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Doll Bonding. Can you, or can't you?

Oct 3, 2010

    1. *Sorry mods, if there's another threads like this, of if this is in the wrong area. I did some searching and didn't find anything!*

      Bond -noun
      1. Something that binds, fastens, confines, or holds together.
      2. A close friendship that develops between adults, often as a result of intense experiences.


      So, I've been reading a few random threads on the forum, and have noticed a little bit of controversy about "Doll bonding." Some people say that it is an inanimate object, and that you can't bond with such things. That the whole idea is a little ridiculous. While others say they either do or don't bond with their dolls for various reasons. Sometimes to the point where they didn't bond with the doll at all and have to sell them. To me bonding is a term doll owners use to say weather they liked the doll, once they seen it in person, but I think maybe there are a few differences in the term. I myself have experienced "not being able to bond with a doll," and got a doll, that I just didn't like, or didn't 'bond' with, and ended up trading it for another one.

      I mean, at first when I seen pictures, I really liked the sculpt, but their face and body, and everything just seemed so different in person. Sometimes 2d pictures aren't enough to let you know if you will really like the doll or not.

      So let's debate about "Doll bonding," and what the term means shall we? Here are some questions for my fellow angels! :lol:

      Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?


      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?


      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?


      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?


      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?


      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
       
    2. Here's my answers!
      Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      I personally, think bonding has a lot to do with weather or not you'll like the doll enough to end up wanting to keep it around.

      What does the term
      "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      It basically means you either liked, or disliked the doll once you got it, right?

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I think it's a good term, but used a little differently in the dolly world, compared to the actual definition of the word.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      Yeah, I really liked the pictures, but the doll just looked so different, once I got it. So in the end I didn't bond with the doll. >>

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      In the end I traded that doll, for the one I have now, and I ended up "bonding" with the new doll!

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      To me no. I think you have to have some sort of a bond with the said object in order to like it. Like, my car for example. I'm bonded to it! lol, and I don't think I can ever manage to sell it.... even if it stopped running on me. xD But it's not in the same sense that I am bonded with my cat.. if you know what I mean?
       
    3. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?

      Well I haven't even received my first doll yet so this question doesn't really apply to me.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?

      This point was actually brought up in another thread, and I'll agree that bonding will mean different things to different people. At first this term baffled me to, considering when I think about bonding I think of something you do with another person, or perhaps an animal. But as I thought about it, I think the underlying idea behind bonding is whether or not one is satisfied with their purchase, and a lot of things can contribute to one not being satisfied. Bad experience with the company during ordering, wait, and shipping time, damage to the doll, the doll not looking like what you'd expected based on promo and other buyers pics, or the doll not fitting your original purpose for it.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?

      Considering I now take the term bonding at least in this hobby to be synonymous with whether the person was satisfied, it works.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      Not really. I think a person really bonds more with the idea or thought behind the object instead of the actual object itself. For example, a person who refuses to sell grandma's favorite chair because of all the good memories they have that involved them, grandma and that chair. The person hasn't so much bonded with the chair, but with the memories that chair brings back. So that's how I think it is with these doll. For so many people these dolls are used to house beloved characters, so once they do, and everything fits they bond with the doll, when what has really happened is that they already love or have some affection for said character and once the doll works for that character they just infer those feelings they had for the character onto the doll.
       
    4. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      Yes, I believe you can, though it's not forming a close friendship with it. It's just becoming attached to it.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?

      That you've grown attached to a doll. Sometimes you imbue it with a personality, or get a sense of one from it. In my experience, a doll a failed to bond with was just a doll I had, whereas my other doll is "my doll."

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I think bonding is a fine term. I can't think of any single word that could do a better job.
      Forming an attachment to an inanimate objects is a better descriptions, but it sure is a mouthful.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      Yes, I got an event head with my first doll and bought it a body. I didn't like her face very much, but I modded it slightly, did her faceup and even made and bought her some clothing. But for some reason I never liked her much. Maybe it was because I never had a bigger plan for her... My other doll, and my incoming doll, are both pre-existing characters that I'm just giving physical form to.
      The one I didn't bond with was just a doll. And not even one I ever really liked the look of...

