did it take time for you to adjust to the hobby?

I've experienced the same as you when I began to collect and do research about BJD 5 years ago. I was so shy to tell people around me that I was interested in BJD and wanted to start this hobby, was afraid that my friends and parents would say that it wasted money, etc... But in the end, I decided to get my first doll last year with my own money and no one complained at me at all. Now I enjoy this hobby very much and have met many nice people from community. I guess I'm more than satisfied!

 

Oh god, yes. I joined DOA back in 2012 and this is only my... 20-something post. Especially looking at all the negativity in the hobby, it's kind of horrifying interacting with people sometimes. Luckily, my state has a wonderful local group that is pretty small and very kind. That helped me to open up a little more, but posting in big forums or even bigger groups is still horrifying to me. It gets easier once you know a few people you can talk to and get a good feel for safe groups to post in! If it makes you feel any better, the last few days I've spent mass-posting, I've seen almost nothing but kind comments. I'm sure you'll find some really sweet people that you can bond with!

If you're really scared, try looking at your local group. Mention that you're a little shy and would like some people to talk to. After that, it's really just hit-or-miss depending on who sees your posts and who can respond. Try not to ever feel ignored in the group settings, it takes a while for people to get to know each other. If you're lucky, you'll click really well with someone! I only have a few specific people that I feel bonded with in the community, and that's okay too! If you feel comfortable talking to a group but don't bond one-on-one with anyone, just give it some time.

Good luck sweety!

 

Hmm, I didn't really have this trouble when I first started but for a long time after, I made no assumptions about anything and pretty much started any conversations with "I'm inexperienced-" or "I'm new to the hobby-" and such but say my thoughts anyway so that if I made a mistake or misunderstood something, someone would know to correct or teach me so I could learn more. So a tip in my experience would be if you feel uncomfortable, let people know you're new! Everyone was new to the hobby once. It'll get easier.

 

Nope. Dove in head first. Made mistakes, learned from them and moved on. Having a blast!

First advice I have to give it do not apologize for liking what you do. I am 60 years old, in a small southern city where I know of no one else who collects bjds least of all another senior citizen like me. But there are artists and other interesting people out and about who stop and ask me about them. Through my dolls I made friends with a fabulous belly dance and a female metal artist and a couple of film studies students. They don't judge me and I don't judge them We just enjoy each other's hobbies and art forms. Some people give me weird looks when I have my dolls out. I don't care. They don't sign my paycheck or pay my bills. You will know who you can be friends with in this hobby and who you can avoid. Always ALWAYS be yourself and have fun. If it is not fun then it is not for you.

 

It can be a tough crowd. Whether on the forums or at local meets I've found there to be cliques, which will do their best to make you feel unwelcome even to the point of running you out completely. This HAS been my own experience so I don't mind giving my honest opinion. However, there ARE people both on forums and at local meets that are worth conversing with and will help you feel at home in the hobby. It's just a matter of finding them and knowing whom to ignore. There were several times over the years when I thought to sell all my dolls and leave the hobby completely because of being treated impolitely. But I had to realize I wasn't in this for them! I get my own joy out of my dolls. I had to find my own comfort zone within it. I have dolls of all sizes and I love them all, but I've found, for ME, the most comfortable place in the community is tiny dolls. Tiny doll owners are less biased, imo, and tiny dolls are just easier to store, display, transport, and get outdoor photo shoots of without attracting too much attention. I don't bother sharing my larger dolls or trying to join the discussion threads for large or medium sized dolls, I just don't fit in. I can walk away feeling bad or I can just stick to where I'm comfortable.
I say, don't worry about it. We all find our place here. Give it some time. It took me a few years!

 

I collect other types of dolls and is always hard breaking into a new crowd of collectors, it's true. But I have found if you ask questions, show interest, are genuine, most people will respond positively. It takes a while for anyone to feel at home, shy or not, but it won't get better unless you put yourself out there.

The first few times I post anywhere (doll forums, photography forums, dog forums, whatever, they're all the same! ) no one pays any attention to you for a while. They have their own friends and their own conversations going. But post anyway, express interest, and in time you too will look familiar, and will get involved in the conversation.

 

oh god. I'm still trying to get comfortable even after a whole year.

 

lostkitten too bad you're on the other side of the state LOL I too am an old ~er~, I mean experienced female - I've been on DoA since 2011 but a total geek forever LOL Yes, dizii? don't mind what others think - just plunge right in & enjoy LOL

 

Hey, it's like that in every new hobby ^^. Larp, dogs, it's all the same. There are people that will be rude: disregard them, you don't need them. But there are also nice and helpful people. I've found myself on both side of the barricade in my last two hobbies and I can say: the good people sticks around, you can built great friendships or at least a sense of togetherness that is always nice to have. So, don't give up, we'll make friends in this world too ^^.

 

Go out and meet BJD people, be shy but they will drag you out of your shell quickly, they understand and know what your talking about.
Others that may razz you, phfft, they probably have strange hobbies or look funny in their underwear. Don't let them get to you.

Be happy within yourself because we and the dollies need you.

 

I too am trying to find my comfort zone within this realm. Hoping it won't take tooooooo long!

 

As soon as I bought my girl, I felt at home in the hobby. However, I am feeling a little too comfortable. I just ordered a new doll and 255$ in new clothes from them.

 

When I first started I wanted to meet local doll owners and ask doll related questions and share our hobbies together i really was shy at the beginning but now I'm very confident about it

 

Well if you go by post count vs how long I've been here, it's probably fairly obvious that I don't feel all that comfortable being part of the community. It's not because I don't think people are welcoming or rude, on the contrary everyone here seems wonderful and willing to help - but I feel a bit like an outsider as my interest is purely recreational and not serious. . That is to say i dont really follow any companies or understand much other than what directly interests me - so I feel like a bit of a permanent newbie, honestly ! As far as "real life" goes I really don't feel comfortable sharing anything about them to anybody that isn't already interested or has shown an interest prior. I'm not sure why. Ah well, I've been making an effort lately !

 

I'm new and sadly the only doll I have is off-topic. I like him though... I am part of a local doll group in my area, however I still haven't found a friend can be very comfortable with. I guess things will change. XD

 

I was lucky I guess, because I was already into fashion dolls and knew a group of doll people before I started acquiring BJDs. Eventually a few of us started going completely toward BJDs, then I met more BJD people on other forums and in person. Some of my BJD friends have come and gone, or have changed which types of BJDs they collect, but there is still a group of people I've known in person since 2006, and many of us are still good friends.

I would like to say... I know it's probably typical to feel left out of "cliques", but keep in mind that they may just be people who have known each other for a long time, and they may be just as uncomfortable meeting new people as you are. And it's easier for them to talk to people they know rather than strangers. We all have something in common, our love of BJDs... so there is always something for us to talk about to each other. Someone just has to take the first step and introduce themselves.

So if you see someone holding a doll you'd be interested in, just step up and say hi, may I see your doll? If someone is selling something you'd like to see, step up, have a closer look and say a few complimentary words. A friendship or discovery of something else in common may come just from that!

Linda S.
galatia9

 

It is taking me time since i am a male!! lol I slowly get out of comfort zone

 

Darien Akando, can I say that I love your profile image and I smiled when I saw your location? . Sailor Moon aficionada - 30years old - PRESENT .

 

@Teleri Yep! I bet we could have fun meeting up with our dollies! Experienced eh? I like that a whole lot better than old! OMG and you have a TREK uniform in your avatar!!! I am a Trekker too!!!!!!!!!!