby is a good or a bad thing in my life. Does it enhance my life, or detract from it? If I have begin to have trouble making my mortgage payment, if I have to worry about getting the lights cut off because I didn't pay the electric bill, or even if I no longer have a prudent reserve in my savings account due to my hobby spending, I need to cut back or even stop that hobby.

As for me, I bought many dolls the first two years I began BJD collecting. I really wanted to have at least one couple, an MSD man and woman, and at least one each YoSD boy and girl, and I also really wanted a pukipuki pong and a green tiny. I got all that, and a vampire-mermaid doll that was a Christmas gift. Then, I just really wanted to have a DZ Shoyo, but that was on the back burner until one popped up in the marketplace at a good price, so I got her then rather than waiting. And then, right at Christmas, Junkyspot had a huge sale. I couldn't resist a full-set Megi. He is so cute, and I love his outfit so much. At about half-price, I could not resist. So yeah, for me, having set buying dates is hard to stick to.
I haven't bought any dolls since Christmas because I decided I would stop buying until I got each of their looks together exactly the way I want them. So I'm making clothing and buying some, too. Everyone is getting their permanent "hair," too.

Here's how I bond with my dolls: I choose a "doll of the week." That doll goes with me to work that week (in my briefcase, wrapped nicely) and rides around town with me, too. I usually make him/her something that week, like a new hat or bag, or buy them something. I really like having a doll with me, and it helps me feel connected/bonded with my dolls, too. This is Shoyo's week. I have never given her a permanent name, because she just looks like a Shoyo. Nothing else seems to stick. Right now, she's sitting on my desk, topless, while I make a crocheted thread top (I have to keep trying it on to get the cups size exactly right.

 

I am obsessed with collecting. Doesn't matter what. It's whatever i am obsessed with at the moment. And at the moment it is BJDs. I have near 200 BJDs and more accessories then i can remember. 98% of them are still in their boxes. I do not play with them or display them because i have no room to do so. I do find it more exciting when i make the purchase or find a wish list doll i've been wanting. When i receive the package, sometimes i don't even open them until later in the night or even the next day. It's like, i already know what's in the box and i already waited over 5 months so no rush.

I love each of my dolls dearly and i don't resell unless there is another doll i absolutely want and cannot sell any of my non-BJD related items to make funds. Still, i am afraid i would regret if i let any of my dolls go. But i am truly obsessed with buying and acquiring. It's like, i want more, i need more. I am right now waiting on 17 new dolls. Including 5 tan dolls from FairyLand. I have 6 layaway orders going on right now and am thinking of starting another (which i can't even afford). It may sound bad however i am not wasting money that i need for the family. I am a stay at home mom. My husband provide for the family. I funds my own collection through selling through ebay. I sell my old collection to fund my new. My old collection was Asian fashion dolls which i collected for over 15 years. Hundreds and hundreds of vinyl dolls still all in boxes as again, i enjoy the acquiring part more.

I will continue to collect. I have no limit on how many will join my dolly family. As long as i am interested, more will be ordered. Hopefully one day when i have a larger house and more room, i will be able to take more out of their boxes.