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Moms With BJDs.

Apr 23, 2012

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    1. Hello, my name's Nicole and I have a six year old daughter names Iris. Three years ago I discovered ball jointed dolls, however because of my daughter's age I was extremely hesitant to buy one. Last year my daughter took up a hobby in collecting porcelain dolls and was amazed with how gentle and loving she was with her dolls.

      Anywho! Recently, I decided that both her and I were ready for me to dive into the hobby and purchased an Only Doll, Yo-Sd and named her Estrella. Much to my delight, Iris has been very respectful about Estrella and has not pestered to play with her or anything. She was even sweet enough to give Estrella one of her bracelets to turn into a necklace.

      I know a common fear with people once they have children is the anxiety that they will never be able to own anything nice again for a long time (I know I had it!). If there are any other moms out there who are in the hobby, how did your child[ren] react to your BJD? Were you afraid of your child[ren] trying to play with it and subsequently breaking it?       Do you feel like you are missing out on other BJD experiences because of the fact that you have a mother? Do you look forward to the thought of possibly someday you and your child sharing the hobby?

      Ps. Here's a picture of Iris and Estrella.

      [​IMG]
      ​
       
      #1 Nicoledelion, Apr 23, 2012
    2. First of all, your daughter is adorable, she really is :D

      I'm also a mom and a BJD collector, although I could be considered a newbie in both fields since I've started my collection when my son was born, almost 1 year ago. Now that he's 15 months I've decided to handle him some BJD under my surveilance (cause I think the best way to avoid accidents is to make him get acquainted with them), yet he seems more interested in my Hujoo WS rather than in MSD and Pullips. When I give him the Hujoo, he pats her on the head, and then he places her under his chin and gives her a small kiss, it's the sweetest thing ever! I think it also depends a lot on the character of the child, and on the kind of games he/she likes to play. My kid is really calm for his age, he tend to put everything in order and likes to help me cleaning the house and doing all this kind of "soft" things, so I was almost 100% sure that he would be able to handle the dolls right. Yet, since it's my decision to let him have them, I am also the one who should take responsibility in case he breaks one, since it would never be his fault, obviously!
      Cheers ^ ^
       
      #2 HustonDoll, Apr 23, 2012
    3. not a mom, but i'm in the process of arranging a tea party between my bjd and my 7 year old niece's american girl. i think it all depends on the situation and the child. M tends to be very active, but can behave when given a calmer situation. i know she can be very gentle as she has a 1 year old brother she plays with. M has been told my bjd is a porcelain doll. (i don't think explaining resin to a 7 yr old would work.)

      i know there's another thread on DoA about kids playing with dolls. (i did a quick search and found it: http://www.denofangels.com/forums/s...quot-wrong-quot-to-let-younger-kids-have-BJDs) maybe some of what's been said there will be helpful to you.
       
      #3 harpers-child, Apr 23, 2012
    4. Thank you very much.

      And, you have a point about it depending on the child's personality. Iris can be very hyper and sassy, but she is also very sweet and respectful. I'm glad your child and dolls have a good relationship.

      Ps. It's super adorable that your son gives Hujoo kisses!

      Fair enough. Good luck with the tea party and thank you for the link. Going to check it out ASAP.
       
      #4 Nicoledelion, Apr 23, 2012
    5. Hee. We already talked about this one, kinda. :)

      I've got a nine-year-old, and she loves my dolls. I'm not at all worried about her breaking them; they're tough, and she's very gentle. (The only thing I have to keep reminding her of is the faceup, since she keeps wanting to pose their heads and she's not always careful about where she puts her fingers.) I don't miss out on a thing, at least in my opinion. I still get to go to meets, and she's getting to the point where I can take her with me. I took her to the last one and she was very good and I'm very proud of her.

      Being a mom doesn't have to limit a person in the hobby. It's all in how you choose to play.
       
      #5 Tez, Apr 24, 2012
    6. Your daughter sounds so sweet. Thank you for such an in-depth response.

      I had actually received a lot of criticism about getting into the hobby with a child ("It's too expensive", "What if she breaks it?", ect). Hearing the responses through this forum has made me feel a bit more at ease. Like I had stated in my original post, my daughter collects porcelain dolls and is completely in love with Estrella. Because of that, I was thinking about purchasing her an inexpensive (but pretty) Yo-Sd for her birthday in December.

      Normally I would think seven is too young for something so delicate and expensive, however Iris is very mature and intelligent for her age and already takes great care of her porcelain doll collection. What age would you consider getting your daughter a doll if she continued to stay interested in the hobby?
       
