Jealousy over BJDs

Oh my, thats awful
I cant say Ive had anything like this, but I have felt ashamed of my dolls because of money, and my boyfriend is a bit creeped out by them so I avoid having them around him. If hes jealous because Cheshire is a boy, would it be an option to give him a sex change? That might solve the jealousy and allow you to enjoy your beautiful doll. Though honestly, I cant quite wrap my head around being jealous because he is a boy... if SO were feeling neglected because Chessy had all your time that would be one thing, but a gender issue?
Im very interested to hear what others think on this issue...

Overall though, I feel like you shouldnt have any guilt towards poor cheshire, especially if the issue has been resolved with your SO. Its a great hobby and stress reliever, sometimes you need to take a step back and worry about your own needs and what makes you happy

 

I think that he must know that your doll is simply a thing, as it may be a car or a bike... (an expensive thing and must be treated it with care) he need not be jealous of something that hasn't smooth and soft skin!! (my boyfriend is jealous too but I haven't my EID man...yet) xD

 

You should definitely not feel guilty because your significant other is jealous of a piece of resin. If anything you should be slightly worried, because if he's this bothered by you spending time with a doll, will he be equally bothered by you making male friends in the future?

 

Hmmm, maybe counter balance things and get him his own girl doll? Then you are even? LOL Seriously though, I wouldn't know how to deal with the situation. This is especially so because the doll is animal like and is kind of like having a pet? Who cares what gender a pet is? If that makes sense >>;;

 

Dolls do require some attention, maybe he's worried/jealous over that? I mean, he says that he'd be fine if it was a female doll, but he wouldn't truly know unless if there was one in the house?
Either way, don't feel guilty! Maybe instead of keeping your cheshire packed away, keep him out when you spend time with your fiance! Only, just have him out, enjoying some fresh air, don't particularly pay attention to him. Act like you would if he was in his box and out of sight. Maybe after a little bit, your fiance will come to realize that he's just a doll and not something to be jealous over (and maybe he'll get used to him too!)

 

EDIT

So, he doesn't have problems with you having male friends. That's a relief. Still, there is nothing to feel guilty about and by keeping your Cheshire packed up, this situation will never resolve. I agree with Uenna. Slowly let your boyfriend get used to your doll. Don't spend too much time on it, but let it just stand there on display. It's the only way to make him see there's nothing threatening about it. (well, your doll is a Cheshire cat so... who knows??)

 

Sounds like he's just a little jealous that you started to invest a good amount of time with your doll as part of your hobby. I bet he'd be just as jealous even if the doll was female. Maybe he's a little bit in love with your creative side, and is jealous that he can't be an outlet to your creativity like your doll can...?

 

Somehow I had a kind of similar problem. It existed as long as I did not really know what to do with my big, very muscular male doll. He was an Iplehouse Chase on the superhero body. When I played with him (the doll) my hubby made strange remarks. I asked him what his problem was, and he said it was nothing. This behaviour did not go away before I decided to sell this doll. The reasons were different (his body annoyed me heavily). He was reshelled in an Iplehouse SID Lee. As soon as I decided to make Tony Stark out of him, and as a consequence to build my own version of the Avengers, he was perfectly okay with him. He even agreed to purchase an Impldoll Marcus and a Tony head to portray Thor and Captain America. I mean, the Impldoll body is very similar to an Iplehouse body in looks, though not as extremly muscular. I still do not really understand this, but okay, it is the way it is. He even agreed to my idea of replacing the Hulk with a dragon and using for this an Impldoll Idol Mzzen in grey skin, which will mean one more very big doll. Maybe because I switched from simply buying dolls to making something he also likes somewhat (kind of modelmaking, I guess).

 

@Ipledreamer: almost sounds like the responses you can get when you tell men you read romance novels :p.

 

Yes, but please - even Iplehouse giants are plastic dolls. May it look as real as it wants (and I am using it here on a purpose), but I was really just playing with him in the beginning (until I had to admit to myself that he just was not the right doll for me).

 

I've experienced jealousy issues before, one of which was pretty severe. My husband doesn't really have problems with my dolls. He definitely doesn't understand it, but he "puts up with it." When he found out my next doll is a boy he did seem a little upset. "Why are you getting a BOY doll..." "Because my girl doll is lonely...?" "Oh..." He didn't seem to have a problem after that XD

In a much more severe case, my (former) best friend seemed really jealous of my doll hobby. It may have been a small contributing factor to the end of our friendship (but definitely not the ultimate cause.) I've been interested in BJDs since before I met my friend a few years ago. She has a doll that she purchased around 5 or 6 years ago. She got a dress and wig with it for free, no face up, and that is the extent of her doll items. She never customized it or did much with it, and didn't research dolls or take part in any forums, so she really didn't know all that much about dolls even though she had one. She actually seemed pretty uninterested in her own doll and would only talk about it or bring it out when I brought it up. I got really interested in finally getting a doll last year, joined DOA, and eventually ordered one. She seemed somewhat excited at first that we could do "dolly things" together, and even showed some interest in her own doll by making it an outfit. I started ordering things and joining GOs, and I even offered to order items for her, but she would never get back to me about it. She started avoiding talking about dolls entirely. I was worried that I let my excitement get the best of me, and that I was bothering her, so I sort of just left it alone. Finally when I got my doll, I did my box opening with her. She brought her doll with her, and I was so excited. I absolutely loved my doll, and her face up was perfect, but my friend seemed to only want to nit-pick. "My doll is in white skin, which is a lot prettier. She has a special resin, too (French, but she didn't even know that). And she was a MUCH better deal because she came with her wig and clothes. You spent too much. Yeah I really like my doll, better." I realized what was going on, and just replied to her constant barrage of negative comments with. "That's cool. I'm really happy with what I got though..." I decided it would be best to not take my doll around her and just not talk about it if it upset her so much. A few months later our friendship ended entirely. I don't regret getting my dolls one bit though. I love this hobby and all the new people I've met because of it ^^

As for your fiance, I'd just give it some time. My husband really hated my doll hobby at first. He thought it was expensive and didn't understand it. Over time though he began to understand the customization and social aspect of it and really came around. I think your fiance will come to see that your little doll isn't going to come between the two of you, and that there isn't anything to be jealous of

 

Perhaps it is because doll bodies are so idealized. He may feel like you might if he had pictures of supermodels up on his wall. He probably thinks you find that body type attractive and finds himself comparing himself to your doll, even if he does not realize it.

 

I'm agree with ladygabe, he can think that he isn't up to your doll...

 

I think this might actually be a good point to bring up too--this is the table top RP for you. It might not be a shared interest, but it can provide a good point of understanding. Good luck and keep us posted!

 

From my perspective, the Cheshire would be more of a "boy pet" than a "gorgeous male substitute". Maybe your boyfriend is not exactly jealous of the doll, but the time/energy you spend with/on him. Example: I hate my bf's bolster because he always cuddles it instead of me (I have since stolen it, so now I'm the one who uses it).

Perhaps you guys two can view the doll more like a pet that both of you can spend time with and spoil rotten. In that way the doll wouldn't be competing with him for your time, but it would be more of a group activity for you and your bf ^^

 

I am really glad you are coming to an agreement and he is working to understand your hobby, or at least accept it! That says a lot about your boyfriend.