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      Yeah, I did finally sell that doll I didn't bond with. I just didn't enjoy owning it at all. It sat on a shelf for over two years, completely untouched, while I played with my other doll. The final straw was when I picked her up and realized that for no apparent reason, her elastic had completely died, and her joints were all falling out of their sockets. :sigh
      That, and my husband would not let me buy another doll until I had sold her.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      I don't think so, but I come from a family with a serious tendency towards hoarding. I hate to throw anything away, and I actually feel sad when I see people destroy something, maybe as if I'm empathizing with the object what it would feel like to just be thrown away or destroyed.
       
    5. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?

      Yes, of course people can. It's a matter of having a strong attachment -- perfectly possible with a doll.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?

      It means having a strong attachment and connection to the doll.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?

      I think the term is fine -- most people seem to be able to understand it, and it's been used for as long as I've been in the hobby. I like the fact that in this hobby it's considered a positive to be attached to your doll -- that they're something really special. I think 'bonding' is a good word to denote that. I think the people who have a real issue with it's usage might be taking the term a bit too literally.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?

      Most of the time I've bonded -- sometimes it takes awhile to click, often because there are some details (eyes, wig, style etc) that aren't right yet, or story and character details that have yet to be worked out. What will keep me from bonding is not being able to settle on a character that can really hold my interest over time. Most of my dolls are preexisting characters for that reason -- those characters have withstood the test of time, and I know that when I get them doll bodies I will feel very connected to them. However, not every character I come up with will be that successful or work out as well being made into a doll. Because I'm very character/story oriented that will kill my ability to bond with the doll.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?

      I have a doll that I want to sell. The bonding issues are related to the fact that she doesn't fit in anywhere in the storyline, and I haven't been able to figure out a really compelling character that will make me want to keep her. She's just not a good match for me or the rest of my doll group.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      No, not at all. Something doesn't have to be a human or pet to feel strongly about it, though I find that I don't bond in the same way with other things I own. I think it has to do with the fact that A. Dolls are human shaped, and therefor seem closer to us, and B. ABJDs being highly customizable, they have a lot of work put into them. My dolls are not only beautiful, but they represent characters/stories/ideas that mean a lot to me. They're very special, because they aren't just hunks of resin -- they embody so much more than that. So naturally I feel a lot more strongly about them than other objects in my apartment -- even other collectible items that I really do like and enjoy. The more effort I put into my dolls, the more meaning they have to me, and they offer many opportunities to do that kind of creative work whether it's physically altering the doll or spending lots of time working out character details and stories. Bonding isn't a matter of animate vs inanimate, but the depth of feeling you can have to that particular thing.
       
    6. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?

      In my opinion, yes, you can.


      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?

      It means feeling a connection--if I pick up a doll and it makes me feel good, or happy, then I have "bonded".


      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?

      Words are just words--should we say "imprinting" or something else? It means whatever we want it to mean.


      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?

      Of course. Most of the time I connect right away, but there have been times when I wanted a doll badly, and when she came home the reality of her was not what I expected. If I can't name her, or I tend to just let them sit and not pick them up and dress them a lot, then I am not feeling the connection I expected to feel.


      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?

      ALWAYS. If a doll is a disappointment to me in that way, it is too expensive to leave sitting around getting dusty. Time to find a new home for it, and buy something else.


      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      No--don't people feel a bond, or emotional attachment, to things like antiques, or their wedding ring, or a photograph of a loved one? Most everyone bonds with inanimate objects of some kind--why is it wierd if it's a doll?
       
    7. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      I think you can. I think it is in whether or not you are happy and like the doll. I mean yes it is an inanimate object, but with a very human like face. This may sound a little weird but didn't you 'bond' or 'love' some of the dolls you had when you were little?
      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      I think it's really just how happy you are with your Bjd. I just got Chase recently and I'm absolutely in love with him. Now is this to say I love him in a human like way? No, I just love how beautiful he looks and I'm really happy to have him be a part of me you know?

