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Doll-Related Cold Feet?

Apr 4, 2015

    1. Okay, here's the gist of it all.
      I've found myself looking through a lot of BJDs over most of last year, not really planning on making a purchase. But then I came across a sculpt that called out to me, it felt like. It was love at first sight and I began obsessing until I finally caved and pressed that order button.
      During most of the wait, I had been totally invested. I have made three wigs, all completely ventilated by myself. And I had had hats done and outfit changes ready. The works!
      But now that her arrival is super close, after what feels like the 100th time I'd visited her page on Souldoll, I've found myself being nitpicky about her. I start to notice little things about her, her default faceup or her body that seem to irritate me.
      I'm hoping I'd still totally be in love with her when I actually do meet her in person. But I'm worried that the annoyance I feel now might not ever go away.

      So here goes:
      1.) Have you ever felt something like that? (Uhh.. Doll-related Cold Feet, maybe?)
      2.) How long did it take before you completely bonded with them?
      And what did you do to become closer to your new BJD?
      3.) Have you ever had a doll where you and it had just completely failed to bond? What happened after enough was enough?


      This is my first BJD, I don't really totally know what I am getting myself into yet, or what to expect and how I'd feel when she arrives.
      So I would love to hear about your experiences and input.
       
    2. I'm sort of in a similar situation but about a doll I haven't gotten yet. I'm in love with Dearmine's Dune sculpt, but there's multiple versions and I like them all. There's always one thing on one version that I like better on another version, but also something else that I like better on the one before it. I'd be happy to have any one of them, but I don't know which one would be the best. Should I get the basic version thats available now, or try to get an older limited version secondhand, or wait and see if they come with new limited versions that I may like even more. I'm pretty much obsessing mentally tearing my hair out over being so indecisive and unsure as to what I actually want to do. All I know is that I really really want a Dune.
       
    3. When my Doll Family H Lyre was delivered I was a little upset with him. I had asked for some custom work on his lips and it was not done the way I had wanted. I also could NOT visualize him as the character he was supposed to be. Luckily I swapped out his brown eyes for a darker brown and took a brush to his lips to fix them and that was all it took to make him work.

      It was hard because I was so happy he was there and I had him but I was also so frustrated with the ways he was "wrong". I have never failed to bond with a doll eventually but I have had those moments where I was afraid I wouldn't.

      On the flip side I have gotten a doll head that I was never supposed to have and bonded with it to the point that I couldn't give it up.
       
    4. @Geekachu I totally get that! I've never felt connected to any other doll before, so when I felt it, I decided to get her right away. Now that I've done more exploring, I see merits in others and faults for her. I hate it, I feel disloyal somehow. haha


      @Clorista Oooooo yes! That's exactly how I'm feeling, especially with the lip thing (her painted eyelashes and blush for me). Things I haven't really noticed before seem magnified. But I'm super glad you were able to successfully bond!
       
    5. I think/hope that when your dolls arrive, you will like them; especially if they are your first and you've only had photos to go off of. They're often more stunning in person! (Though I can understand being disappointed if you had a specific vision and requested specific alterations that weren't done properly.) The plus side is, imho, a big part of the hobby and bonding is putting in a little effort; even if you're happy with a doll, I think you often like them even more after changing eyes or altering face ups to perfectly match your vision. Hth! :)
       
    6. I can't answer all your questions but I feel like I am currently going through that. I ordered a doll chateau Matthew. The first time I saw him I FELL IN LOVE with him. The character I will be shelling into him was my most favorite and main character. I wanted him to have the perfect body and perfect doll! I LOVED DC's features and how slim they look and everything! My character is also quite slim and I love it. I visit Denver dolls each time to look at Matthew's face.....but just recently I start to worry.....what if the doll did not fit my character well? What if he is too short? too stylized for my taste? What if he is TOO SLIM?! I am worried at the moment...I LOVE DC Matthew so much but I am worried that he isn't the doll for my original character. I see owner pictures of him and I get worried....what if that adorable and gracefully sculpted face does not match? What should I do? what if it isn't the perfect doll after all? :(

      I really hope that I would bond with him once he gets here. The long wait also adds up to my worries....it's been so long, what if I have fallen out of love for him?
       
