1. Become a DoA Archivist!
    Volunteers Needed!
    Dismiss Notice
  2. The Mod team regrets to inform the community that Mirodoll is now banned from Den of Angels. Please view the following thread:
    Mirodoll Banned from DoA
    Dismiss Notice

Dolls and your own body image

Oct 20, 2011

    1. Please remove if this is a duplicate or inappropriate :)


      Let me tell you my own little story:
      I have been overweight for a few years and after I had my son, I kind of felt like it might be hopeless to ever go back to how I once looked. I had totally given up on my appearance. Then I got my first BJD and I was INSPIRED! Instead of feeling blah about my own body I was so drawn into the beauty of BJDs it really set a fire under me. I wanted to look like them, too. I wanted to dress like they did! I wanted hair like they did! I wanted makeup like they did!
      I was never very interested in being fashionable or current. I just had my own boring jeans and t shirt style with a ponytail hair, but my dolls have inspired me to resemble them. Long story short, It took a lot of work, but I have lost a lot of weight and I really am getting back to how I looked before, all thanks to the inspiration of my dolls.

      Questions: Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?
      Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)
      Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
      Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?

      edit: I guess I should answer my own questions!
      Because I want to look like my dolls I decided to lose weight and change my appearance from what it was before. I did not undergo cosmetic surgery, but I think if I had the funds I would have! I don't feel resentful of my dolls for how beautiful they are, because I hold them and I touch them I want to be beautiful like them too, also a piece of art. I think that society has a lot to do with how we see beauty, but there is nothing wrong with deciding who you want to be! If I were happy being overweight or in sweatpants, I would have stayed that way, but because I wasn't happy with myself, I can't blame society for not putting me on the cover of Vogue :sweat
       
    2. I have developed a mild desire for pink hair ,but that is about it. But.. I am an old fart and I am just glad to be able to get up in the morning! But I applaud your inspiration to be healthy! I'm glad the dolls made you consider what would make you feel better about yourself.

      Actually, in re-reading your post I have a serious answer. Once you get to be a certain age, your priorities change..a lot. You see beauty very differently in old age than you do at age 20, and you value things so differently. Life is very fragile and impermanent. No matter what shape you are, enjoy being alive. Treasure your joys and your friends..and your dolls!
       
    3. This brings the mind the woman who wanted to look like a Barbie. I remember I followed that story wondering WHY she would want to do that because, even though people are quick to blame Barbie for creating a society of self-conscious girls/women, I always viewed Barbie as this unrealistic caricature of the female body and just a doll. I never viewed her as something to aspire to, even at my worst self-conscious moments.

      Now, while I don't think the same of BJDs, necessarily (the Iplehouse EID girls come to mind because their bodies are AMAZING), I still view my dolls as dolls and these separate entities that exist in this vacuum of doll-ness. They will sometimes inspire me to want to dye my hair pink or blue or bleach it white but that's pretty much it. :D

      But, the doll community ITSELF makes me want to better my body. I am a very self-conscious person, to a almost painful degree, but having dolls and meeting so many wonderful doll people makes me want to put myself out there more and, in that respect, that is part of what is fueling me to lose weight at the moment. Getting into dolls, strange as it may seem, has made me want to be MORE social and more out there and I would feel better doing that at a different size. :D
       
    4. I kinda get where you're coming from but in a different way.

      I used to want to look like all the "thin" and immaculate girls you see on the TV. I'm nowhere near overweight. I'm a UK size 12, which is considered an average in the UK. Now, if you consider that back in the days of Marilyn Monroe, a woman who was iconised for her sexy figure, She was close to a UK size 16, might have even been an 18.

      That size in the UK nowadays is considered overweight, regardless of the fact that there are actually women who are very tall and very broad in the skeleton, who are a size UK 20 and have a dynamite body.

      I'm a very curvy woman naturally. I have wide hips, wide shoulders and I'm fairly short, not really short but just a smidge under average. My legs are a bit fatty and my butt could be smaller but otherwise, I'm told I look pretty good.