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I imagine that there is probably a better word to use for it, but I'm not smart enough to think of one at the moment >_>

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      As I previously stated I have bonded with Chase, I love the silly boy to death and very happy that I purchased him. However he is my first so i can't say that I have ever not bonded with a bjd.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      Doesn't really apply to me but I think I could see how it would probably cause me to sell one. I mean why hold on to something you don't even like?

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      I don't really think it's really weird at all. I mean when we were kids we used to do it all the time so why not still do it now? I mean yes we are older and it may seem weird to a lot of people that we 'bond' or still loves 'dolls' but I mean being a little different from the norm is half the fun. I personally don't see anything wrong with 'bonding' with your bjd but on the flip side I could see how some people may find it so.
       
    8. Everyone is making good points and explanations already to the questions put forth. I'd just like to add that the term "bonding", I think, gives some people too high an expectation when they open the arriving box. If they get a doll and don't feel shivers/the giddiness of infatuation/fireworks immediately, they conclude that they're "not bonding". Well, even human-human love relationships don't all start off with fireworks. Sometimes you have to "get to know each other" over time. I wonder if some people aren't giving the process a chance (assuming that all went well with the ordering and shipping experience, of course, and the doll isn't defective in some way) because of overblown expectations of what they should instantly feel. And then we see sale threads like "Practically new, I've only had him here for a week. We're just not bonding."

      Since the term also often implies a 2-way relationship, I think that for some people it takes some of the blame (aka responsibility) off the human to phrase it that way. Not that "I'm dissatisfied with my purchase. The doll doesn't move/look/feel like I thought it would. I made a wrong choice for me and I'd like to try again," but "There's nothing I can do, *I* love him/her but we're not bonding." Surely, since the doll isn't capable of moving out on its own and we're actually calling the shots, we should own up to all the responsibility!
       
    9. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?

      Well, I'm not a native English speaker, so when I first read the word "bonding" it stuck with a meaning of "afecction", generally speaking. While I don't think it's the same bonding with a person than with a doll, I also believe it's possible to bond with your doll.
      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?

      To me, it means that I can get to love my doll, and that each and exeryone of us see that love as something different. It's like when you're a kid and think your toys are alive, then years after you open your old toybox and remember fondly.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?

      There are always better terms for everything, but we have all became used to this word. That it already has a meaning doesn't imply that it cannot get another one.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?

      At the moment, the three dolls I've got at home have been loved the very moment they came out of the box. But until I'm finished working on them and have played a bit with them I don't think I've "bonded" with them...

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?

      I would never be able to sell my dolls. I love them all, even if I were to not bond with all of them. Once they come home, they're here forever.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      Why should it? I think it's easier than bonding with people. You give your doll the name, personality and reactions you want them to have. If we bonded with them as children, why shouldn't be able to do that now? And why should it be weird? We have grown up, and that makes us wiser, not less imaginative or playful...
       
    10. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      I can bond with a doll.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      To me, the word "bonding" in the doll world means that I really like the doll and can't imagine giving them away.
      Just because its an inanimate object doesn't mean we can't become attached to it in an emotional way.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I don't think there's a better word than "bonding". At least at the top of my head.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I've bonded with the dolls I have. I can't imagine not having them. I just got my Pukifee Shiwoo back in mid September and found myself having a hard time bonding with him since DDE sent the wig and eyes meant for my friend's doll.
      I had to buy a new wig and eyes to put on him just to bond with him and now I love him to bits.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      I was about to consider selling my Pukifee despite just getting him recently until I was able to get him new eyes and wig instead of what was meant to be my friend's.
      It just didn't feel like he was mine when he didn't look like what I wanted.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      I don't find it weird at all for people to bond with inanimate objects.
      Think of the girls who can't go out without their favorite purse, or the guys who take great care of their hotrod cars, or the children who can't sleep well or at all unless they have that special plushie with them.
      I think those are examples of people bonding with inanimate objects.
       