      #6 Nicoledelion, Apr 24, 2012
    7. I wouldn't mind sharing my dolls with my children. :)
      I agree when you say it's part of the child's personality... I have a son (4 yrs old), and he doesn't care about the dolls, and never did
       
      #7 candydream, Apr 24, 2012
    8. Thank you. She's a sweetie. :3

      I'll be honest -- my reaction to anyone who says a mom shouldn't get involved in an expensive hobby just because they're a mom is to tell them to go take a long walk off a short pier. Moms are people too. Your identity doesn't vanish when you become a mother; you merely add another facet to that identity. If you aren't shorting your child to acquire your expensive things, then why in the world SHOULDN'T you do something you enjoy? As long as the necessities are taken care of and the child is well-cared-for, then what goes on beyond that is nobody's business but yours.

      For my daughter? Probably not for another year or so, but a lot of that has to do with attention spans and very little has to do with her actual age or how careful she is or isn't (because she's very careful). She was never really a doll-person when she was littler, so she doesn't have the collection background yours does; she's only just started expressing an interest in my dolls. I'd want to be very sure she's going to retain a fair amount of interest in the doll first. (I'm not saying she has to love it forever. I just don't want her getting bored with it in three months and going on to something else.) She's getting a couple of Monster High dolls here in a few days -- which she loves -- so I'm hoping that will give her something to focus on to see if she'll stick with the doll hobby for a while. I'll probably give her my old camera so she can start taking pictures of them and doing the things I do with my dolls. That way I can get a better feel for her interest level before I plunk down the big bucks. :3
       
      #8 Tez, Apr 24, 2012
    9. i'd say if she can handle and maintain porcelain dolls, she can handle resin dolls. Resin is much more resiliant than porcelain.
       
      #9 Quetz, Apr 24, 2012
    10. My son is three and I only started collecting BJDs last year, but he's always been allowed around them and to handle them with supervision. He has his own 'babies' and he's very gentle with them. Mostly with the resins I just made sure he knew they were 'mama's babies' and he had to be really gentle and always ask first before touching them. I leave them all over the place and he and the cats are very good at leaving them alone.
       
      #10 Linteia, Apr 24, 2012
    11. Well, I should start out by noting that I'm not a mom yet (my kid will be born this November), but I have experience with small children and babies and fragile things. I can tell you that my doll hobby has already taken a back seat. I'm just graduating college and getting ready to find a "real job", and my disposable income has been redirected into practical things for baby. So, I'm selling off a few things (including dolls) I don't really care for or couldn't bond with to afford furnishings and things for the baby. I can see this probably being an issue, in terms of wild dolly splurges, but it will force me to learn to save (which is something I've never been good at) and prioritize which of my wants I can satisfy. Just because I'm a mom doesn't mean I can't have hobbies.

      I think as others have said it really depends on the child. I was always taught, as were my siblings, to be extra careful with fragile things. We never broke toys and things that did not belong to us, and knew that special breakable things had to be treated differently than other objects. I think that teaching a child respect and how to ask for things can prevent a lot of problems. While they're too little to understand but also really active, the best thing to do is keep fragile things (dolls, vases, etc) carefully out of reach until the child is old enough to learn responsibility.
       
      #11 carmarilla, Apr 25, 2012
    12. Your daughter is a cutie!

      Honestly, things like this really depend on the kid.

      In my house growing up, my mom would have been crazy to collect anything as nice as ball jointed dolls. There were five of us, all close in age, and she must have had the patience of a saint. We broke her good china (not on purpose!) dug in the garden with her good silverware (we didn't know any better...), etc. I can only imagine what we would have done to her dolls. Sharpie face ups all around, probably!

      Yet I now have a son, and I collect BJDs avidly. He respects them, but he is that kind of kid. Your daughter has already shown you she knows how to respect her own and others belongings, so go for it!
       
      #12 sakuraharu, Apr 25, 2012
    13. Fair enough :)

      Ah, your first sentence made me laugh - well put. I also love the idea of giving her your old camera.

      How funny, my daughter is also starting to dive into Monster High. That, and Lalaloopsey's (she already has three of them..). Again, I am undecided about whether or not to actually purchase Iris a BJD on top of all of that, however by the time her birthday rolls around and she's still going strong with collecting dolls, then I suppose I shall. Like you, I don't want to purchase something, have her love it for five seconds and then never look at at again. Some things she does that with, but not her doll collection (porcelain, Lalaloopsey, Barbies, ect).

