If your family member asks for your BJD, what do you do?

Just tell mum nicely that you love her too much to let her go!

 

I agree with this. Maybe you could get her a "starter" doll for a gift instead. Maybe a less expensive one that has a similar look as your Izzy ^^

 

I think, if a family member actually ASKS for your doll, and you haven't previously mentioned thinking about getting rid of it to them, you shouldn't give them your doll. It's your doll, you payed for it, you love it, it's simple as that. If they're just flat out asking for the doll, I think that's pretty rude. Like, if you had said 'I'm thinking about selling this doll' and THEN they asked, then it would make sense. But that's kinda like someone admiring your favorite dress and then just randomly asking if they can have it if you ever decide not to wear it anymore. They are ignoring your feelings toward the doll. I don't think you should give your doll to anybody that rude, frankly. EVen if they didn't say it in a demanding way, I still think that's rude.

My grandma LOVES my dolls and especially was in love with my Unoa Sist hybrid, and would always joke about taking her home with her, but never actually suggested that I should give her the doll. I ended up reshelling that doll into a bigger doll and didn't want to just sell the old one, so I gave her to my grandma for her birthday, because I knew she loved her so much. She almost cried from happiness! I knew she would truly appreciate the doll, because she admired her for a long time but also respected that she was MY doll, and I knew she would take good care of her not only because of this respect, but also because she has a lot of fashion dolls.

Think about it. If a little kid constantly talks about how much he loves lizards, and shows a lot of interest in them and always admires them with respect and handles them gently, but never directly asked for one even though you could tell he wanted to, would you get him a lizard for his birthday? I probably would. Now, imagine another little kid who thinks lizards are cool but is pretty rough with the family cat and his toys, and doesn't actually know a lot about lizards, and then he asks for a lizard for his birthday. Would you get HIM a lizard? Sure, he means well, but it probably wouldn't be the best idea. Same basic principle.

 

This for sure!!

I can understand someone loving someone else's doll, but I think it is a bit mean to put pressure on the owner to give the doll away - and not even sell the doll in this case, but give it away as a gift. If a doll owner knows that their friend or relative adores one of their dolls and the owner makes a decision all by themselves to gift the doll to their mum/sister/daughter/best friend... then that is entirely the decision of the owner, but when the friend or family member keeps going on about how much they would like to keep the owner's doll then I think that's unfair pressure.

yuan_mdx, you said that your mother asked if she could have Izzy if you've finished playing with her? All you have to say is that you haven't finished playing with her Some people don't understand that you can have more than one doll and still appreciate each doll you have - my own mum has never asked me for one of my dolls, but she doesn't get why I need 'so many' (in her words!) Perhaps Yuan_mdx's mum feels similarly and thinks that if you have more than one doll you must prefer one doll over another.

Also, it seems to me that you aren't ready for Izzy to have a new home, Yuan_mdx. If you're worried about her getting broken or yellowed and her clothes being torn or stained, I think that's definitely a strong sign that you want to keep Izzy yourself. When you genuinely want to sell a doll or give one away you don't feel these worries as deeply.

 

I'm in agreement with SwivelChair. I personally find it very rude to just ask to keep something that belongs to somebody else. I can't imagine just telling somebody flat out "I want that, you should give it to me." Especially when it's expensive and has sentimental value!

If you wanted to give your mom a gift, I'd probably buy her a different doll, maybe less expensive and you have no attachment to it, just in case it does get damaged. If you're set on her having Izzy, then maybe offer to sell her to her. Then you wouldn't be out the money if something happened, and maybe your mom would be more careful with her if she spent her own money on the doll.

 

If it were specifically my mom. I would let her have one of my boys. I know that my mom thinks they're cool and enjoyed doing photo-shoots of them. So if she asked, I would let her babysit indefinitely. But she's my mom and as much as I treasure my boys, I treasure my mom more and I could let her have one of my boys out of my love for her, and the joy she would gain from having one of my dolls around. I also know that my mom takes extraordinarily good care of things and has collectables herself so she knows the deal. All that said - if I gave up one of my boys to her, I'd probably visit her more often. LOL

 

If it were my mum... I'd buy her one of her own.

