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Doll Addiction: When does it become a problem?

Mar 19, 2014

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    1. The world exist in yin yang and there is such thing as too much of a good thing.

      We love this hobby, it makes us happy, some of us even think of it as therapy,
      but what happens when it becomes a problem / an addiction?
      No different than retail therapy,I read that some people get into serious debt because of this hobby.
      Some people instead of dealing with their problems directly immerse themselves in this hobby,
      which leads to addiction, debt, self-isolation.

      Have anyone gone through this? How did you cope?
      What would you advise?
       
      #1 atrika, Mar 19, 2014
    2. Fortunately, I've never had this problem, but I'd say it crosses the line when it takes all up ALL your money (you can't afford to eat or pay your bills, or ALL your time (you never see your friends anymore because you're too busy with dolls.
       
      #2 s1257, Mar 19, 2014
    3. When it eats up ALL your money.
       
      #3 yuan_mdx, Mar 19, 2014
    4. Yea, but like hikikomori cases and many other addiction problems you won't know it until you're deep in it. When would one first realize, "okay, I need help, this is too much,"? For normal addictions identifiable by people around them like drinking, there would be intervention and they would say hey, you have a problem. But there are doll owners who are the only one with a "different" hobby in their family or group of friend, and the fact of spending hundreds of dollars on one doll is already crazy for them.

      Several years ago I think I did have a little problem, I took out money without asking, I lied where they went, and general for a short time have no self-control only within my hobby. Not until somebody mentioned "Oh my god, it's like a gambling problem!" lol. I said I don't, and they said yeah not everyone who has a problem would admit it. I was buying and buying but never had the time to play with them. Some never even taken out of package or box.

      I was thankful that I got it under control in time. Could be worse, like not paying rent or not eat.
       
      #4 atrika, Mar 19, 2014
    5. When it's eating up all you money haha.
      If you feel the need to buy something so much that you're also willing to lie and steal to get it, that's also a huge problem
       
      #5 MaruiAngel, Mar 19, 2014
    6. Addiction to me is something that takes place over time. One may get a doll and then another but the one thing that sets addictive behavior apart from hobby/collecting in general is the inability to stop buying. If one can't stop buying dolls and things for dolls for a period of time without feeling a sadness or sense of depriving oneself, then there is an addiction in the works. It's especially obvious when one has several dolls and never feels satisfied until another one is ordered. When it arrives that desire to buy again instead of enjoying what was received hits, well its an addiction. Before long the credit cards are so full, the layaways are numerous and that need to fit into a social group by having the biggest and the best can really take a hold. Lets say someone has a significant other in their life and they fear letting that person know just how many dolls they actually have so, many are hidden away. I would say that is also a sign. So, it the inability to say no to a doll, the inability to stop spending for a good period of time and the hiding of things that were bought or a type of hording starting because the purchase is very gratifying. To me, this all spells addiction. It can happen to anyone. The longer it goes on the harder it is to get control over, but it can be done. I think another way one can protect themselves from this is to have more than one hobby and to spend time with lots of people that do and do not have hobbies. If one spends all their time around the same hobby people those people create an influence to purchase more of the same thing and the process goes on and on. Its kind of like when they tell a person to get rid of their drinking buddies if they have a drinking problem. Its never good to be hard on yourself if you have an issue. More people have this problem than are willing to admit it and it is with just about anything from pets to dolls and goods to shoes.
       
      #6 Anika, Mar 19, 2014
    7. The family will be more able to tell than the person themselves, I think. When the person is collecting and loving it, they will not likely see a problem in it until its "severe", but family and friends can tell earlier.
      Also, excessive spending on dolls falls under shopping addiction (but here its specific type of product shopping)
       
      #7 GlukoZza, Mar 19, 2014
    8. I ask myself from time to time - do I really NEED this doll? But I'm still going off a list made 2 years ago to fill characters for a specific project (rather daunting one but still...). Also I have other MAJOR time & money sucks - oh, I mean INTERESTS... I'm a cosplayer (ok that does now involve the dolls), go to cons (SF, anime, doll), and then there's the KDrama blackhole of time.... with all the meetups associated w/those things LOL So I guess I spread my geekiness out.
      That said, nothing's a problem until it starts interfering w/your life in negative ways - if you can't pay your bills, don't have time for important things or people, unable to meet your work obligations, etc then PROBLEM...
       
      #8 Teleri, Mar 19, 2014
    9. Well, where to begin. I am a doll addict. It may sound funny to hear but I cant stop getting them or buying for them. Ive been through other addictions before. Piercings (I think it was over 30 at one time, tattoos (Most of my body is covered).

      I'm always looking at dolls or doll items, as soon as I get home from work or in my spare time (even on lunch breaks at work) I'm looking at sites, the market place or eBay. I hate not being able to get new things for them or new dolls it gets me depressed (something ive suffered with for 15 years plus). I even forget what I've ordered until it arrives at my door sometimes. Ive racked up a nice amount on my credit card and my spare wage tends to go on dolls rather then going out doing things or seeing people.
      I know its a problem and all I seem to talk about is dolls, even to my boyfriend (poor dear). I'm stuck and I want to get out of it but then again I don't. I would never steal or hurt anyone for any of my addictions though, maybe myself but that's my own problem and fault. I feel its healthy to be able to say this and it might help others.
       