      Regardless of this, I'd MUCH rather look like a dude! (I do have gender issues and I'm likely a male identified female) So I'd rather look like...say:

      Soom Sabik, Luts El, Luts Shiwoo. Gothy, punky and slightly emaciated XD.

      I guess I reflect this in my dolls. Well the 2 SD's I want to get have a bit of a backstory in that subject and are both male. I have a female MSD who is very tom boy.

      I don't think it's a bad thing that an object can help you become who you want to be. I think it's actually really good, it's better than bottling it up and never doing something about it!

      It's great that it's helped you in that way though. I'm currently dropping some weight and toning up myself! and my dolls have helped me to "visualise"? that I suppose.
       
    5. I was slim and attractive (not a model or anything, but, pretty decent if I do say so myself, lol) before I got pregnant this spring (I hope to get back in shape after I finish breastfeeding ^^). I look young for my age and have really big eyes. I used to dye my hair all kinds of colors, I have piercings and when I can I dress lolita or punky (these are all things I was into before I got into dolls). So I kind of have the opposite reaction, I'm attracted mostly to dolls and things that look similar to me, or are reminiscent of things I already had in my life before. They inspire me with the fashions available to them... but they don't seem to make these types of clothes for humans... not easy to find, anyway.

      You are right though, I think the dolls are a good reminder of ideals, and will help me keep me in check of my figure as I age. I'm not naturally as slim as I usually try to keep myself, it does take effort, so yes, I think the dolls probably help me keep my goals in mind. :)
       
    6. Have you ever felt that you wanted to look just like your dolls?
      No.

      Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
      Not at all.

      Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
      I've never sensed any pressure for me to look like my dolls do.


      I will admit that my dolls have kind of inspired me to be a bit more fashion-forward. I'm more willing to experiment with more styles of clothes.
       
    7. Except for one, all my dolls are male. The one girl is a 12-year-old. I don't want to look like any of them, nor do I resent their skinny hawtness -- I just like looking at it! It does let me play around with clothes, especially male clothes, that I would never wear. ABJDs don't seem to have a direct line to my body image for me, because I'm generally creating characters I want to look at, not to be.
       
    8. Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?
      Yeah... well not my dolls, but A doll. I'd love to look like Soom Dia. But this thought was always just a transient dreamy kind of thing.

      Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)
      No. I wear "goth", but not the fancy kind of it, so it is not what the majority of dolls wear. Just lots of black. I am thin, but not sexy-curvy, and I don't think I want to change that, because a boob job is just not what I would want in my life. Hmmm, I don't even use make-up. So I don't look like a doll and I don't intend to.

      Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?

      No! I love my dolls! I love to look and touch beautiful things, it is much more interesting that trying to be beautiful myself (believe me, I tried, and it was not fun ^^)

      Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
      Hmmm. Society-wise? I hate the fact that "pretty" people even earn more money than "less pretty" ones. But then again, men earn more money than women too, so the "lookism" is rather second or tenth on my list of things to be changed in the world, far after racism and discrimination of females.
      But dolls? They don't influence much, I think.
       
    9. I have body image issues, but I wouldn't say it has anything to do with my dolls. Although most of my dolls are pretty young characters, and I do consider myself younger than my actual age, sort of like my own inner child, but I'd say that's the only connection really. I definitely have never resented my dolls for looking the way they do, if anything, perhaps I've styled them the way I want to look, but I could never resent them for that.
       
    10. My dolls are in looks what I'm not. I used to do costuming as part of live action role playing, but my own body is quite limited as it's not like I can switch gender, age, height, weight, skin colour, etc. in a second. ;) I find it really hard to photograph myself when wearing my costumes and make-up, but I can easily photograph my dolls wearing the outfits and face-ups I made.
      My dolls have also inspired me to wear some wigs myself. ^_^ Other than that they inspire me creatively, but they don't inspire me to change the way I look.
       