    11. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      It's a tricky question really, I personally feel that bonding is really an emotional devices used for animals people and the like. I feel that dolls are like another possession and are ultimately inanimate even know we give them personalities and names and such. In my opinion bonding is more or less weather you actually like the doll or not.
      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      Bonding like said above means weather I like a particular sculpt or not.
      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I think people can feel whatever they want towards their dolls, if they can bond emotionally with them..I wouldn't think any
      less of them. I personally feel that the word bonding is a bit strong for an inanimate object, but then again that's just me. Like I said I feel that they are pieces of art that I can either Like or Dislike.
      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      A couple of time, I got caught up in "buying a doll" it happened to the best of us I suppose. With some dolls it's just a
      matter of getting the face up just right and then I absolutely love it.
      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      I prefer not to sell dolls but when I need the money or want a new one then it's necessary.
      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      I personally find it a bit strange but hey the world wouldn't be interesting without its querks. I remember reading in the news about a woman who fell in love with inanimate objects and actually married the effiel tower....now thats a bit strange!
       
    12. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      Since I've yet to see anyone satisfactorily define "bonding" as it is used in this hobby, I don't feel I can answer this.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      Not much, actually. I don't put much stock in it, or the ideas that seem to be behind it. My attachment to these dolls is multi-faceted: I care deeply about the characters they represent; I appreciate the dolls as representations of those characters; I appreciate the dolls as works of art; I appreciate the dolls as investments; I appreciate the dolls as art/craft projects that I enjoy putting time and effort into, and taking pictures of. But at the end of the day, they remain belongings, and if I decide to keep or sell them, it's a practical decision (though not necessarily without emotional components).

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I personally don't like it. It puts me in mind of soul-mates and life-partners and the like, which are relationships that I don't feel it is appropriate to attribute to an inanimate object. I think "I don't care for the doll" or "I've lost interest in the doll/am more interested in a different doll" is far more appropriate the "I can't bond with the doll."

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      Again, I don't feel I can answer this question, since I don't hold to the "bonding" mythos.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      No. As I said above, If I sell a doll it's a decision based on practicality and my own preferences, not a "bond" or lack thereof. And the decision to sell a doll doesn't mean I didn't adore the doll before I sold it, it just means I've decided my interests have changed.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      Since I don't like the term "bond," I'm going to say both yes and no to this one. Yes, I think it's strange to attribute the things implied by that term to anything not alive. However, people become very strongly attached to their belongings (humans are acquisitive by nature), as we see with children and their stuffed animals/blankets/cherished toys, and with adults and their classic cars/motorcycles/boats/etc. People expend tremendous amounts of energy on maintaining and improving their cherished possessions all the time - I don't view the way people in this hobby expend energy on their dolls as anything different. Of course, in those situations, people don't say that they're "bonded to their car" or that a child is "bonded to their blanket." I view the use of the term "bonding" in this hobby the same way I would if someone said they were "bonded to their motorcycle" - a bit awkward, and not really very representative of what they're actually trying to say.

      None of this means I have a problem with people who like the term, and use it, but I do wish it wasn't such an expectation in this hobby. Several times, I've put dolls and doll parts (heads) up for sale before and had people say things like, "Oh, you're not bonding with him/her? That's sad!" I don't view that as appropriate, because it implies that my relationship with my dolls and my participation in this hobby should be happening on someone else's terms.
       
    13. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      -Yes, you definately can. Even if the term isnt so much 'bonding' as per the definition, than it is 'making a(n) //often emotional// connection'

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      When you know that doll. You see a personality, you see... a soul? something that makes you say 'this is something important to me. This one, and even an identical mould would not be the same as this particular doll'
      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I think 'connection', like I said before, is a better word.
      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      I dont own one yet, but even over the internet... either something 'clicks' and a connection is made, or it doesnt and I feel nothing.
      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      Friends of mine have had this experience. They say that if there is no bond, then its not worth the money they paid for it, even if it is a beautiful doll.
      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?
      I personally dont think so. I mean, as children, didnt we do this? as adults... dont people have connections to their jewelery? or have a teddy bear they could never say good bye to? or a hat, a bag, etc that they have memories associated with and dont want to let go? its more... complex, with a doll, because you often associate a personality and soul with them, almost like they become a member of your family. I dont think its wrong, or weird, just not something thats casually discussed in public.
       