      #9 MissKittyTwisted, Mar 19, 2014
    10. I really agree with you on the healthy part because you can see where you are with things. It is helpful to others to know people out there deal with this from time to time. BJDs are so tempting too with everything you can get for the doll, the customizing and the dressing along with display. The possibilities are endless. Its very easy to go a little spending crazy with this hobby. They are just awesome dolls. The sad thing is they are so expensive that it doesn't take long if you are on a fixed income to get too many cc bills on the hobby alone.
       
      #10 Anika, Mar 19, 2014
    11. I use to have a problem, I suppose. I have over 90 dolls and bought or tried to buy any doll I liked. Now, I do want a couple of minifees, but haven't ordered them. I need to save for Dollism anyway so they'll wait. But honestly if this hobby hadn't existed, I'd still be buying stuff but it would have been other stuff.
       
      #11 Rynn007, Mar 19, 2014
    12. I can't see this happening because of BJDs in particular. If this happens to someone, it could be due to anything--games, cross-word puzzles, coin-collecting, whatever... And if it's impacting someone's life negatively--they need to seek professional help.

      RE: doll-hoarding and over-spending... I can see that being a more common problem... but also not necessarily specific to BJDs... I have this problem, but even without dolls, I'd have it. Probably need to try and deal with it and control it better. And seek help if it gets totally out of hand.
       
      #12 april, Mar 20, 2014
    13. I think it would become a problem, just like with any other addiction when it interferes with and impairs functioning in daily life (be it work, school, family), safety (resorting to risky behavior to satisfy the addiction), priorities (not paying debts, completing work), physical health (stress over not being able to satisfy the addiction), emotional health (erratic, violent or negative reactions) and mental health (depression, anxiety).
       
      #13 mdonline03, Mar 20, 2014
    14. I wouldn't buy anydoll with Credit, only crash. It's will help me no worry about my bills
       
      #14 jonson, Mar 20, 2014
    15. That's kinda hard with this hobby though! :) You're saving for one, and out pops another one, then you're like "which onneess?? and why both are limited at the same time?? auggh!!"

      honestly I think the limited ones are driving addicts crazy, because you either have to get them at that time, or never or get higher priced in the market place.
      nowadays a lot of the companies now offer layaways. it's a good thing, and it's a bad thing if you don't keep your eyes on it. ever since i start this hobby i'm usually on only one layaway at a time,
      now i am having three layaways at the same time. I don't want it to become a habit. it always started small...
       
      #15 atrika, Mar 21, 2014
    16. I used to be like this! I would be severely depressed if I cannot get a limited doll which is so difficult to do back then (2004/5) I think. I wasn't dealing well with a death of a loved one who is practically like my dad, after seven days I was sent back to college. I kept failing, couldn't go to class, all I wanted to do is look at dolls, I was on DoA 24/7. I wasn't able to contain my anger and would snap or cry at the stupidest thing, I just stop being with people then. I didn't wanna hurt them. At that time I feel like my dolls were my solace, they smile at me, they don't say hey your brother died months ago get over it! But because they make me feel good that slowly things became a little bad "(she needs a yukata, all dolls need at least one yukata! look at that complete toppi outfit set! i can't get a Toppi, at least i can get the full outfit set and it would look adorable on you!!"

      how did I snap out of this? I moved to States in 07, and was sooo busy. And I wasn't in a tomb of a house full of mementos and not near crazy people (my family). I was okay.

      I didn't steal! :p I meant by taking out money without asking was from the shared account with hubs. We usually discuss what we're buying, as both geeks we make sure that we don't overspend and that he too have money for his hobby. In 2012 after another death, I start buying without telling though. I feel so bad, he didn't even get to buy his toys and stuff >< ahh it pained me to remember this. Almost deplete rent funds one time. Went for help last year and everything is better. While I'm still addicted, if you feel like you have to lie about your purchase, you have to ask yourself why.

      Don't worry, it also means he's a keeper :3 I read on the forum while dolls can tear relationships apart, they can also bring people closer. Maybe you should cross your dolls with his hobby (eg if he loves football, make a team jersey for your doll)
       
      #16 atrika, Mar 21, 2014
    17. I don't mean it's happening because of BJDs in particular :) Since it's a doll forum of expensive hobby, where would it be more fitting to ask and who could be more appropriate to answer but collectors themselves.

      Maybe some people are afraid that when they seek help or therapy they might be less interest in their hobby after realizing what turns them to dolls, I don't know. I thought it would be like that for me. But after seeking help for lurking issues, I still love dolls, but able to thoroughly enjoy them, not on a buying spree, and not use them as a distraction but relaxation, there is a difference.

