Ever felt guilty for having 'more dolls' than someone else?

No. Not at all. I've saved, layaway-ed and earned my dolls, I don't feel bad about that. I could have been spending my money on other hobbies, but I chose not to. I don't think I should ever feel bad about my choices.

I HAVE had others try to make me feel bad about having more than they do....but it doesn't work. Everybody's life is different, we all have different interests and needs and situations. What works for some, doesn't for others. I'm sure there is someone out there who owns one doll and wouldn't trade it for my entire crew, and another that has twice as many as I do that wouldn't sell a single one. It wouldn't be fair at all to tell the first person they need to sell that one doll so they can buy 10 cheaper dolls, or to tell the second person that they need to sell their dolls because I can't own that many.

I think the best thing to do is enjoy what you have, work for what you want, and let others do the same.

 

Nope, you can love your one doll as much as seventy. It's the amount of love put into them that makes them special, not how many you have, I have never been gifted a doll, or given money towards one, it's all hard earned, and if at 19, I can buy the amount of dolls I have, there are ways others can too.

 

Sometimes... I have a pretty considerable collection... but in reality there's no need to justify anything. We have what we have.

 

Not really. But my best friend and I discovered BJDs at the same time at a con. We both said we'd have them. Two years later she'd had a couple jobs and I was still babysitting but I bought my first doll and less than a year later I bought my second. She was very shocked and asked where I was getting "all this extra money to buy ALL THESE DOLLS" I worked hard and I budgeted the little I had and saved. On my first one I even offered to give her the event doll that would have come with it and all she had to pay was 30 bucks but she said no because she didn't like the style of the doll. Her loss.

 

No, and I haven't felt the reverse (jealous of someone else's quantity of dolls). When I got started, my roommate was doing the same, and I think somehow we ended up close to the same number, each of us kept finding dolls to get at the same time, but at least for me, I didn't have any concern other than seeing what awesome new thing she had coming in! Since then, I've lived either with people who don't have them, or alone, so there's no concern there; there really isn't anyone around me (aside from a friend to whom I gifted a tiny a while back) who has anyone to compare against anymore, either. But I think, again, if there were someone, my concern wouldn't be keeping count, it would be seeing all the different unique dolls!

 

Nope. I scrimped and saved for mine. Everyone else has as well.

 

Uh no. :P I earn my toys and I have been known to share them once in a while, smile. I don't have a lot of BJD's yet actually. I'm just getting my first 2 Miro MSD's together. Still waiting on temporary heads for those. I mean those bodies for my Dollmore couple eventually but for now, they're having these heads so I have something to play with and practice face ups on. I've got a trade in the works for an OOAK RS I kind of fell for and SD head on lay-a-way. That girl will eventually be getting an SD body, but I don't know if it will be Miro or something else. I haven't decided as yet. But every Barbie, every Tonner type doll I own, I either got as a gift which makes me appreciate them even more or I worked very hard to acquire them on my own. Yeah, I have a small mountain of them but then I've been collecting for a long time too and a lot of the dolls I tend to like are not expensive ones. I buy thrift a lot actually.

I'm a doll hoarder I freely admit that. I have hundreds of dolls, literally, but they are not BJD's and it's a collection I've amassed over more than a decade and almost a half now, that I've very carefully spent on and that cost me a heck of a lot less than you'd think looking at it all. I buy dolls. I rarely buy stuff for them. I'd rather make my own clothes than buy $75 outfits. I sell the outfits that do come on them a lot to afford more dolls. Lately I'm even making polymer food, shoes, jewelry, and wigs, stuff like that too so that helps a lot. The recent foray into BJD's and how expensive they are does worry me a little. I can see myself getting in over my head so easily with these. I'm falling in love with every other doll I see it seems, but I think the actual constraints of my wallet will keep me humble. I'll likely buy mostly used and low end. A whole fleet of Iplehouse dolls is just not on the agenda. Not when I'd have to take out a mortgage to go there....

 

My family tell me I have too many dolls all the time, but it's not because they want some it's because they don't like my dolls at all!

It can be awkward if friends and/or family make you feel guilty about having something that they don't have, but in your case it's not your fault that your sister has fewer dolls than you. You got into the hobby and stayed with it, whilst she took some time to get into it. With siblings, families tend to emphasise sharing and equality...but you have saved up your own money to buy your own dolls, and your sister really needs to start enjoying the hobby for herself rather than comparing her collection to yours. You have nothing to feel guilty for - your sister is projecting her insecurity on to you, so keep enjoying your dolls and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for having them.

Personally I'd feel a bit bad if I had multiples of an LE mould and I knew that it was highly sought-after and lots of people were upset they couldn't get that mould...but it wouldn't make me sell. When I buy a sculpt it's because I like it and I have a specific reason for getting it, and perhaps that sculpt was stunningly perfect for my triplet characters or something like that.

