Discovering the Price...

Ah, I know what you mean. I really don't have any friends who are doll collectors, other than my mom, and all my other friends think I'm nuts - especially when they see the prices! I usually explain it this way: I don't drive, so I save on gas, insurance, upkeep, etc... I have health problems which force me to stay home most of the time, so I don't spend money on trips very often, I hardly ever eat out because I'm on a special diet. On the other hand you (my friends) waste gas driving all over the place, even when it's not that far away. You constantly eat out, which is very expensive. You take expensive trips once or twice a year. I can't do any of these things (or I choose not to). So If I want to take some of my money and spend it on something that I can enjoy in my home, what's it to you? I enjoy my dolls just as much as you enjoy your vacations, but my dolls last longer. Plus, they are an excellent creative outlet, and I meet lots of nice people through this hobby. ^_^

After pointing out all of the "unnecessary" ways that my friends spend their money, they tend to leave me alone :P lol

 

Luckily, most of my friends either have dolls themselves, are planning for one at some point, or generally accept that it's my money to do what I want with.

And that's exactly what it is. You are spending your money on what you want most. And that is most pleasing, isn't it? Dolls are expensive in the sense that they cost a lot of money at once, but other hobbies can be expensive in the sense that you spend that much over a period of time. So, my argument to them would be ... it's my money, it's not harming you, so what do you care?

 

My thing is I've never had a problem with my female, and one male, friends and my doll(s). They know the price and they didn't have any reaction to it because they think Shiwoo is adorable. And my parents don't have a problem with it either. Which I'm surprised at because my father is a stickler for money.

Now my male "friends" on the other hand have such a problem with it. They called me stupid for spending that much money on something (and this is coming from a guy who can't pay his rent, but will spend the little money he does have on booze). And one person called my doll a faggot, which I still don't understand. So yeah I don't talk to them anymore just because of that.

 

Sometimes I talk in terms of stuff they own. Most of my friends have ipods, so I'll say something like, "Daisy's about 1.5 ipods". I'm still spending more money, but at least that calls attention to the expensive things they spend their money on. So in that way, we're even. ^^

But in general, my friends don't really seem bothered by it (or they are all too polite to say anything). And you know what, some of it might have to do with them recognizing the kind of money-management skills it takes to keep up this hobby. I think very few of them are so forward-thinking and well-prepared to drop large amounts of cash at a specific time. We spend a lot of energy ferreting away money, while many people spend that $10, $30, $50 as soon as they can get it.

 

Caidanbi - That's about the same situation I'm in, and I can say it's not a nice one for someone who's interested in BJD or other collectibles. I come across people who don't understand why I'm on SSI (as I don't have a disability you'll notice at first sight), or who don't believe that I am sick, and who get very accusatory when they see that I have something pricy - "Well, if you can afford that, you must be lying about how bad your situation is," or "You're just faking so you don't have to work." I feel guilty any time I get something, even though it's usually my mother making the purchase and not me - since she and I live together, our financial status is essentially the same; and of course, people don't understand how I can refer to struggling to decide which bills should be paid, yet have a BJD or ride horses. The fact that I don't have other hobbies (and for a long time, did not buy or do anything other than the 'net), doesn't seem to matter - since I'm disabled and depend on assistance, obviously, I should live at a subsistence level with nothing more than absolute necessities.

Additionally, I've made very few BJD-related purchases aside from the doll himself - but that sometimes gets me looked down on by others. I've seen several statements that amount to, "If you can't afford to buy the best for your doll, you shouldn't have one," as if I love him any less for it. If I'd been well-off when I made the original purchase, then had my situation change, would I be expected to sell the doll if I could no longer 'provide' for him? Chy was a gift from my mother, paid for out of a yearly bonus check that she no longer receives, because she felt bad that I did not get luxury items and generally did not ask for luxury items. She obviously understood how badly I wanted a BJD, to come to her and ask if she could help me think of a way that I might be able to earn the money, and decided to make sure that I got one. (People who were here during my waiting period can probably tell stories of how much I angested over whether I should even keep him, knowing that we had other needs the bonus could have gone toward, and they were the ones who beat some sense into my head about why she did it ^^; ) And he really doesn't need tons of stuff - I can sew for him, and I'm so happy with the wig and eyes he has now that if I had others, they probably wouldn't get used.

And then, of course, there's the flip side - people who assume there's disposable income, and question me as to why I don't have the most up-to-date computer/camera/whatever - and when I explain why, we're right back to where we began.

Sometimes, you just can't win, eh? (Sorry, got ranty there. ^^; )

 

I think a lot of people don't realize how much money that go to small, inexpensive buys, as well as luxury items that a lot of us had to manage without for a shorter or longer period. I saved up for my doll although I'm a student and the only money I have to live on is the student loan. It took some time, but since I don't drink, don't smoke and went without take-out for a few months, the money wasn't too hard to get.

What they fail to see is that most of us don't just buy a doll and its accessories. There is a lot of "hidden saving" in this hobby. :P

 

I kinda ignore them. ^^;; I'm sixteen, so I had /a lot/ of people tell me it was too much. But my boy makes me happy, so I didn't pay them much attention.

 

I try to avoid the subject of explicit price wherever possible. I settle with something like, "it was more than a parking ticket but less than a car." When it does get brought up, I am usually able to counter with their own frivolous expenses. "Too bad what I spent on this doll is what you'd spend on a purse and a pair of jeans, " usually shuts them up.