      I have OCD and from a family with serious hoarding issues. I was terrified if I would turn into them, four rooms full of clothes and shoes of varying sizes, out of fashion from different era and timezone, most never worn! plates and plates and plates omg when I watched Hoarders I went home in 2011 and donated everything I can. My mom went behind my back and unpack some of the boxes to put them back lol.

      Before this hobby I was a hoarder as well. I guess there wasn't a focus of collecting, so collect everything, have different colors of the same thing, it didnt matter if it didnt fit several sizes too big or too small or didnt match me at all, I liked it and I must have it. pencils, erasers, dead roses, snake skins, teeth, worn contact lens, nails, years worth ( yes i know, eww) but all neatly jarred and displayed like some lab experiment. funny enough I don't like collecting dust bunnies.

      This hobby helps, I hope one day it won't turn to poison to me :3
       
      #17 atrika, Mar 21, 2014
    18. I'm a bit of a recluse by nature. Being into BJDs actually means I get out more than I would usually, going to meets, buying supplies, socializing online. I probably (well, definately) spend more on it than I should, but I figure that as long as I make it through the month without going in the red, I'm good XD

      I think it becomes a problem only if it interferes with your life in a negative way. I do think that maybe for some people, BJDs are pretty much their entire life and they are very emotionally invested in a way that may not be healthy. That's not a BJD issue, specifically, it can happen in any hobby.
       
      #18 Neo Rebirth, Mar 21, 2014
    19. I think if you get to that point then you do have a problem to fix. It's not so much the dolls that is the addiction, but it's the thrill of buying new stuff. People can get addicted to buying new clothes constantly or new make-up for the thrill of having something new, but once it's arrived then it's no longer new so you keep the addiction going by buying new things, and I definitely know how that feels because I go through periods of this kind of buying frenzy myself and I have to stop myself by unsubscribing from shopping websites and eBay notifications and things like that so I don't even get alerts about shopping because online shopping is the worst - at least if you walk around a physical shop you have time to consider what you're doing and you have to hand over your card or your money so you can see that you're spending. If you buy online it's a couple of clicks and done. It doesn't feel like spending money and it is so dangerous.

      I have regular meets with a university friend in our university town and it got to the point where every time we went out for lunch I would buy something - a new pen, some shoe laces, some new earrings, a new CD... and that was a thrill on top of spending time with my friend, but it would pass really quickly because the thrill of new stuff fades away and needs to be replaced with other new stuff. I had a similar problem when I used to stay with my boyfriend when he was away at university - he would go to lectures and I would go into town and I could never come back without buying something. Anything. I'm forced to clear out my wardrobe periodically because I just have so much stuff. I'm getting a lot better and I don't buy as much stuff anymore - forcing myself to obey a rule that I only buy to replace broken or worn out things and actually telling people around me that I'm doing it helped me a lot. If I did go to buy something frivolous, my family and friends would point it out to me and remind me of what I said. It made me feel foolish and childish when they did point it out, but it certainly helped me save money and get into the habit of not buying things on impulse and wanting people to think the best of you is a good motivator.

      People say that an addiction covers up an existing problem, but I think in some people the repetitive action of doing something and getting a reward from that can be enough of a spark. It was that way for me. Buying new stuff was fun and people complimented me on my new earrings or dress or whatever and it felt nice. You don't have to have inner turmoil or family problems to get addicted to something. It can start off small with "Oh, I like those eyes, I'll buy them, *click*" and then you see another thing you like and click and buy that and then another thing *click*. It is very easy to get carried away with purchasing things on the internet and some people will see that and stop, but other people will only realise the problem when they make a note of how many parcels they are expecting in the post, but even then don't want to stop getting new things!

      I can easily get into that trap myself, to the point where on top of my 'I will not buy things unless it is to replace something broken or worn out' rule, I am making myself swear an oath not to buy things for my dolls or myself that I could make or trade for, and to pace my acquisition of new stuff so that I'm not going nuts buying everything I see that I happen to like. It can be hard in this hobby because as things are released, if they're wildly popular they could sell out, so that can spark a panic of 'if I don't get that now I'll never get it!!!!!' and throw you off track. I also have a weakness for a BJD tailor on Etsy who makes fabulous clothes and I get a jolt whenever she releases new clothes because I absolutely want those things but I have to rationalise that just because I want them doesn't mean I have to have them right that second.
       
      #19 Jescissa, Mar 22, 2014
    20. I know it's easy for me to get carried away when I like something, and I noticed recently that it was starting to happen with dolls (buying more and more of them, using some of my general savings to pay for dolls). So I've now decided to restrict myself; I'm not allowed to buy anything I can make myself (like trousers and simple shirts and dresses) and the only resin I am allowed to buy for the foreseeable future is one SD body for a floating head that needs one, and then only if I can find a very affordable one. Other than that I am only allowing myself to trade, not to buy dolls. Because yes, I can see this turning into an addiction.
       
      #20 Little Lost Pixie, Mar 22, 2014
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