For Younger Doll Collectors

I first joined the hobby when I was ten years old. It took me quite awhile to save for my first doll and to do enough research that I felt comfortable with the purchase and responsibility. I didn't get my first doll or join DoA until I was fifteen, but since then I have experienced nothing but respect and support from other collectors, regardless of their age. I really think that it depends on the individual and how they present themselves to others. Of course there are people who will look down on someone due to their age, but I find that there aren't as many of them as it would seem.

 

I am sorry that there were incidents that made you feel that way. I think there is this major stereotype about teens and kids being clumsy, irresponsible and overall not caring, however it is obviously not true. Many are responsible, caring and careful. The stereotype is applied, i think, mostly due to the price and value of dolls, as adults have a difficult time knowing right off the bat whether the child, teen are trustable or not. It depends so much on how the child,teen were raised, and many other factors.
So i can see where they are coming from, but also that it is very not fair.


I started this hobby when i was 15, however i never felt pressured, untrusted or put down because i was a teen when i started. However i must say that all the meets i ttended in the beginning, i was super careful, not coming too close to dolls, always asking permission and stuff, so that people knew they can trust me. I still always ask, never touch dolls unless owner is right next, but you know what i mean.

 

I joined the hobby when I was fourteen and thankfully I found a smaller doll forum to start off with and met some really cool people on Youtube who helped me and stuff giving me tips and things. I got my first doll for Christmas (an OT Obitsu) and I was so happy...Now I got for my seventeenth birthday a Resinsoul Song and hoping to save up for a Resinsoul Qing.

 

this one is a great topic, I myself am in love with bjds, I dont own one yet but I currently am saving up for an SD or MSD saving up is quite tough

 

I hope that my daughter will get into BJDs so that we can share a hobby together. She's three right now and is already eyeing my dollfie. I tell her she can have one when she's older. But I would definitely want to see some signs that she's ready for one. I'm not sure what age that will be, however I think I might have her save up for one instead of just gifting one to her.

 

Can you be more specific when you say you think younger collectors don't get treated with as much respect?

I think in a meet setting its to be expected that you might get treated a little differently if you are younger because things ARE different for a younger person than they are for an adult, certain language and topics of conversation will be avoided, not all adults can relate well with kids either.

That said manners cost nothing, politeness should not be dependent on age. I don't generally 'respect' people who rant online about how they've been 'disrespected' regardless of age though.

 

Aww, Mikuru. (I've seen the same type of posts on tumblr.) There could be a lot of factors about this. (Though I haven't seen any examples of this myself on DoA) So I don't know what exactly the Tumblr Bjd community is like, or any other doll websites. But it could be a case of a few "bad eggs" in that age group that ruin it for the others. Some people don't feel as though younger people are responsible enough, or that they aren't mature enough. Which, some aren't, but even some 30 year olds aren't that mature. Everyone is different.

I got into dolls when I was around 12. I almost was able to buy my first bjd when I was around 14, but my mother freaked and backed out. So I waited until I was a little older to get my first doll. And now, at 19, I am living independently from everyone and can make my own decisions. I hope nobody gives you any crap, Mikuru, because I've never seen anything but nice from you People just need to learn to respect each other, so we can all enjoy our beautiful dolls.

 

I'm not a teen or young collector (I'm 30), but I might be able to shed a little light on some of the stereotyping. First, let me say this is NOT my opinion, it's just what I've heard from others in my age group or older.

There ARE some teens that are irresponsible, immature, selfish and entitled brats. This does NOT mean all teens are like that! (Or that older people are never like that. >.> ) However, I think that does make some older doll owners generalize too much. When they see teens throwing fits, demanding their parents buy them everything, whining about how unfair it is that older owners have things they can't afford, bringing their teen drama to meets....this puts people off, and sometimes leaves a bad taste in our mouths.

However! That being said, the youngest doll owner I've met personally was 16, and she was very mature, friendly and responsible. She asked before touching other people's dolls, she had saved up for her doll, she was polite, she asked questions about our dolls. I was happy to have her at our meet! I've met doll people older than me that weren't as respectful and friendly as this girl was.

I think what vulpes said is true, too. Some adults just don't know how to talk to teens or kids, or don't know how to relate in conversation. It's true, an older married person with a full time job and children is probably going to have a very different lifestyle than a middle-school kid. BUT that's where the dolls come in! It doesn't matter where you're from, how old you are, what kind of home life you have or whatever----we all like and/or own dolls, and that gives us a conversation topic right there! I've talked to owners half my age, and owners twice my age and enjoyed it either way.

TL;DR version: I think some older people have had bad experiences with the wrong teens, but in the end, it shouldn't matter how old you are, just how you treat others and their dolls at a meet.

 

If you don't like hanging out at meetups with the older collectors in your area because you think they treat you badly at meetups, then go start your own group of younger collectors. If you don't like the treatment you feel you get online on one forum/Tumblr/etc., then go start or join a forum/Tumblr/etc. for teens.

Nobody says you have to continue going to meetups or socializing with a group you don't get along with. You actually have the power to choose who you hang out with.

 

i was 16 when i got my first bjd, and despite being a couple years older than you i also felt looked down upon by older members. i don't think this is intentional! i have to say getting to know members in my local community individually helped me feel more confident about attending meet ups.

i do agree that there is a stereotype of children/teens being reckless or disrespectful, but i think it's better for communities to keep an open mind. at my last meet up there was a very young girl there with her mother who is also a collector, she was very polite and excited to show off her dolls. ^^

 

If an example of "disrespect" is the occasional meet-up that has an age limit, it's worth keeping in mind that that can be because of liability/propriety issues and not respect.