If you look at it plainly, this is a luxury hobby. No one needs to have dolls. We want to have them and we like to have them, but we don't need them in our lives. It would be nice if everyone who wanted one could have one (and really, with layaway and saving up there are ways that everyone who wants a doll can eventually get one,) but this is not the same as people desperately needing clean water to survive.

Stabbington, perhaps you can pay your sister back how much she contributed towards your LE doll? If that's part of what's making you feel guilty, you might feel better by buying her out of the doll so you own it outright? If she feels she owns half of one of your dolls, that might explain her feelings about your collection. This is why I'd never co-own a doll. Too many boundaries and feelings to negotiate!

 

Yes...I didn't wanna tell my friend that I was getting an MSD because she always had this horrible...Actually STILL has this horrible habit of saying like: "That's not fair!" Or "You have (insert amount of dolls here) and I only have (insert amount here)." It actually made me really upset when she said this when I was trying to win a Fantasy Angel Lily on ebay because she was sitting next to me looking over my shoulder and she wouldn't stop saying how 'lucky' I was...I lost that doll a half hour later and she LAUGHED at me when I swore up a storm at the computer. She didn't get how upset I actually was. She said: "Aww that sucks." But then two minutes later said something along the lines of: "You still have Avalon at least."

Gee thanks for reminding me like I didn't notice the hunk of resin sitting on my lap.

She really upset me and I will admit I don't like it when she talks about the doll hobby like it's so easy to get dolls. "You're so LUCKY to have all of these dolls."

No, I nickled, dimed, worked, begged, worked, saved up, nickled and dimed some more and Avalon and my first doll were Christmas and Birthday presents.

This girl is my best friend but recently I can't stand to be around her...She's unpleasant to be around especially when it comes to my hobbies like cooking or doll collecting or writing. She's had the nerve to rip off my stories and OC's once so I doubt she'd be able to come up with any creative crap to do with her doll besides let it sit in the window and yellow if she ever does get an MSD like she's claiming to.

So yes....I have felt guilty and even worse felt so upset I actually cried a few times. I had to BEG my friend to not say: "Oh your so lucky." or "That's not fair." because I had been trying to get an MSD for over two years and Avalon was my birthday present. The worst thing is she says that stuff with a big grin on her face like it's some joke even after I tell her it hurts my feelings.

 

No.

What's mine is mine, what's theirs is theirs, and I really don't care how my collection compares to anyone else's. Larger or smaller, more common or more rare... It just doesn't matter.

 

Perhaps it might make things more clear in future if you tell your sister that you're doing x to pay her back for y? At least if you've told her and she knows where she stands you know you don't have to feel guilty? If you got your DC Faramita for Christmas then that's a Christmas present, surely? You don't have to feel guilty for receiving a doll as a present

Arashi Uchiha, what an awkward situation! Nobody needs a negative nancy in their life, especially about hobbies. Hobbies are supposed to be fun!

I do think that a lot of this boils down to someone else having a jealousy problem. You don't need to absorb their problem. You don't have to feel guilty if you have something they don't. When you've worked hard and scraped every penny together to afford your doll and accessories, you don't need someone telling you you're lucky. It's not luck that got you your doll, it's hard work and saving up that did the trick.

That said, you can ditch an unhealthy friend, but it's harder to avoid jealous relatives!

 

Unfortunately this girl I can't ditch....>_> Even if I wanted to which I don't. She used to be pretty nice but lately she's turned into well a little monster. I try not to let her bring me down but it's hard when amidst saying things like how beautiful Avalon is she then jumps into how 'unfair' or 'lucky' I am.

Ugh with her it's an I can't win situation. I just don't tell her about dolls I'm trying to save up for or outfits I'm trying to make. She still owes me money at that for clothes I made for her.

 

I've been in jealous, competitive situations with individuals in business and in personal matters and I just loathe that feeling, so I have learned to avoid anyone who is negative or seems to want to compete with me. It's a game that I refuse to play. Hobbies are supposed to be for one's own entertainment and amusement. Someone might think that good luck is a contributing factor to having the collection of dolls I have, but I've had just as much (or more) bad luck as good. It doesn't matter; everyone's collection is different.

 

lol Not usually, no. But at the last meetup I was at, I felt kind of odd since I'd brought almost half of my gang with me, which was a LOT of dolls. At least, more than what everyone else had brought. There were only five or six of us there, but I had twelve or thirteen dolls of various sizes with me, and most everyone else had up to six each. It felt like I was showing off, which wasn't my intention at all. I don't think they thought so, either. I just felt like that, 'cause I'm self-conscious by nature. I probably wouldn't have felt that way had it been a larger group of people. Usually I bring that many but there are at least two or three others who bring just as many. ^^;

So, normally, I don't mind at all that I've got a ton of dolls. I pay for them with my own money, and I work my ass off 40+ hours a week, so as far as I'm concerned, I've earned every one of them. lol