    11. i'm old enough and secure enough (most of the time;)) to not try to live up to an "ideal". i tend to get the dolls because they are beautiful and fun to dress in ways i would never bother to myself. (getting my hair cut gives me migraines and in my life it is just more pratical/comfortable to live in t-shirts and jeans/sweats which i prefer anyway!) but i love giving each of my kids a style of there own and let them wear things sometimes that i wouldn't be caught dead in!
       
    12. I thinkd dolls are supposed ot be idealized versions of outselves so i think I purchate dolls that reflect my own vanity of how I would like to look if I could choose my own body, hair and facial features much like you do a doll. So maybe I have dollbody envy, I admit it, but I love the way that the bodies are sculpted and the way they pose and photograph.
       
    13. Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls? Oh, absolutely! I would LOVE to look like Loki (DZ Mo-B) or Amir (AoD Chen) or my friend's boy, Spencer (BBD Waltz).
      Have you done anything about it?
      um...no, because this would require not only extreme cosmetic surgery, but also a sex change....and while that might be something I would consider, I don't think my husband would appreciate it.the only thing I have in common with any of them is that I have mismatched green eyes like Amir's (left is darker, but mine is barely noticeable, sometimes not at all, his is pretty drastic)
      Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
      no, I've come to accept who I am and that I am not a resin boy
      Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
      yes, I do. I think it's ridiculous that the media sets a certain standard idea of beauty and anything falling outside of that is considered ugly. Personally, I don't think the stick thin models with no shape and vacant looks are the least bit attractive, yet I find some of the most attractive people to be nowhere near society's qualifications.
       
    14. Though I am on a diet, and trying to get in shape, I've been trying since way before getting a BJD. I do not feel that I have to look like her, but sometimes when I dress her up, I go "I wish I looked that cute wearing jeans and a sweater!!" because quite frankly, I don't. I don't feel pressure to conform to her proportions by society, I just want to look better. I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny either. I'll never look like my doll, but I know one thing: If I try hard enough, I might look good in their clothing style someday and I'll definitely be able to bench more pounds than they will!
       
    15. This is a great question actually! My doll's look and playing around with their clothing, hair and accessoiries is what I love most about them. I also love dressing myself up and finding fun combinations in clothing, shoes etc! Many of my dolls reflect my own clothing style at some point, my Seimei is how I used to dress when I was still in school(kinda shabby chic/hobo), my Chiwoo is how I'd like to dress if it wasn't amazingly unpractical(big dresses, epic detailed clothes!)and my Zaoll Muse I think is the closest how I dress, short dresses, always colourful stockings, colourful nails..except she is more fetishy than I am in daily life, heheh. I did 'cosplay' my Zaoll's character once, and made a corset for myself that made my hips seem even bigger, just like hers.

      But about the body type thing, I look a bit like a Zaoll, not so tall, proportionally fairly wide hips, small breasts, small frame(except proportionally my legs are longer-and just like my Zaoll I always wear heels XD) And honestly, I'm fine with that! I think one of the reasons I like Zaolls so much(and I like making clothes for Zaolls a lot)is because it's like dressing myself. I think there are a lot of different body shapes in BJD, and there's not really one ideal. I love how vavavoom the Iple girls look, I love the wasp waisted look of the SD16, I adore the chubbyness of the SD10 girls...but I don't aspire to be like any of them. It's like seeing pretty girls on the street, I think it's wonderful to look at, but I'm happy with my own body and I don't want to look any other way.

      I do think it's wonderful if the beauty of these dolls can inspire you to have fun with how you look or be motivated to lose weight if you need it, but I think one should always keep in mind our dolls are ideals, sculptures, made to be enjoyed but it's not neccessary to mold ourselves after them in order to be beautiful or happy.
       
    16. Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)

      I eat healthy and exercise for my own benefit. Not for the benefit of my parents, or my friends, or my dolls. Mine. Because really, I'm the only one that gets anything out of it. If I drop 40 pounds it might make my friend happy. But I'm the one who is going to have more energy. Don't get me wrong. If dolls are what motivates you to exercise, great! Whatever gets you moving.

