Easing Someone into the BJD Hobby?

It takes some time for people to accept this hobby, especially since it's so expensive. I had to tell my parents about it and I remember how awful it was. But, when they saw how much I love my dolls, it got better. My best advice is to tell him how much the doll means to you or will mean to you, and maybe explain why you want one. With my parents, I had to ask them to respect my love for my dolls, and when I explained what they meant, the teasing stopped. I hope this helped.

 

My boyfriend doesnt really understand my love for the hobby, but 7 months after buying me my first doll for christmas he has his ownn doll. I think i corrupted him .______. Lol, have to buy his doll a second body so he can sculpt his own armor design now, since thats what he has decided he wants

 

Surprisingly enough, the only person in my life who told me it was creepy was probably the most important one, my best friend. However, even as silly as some of my other friends thought it was, the moment I held my first doll in my hands - their tune quickly changed. Now they want one.

Even if he 'doesn't get it' I'm sure that once he sees how happy and passionate they make you, he'll start to accept it.

 

My husband makes fun of my dolls and teases me about them, but he teases about everything, that's just part of who he is. He knows that they are great fun for me, and as he would say, he "teases because he loves". He has very little interest in them, but he indulges my hobbies, as a partner should. He thought the hobby was a bit odd at first, but he knows it's great fun for me, and he thinks my local bjd friends are amazing, so after years of being in the hobby, he enjoys the aspects of it that have an impact on his life (which is not much, except a crew of new clever friends who he enjoys seeing!). For the most part though, bjd's are my deal, not his, and I'll admire his new golf club in the same way he'll admire my new "girl" (who of course, is a boy...and his new golf club might be a baseball bat for all I know, but whatever...).
My point is, your boyfriend does not need to be "eased" into your hobby, it's YOUR hobby, not his. He does need to have respect for the things you love to do, even if they seem silly to him. To me, one of the things that makes a person interesting is that they have passions in their life. If your boyfriend wants to dampen your passion, or destroy it, then he's not a person you want to spend your life with. But, if part of the reason he finds you interesting is because you have passions, but he likes to tease you about it, then maybe he just "teases because he loves"!

 

Take it slow, give it time. I had a friend that was terrified of my dolls when she first saw them, so much that I had to put a blanket over one of my dolls when we stayed in the same room for a convention. Slowly, she began getting used to seeing my doll, and then we started browsing BJD sites together. She fell in love with a few sculpts and suddenly she began to LOVE BJDs and now she even owns one of her own.

My family just took time to get used to it.

Some friends in high school were downright mean when they learned about my hobby, but I've cut them out of my life. This is therapeutic for me, and if they can't accept what I like or respect me enough to be polite, they aren't worth my time.

The one person who has never questioned or voiced disapproval of my hobby is my boyfriend of two years. He's been supportive through and through and even paid half of the cost for my ImplDoll Aimee for my birthday last year when we were at a con.

 

As long as you are able to pay your share of the bills, he really doesn't have any reason to fuss and fret over what you spend your spare money on.

I tried to involve Azhrei in my doll interest, but so far, no luck. I thought that maybe if I asked his opinion on different aspects of choosing the perfect doll, he might be interested. After all, Elizabeth is an RP character that I have played with him before. He has a mental investment in the character. I thought that maybe seeing her come to life would interest him.

But maybe Zeike is different. Do you guys have a character that you may have RPd with him that he might have an attachment to? If so, maybe you could see if my idea would work with him. Even if you don't have any plans to buy the doll at all, or any time soon, maybe show him different aspects of the doll and ask him "does this make you think of my character? Which face looks more like how you imagine her? How about this wig?" Maybe for him, he would be more interested in the familiar character coming to life.

I'm crossing my fingers that when I actually do get to order Liz, that Azhrei likes her more when she arrives. I would LOVE for him to want to have one of his characters brought to life. That would honestly thrill me. Right now though, I don't think that will happen.

 

Hi MoonHawke,

It's fantastic that you want to help your significant other understand the hobby, and you've received some good advice from members here. This topic is something more suited to a personal blog or livejournal, so I'm locking it up. Trust is something important in relationships; perhaps if you explain it from this angle, he will see that you trust him to understand your hobby and love you anyways.

Best of luck,
Laelen