Actually, I *did* buy my mother-in-law one of her own a few years ago. She really liked Teacup, my Elf Shiwoo, when she "met" him, and expressed an interest in taking up sewing for dolls... so the next time an Elf Shiwoo came up for sale, FlyingCodeMonkey and I bought him for her. She still has Sam, and I suspect he's probably the single most spoiled little doll in the entire history of resin.

 

I think I agree with others here, I think you should let her know that your doll means to much to give away. Maybe it would be nice if you sit down with her and help her search for a bjd of her own, she might end up finding one that she loves even more. Even if she don't buy a new one there must be loads of little lovely for sale on the market place.

 

I think I would find the same sculpt secondhand, do it up, and give it to my mum. Or help her buy her own, as others have suggested. That way I wouldn't worry about what happened because it would be her own doll.

 

I feel bad for my daughter, because she wants to buy her own very individual doll, and when I keep falling in love with the doll she wants, she feels like she has to find a new one. She doesn't get that I just want to be like her. I finally convinced her that if we both have the same brand (Fairyland) it's ok!

 

I'd find that pretty rude, to just expect someone (family member or not) to give you something so expensive and that they clearly worked hard for and still care a lot about
I would not give them my doll under any circumstances (especially because most of my family members do not know how to take care of their possessions)

 

This. I also bought my mom her own dolls, she loves them. They weren't super expensive ones, just in case she wasn't really interested, but she's very happy with them anyway.

 

This would so never happen with my mum. She thinks my dolls are a huge waste of time and money.

Now, if my grandmother asked for one of my dolls, I probably would give it to her because I know she loves them as much as I do and would take really good care of any one that she got. The only one I would absolutely not give up would be Tyler, not even to my beloved grandmother. Tyler means too much to me for me to give him away to anyone for any reason. Of course, my grandmother probably wouldn't ask me for one of my dolls because she has more tact and politeness than that. I can imagine her asking for one of her own, though, and I'd happily help her out with that, too.

As for any other family members asking for my dolls, I'd just flat-out say no. I'm sorry if anyone thinks that's rude or that I have a double standard, but I think it's exceptionally rude for anyone - even a family member - to ask for something that doesn't belong to them and that the owner has expressed no desire to give up. If someone did ask for one of mine, I'd tell them that my dolls have too much sentimental value for me to part with them and, depending on the family member, I'd probably also express my feelings about how inappropriate it is to ask for somebody else's things just because you want them. Also depending on the family member, I might be willing to help them get a doll of their own.

 

My mom adores my dolls and spoils them rotten but she's never asked for any of them...Rather she said she can't imagine spending the money for them on herself so she said she'll collect vicariously through me. X3; I do want to get her a RealPuki Aki one day though because she just ADORES them she got to see one and hold one in person at the local meet ups and she was in utter love...She also loves all the dolls I like and enjoys the meet ups too so maybe one day I'll get her an inexpesnive one of her own..But my mom respects me enough to not ask for one of mine.

 

I'd have to go with this also.
My mom rarely asks for anything out of anybody, so if it was something she really wanted I'd give up a resinite for her.

 

My Mom wouldn't, but I can't rule out other family members (maybe one of my cousins I don't see often).

I would more likely gift that person a "twin" or a very similar doll, rather than give them the one I had purchased and dressed up to my tastes. Unless I did actually happen to be ready for that doll to move onto a new home.

 

If you've only had her a couple of months and you still love her then there's no reason to let her go now. If you're not very attached to a doll then that's one thing, but if you really like her and haven't had her for very long it's quite cheeky to ask you to give her up even if it was just one time.

I agree. If you've taken the time to get a doll exactly how you want them and you're not feeling they're part of the collection and haven't really bonded with them or don't feel they work as part of the collection then perhaps that's time to think about re-homing the doll, but when they're still relatively new and you're enjoying them why gift them away?

 

This. My mom loved the dolls and I would have given her one, if she'd asked.