Reconnecting With a Doll

Hmm I think if you really feel no connection with it whatsoever, maybe it's worth rehoming your doll, so someone who maybe has been looking for one for a while can enjoy it, but if you don't want to sell because it was your first doll (totally understandable btw!), and you think it's a beautiful doll, you can always just have it on display as it is. As long as it's still enjoyable for you, there's nothing wrong with it! It seems you just have a preference for your Xie Lian, but maybe at some point you'll connect with your first as well!

 

What I’ve done with dolls I felt disconnected to was to give them a new faceup (or commission it), try new wig and eye combinations, and just play around with the aesthetics. It’s amazing how a new look can change how you feel about a doll. If that still doesn’t work, then they would go on the marketplace.

 

There's nothing wrong with enjoying a doll, but not having a huge connection to it. If you enjoy looking at it, why not keep it? As long as you have the room and it's not keeping you from getting a doll you would prefer, there's no harm in it.

 

A) New wig
B) New faceup.

Note that I don't love all of my dolls equally.
Some I photograph over and over
Some make me smile every time I look at them.
Some only represent a single character...

 

New/different eyes and wig are an easy starting point. Just the action of that, holding and working with the doll may spark a fresh and positive feeling about him.

 

As a few have stated before, sometimes wiping the slate clean and giving him a new look is a good place to start! You can try giving him a new wardrobe, new eyes, new wig, and if you're comfortable with it you can give him a new face up or commission one. I think this may work best if he didn't have a character to begin with or no longer fits what you had in mind for a character. If it's the former, maybe creating a character for him will help! If it's the latter, perhaps he is best suited for a different character? I'm not sure if creating characters is something you like to do, but maybe you feel more connected to Xie Lian because he is already embodying a character? (A beloved one at that, I love him too! ) It's just a suggestion, but that may have something to do with it?

I have been through this, one of my dolls no longer fits what I had in mind for my character. I tried to reconnect with her by trying to shell her into another one of my characters and by trying to create a new character. Unfortunately, I was not able to reconnect and she went up for sale. It happens! It's not a bad thing to disconnect, even if he is your first doll. If he still brings you joy and like having him around, then maybe don't sell him or wait! Maybe there's a different way to reconnect apart from what has already been suggested. It's honestly up to you, there is no right or wrong answer and you never know when a new spark of interest will happen

 

Some people don't bond with dolls. They keep them because they're pretty to look at and nothing more. Nothing wrong with that!

But yes, I have had dolls where the interest changes over time. I currently have two girls that I had previously, lost all interest, sold both, then really regretted it and brought them back! That's an extreme case of losing interest and finding it again! The thing that changed my mind in both cases was that both girls were very pretty dolls that I loved looking at, but also that I had lost interest in the characters and they had no place in my stories, but then later on, my stories shifted and I found room for them again. So if you're into writing or roleplay, maybe find a place he fits? Sometimes working on a character helps me bond with a doll.

 

Well, it happens sometimes, right? You plot and plan and bring home a doll…and then later along comes another one who totally eclipses it! And you don’t even realize it until that new doll is actually in your hands. You’re completely mesmerized, and everything else suddenly pales in comparison. And then the quandary…what to do about it? Many here have given you excellent suggestions about a shift in character, style, eyes, wig or faceup. Hopefully that will help. But be aware that sometimes selling may be all that works for you, so just know that doing such a thing is totally fine as well. This happened in a rather drastic way to me. I’d been happily and contentedly collecting for a few years when I ordered my Dollzone Anson (see my avatar.) From the moment I saw her, she became my grail. I ordered her blank, and when I first opened her box I was completely awestruck! Within a few days I was looking around at my other dolls and sadly realizing that her character was so huge in scope, that she made them all redundant by comparison. I made the very difficult decision to sell them all, and build my new collection around her instead. Sounds drastic, I know. But over a decade later I can proudly look back and know that this was the best decision I could have made. Today, I adore each and every doll that I’ve added since, and haven’t needed to sell in years. I’m so happy and have remained completely content with my collection since that major reboot.

 

To help reconnect for me I've realized an outfit/wig or character change can help a lot! I've gotten some dolls that have fallen into different aesthetics or characters I didn't originally plan but it just fit better and really helped me enjoy the doll more. When that doesn't work it is then I consider selling the doll. I understand not wanting to sell your first doll since for a lot of people they're special, but sometimes its for the best. I sold my first girl and put the money towards new outfits for my favorite doll and I was much happier and didn't feel bad about her laying in a closet anymore.

 

Something to consider--if you like the idea of an existing character, but also feel a disconnect because he isn't "yours", maybe you could create your own character for him, but with inspiration from the original? I often do that with my dolls. Many of them have inspiration from celebrities or existing tv or movie characters, but they are their own characters. I just take a few bits I really like, then build around that.

 

As others have said - new eyes, new wig, new face-up - all have helped me find who a doll's true character is. In the case of my Lishe, she never seemed to really fit with my other dolls. In the end, I came back to her recently after several years, took a good look at her, and decided to mod her torso from female to male. She is slowly turning into the resin form of Derenly, an RP character I play in World of Warcraft - and something has finally clicked. As a girl, she was a pretty doll but nothing more. As Derenly, a male elf, I adore him and I finally feel a sense of bonding at last.

 

I love my Xie Lian too! He's such a perfect doll to me. I've never had that experience with a doll (as Xie Lian was my first) but I'm also an anime figure collector, and that's a feeling I've had before. Losing touch with a figure- either because of the character it represents or the figure itself- happens to me sometimes. The most recent was, like yours, something I wanted for a long time and managed to get on the aftermarket, a Super Pochaco figure (her wedding version). I got it in January, so not long ago. But I began to lose touch with the figure and the character (probably because it was a character that my ex introduced me to and after our breakup it left a bad taste in my mouth), I decided to sell her since she's a relatively sought-after figure and I knew someone else would love her. Then, I used the money I got from her to go towards the Hua Cheng Ringdoll that I preordered!

So as with many of the other commenters, there's nothing wrong with rehoming a doll you no longer love if you can't get that connection again. You shouldn't have to force yourself to like something, as in my opinion, that just goes against what this hobby is all about. Dolls come and go, and you should have what makes you happy instead of what you feel obligated to have, first doll or no first doll! I had a similar feeling about my first Nendoroid from a series I no longer support, and I was reluctant for a while because I felt bad about not liking or caring for him anymore, but I put him into storage (can't resell him because I bought him when I was 12 and his box is gone, as well as his extra pieces for some reason). A good idea may be putting him away for a couple weeks and seeing if you miss him? If you don't, then resell, but if you do, keep him!