Ever feel selfish for owning a BJD?

You would rather spend money on other things such as?? you don't need to spend money on anything else except for food and clothes, the rest is selfishness.

What's important is that you enjoy it. I don't own a tv because I don't watch tv and I rather spend my money on dolls than jewelry but some people see a tv or jewelry more important because that's what they like.

I think there's a thread somewhere about this...

 

If you paid for your dolls with your own money then there is nothing selfish about it. And that regardless of if dolls bring you joy or you just bought them for decorative purposes. However if you had, lets say, talked your parents into buying them for you when you knew your family needed the money (and we are talking needed, as in to pay debts, bills or food.) for something else, then yes I'd call that selfishness.

Of course you could put in this extreme perspective: Instead of buying a doll that brings you joy (something that is not really essential for staying alive) you could have donated the same sum of money to children in a dirt-poor country knowing it would keep them with food and shelther for months, maybe even a education. But... that kind of thinking is only going to ruin you in the long run.

IOW: If you paid for it yourself, and buying it didn't negatively affect the economy of someone else, then it's not selfish of you. (At least in my slightly ego-centric mind.)

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Oh look at that, I forgot to actually answer the topic question. Ooops >P
No, I don't feel selfish for owning a BJD, it's my money and he brings me happiness so why should I?

 

I've felt that way before I never really thought about it because I only need to afford my boyfriend and I (which my boyfriend makes far better money than I) so he usually covered the necessities and I could afford what I wanted. But he promised he would buy me a doll as an anniversary present and so far he has been putting it off but I ordered one already so I am trying not to be a bother. But what really got to me is when I met his grandparents and I was trying to let them know what I liked and when I told them he was going to buy me a BJD they flipped out saying how "He needs money for his dental work because his teeth are all messed up and it will be expensive and you want to buy DOLLS?!" I felt really awful when she put it that way... but we already agreed his mom was going to pay for his dental work and my boyfriend would pay her back... He makes a lot of money so he could have that in no time... so should I feel guilty about something like that?

 

Sort of. I don't really feel guilty? But, I usually get my family TRYING to guilt-trip me over my hobby.

"That's an awful lot of money to be spending..."

Et cetera et cetera ad nauseum.

The attempted guilt-tripping tends to make me more angry than anything else. It's my money and I'm an adult and therefore free to make my own choices.

Though, attempts at guilt-tripping me tend to make me more angry than anything else in general.

....So....uh....

....Sorry, I think I veered offtopic. >.>;

 

http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?435709-Having-a-doll-being-selfish
http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?186308-Dolls-and-money-guilt-trips-over-spending

 

NOPE!!
BJDs are a great source of happiness to me. They aren't worth it if I feel bad or guilty about them. As long as I am not putting dolls before necessities, or well-being of my family, I'm good!

 

Only when something happens that means we need money right after I purchased a doll. Like the car going out and needing repairs or the air conditioner going out. Sometimes I look at how much I've spent on them in the last 3 1/2 years, and think I could have put that money away for my kids in their college funds instead. Then I realize mommy would have gone CRAZY without something of her own to do and enjoy, and that thought goes right out the window! Besides, the boys have pretty good college funds going for themselves already, considering they're 6 and 3. No...I feel WAY worse when I agree to eating out then realize I could have just buckled down and cooked for the family instead, and used THAT money on the kids.

 

I've barely bought my first BJD and already I'm getting crap from family and friends and it makes me second guess if it was worth getting my doll. I mean, I never wasted my money on myself except for my necessities. And just this once, this one time, I buy myself something expensive and I'm quickly judge as being stupid. On being wasteful. It's not really being stupid or wasteful if you enjoy your doll right? I just wish they could see that.

 

Sometimes I do, especially when something comes up where the money I've spent on dolls could really come in handy. Of course I've experienced the same feeling with my video games and electronics, so it doesn't get to bad. I've learned to accept that my happiness is just as important as money.

 

I feel selfish anytime I buy anything that's just for me, but I'm pretty sure that's to do with questionable parenting and low self-esteem. But buying dolls is a rare treat for me, and I don't feel nearly as bad about spoiling them now that my fiancee has dolls for me to spoil, too!