    7. 1.) Have you ever felt something like that? (Uhh.. Doll-related Cold Feet, maybe?)

      Absolutely, I already had a second-hand YOSD girl when I actually caved for an SD girl. I loved her so much that I ordered her right away but after I did I kept wondering if I made the right choice. She looked so sad on the official pictures, why would I want a girl that looks sad all the time. That's just depressing! I also ordered tons of extras for her, what if I didn't like her after all? When my girl finally arrived I wasn't really excited at all. I just unpacked her, looked at her and felt something was wrong. She is beautiful but not the girl I wanted for the character I had in mind. I was a tad dissapointed even.

      2.) How long did it take before you completely bonded with them?And what did you do to become closer to your new BJD?

      To be honest we haven't bonded so far. I'm mad at myself for ordering a doll on impulse like that. She is beautiful in her own way so I'm reluctant to give her up. I'm in the process of taking her out of her box more to let her speak to me and tell me who she actually is. I think if I stop forcing the character I had in mind onto her then everything will work out in the end. Every doll has a mind of its own, my first girl was much easier to work with.

      3.) Have you ever had a doll where you and it had just completely failed to bond? What happened after enough was enough?

      If we do fail to bond in the end I won't hesitate to sell her to a better owner. It's not fair to just let her rot away in a box. There are so many dolls out there that life's too short to force yourself to like a certain sculpt. Don't think of it as a mistake on your part but more as an experience to grow in the world of ball-jointed dolls. There's no shame in selling your doll, think of it as finding a better owner for her who will love her and care for her the way she deserves.

      I'm still finding my way in the BJD world and I'd love to end up with a single doll in the end. (Fat chance ;) ) Right now however I'm just exploring which size suits me best. I'm already thinking of a third doll to add to the collection. Not sure if I'm the best person out there to give you advice. However, don't worry about liking your first doll. I was absolutely blown out of the water by my first doll, she was so precious and gorgeous. I'm sure you'll love the new arrival.




       
    8. 1.) Have you ever felt something like that? (Uhh.. Doll-related Cold Feet, maybe?)

      Uh yeah, not so much with the whole doll but with heads...

      2.) How long did it take before you completely bonded with them?And what did you do to become closer to your new BJD?

      I still haven't. They're heads in a box, shrug

      3.) Have you ever had a doll where you and it had just completely failed to bond? What happened after enough was enough?

      A body you can always use. I never get rid of bodies, even ones I'm not crazy about they can be modded and used. The two heads I'll probably never use them but they're not popular heads and I doubt I could sell or trade them so likely they'll just stay in a box somewhere and I will use their bodies for heads I like...

       
    9. @angelmecha I think that might be the problem right there. Over the wait, I seemed to have developed a very rigid idea about what she 'should' be like, and I can get so hung up about the little details that I find myself obsessing. The train of thought of @kimbapchan is very familiar, as I am going through it myself.
      But it does seem like you're right about this. I've heard many times that the hobby is about getting a sculpt and a body and that the joy of it is making it your own, i.e. as close to that image or character in your head as possible.

      @Siara As much as I am hoping to be blown away and swept off my feet first glance, I should allow for her to be more flexible. I'm sure there is always a happy medium between who I see her as, and who the sculpt has to be. And what you said about letting go of a doll if it doesn't work out, albeit sad, is actually very comforting.
      I'm hoping it would never come to it, but if it does, any doll should deserve someone who could connect with her and elevate her in the process.
       
    10. My first doll I bought from an online friend. While I was waiting for her to arrive (it was about a week) I kept going back and looking at the pictures she'd taken of her and doing the same thing - sort of picking her apart and wondering if I'd done the right thing. But when she arrived and I took her out of the box, I just melted. She was so much more beautiful in real life. I'd never seen a BJD in real life and photos really didn't do her justice.

      On the other hand, I have another doll who I just couldn't seem to bond with until I tried a wig on her that had looked terrible on every other doll I have. It was absolutely perfect on her and she just came to life right there. But it took a month of trying different wigs and eyes before it happened.
       
