Do You Use Your Dolls as Replacement Children?

I don't have any children, and while I hope to eventually have one (though my current boyfriend, if we are together that long, wants to have two...) I am definitely not even close to having any! I'm planning on waiting at LEAST ten more years before I have any babies... As far as where dolls and children will fit into my life at that point, I am guessing that the dolls will have to take the back seat for a while when I have children, at least at first, 'cause I most likely won't have enough time\energy\money to spend on both. I don't think I'll sell any of my dolls when I have children, at least not the ones I've really bonded with (which is most of them), but I'll put them into storage or something. After a while I will probably get back into the swing of things, and I will make sure that my kid(s?) learn from an early age that my dolls are not for playing with. I'll get them their own dolls if they really want to play with mine. (And by their own dolls, I mean dolls meant for kids, not BJDs. At least not for a very long time. Maybe BJDs when they're at least 10 and have proven they can take care of a doll properly. Maybe.) Right now, being a teenager, I am glad I don't have children yet! I don't really feel the need to have one any time soon, so my dolls don't play that role in my life. The closest thing that does is my dog. Whenever I get a hormone kick and my brain tells me I should be taking care of small things, I don't want more dolls (not because of THAT anyway!), I just want more cats. I know when I'm going through hormonal stuff when I suddenly have the urge to adopt more cats. But I don't want dolls because of those kind of things. Nope. They are not babies to me.

 

Hmm interesting topic indeed I have 11 and half months old daughter too ^^ and i got into the BJD stuff just like month or two before i find out that i will be mom :P

My reason why i wanted bjd was not motherly at all i take them as awesomely detailed action figures suitable for shelling my rp oc characters :3 also i can design clothes for them and all the stuff as drawing is frustrating for me :S

On the other hand i always wanted a kid for really old worldy reason as it will be my own flesh and blood someone who will continue with my lineage and will carry my fingerprints of her personality.

Although i cannot let my little sweet demolishing tornado to touch my dolls at all because she love mechanic things and she is tempted what else is able to move and how she can disassemble it XD

 

I don't (and won't-) have children of my own... but I do have a teenaged god-daughter (Who's a fellow doll collector-), a niece and two nephews. I'm also sort-of a "back-up aunt" for my neighbor's kids. I like munchkins well enough, but I just never felt any particular need or desire to be a mom myself.

My dolls aren't in any way, shape or form "substitute children". As I've always said when this sort of thing comes up, if I'd WANTED to have kids... I'd have had kids. My dolls are just cool toys.

 

Having dolls isn't really a substitute for children for me (I have my pets for that!) Dolls are customizable--children are not. I can't choose how my children are going to look, change their hair at will, etc. I just don't feel that they are compairable in that way, so in my mind they are two very seperate things. My husband and I are planning on having kids in the next year or two. I'm nervous about how it will effect my hobbies, especially my doll hobby, but I'm also excited about it

 

I don't have kids, I don't WANT kids, and my doll are not surrogate children. They're dolls. Even if I wanted surrogate children for some reason (which I don't -- I don't want actual kids, so why would I want some kind of pretend-kids?), dolls wouldn't fit the bill because...they're dolls. They aren't alive, they aren't part of my family. My dolls are one of the many things that help me fulfill my need for beauty in my daily life because surrounding myself with dolls is one way to surround myself with beautiful things. They also fulfill the part of me that wants to learn new creative things, like sewing and fabric dying, without jumping right into making human-sized and therefore much more expensive items.

 

For me, dolls are a storytelling tool. They are a way to embody a character and a kind of visual art- I'm not an artist, so it is incredibly fulfilling to have some kind of visual art that I enjoy (dolls). I'm attached to characters. If I can get them out my head in the shape of a story or a doll it's a good thing.

I do not have or ever want to have children. To me my doll is not my child (thank goodness). I have a legitimate fear and dislike of children. Sort of the same gut reaction that people have to spiders where you just want it to go away. Yeah... like that. I know my reaction's a little extreme and I know that there are a lot of people who make wonderful parents and have wonderful children. I'm just not one of them. I have no desire to breed or be tethered to another life when I'm still trying to live mine. My partners are fully independent adults and that's about as close as I'm willing to get to taking care of someone else.