But in general, I don't think it's selfish or wasteful to spend money you have to spare on something nice for yourself once in a while. And a lot of times, people who'll criticize this kind of thing end up being the same kind of people who would applaud you if it were for something they thought was 'practical'. >_> I've had people tell me in the same breath that I wasted my money on dolls, but should've bought a new laptop instead, when neither is a necessity.

 

NO. I never feel selfish for buying a doll. At all. It's my money, I worked for it, as long as bills are paid, I have a certain amount from each check that I put into the dolls. That's my play money that I earned. I've had people TRY to guilt trip me for it, but they failed miserably. My parents have done the whole "It's so expensive, you should get stuff you need first".....well...I HAVE what I need, I can afford to play. Or "You should save your money"....I also have a savings account with a pretty decent chunk set back for emergencies. What would be the point in working all the time if I never get to enjoy life?

The whole "donate to charity" is lost on me as well. Yes, I've been called selfish for it, but the way I see it is that when I was out of a job and didn't have anything extra to spend, nobody was jumping in to hand me money or help out. I never asked anybody to give up their hobbies or stop doing what they enjoyed just because I couldn't. I think that actually would have been much MORE selfish of me, to expect them to stop having fun just because of my personal problems.

The only time I think it actually would be selfish to buy dolls is, as sanachii said, is if you asked somebody else to buy it for you, especially if they really needed that money for something important. I can't stand that whole entitled attitude of "I want it, so this person should get it for me."

 

I got my first BJD (an Obitsu Gretel) during an extremely stessful time in my life and having her really helped me relieve stress. Instead of spending the $200 (at that time) that she cost, I could have:
1. Had about two sessions of therapy.
2. Gone to Starbucks three times a week for three months.
3. Gotten drunk at a bar six or eight times.
4. Gotten a really good haircut, manicure and pedicure once.
5. Paid for about half of a ski trip.
6. Played golf four times.
7. Bought some illegal drugs.
8. Collected all kinds of things- from model trains to beer steins to antique silver to whatever.

And any number of other things. My mortgage was paid, daughter's college tuition paid, braces paid for, food on the table, gas, water, electric and cable bills paid.

Most people do any or all of the above without even blinking and if you told people you were spending money to do any of those things, they wouldn't think anything about it. I get my hair cut about once or twice a year. I don't drink alcohol or take drugs and I don't go to Starbucks. I don't do any expensive sports, and I'm not in therapy.

Having these dolls has literally saved my life through some really difficult times, because I find "playing" with them, making clothes for them, doing photostories, etc. really helps me relieve stress. There are a lot of other things people do for stress that are way more expensive and either dangerous or unhealthy.

So in my opinion, money on a doll, if it is going to help you deal with your life, is money well-spent.

And- frankly, it is no one else's business what you do with your money.

 

I don't feel selfish. I'd probably feel selfish if someone was asking for my help and I'd say "No, I can't help you with your problems, I got a doll I need to spend time with." or if I'd spend money on dolls and don't feed my pets and boyfriend.
Like I spend my hobby-money on dolls, someone might spend it on something else. Whatever makes you happy.

 

No I work for my dolls, no one I know would even remotely know how to even buy shoes as a gift for me. Everything doll related comes from the money I work for so i think I deserve a hobby. I would feel guilty near Christmas though, I don't get anything for my dolls from November-February due to Christmas saving and birthdays. i think spending money on dolls (myself) would be pretty greedy around that time of year.

 

Oh, I don't know! Don't you think your dolls deserve a present? I bet THEY wouldn't think you were being greedy if you bought them something for Christmas!

 

Not really. I prefer spending on my doll rather then for myself. Cause i would just end up buying useless stuff for myself. I don't feel sad when paying for doll stuff but will feel sad when paying for other stuff xD

 

It's my money and none of my close family or friends are in particular need of it, and I'm really careful with my money, I bargain hunt, buy bulk and freeze, cook instead of ready meals in order to stretch my money out. If I keep going at this rate I'll have enough money for comic-con in the Summer including flights and accommodation.

 

Not in the least. It's my money, that I've earned working full-time. No one has any say on how I spend that money. My bills get paid. Dollies are my reward for a responsible life and I don't owe an explanation to anyone for that.

There is no reason to feel guilt, unless the money spent is depriving yourself or your family quality of life.

 

Wow, Krissy! I couldn't have said it better myself!