Owner frustration

Interesting question...I'm worried that I might not fit in socially with other "doll people." It seems that about half of BJD collectors are also manga/anime fans (not saying that's a bad thing! I was once a hardcore Sailormoon fanatic!) But at this point in my life anime and manga is something I associate with the teenage/highschool crowd of which I find myself incapable of relating to. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a nerd myself! I'm a gamer and comic book fan, but the anime/manga crowd seem to typically be a different breed. As for the ages, I haven't been to a meetup, but I'm hoping people will be around my age I'm 27 so I would be perfectly comfortable around everyone in their 20's. It would definitely be awkward if everyone at the meet was like 14.

In the end though, I never thought my dolls wouldn't fit in And that's the point of the meet-up! Ultimately, no matter what the composition of the group is you'll always fit in and have something to talk about when it comes to BJDs!

 

All the meets I've been to have people ranged from 11 tot about 60.
The dolls are also extremely different. So unless you've had personal experience in meetup people being rude, it might just be in your head.
Other doll owners understand the issues there are with going out in public, so of they were to be rude, that's just silly.
Also, the age really shouldn;t matter. Even tho they could all be 14, you still have something in common: dolls. They don't have to be your best friends, but you can at least talk about something. And dollmeets are about dolls and having fun.

 

This.

In our local BJD community, we have collectors of all ages (I think the youngest is/was around 9 when she came to her first meetup? all the way to older (50's? 60's? older? I'm not sure since we don't ask ages...) collectors) and we always have a great time. I've also met some really great friends through the meetups who I wouldn't have met otherwise. ^^

 

I never really thought about what age other doll collectors are. I just sort of assumed they'd be older, partially because the dolls themselves are somewhat expensive. I certainly wouldn't have been able to afford one as a teen, but I guess things change.

 

If I knew from experience that a certain meet up would consist of immature people who continuously moon random people with their dolls, have doll orgies in public, display other immature behaviour, and don't stop if you request them to, then yes, I would feel too old for that meet up and not attend. Luckily this is rarely the case and you can screen for meet ups with a mixed age group.
Meet ups at people's homes often take away the issue of staring bystanders. Staring doll people when you are not doing something inapproprate are rude and then it's not you, it's them who are rude. There are non-rude people. Don't waste time on rude people. Keep in mind that you can always leave if you don't feel comfortable at a meet up.

But the common factor that ties everybody together at a meet up are the dolls. Sometimes you have to go to a meet up to test the water and see for yourself people are okay. We may be all different, but we can all talk about dolls.
My experience is that the first one or two meet ups are a bit socially awkward, but once you get the hang of it and get to know a few people better it becomes a lot of fun.

 

I am decades older than 26 and also feel shy about attending meetups, so I usually don't. Most of the people who attend meetups in my city are in their 20's, with a few younger and a few older, so I think you will probably fit right in with most owners. The local people I've met are very nice, but I just don't have much in common with them besides owning dolls, so I post on forums instead of venturing out.

 

I'm 30 and while I'd love to try to go to a meet-up, I am not sure about it. I'd hope there were people around my age there, as I too would not feel comfortable in a group of teens. So, I understand your feelings on it. Though, I'd love to think there are other collectors around my age out there.

 

i had someone local msg me reguarding dolls, she didn't know a thing about me, and was shy because she was "older" (pppshaw I say) She was surprised to find out 1) I'm 31 2) i'm on the younger side of some doll collectors. You can't let age hamper you tho, because you all have dolls in common, you might find a 19 year old whos got tons of information and great ideas, and a 50 year old who just got in to it. The great thing about doll meets is... you all have one thing in common.

also... I failed anime 101. I have discovered you mention the words Dnd and they come out of the wood work!

 

I'm 32 and have no issues going to meetups. The ones around my area tend to be a mix of ages -- you do get some younger owners, but you get a lot of people in their twenties, some in their thirties, and some even older than that. Also, with meetups you automatically have something in common with everyone else there -- abjds.

 

for my local meet ups never had an issue at all. we all know each other pretty well, and always invite the new people to join us. and our age group varies also.

i've only dealt with rude impolite people at anime convention doll meet ups. don't know why, probably because people from different areas having different customs and habbits i guess.

most recent con meet up i went was full of rude people, more so than normal it seemed. we were in a public area and poeple were very loudly and rudely complaining about the other congoers being in the area that didn't have dolls. and someone telling me how hideos my doll was and how much better hers was. after i compliminted her doll, they were even the same head mold. she even knocked over several dolls on the table and didn't apologies or try to catch any of them. that one meet up really turned me off i think from going to anymore at that con.

really the only way to see if you'll enjoy your local meet ups is to go. see if you fit in. just like with any freinds or poeple you hang out with you got to get to know each other to see if you like each other and want to keep hanging out. cause you don't know till you go. and if it doesn't work out maybe travel a little further and hit some other meet up groups.

