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Do we choose the doll(s) or do the doll(s) choose us? ^_^;

Oct 4, 2011

    1. I have pondered this question since I first learn about bjds and learned a great deal more on D.o.A. I hear owners say that they did not bond with the doll(s) or when they got to see bjd(s) they knew the bjd would not be a good fit for them. Also, I saw videos of owners with super hard to find rare doll(s) that they truly wanted/like and in addition, took quite a good bit of work to receive but decide to sale later (not because of financial problems either). These situations lead me to ask the following:

      Is the reason for bonding or not bonding because of bjd(s) choosing or your own? Why or Why not?
      Do you feel as if your doll was meant for you or felt when you had the doll it was meant for another?

      *If this is in the wrong place or repeated, please move or delete. My apologizes if so.*
      :sweat Thank you

      EDIT: All of your wonderful comments made me think of more questions!
      Do doll collectors that have their bjd(s) for display do the choosing or do the doll(s) choose that option too?[​IMG] For example, a few dolls give me the instinct impression that they DON'T want to be social at all or at least not often.

      Do your bjd(s) make you more or a great deal more social because they want to be out in the public a lot than you care to be?


      Did your bjd(s) not like your face-up, even though it is really beautiful, and cause you to change it till that bjd(s) felt it is right for them and/or did similar actions happen with clothes choices, fashion styles, shoes, wigs, eyes, etc.?

      Has your bjd(s) ever changed personalities, (like complete change from your original character creation), and/or their fashion style and refuse to wear the clothes they don't like anymore?
      I have pondered this when bjd's style do change from time to time and owners talk about how there bjd(s) is/are being a brat(or brats). I am just so amazed how different everyone's bjd(s) acts even with the same sculpts and companies.
      :lol:
       
    2. The wand chooses the wizard Mr.Potter.
       
    3. hmm, now that you put it that way, they might choose us! :sweat
      I had been trying to sell one of my dolls forever, but he never sold, so, today i just gave up...
      he's staying with me, because he wants to. xD
       
    4. It seems like an interesting idea! That maybe you just don't bond with some dolls because they don't choose you? It would make sense as to why I'm more bonded to one doll than another for no particular reason. That actually makes me more excited for any dolls I get in the future!
       
    5. I thought before that I'm the one who make a choise. Two and a half years ago I found my first bjd. Today I have a big family. :sweat But not every doll that I bought become a part of my family. With some of the dolls I didn't know what to do. I just couldn't imagine a character. I was unsatisfied with myself. And that dolls were sold. I think they just left. They found their own families. I think they weren't meant for me.
       
    6. Thanks for commenting everyone!!!:lol: I really started wondering this for awhile!! I really wanted to get some opinions on the matter to get more of an idea about this because the dolls have such a strong presence. Yes! Sha choose me; I had no choice in the matter!:lol: Not that I was going to say no, he just made sure he was first.:sweat
       
    7. @Morinaga: Exactly what I was thinking :lol:

      So, to answer your questions!
      I think that the reason for not-bonding has to do with a combination of factors--some being the doll's and some being the owner's. Some people never bond and just have these dolls as works of art, too. It's really different for everyone. Me personally, I actually haven't had this problem, so maybe I'm not the best to talk about this? XD
      And... I've felt both. There have been times when I see a doll and BAM it's this character in my head, and that'll never leave, and I know that doll is 'right'. Other times, I know that that doll just isn't what I'm looking for--and that's okay too. They do have a kind of personality in that way.
       
    8. I have a bonding problem :( My boy, and only doll atm, is on his second head, and that head is actually out being modded as we speak. I thought I loved him, and I thought once I had the new head (which I wanted originally but got another for some dumb reason) that I would be happy with it, but it just wasnt right. So hopefully these mods will settle my scrutinous eye xD

      I also had a Bobobie Sprite girl for a while. She was really pretty, and she photographed nice, but there were issues with her face from profile view, her hands, and her body shape that I just couldnt get over and it kept me from really bonding with her, so she was sold.

      I want to say that I choose the dolls, but on the other end of things there are some sculpts that you just see and they call out to you. Granted, for me personally, these dolls are way beyond the budget I would willingly spend on a doll, which may be the reason I get so unsatisfied with the dolls I do get. But with all the modding options available, its possible to get exactly what you're looking for, it just takes more work :)
       
    9. I never really have bonding issues~ All the dolls come home I never feel they are misfits. well, I guess like LordBlumiere said, I'm that type of person never bond with dolls but rather just treat them as pieces of art. So lots of factors can make me think of selling my dolls. One of those being relocating. To me it's just silly to take three mini and large all the way with me to a strange country. So I sold them. But I still feel sad to let them go. Today I just finished packing my Merriah and I just felt so sad. And no matter how difficult, I just can't let my twins go. So I decided to save a spot in my suitcase for them. I guess I somehow do have some bonding after all ~
       
    10. This topic reminds me bout HP :D
      maybe it's something like a 'bond' or just some feelings...When u see a doll you might think he/she is the one for you or there's something that touches your heart > <
       
    11. Most of the dolls I buy are dolls I have never actually seen in person. I fall madly for the company photo, and sometimes I may see owner's photos here if any have been shipped, but until I actually have the doll in my hands before my eyes, I really never know if I will love them enough to keep them. Company photos tend to flatter the doll (although not always), and sometimes the photo has even been manipulated with Photoshop or another editing program to look a certain way. Also, when the doll is photographed alone, it is difficult for me to judge scale and how the doll will look with similar sized dolls I already have. When I say I haven't "bonded" with a doll, I usually mean that once I actually have it, I am disappointed in the size or the way it looks and realize that I don't like it enough to keep it. At that point, I would rather sell it to someone who might like it better and buy something else.
       