    14. I still have my bestickered, scratched up DS phat next to my bed even though I've had a lite for more than a year. I definitely bond with my stuff, even when it doesn't have a face. :)

      Based on how smitten I already am with my doll of choice I'm sure I'm gonna go crazy for her once she's here and I've sanded and painted her.
       
    15. Actually, I think that's a recognized mental illness that makes people see inanimate objects as real living beings, but I don't remember the name. I don't think it's the same as when we talk about bonding with a doll. Don't you have a favorite place to sit? Or a favorite dress/shirt/pants? I believe it's more or less the same, but with added playtime :D

      PS: I remember reading about a guy who married his pillowcase because it was painted with an anime girl or something... And they went to restaurants and all that... So yes, the world has its quirks...
       
    16. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?
      Anyone can bond with anything. I loved my doll before she even arrived. Her company pics were on my iPod, on my computer as wallpaper. This was mostly for me to not forget why I was trying to save $347, but I really think I loved her before I got her.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?
      Bonding... I guess, to me it means really loving something, that you have some sort of connection to it. Mothers bond with their babies most of the time - they've sheltered them, fed them, and cared for them for a long time. Isn't that what we're kind of doing here, too?

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?
      I like the term. As I said, we do a lot in preparation - to the point of obsession, sometimes - for these dolls. Little girls bond with their dolls, but we don't call them weird. I guess... maybe because dolls are shaped like humans, we bond faster to them on some sort of 'emotional' level than we would with something else. Of course, this might all go out the window, as some kids bond with blankets, and such. But it's a theory.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?
      As I said, I bonded quickly. But I'm actually staying away from her as of right now because I have a terrible head cold; I'm much more focused on feeling like I'm going to die of a stuffy nose and chest congestion than I am playing with her.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?
      I'd like to think I wouldn't sell a doll that I wasn't crazy about. It's one more doll to my family/collection, and I'd like to think that there's a part for everyone (especially since I have no set character/story going on).

      Though, I have sort of come up with a character - has no storyline, or anything; just a character that I have thought about. He has no name, but I have an image of what he'd look like. I' willing to see what happens - especially since it's going to take quite a long time to save up for this one...

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      Kids do it all the time. Sentimental value never leaves you.
       
    17. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?

      Not the same sort of bond you would have with another living being, no. Dolls can give no feedback, share no love, feel no happiness, except that which we project upon them. But attachments can be, and are, certainly formed.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?

      A strong attachment. A desire to hold the doll, dress it, admire it, and yes, sometimes talk to it and maybe even pretend it answers you. Chae-ri even writes letters to me, mostly notes of encouragement.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?

      "Bondng" is as good a term as any. Better than "attachment" or "one-sided affection", anyway.

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?

      With me, it's almost always an all-or-nothing thing. I either bond with a doll right away BOOM!, or it just doesn't happen.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?

      If a doll doesn't "speak" to you (in the bonding sense), if you actually regret having purchased it and/or keep it in a box all the time, isn't it better to send that doll to another home where he or she will be properly treated and bring someone else happiness?

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      Not at all. People get attached to their cars, to favorite books, to fictional characters, even to things like cell phones and laptops. Why not bond with a favorite doll?
       
    18. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll?

      According to your definition one I feel that it's possible to bond with a doll, but not according to definition 2

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you?

      This is a tricky question because different owners see the term differently. For me bonding is not done with the piece of plastic that my doll is made up of. When I bond I bond with the character that I've given the doll. So for me bonding occurs when the doll and the character I want to give it fit each other.

      I'm one of those owners who let the doll "tell me" who it wants to be. I know it is not the doll who actually tells me, however the characters don't seem to stick if I try to consciously control them.

      Bonding for me is not about whether or not the doll is pretty... I wouldn't have brought it home if it wasn't. (And besides I'd pick Quasimodo over Phoebus any day)

      The doll is a piece of plastic but the character is in part human, it is born from my ideas and my humanity and thus I feel it is possible to on some level get to know it or bond with it.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used?

      I really cannot think of a better word

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home?