 

There's a very interesting Dolly Debate thread related to this topic, though it starts from the "other end" of the age range. That thread is pretty active right now, too: http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?367429-The-Age-Gap

I have to say that I've pretty much quit going to the regional meetups that people announce here on DoA, after feeling hugely uncomfortable and embarrassed at the next-to-last one I attended. It was just a small meetup, held at a restaurant, and I thought I knew everyone there . . . but I was really put off by the way the college-aged people (not young teenagers!!) shrieked and squealed and stood up to hug and kiss their dolls. It felt like they were trying to make everyone in the restaurant pay attention to them, and to my mind that was rude to all the people who only stopped in for lunch. I decided that I was happier meeting up with just one or two close friends, at one of our own homes.

I will say, though, that I had a lovely BJD lunch at that same restaurant about a year later. About five of us, all of a similar age, got together with a few dolls. No shrieking, no hugging & kissing, no LOOKATME!! behavior.

I really hate feeling that I want to avoid meetups with younger BJD owners; it clashes horribly with my beliefs about how people of different ages and backgrounds can relate to each other. But I think the sense of boundaries and of what's appropriate behavior in a public place can be very, very different for people (at least American people) in their 40s and people in their teens and 20s. I'm more comfortable on the "restrained and quiet" end of the behavior spectrum, and so I guess I need to choose my activities accordingly.

 

The people at the (admittedly few) meetups I've been to have ranged from about 16-30, which seems to me like a nice medium ground. They've all been nice enough, too, that I think anyone who wanted to participate could enjoy themselves regardless of age. Naturally it varies from area to area -- I've heard of a couple groups who are like "ew you're under 30? go away" but that seems pretty unusual. Picky groups aside, what it comes down to in my mind is personal readiness. Maybe you're not that social, or maybe you've had too many negative responses, I don't know, but for whatever reason, you just might not be ready to jump into a meetup full of strangers.

The one big comfort to me is that we all have something in common. Something that we love. So no matter the age of the person sitting next to you, no matter what YOUR age is, if things get awkward you have a common topic of interest to default to. And age doesn't matter when you're asking what size eyes somebody's kid is wearing, or where they got their wig.

Maybe your hesitance is your subconscious saying "um, not yet." Which is fine! Listen to it. But remember what everybody's saying in this thread. Maybe eventually you'll just wake up and decide, "I'm doing it this time!"

I did! =D

 

Haha I was at a meetup when I was 20, and I felt waaaay older than everyone else They were mostly 14-18 year olds. I remember one 14 year old asking me how old I was, and was shocked that a 20-year-old would be talking to her so willingly She thought I was like 16 XD

It's not so bad, really.

 

I guess I'm still confounded that a teenager could afford a BJD XD When I was a teenager I couldn't even afford food!

 

I've only been to one meetup and I guess I've been a bit of a solo type for most of my doll enthusiast days. I'm pretty sure I was one of the older people at the meetup (I'm in my late 20s). Most of the interaction I partake in is through online communities and I have been more comfortable with that. I do have doll friends of course, but I don't think the friendship and bonding with them is only about dolls.

 

That's been my experience too -- the only places I've had trouble with other doll people or the general public has been at conventions. Though there have been nice people at con meetups too, but the the few bad apples I've run into have also been at cons. I remember some years back some lady trying to convince my friend that her mini DZ's hands were clearly a recast of DoD. The whole thing was preposterous, as my other friend had DoD's to compare them to and it was clear to anyone with eyes that their hands had very little in common. The odd part was that I didn't get the feeling that the woman was being intentionally rude so much as she had absolutely no social skills and didn't know when to keep her mouth shut. As I recall, she was not a younger hobbyist either.

 

So far I haven't come across any doll meetup ....I guess I must be neglecting events happening around me...However I still love my dolls
I chose them and I got them as gift,as my companion
I do agree that to certain extent some doll collectors are anime/manga fan since personally,I'm one....Recently I'm also into using my sons as my models to draw my own story
I guess age doesn't really matter...It's the attitude and the questions which matter-_-...

 

That's too bad some have met people who were being this rude. I've never had this kind of problems at conventions and I've been going to conventions for more than 15 years or so. Started with Star Trek fan gatherings, then some bigger events, Utopia, even been to FedCon once. Now I'm visiting about all of the anime conventions around the country, except for Yaoi-con, just not my thing. People are friendly, even taking consideration because you're carrying a dolfie around.
I think some people lack social education and this country is no different. Although anti-social people around here don't visit anime- or scifi conventions. They just yell crap at people on the streets and vote Wilders, if they vote at all.
Best to steer away from people who lack respect for others, just because they think certain dolls are inferior to theirs. If they prefer to be with their own select group, so be it.

 

I can kinda understand how this could be a problem, probably a problem more conceivable if you are an older collector. I'm just shy, so the first meet I went to, which was around three years ago, I felt really old, and I was only like, 20-21 at the time. It was probably all my perception, but everyone there seemed to already know eachother and such, and I have a hard time including myself in things as it is, so while no one was rude or dis included me (it's a word, shhhh), I just felt like that kid from middle school who moved from another school to find everyone was already best friends and had been for years.

Recently I went to a meet where I'm sure everyone was around their 20s, and someone's mother was there, and she was very interested, said she was gonna get her own doll soon. I thought that was great, both that she was someone's mother who was not only supportive, but involved, but also that she in no way seemed put off by our ages, nor were we hers.

Long story short, go for it, no matter your age. If the people there are immature, then don't associate with them, but I feel like there's probably a wider range of people than you'd think.