 

Ahh, it sounds like we are definitely having the same problems! I mean, I'm almost 24, and look healthy, so everyone thinks I'm lying when I tell them how sick I am! Then they think I'm a slug because I only work part time at home, and still live with my parents. And as you said, the majority of my purchases are not really mine, my mom buys them for me - heck, she just let me order my first BJD along with accessories on her credit card, and she ordered one for herself too. She has similar health problems, and so she's really supportive and understanding. Everyone thinks she spoils me rotten (which is true), but we are best friends, and because of our health problems we end up spending way more time with each other than we do with anyone else. The fact that we share a lot of the same interests and hobbies is truly a blessing. It's a pity that people aren't a bit more understanding and compassionate, don't you think? :-S

Well, just try not to let them get you down. They are only looking at the superficial and not seeing the real you. But there are a few of us who understand ^_^ And as for you not loving Chy enough, that is a bunch of garbage! I mean, you are giving him the best home you can. Just because you're not super rich doesn't mean that you love him any less, or that you're not taking care of him. Love is the best gift you can give, and even if you can't shower him with gifts, he's still rich just by being loved by you

 

I always just point out how much less expensive dolls are than children. Granted, we may have to plop down 800 simoleons for one, but there's no hospital bills, no doctor bills, no bodily gestation, no pushing them out, no diapers, no formula, no immunisations, no school fees, no food to buy them, no colic or runny noses or ear infections, no screaming, no tantrums, no whining... Once I point out how much people spend on their kids, they tend to hush.

 

My dad collects motorbikes. When he complains about how expensive my dolls are, I look at his bikes and say 'that one there is about 3 dolls worth of bike, and you hardly ride it.'

That usually keeps him quiet. ^_-

 

I just smile and say that I have priorities regarding my spending -- I'd rather have three or four dolls than smoke for a year and spend $2K on cigarettes, for example

If they really press you on it, tell them that you're uncomfortable with them making that type of judgment about your spending habits -- you chose to have a doll rather than several other smaller things that would have added up to the same amount.

Oh, and my sympathies to the posters who are ill/disabled -- I'm in pretty much the same situation, I have fibromyalgia to the point that I had to quit my job a year and a half ago, so I went from having a very healthy income to having none (I'm still fighting with SSI *sigh*) . . . but I've saved the money that I *have* gotten (from selling off other things that I owned, mostly) and spent it on dolls -- because they really *have* kept me from going stir-crazy being stuck in the house all day.

-- Andi

 

one of my friends kept telling me to wait till I had a full time job(which won't be for another 4 years or so)
she spends at least 30 euro's a month on dvd's, but doesn't see why I would save up money to buy something I can do more with

 

Every time my mom brings up the price, I ask who was more expensive-myself or my older sister. My sister was the type to have multiple purses for every season, tons of shoes, and a closet full of clothes. My mom is the same way. There's really no comparison, as I'm fine with Walmart jeans and t-shirts, with a wallet instead of a purse (my mom keeps buying me 'cute' outfits and accessories anyways, go figure). So if any of my non-doll friends would ask how I can spend so much, I'd point out that the last time I bought myself a CD was about a year ago, and DVD even longer, then ask how much they've spent on anime/manga/DVDs/CDs/games/clothes/shoes/etc.

 

I am in that same situation. I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia and other autoimmune stuff so I also am at home a lot and can't do the things my friends do like trips. It's hard being sick and not looking like it. When I use my handicap card I always feel like people think I'm cheating.

To answer the question Alicia asked....I just say..less than you spend on an airplane ticket but then again most of my friends are very supportive of anything I like. It's my husband that I had to make understand but I sell my art on ebay and make up some of it.

Why do people feel they have the right to judge what someone else buys? I don't get it. Hey..when the gas is gone, you'll still have your dolls!
I've already told my husband that I intend on getting another (at least!)

 

Sorry you guys are hurting..I really can empathize with you.

 

I found once I explain how I saved for my doll people tend to understand it better. When I would see something that I would normally buy without a second thought, I just held off and put a note of the price on a post it that was attached to my doll fund. A dvd I had wanted here, a few books over there, some snowglobe or nick knack I'd like here and soon I had saved up the money. When I explain it in terms of things they like to buy, it doesnt seem so crazy. You'd be suprized how much you can save if you just dont buy a ton of things all the time, or if you just hold off on seeing that movie in the theater that you really werent dying to see anyways.

 

It never ceases to amaze me that people can be so rigidly moralistic when it comes to what others do, but rarely scrutinise their own lives with the same critical intensity. Anyone who leaps to judgement before considering the circumstances is automatically suspect.

I never bought the "love means never having to say you're sorry" schtick, but I do believe love means you want to see the needs of those you care for met, even when those needs differ from yours.

These dolls bring joy to my life ... more tangible joy (save for my son) than I've had in 7 years. Those I call friends respect this, even if they don't understand it in the contexts of their own lives. There's no room in my life anymore for people who say they care, but through their pronouncements demonstrate otherwise. I don't plan to spend a second more of my life defending myself or my choices!

Lisa

 

I AM working, but it's not really enough to settle things. Thank the gods I have a roommate who understands AND has dolls as well. I'm still paying off my third one, but they are worth every penny of it. I'll go without some of the more fivolous things to have my boys. Hey, I switched from buying one coke every day to getting a case of generic pop and keeping it in my fridge. That saves me over $10 a week. Doesn't sound like a lot, but at $50 a month, it means I only have seven more months till my next doll. Of course, finding little things like that helps tons.