    12. Is the reason for bonding or not bonding because of bjd(s) choosing or your own? Why or Why not?
      I don't feel like not bonding is a matter of choice, really. After all, if I spent the money on the doll I would definitely much rather choose to bond with it. However, sometimes something just doesn't click -- and until you have the physical doll in your hands after you purchased it, you are going off pics which don't necessarily convey everything there is about a doll.

      Do you feel as if your doll was meant for you or felt when you had the doll it was meant for another?
      I've never felt that way that specifically. It does stand to reason, however, that if I'm not enjoying the doll there maybe someone else out there that might. I would rather move the doll on to a new home where it will be enjoyed than having it just sit ignored on my shelf.
       
    13. Thank you for all your comments!! :) Thank you all for some many examples and personal experiences! For people who do the choosing, who how do you do that! Because for me, the dolly reminds me consistently.*_*
       
    14. Is the reason for bonding or not bonding because of bjd(s) choosing or your own? Why or Why not? I would say it's because the doll does not belong with me. I wouldn't waste money on a doll I didn't want, but sometimes after getting one in hand, it just "feels" wrong, like the doll belongs with someone else. Like with my AoD Qing, as much as I loved her and tried to make it work, it just never felt "right" and I ended up letting her go.


      Do you feel as if your doll was meant for you or felt when you had the doll it was meant for another? I have felt this way several times. And I had a DZ Hid that my friend bonded to more than I did so I ended up selling him to her, though now I have two more DZ Hids and they both feel right! So I don't even think its a matter of a sculpt being "wrong", it's the doll's spirit! :P

      Do doll collectors that have their bjd for display do the choosing or do the doll(s) choose that option too? I can't really answer this one, as I play with and enjoy my bjds. They all have a character that gets roleplayed, so I DO have the bond. However, I do have OT dolls that I only display and do nothing else with and I feel no bond to them and wouldn't really care if they got sold or not.

      Do your bjd(s) make you more or a great deal more social because they want to be out in the public a lot than you care to be? Yes and no. Most of my "doll socializing" is done online, so I get to sit at home by myself and be antisocial while the dolls get roleplayed with their friends. lol But I have gone to dollmeets that I wouldn't have had I not been in the hobby and have made friends online through doll sites that I never would have met otherwise, so I suppose in a way, they do make me more social.

      Did your bjd(s) not like your face-up, even though it is really beautiful, and cause you to change it till that bjd(s) felt it is right for them and/or did similar actions happen with clothes choices, fashion styles, shoes, wigs, eyes, etc.? Oh, absolutely! Most of my dolls have hated their factory faceups and I had bonding issues until I redid them. I think this has to do with the doll feeling like a "clone" to me, since others have default faceups as well, and i doesn't feel like my original characters. Though I was always the "weirdo" in school, doing the opposite of what was "in", so maybe default faceups and clothing just feel like the "in" crowd too much to me. :P

      Has your bjd ever changed personalities, and/or their fashion style and refuse to wear the clothes they don't like anymore?
      Yes, they have. Amir started out as a goth boy and I originally intended for him to be Sephiroth inspired with long silver hair...Amir had other plans and decided to go blond (when my sister's boy rejected a wig and it ended up getting stuck on Amir in pure silliness and he loved it and looked very upset when I took it off.) He also changed to a more business-y type for work and artsy when casual. Maddy started as hardcore vampire goth and switched to pin-up. Blake decided a skinny RS body with black hair was SO his dorky teen years and that he needed to "grow up" into a RingDoll Shao with red hair. Axl didn't want to be the dread-locked, metal guitarist I'd planned and preferred 80's hairband style instead. Ashley has informed me that he is a very devoted Pentecostal (and I have NO clue where THAT came from, as I'm about as anti-religion as you can get...LOL)
       
    15. For me its kind amore like self control. Haha. I like many dolls, I choose many dolls, and the moment I get them, I make sure they will get a new set of nice clothes till I can afford more. I got 5 now and I quite love them all. Some more then others but non will I want to sell away.

      I treat BJD as an inanimate object. I dont think it can choose, but it is what you make him/her out of it. I guess if getting stuff was too frustrating or no matter how you look it just doesnt look like what you buy (some company photos are done so fantastically its hard to fault the doll. But most doll come blank so yeah). For me I just have to go about looking at owner pics, sellers pic and flickr to make sure Im getting what I like and I choose her cause she fits into my aesthetics.