    11. 1.) Have you ever felt something like that? (Uhh.. Doll-related Cold Feet, maybe?)

      Yes, a couple of times. With my first doll I started reading things about Dream of Doll's resin that worried me. Another time I bought a doll because I fell for pictures of someone else's doll and it was an LE that was unavailable. Then that person found one from some little web site and I nabbed her. Then started to wonder if that was too quick...

      2.) How long did it take before you completely bonded with them?
      In the case of my first doll, I was disappointed because the photos on DoD's site made the doll look white but she was normal skin. But I bonded with her pretty quickly. And what did you do to become closer to your new BJD?
      Sometimes clothes or wigs make a huge difference as you try to figure our their character. Sometimes they don't become who you expect but do become someone else. With other dolls sometimes I've had to try different clothes than what I expect.

      3.) Have you ever had a doll where you and it had just completely failed to bond? What happened after enough was enough?
      In the second case above, I couldn't bond. I tried different things but she seemed to have a mind of her own and never fit it. I ended up trading her on the MP and got a doll I adore in return from a company whose doll's I hadn't considered and now own several. So sometimes the process leads you to new things. I've had other dolls that didn't work out and sold them and they funded ones that did. So sometimes it's a process.

      I would say not to worry about it. When the doll comes it will be exciting and sometimes it's holding one that makes the connection happen. For myself and many others in the hobby oftentimes they have a life of their own and you can be affected differently and so sometimes you have to relax and let it happen to you. Sometimes I don't pick out a name until after I've had a doll for awhile. In a recent case I didn't even open the box for two months. I was busy and I didn't have anything figured out for the doll and it had been a long layaway so it was 8 months later. Once I started thinking of a box opening and prepared for that a name and a character emerged and even after I got the box opening done it shifted even further. If you're open to such things I think creativity will lead you places.
       
    12. I am feeling the same thing.
      I ordered my first doll yesterday and I am super excited!
      But I am noticing small things that irritate me.

      I'm worried that I won't like him that much in person..
      Even though I loved this doll for like 6 years.
       
    13. I just received my first doll, and I can definitely relate. She wasn't even the type of sculpt I was originally looking for, but I just couldn't take my eyes off her, and I knew she was the one.

      After I got her, I noticed little things about her that still haven't stopped bothering me (tiny flaws in her face-up, her wig is starting to get wavy at the base). But I'm still so in love with her. I know if I could "do it over," I would definitely buy her again.

      I'm sure you'll love your doll! The nerves can just get under your skin, sometimes.
       
    14. I did with my first doll and my bond with her is still a bit off, I can't give her up but certain things about her are off. And I was going to get a Dollzone Litchi and then found a Nyu on the marketplace and snapped her up the same day because she was perfect for my character minus the custom face up she is sporting.
       
    15. I got a MAJOR case of cold feet recently when ordering my first MSD size.

      See, I only have a tiny at home. I didn't want dolls of a bigger size, or expect to fall in love with them. But then Angel Fantasy Lena hit me like a truck on a highway, and oh boy, I had to have her :) however after figuring out an outfit for her, and a wig, and shoes, and putting her in the cart, and taking her through checkout...suddenly, I froze.

      It was so much money. What if I didn't like a doll that size? What if I didn't like her body? What if she wasn't as pretty with the wig and eyes I'd chosen as she is in the promo pics? And so on.

      But the thing is, you never know until you try. If I'd chickened out I would have spent forever thinking about Lena. And I would have ended up with an MSD size eventually, because there are just too damn many on my wishlist :lol: the best I figure is, I've ordered her, and hopefully I'll love her. But if I don't...hey, that's what the marketplace is for. And yes it's a lot of money, but my first BJD was so, so worth it and is just the most beautiful, precious thing in person. So it's okay to feel cold feet, it's normal, but sometimes you just gotta take a deep breath and jump in and hopefully you will love your doll more than you ever dreamed :)

      The fact that we do all our browsing, choosing and buying long-distance is the thrill, and the greatest curse, of this hobby!