      Oh, why can't there be more sensible people like you? I must live in a city of pretentious snobs :doh

      This is true. Thank you for your input.

      Sounds nice :)
       
      #13 Nicoledelion, Apr 25, 2012
    14. I am also a mother with a six year old. Her name is Allegra and for her fifth birthday I got her a BJD. I had dolls since she was around three years old and because mine are all big, I used to tell her not to touch their face, or to play with their hands and feet. I said that hugs were fine and playing gently was too -- after so much exposure she really was very respectful as I always made sure she knew how important they were.

      She used to continually ask me when I was getting a girl doll - because she liked boys but they were "all too heavy!". In the end, I also bought my daughter a YoSD and she takes exceptional care of her. Really, I think you just need to have a child who understands ground rules and how expensive the dolls are and can respect that. If you don't have a child that can play gently with anything then I'd definitely be more worried about allowing them near my dolls or anyone elses.
       
      #14 gridbug, Apr 25, 2012
    15. First off I want to say congratulations.

      Second, although obviously a child's temperament and maturity play a huge role, equally important is teaching said child to be respectful and gentle with breakable things such as dolls.

      Thank you very much for the compliment, feedback, and encouragement. :)

      Allegra is such a cute name and I'm glad to hear how well she takes care of her doll. :)
       
      #15 Nicoledelion, Apr 25, 2012
    16. I have 4 children and am saving to purchase my first doll. My 3 boys are all older, 11, 12, and 14. My daughter is 2.

      I think any child can learn to respect people's things and be gentle. I think that it's up to the parent whether or not they want to take the time to teach it. There is no way I'd have had anything expensive and delicate when my boys were little. I didn't have the time or the energy lol Now that they're older, though, they have learned to respect my things.

      My little girl is the most gentle child I've ever met. I would have no qualms about letting her hold my doll supervised. She's not very interested in dolls, though, so I doubt she'd really care to do more than look at it on occasion.

      I dont' think that any parent should quit collecting just because they have kids or choose not to collect based on that either. You just have to teach your kids to be gentle, which is something they should learn anyway ;)
       
      #16 pixidance, Apr 25, 2012
    17. My daughter got her first BJD when she was nine. She was nowhere near new (she was made in 2006) so we got a very good price on her. After about a year of proving that she could handle having an expensive toy, and that she was still very interested in the BJD hobby she got her SD boy. I have my own BJDs now and the dolls have been an enormous bonding experience for us. We make clothes and accessories, go to all kinds of doll meets and have made a lot of dolly friends. Having the shared hobby is keeping us close in spite of her entry into the "tween" years when most of her friends are at war with their mothers.

      Your little girl sounds like she's careful and respectful little sweetie and can probably handle the hobby with you. Plus, look how cute she looks with that little Yo-SD. I can hardly stand the adorable ;)
       
      #17 KellyinDallas, Apr 25, 2012
    18. What a great thread! I love the way all of you respect your children's curiosity and show constructive ways to satisfy it.
       
      #18 adjusted vision, Apr 28, 2012
    19. Good luck with your savings :) If you don't mind me asking, what kind of BJD are you planning on getting? Do you have a specific sculpt?

      :)

      I like how you went about preparing your daughter and I'm glad you two can bond over it. It sounds nice ^_^

      And thank you very much!

      I think it's only natural for a child to be at least a little curious/interested in what their parents are interested in. For instance, my dad is a musician and has always had his own studio in the house. Naturally since he spent a lot of time in there, I wanted to go in there and watch him play (although he didn't let me go in there when I was younger). Now though when my daughter and I visit he has it all set up with a mini drum set for her. Oh, how times change :|

      My long winded point is, is that it is saddening to not be included in a hobby that they are interested in as well. I don't know, sorry if I'm not making much sense.
       
      #19 Nicoledelion, Apr 28, 2012
    20. Your daughter is gorgeous! She would make a great doll herself!

      My daughters have been raised with antique dolls so being careful is in their nature. My older daughter thinks we are nuts but my younger (age 10) Loves them. She got her first one, a 60cm Obitsu when she was 6 and has 2 Goodreau dolls also. She takes great care of them. She does what we do really , poses them and takes photo shoots. She is way better at getting realistic shots than I am! The only thing that bugs me is, she doesn't want to buy clothes, she wants to steal mine..:|



       
      #20 Molliebean, Apr 29, 2012
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