      Besides, a good chunk of my dolls have fantasy bits. No matter what I do I can't grow dragon legs. ;)

      Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?

      No. Never. And to be honest the idea really squicks me out. Are you really telling me you want to look like some mass produced piece of plastic? Be proud of who you are! That includes all the squishy and/or imperfect parts. And don't waste brain cells resenting an overgrown toy.

      Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?

      Again, no. And I'm wondering if this is an age-based thing. Several people have commented that they're old enough to not try to live up to some youthful "perfect" ideal. I suppose
       
    17. Well, I was about slimming long before I learned about ABJDs. A long way is already covered.

      At first I thought that ABJDs looked all the same - be they male or female, just an extremely thin, androgynous body.

      Then I saw Iplehouse EID women. And I just thought "wow", I just love these curvy, mature bodies. If I only could loose another 10 kgs, my body would not look THAT unsimilar to them - broad hips and wide shoulders (this cannot be changed, I felt very bad about that during youth and young adulthood). Their only fault is that they are a tad too tall.

      And I decided following: If ever another BJD will enter our doorstep, then only a woman with a very curvy body. I searched particularly for this feature, and already discovered the one or other lady which may be a possiblity.
       
    18. You said all of this better that I was going to. :)
       
    19. Very interesting topic!!

      Have you ever felt that You wanted to look just like your dolls?
      No. My doll family consists mostly of cute tiny BJDs, mainly baby-like characters. They do not represent my aesthetic sense of humane beauty; they satisfy my sense of cuteness,... some people say I'm kind of cute too :).

      Have you done anything about it? (Whether that is weight loss or gain, cosmetic surgery, clothes, hair, or other body modification)
      I'm really content with my looks, never really cared about how other people look. Sounds like a cliché, but it's the heart and the way of thinking that makes people beautiful in my eyes. I've been hurt many times by people that look beautiful on the outside, why should I care if someone is overweight or has a crooked nose if he/she is a nice person? Actually, I don't find "beautiful" dolls appealing enough to buy them and never felt the urge to style myself like that or to loose/gain weight to look like them. I don't care a lot about clothes (they have to be warm, comfortable and clean :sweat).

      Do you feel resentful of your dolls that you may never look the way that they do?
      Referring to above-said things: no :).

      Do you feel that there is too much pressure to conform to how these dolls look and in effect, the way that our society sees beauty?
      There is definitely too much valuation of "beauty" in our society, but dolls are no big influence in my opinion. I should add that I have been in the "model business" for quite some time which might has affected my view on aethetics a lot. I became quite disenchanted with conventional concept of being beautiful.
       
    20. Wow, there are so many great answers!
      I would like to mention that I am not aspiring to be "perfect, mass produced plastic" to the extreme of the woman who had made herself look like a Barbie through cosmetic surgery. I am old enough to be happy with my own self and accept my body for what it is, and that is what I had been doing previously.

      But I just came to the point that there was a difference between accepting and changing. I know I will never look like exactly like my dolls! I wouldn't want to anyway. Plus, I have all kinds of pregnancy battle scars that I wear as a badge of honor. My SD16 is pretty unnaturally shaped, my other dolls are very very skinny! But they are giving me so much inspiration.
      Mostly it was the clothes. I felt that I could never pull off such cool outfits with me being overweight. I wanted to do something about it, and so I did.

      Of course I have incredible energy now, eating healthier, made so many awesome friends at the gym that I go to regularly, and I can wear much nicer clothes, finally!!! (No more shopping in the maternity/plus sized section). But I have to be honest it was my dolls that got me going. They were what finally pounded that nail in my coffin of mediocre acceptance of who I am.

      There is nothing wrong with loving your body! You should always love your body, no matter what shape or size. I am definitely not pointing fingers at those who choose to or can not change their body type due to a very huge myriad of reasons. I am only talking about what you would be willing to do to look like your doll, if you wanted to enough.