      There are dolls I can never agree with. They just dont look like how I imagine a doll will be like. I do know of people that love them more then me. Then again I wont purchase such a doll though. I can say it is more like I rejected it rather then the other way round as if I have gotten those dolls, I would have change the wig, eyes and dress it up. May even go for a custom make up and I am sure it will become what I like and fancy. Sculpts are important and all but its what goes over them that ultimate change their looks.

      And I think BJD got their own fashion sense themself lol. When you thought it was nice, after awhile you may spot someone else photo, or bought some new clothes and try them on. All of a sudden they look better. You may even think the doll enjoyed those new clothes haha.
       
    16. Do doll collectors that have their bjd(s) for display do the choosing or do the doll(s) choose that option too? For example, a few dolls give me the instinct impression that they DON'T want to be social at all or at least not often.
      Can't speak for anyone else, but with my own dolls I have some that spend more time just hanging out on the shelf and others that I gravitate towards more of hands on play. Sometimes it has to do with their character -- some characters seem to invite that more than others. Sometimes certain doll bodies are just more fun to handle than others.

      Do your bjd(s) make you more or a great deal more social because they want to be out in the public a lot than you care to be?
      Whether or not they like dollmeetups, I certainly do and have made friends that way. I really enjoy the social aspects of the hobby, and it has encouraged me (a very shy person) to get out more.

      Did your bjd(s) not like your face-up, even though it is really beautiful, and cause you to change it till that bjd(s) felt it is right for them and/or did similar actions happen with clothes choices, fashion styles, shoes, wigs, eyes, etc.?
      Sometimes certain clothing styles, faceups etc just don't seem to work. Something will just seem a bit off -- it can be pretty subtle sometimes so that until I actually change something I don't realize how much the original outfit, wig, faceup whatever was bugging me. I had one of my girl dolls dressed in a very cute way that seemed to go with her sculpt but the outcome was rather uninteresting. I changed her into a punkier outfit and then it was like something clicked into place. It was like 'oh, that's how you should be dressed.'

      Has your bjd(s) ever changed personalities, (like complete change from your original character creation), and/or their fashion style and refuse to wear the clothes they don't like anymore?
      Yes, I have had some OCs that while great on paper just didn't translate well into doll form -- I found that once I had them I didn't really know what to do with them. Some of those bodies are getting sold, while others (with some hybridizing) become shells for new characters. Like a lot of things with abjds it can take some experimentation to find what works for you. I do have one character who is on her third body -- the first two weren't bad for her, but something just wasn't quite right. She's much better off now.
       
    17. LOL I'm glad someone appreciated that reference XD
       
    18. So sorry morinaga!!!O__O I didn't want anyone to feel that their comments were not appreciated!!D= I really enjoyed everyones comments, insight, and humor!!:) So, if I made you felt that way I apologize!!! :o
       
    19. Thank you for your insight everyone! I don't make OCs for bjds; so, I wanted to know about others who do! ^__^ Now, I got more of an idea thanks to the comments! :D Also, I learn more from others experiences with changing the look till it is right. This is really amazing of bjd owners, I think! :) I truly love to see the creativity that is brought forth with bjds! I never thought about bjds not wanting to be clones that would make a lot of sense!:o
       
    20. Is the reason for bonding or not bonding because of bjd(s) choosing or your own? Why or Why not?
      I WANTED to bond with my first girl, but I just never did. What that experience taught me was that I have no control over the bonding process if I don't buy the doll as a character (I'd bought her as a model). I bond more easily with the dolls I have probably because I already know and like their personalities.

      Do you feel as if your doll was meant for you or felt when you had the doll it was meant for another?


      Larten chose me. I think he's the only doll I have I can really say that of. I saw him at a con and thought "Whoa, that one's pretty. He's too expensive, and I only really need two models... but he's pretty." On the second pass I took a closer look at his face and thought "I'd call him Larten." And I had no intention of buying him, at all, even then. But I kept coming back and looking at him. I examined the detail on his hands and feet, studied his faceup, called my friends over and showed him to them. I'd go off to other shops, but I'd keep thinking about him and "that doll" turned into "Larten" in my head without me even noticing when. Eventually I figured he was already mine so I might as well get out my wallet. XD


      Do doll collectors that have their bjd(s) for display do the choosing or do the doll(s) choose that option too?:sweat For example, a few dolls give me the instinct impression that they DON'T want to be social at all or at least not often.
      Darren's feeling a bit more social now that he's got Evra. When it was just him and Larten and Benny, the lot of them couldn't have cared less. Not sure why that is.

      Do your bjd(s) make you more or a great deal more social because they want to be out in the public a lot than you care to be?
      Nope, I'm still more social than my vamps. Though not by much.

      Did your bjd(s) not like your face-up, even though it is really beautiful, and cause you to change it till that bjd(s) felt it is right for them and/or did similar actions happen with clothes choices, fashion styles, shoes, wigs, eyes, etc.?

      When I made a Vancha look for Benny, he started hanging around as Vancha more than Benny the Model, but the personality didn't stick to him permanently... though I thought for a while that it might.