      I need to bond with my dolls. I don't like them lying around characterless and I don't want to "force" characters on to them. It took me a year to bond with my first doll, one day I just knew who she was meant to be.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why?

      No, I let it take the time it took to bond with her.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object?

      There are weird ways to bond with an inanimate object, and there are non weird ways.
      Wanting to marry your microwave oven might not be healthy whereas a kid being attached to it's teddy bear is quite normal.

      In my bonding I don't believe the doll to be real, I don't attribute it human emotions and I acknowledge that it is a piece of plastic. How ever for me to want to keep this piece of plastic around it needs to embody a character and it is this characters "marriage" to a doll which makes me able to bond. Many writers "know" their characters and are attached to them... bonded if you will. I see nothing strange with it.
       
    19. Doll bonding. Can you or can't you bond with a doll? Sure you can. A bond is, essentially, an attachment, and you can certainly develop an emotional attachment to a doll.

      What does the term "bonding" in the doll world mean to you? I think it goes beyond just liking the size and sculpt and other physical attributes for a lot of people. It can also be connecting with the personality or character one perceives a doll has, or the accumulation of memories with particular dolls.

      What do you think of the term? Is there a better word that could be used? I've got no problem with the term, and the alternatives I can think of would sound even weirder. "Sparks" or "chemistry" might work okay, but they sound too romantic... I love my dolls, but not like that!

      Have you ever bonded, or not bonded with a doll once it arrived home? Yeah, 2 now, and it's the worst! The first one was a size problem- a 2 foot tall doll is just too big for me, so he was sold. Now I've got a mini girl with the same head sculpt as my mini boy, in the same color, but I'm not bonding with her- her character just isn't capturing my imagination like I thought she would, so she'll be going when I find a new home for her.

      Has not bonding with a doll caused you to sell it? Why? No point having something I'm not enjoying sit in my room collecting dust, when someone else could be loving it.

      Is it weird to be able to "bond" with an inanimate object? I don't think so, but I'm one of those people that personifies everything from my computer to the lock on my front door, and then talks to said items. Actually, I may not be in much position to judge the oddness of anything...
       
    20. I think Kiyakotari summed it up extremely well, and my thinking is along very similar lines.

      I do think it is possible for someone to 'bond' with a doll in the way many seem to define the term here (in this thread, or elsewhere) simply because humans are diverse and complicated creatures, as are our emotions. I think attachments can develop from an owner to their doll, and I don't think it's really unusual for people to become attached to their possessions or to anthropomorphize them to some extent or another. I've known people to name cars or computers and attribute 'personalities' to them, so this isn't something especially unique to the doll hobby -- I think it is amplified to some extent because dolls (generally) have a human, or at least mostly human, form.

      I think better terminology likely exists out there, in part because bonding seems to imply something more mutual than I think a doll is capable of. No disrespect meant to those who believe in the life or soul of their doll intended there, I simply don't share that view, and as a result I don't feel that a mutual bond can develop between an owner and their doll. I think 'attachment' works better -- or even something as simple as 'like' or 'dislike'. I tend to read, "I couldn't bond with the new arrival," as meaning, "when my doll arrived, something wasn't what I had expected or hoped for, so I didn't like it as much as I thought or hoped I would".

      'Bonding' is a very emotionally charged term, but there are a lot of them in this hobby, so it doesn't necessarily stand out to me. My personal view is that it is likely an outgrowth of some of the early marketing and practices of some of the earliest BJD companies, and the idea of adopting a doll with ceremonies performed and other ritualized additions to what could otherwise be a very basic process of 'pay money, get doll'. It seems to me that it was designed to be a bit more than that basic arrangement from the very beginning, so it doesn't particularly surprise me to see the more emotional language, ceremony, beliefs, or expectations that have either persisted or grown from that source (and others). Whether this started off as clever marketing, genuine belief, or a combination of the two, I don't know -- but I think those practices have definitely helped to shape this aspect of the hobby and the community. It isn't something I consider inherently good or bad, since I see the potential for both/either, depending on the specifics of any given situation, but it is a subject that's generally interesting to me from the broader view.