 

I don't like kids. And I hate to say that because I have a niece and a nephew. But I don't like them. I can't interact with children, it makes me uncomfortable. So I suppose my answer is no, I don't plan to have children.

In the beginning, I used to be very motherly to my dolls. But after a while, they stopped being like children and more like characters. Friends, not children. I know that may sound odd, but I have a lot that goes on in my life. My dolls are an outlet, something I turn to when I feel sad, angry, or numb. Playing with my dolls, dressing them, taking pictures, writing stories... theyre kind of therapeutic to me ^^;

 

My dolls aren't child substitutes. They're toys I can play with and works of art to embellish and admire. They're tools to flesh out characters, to exercise my imagination.

Children aren't toys. They're not tools or inanimate art pieces. You can't impose your aesthetic on them or put them away when ready to do something else. They need a lot more, take a lot more time and effort than dolls.

I don't hate children. To me, they're like any other person-- there's some I like, some I dislike, and the majority I'm indifferent to. But having one of my own is just not something I need or want.

 

That was all super interesting! Thank you for the insight!

Of course I know that a doll and child could never compare. Like others have said, one can't mold and change a child to one's perfect image. Lol. I guess I just wondered if there was an appeal in the BJD hobby for those not having kids because they are so different than children, that you can put them on a shelf and forget them for a month. But when you feel like interacting and caring for it you can.

But it seems from all these posts that it's just different for everyone. Some have nurturing feelings and some see their dolls only as objects. Which is exactly what I wanted to find out. ^_^ So thanks everyone for answering.

And thanks to whoever put my question in this thread! I found all the answers I was looking for! I seem to be having a hard time searching for things in this forum and can't ever seem to find what I'm looking for. Ah well.

Thanks again everyone who responded!

 

Nah my rabbits are my "kids." My dolls are just affectionate pals who prefer to speak to me telepathically....boy that sounded crazy..

 

I'm 21 and fully intend to have children at some point so, no, lol. But I do mother my cat a lot

 

No. Yuk.

For one thing, I really have no desire for baby-dolls. I like cute little fairies and anthros, and very mature large dolls that are SO far from being child-like it's just ridiculous... My big EID men are NOT my children! *shudder*

I don't really see how this whole "you have dolls instead of children" keeps coming up (and believe me, it keeps coming up in Discussion here through the years!). Is it asked by people who don't know anything about having children??? Or who only have baby-dolls??? Because, really, I don't get it.

People will say that about pets, too. "Oh, are they replacements for children?" No, I did not pretend to birth a dog or a hamster! But I can still love pets and care for them without thinking they are replacements for children.

And, come on, there ARE people who have kids AND pets AND dolls!!!! So I don't get it. Does that mean that even though they have children, they still want more children and buy dolls? I don't think so...



I buy dolls because I like them. I buy all kinds of things, but I don't do it because I'm replacing children.

Dolls, or pets, or cars or whatever--for one thing, they are not anything like children. Well... pets are a bit CLOSER, but still!!!

I don't have children. I don't want children. I have a nephew and he's plenty good at filling in, IF I needed something to fill in! --And he hates dolls by the way, so I doubt he'd think a doll would in any way be a replacement for him!

 

Well I asked the question because I am new to the BJD hobby so I was just curious. I certainly did not mean to bring up sore subject or to offend.

It's not that I think dolls=children. Of course not. I just wondered what relationship people seem to have with their dolls. And like everything else about people, it's different for everyone. As it should be, I feel.

 

Does it give you something you were lacking not having children?
Nope - I think pets fill that space much more for me, and even those aren't really a 'replacement' for kids. Dolls, to me, are just objects, and could never replace any living companion in my life.

Would you pay as much attention to your dolls if you suddenly had kids?
Nope - I know enough from my friends who have children that kids take up boatloads of time. It wouldn't be remotely possible to spend time with my dolls if I had children.

Do your dolls make you feel better or worse about not have kids of your own.
They don't really influence me either way in that regard I'm not really ready to have children, so I don't feel good or bad about not having them, it's just a fact of life at the moment.

 

I kind of do. I do have dolls for my unfulfilled dreams of childhood. I can wear them whatever I like. I treat them like my own children. I love them.