Plenty of people would be uncomfortable sending their 13-year-old to meet a group of strange adults in any context, so if someone puts an age limit on a meet-up that they're planning/hosting the source is probably out of respect for what's socially acceptable rather than disrespect due to age (and that's doubly true for meet-ups held in private homes and/or hosted by males – why should they risk being accused of impropriety?).

 

While I've seen some disrespect towards younger doll owners, I don't pay any mind to it! Lots of people have seen irresponsible doll owners, and I think that younger responsible owners need to be more active in the hobby to show that not all young owners don't take good care of their dolls!! I first found out about bjds when I was 11 or so (loved Rozen Maiden, found Volk's line, did more research to find other companies). I saved up and got my first doll when I was 15, and now at 17 I have three dolls and one on the way. c: Us young'ns just have to prove that we can be good doll owners too~ Getting frustrated and fussing about it won't help!

 

I think it's not strange to feel out of place if you (general 'you') are in a group of people outside your age group, but that's just how things go, it's no one's fault.
Another thing to consider is your own attitude--it could be that no one is looking down at you at all, but you are nervous and worried that people might be, so that's how you interpret other people's behaviour. You just need to keep a positive outlook

 

I'm 17 now, but I got my first doll a week before I turned 13. I never felt disrespected, nobody ever treated me badly, but I had a really hard time fitting in with the local doll people... I eventually was introduced to two other girls my age in the hobby, but I don't see them nearly enough and one of them was already very much a part of the community, and I'd just sit in the corner at meets wondering who I should try to talk to to, while they all freely talked with her because they already knew her pretty well. I feel like I wasn't welcomed at first, but I also didn't make much of an effort, being shy. Now I'm finding more friends because I'm older and more people are just starting out like I did, but at a later stage in life, and they're trying to break into the current community as well, so we feel about equally out of place. Also, because I am older now, I think more hobbyists will think I'm mature enough to really talk to. I have a lot of adult friends now, but I can see why they wouldn't have really wanted to be friends with a 13 year old... I guess the best advice I can offer to anyone who is younger is to seek out people close to your age through forums rather than meets, and do your very best not to be too shy. I know it's easier said than done, but at least try! Also scout out people who will be moving to your area and get to know them so that when they arrive you know them already and you can break into the community together.

 

I understand the stereotypes of teenagers collecting bjds. I am a teenager myself and I find it quite hard and amusing to save for my very first. It was not really easy at all. I get part-time jobs often and I don't even understand, correct me if I am wrong but when I showed the bjd samples to my class, they criticized me and even my friend. I really don't care about what non-bjd owners say. I would just like be careful and responsible for my very first bjd.

 

People above me have mentioned teenagers being 'clumsy' and 'careless' though honestly, that wouldn't be my irk... this a super expensive hobby... you have a naked doll plus cost of eyes, wig, clothes, shoes, faceup and maybe even furniture and a camera to take pictures with... it all adds up and what would bother me the most is the image of a bratty preteen begging their parents for this $500 doll with all the accessories and a custom faceup.

That thought would cross my mind at first but I do try to reserve judgement until I find out more about the circumstances... I assume many preteens have earned their dolls getting good grades or chores or what have you and that's just fine... a teenager likely has a job and without things like rent or bills then most income is disposable income so teens with dolls doesn't bother me.

The concept of having earned it yourself... that's what I find important. Anything expensive just 'given' to children I find irritating... off on a tangent here, my cousin decided that her 4 year old child 'needed' a queen sized bed... I don't even have a queen sized bed... What I'm saying is that I don't like spoiled children.

For reference, at time of writing, I am 24 and I started collecting when I was 19.

 

I got my first doll when I was 13 however I never really joined the community as such until now, but from those around me there was either utter delight with my doll or complete rejection of both the doll and me...

 

I have a niece that is 11, and I wouldn't hesitate to let her handle my doll. She is a very gentle and respectful girl. However, when it comes to owning her own things, she forgets where she puts things and looses them all the time. (there must be a black hole in her bedroom. LOL) I really think it depends on the person and how they treat their own things, if they're mature enough to own something as expensive as a BJD.

I would not disrespect a younger collecter on the forum or in real life. I'm sorry anyone has treated anyone of this age like that in the past

 

I've never felt this way, but I haven't been to any meets yet. I'm (almost) 17, and I got my first doll a few months after I turned 16, but I had been eyeing dolls since I was maybe 12 or 13ish. I'm glad I didn't go for them then, because I wasn't responsible enough. My first doll is a BBB mini my parents gave me for X-mas. I have a full boy on layaway and a floating head along with my BBB girl, and I paid or am paying for the others by myself. It makes for a long wait, but it is worth it.

But I sometimes do worry about meets and how people will treat me--I'm very self-conscious in general, and I look a lot younger than I am (being 5' tall doesn't help). But with dolls, I think I can break the barrier. My girl has already helped me a lot with self-consciousness problems. I think that it's really all just a creative outlet, and as long as everyone is treating each other (and each others' dolls!) respectfully, it's all okay. But I've seen some collectors twice my age who act a lot like bratty, spoilt teens, so it's more a maturity thing than an actual age thing, at least to me.