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Selling a doll to buy a doll or not connecting with the one you bought

Sep 14, 2012

    1. Hi,
      I am one of the unfortunate people who must sell a doll to get one that suits me better.
      I wish I could see and hold every doll out there so I know what I want for sure but im a hands on person and I must hold something to asses it.....
      I see so many people that own 3 or more dolls and keep them ....I wish I could do that.
      I was recently turned down to buy a doll on layaway only because she said I sell my dolls too often...that was very sad to me for some reason and I just want to see if theres others out there that have to sell a doll or parts to get another???...its silly of me to keep a doll or a head that either doesnt fit..doesnt match or I dont really like in person and as long as I can I want to buy dolls and parts ..see if they work for me and if not resell them to get something else that I might want more.
      am I the only one that has to do this here on DOA?
       
    2. That's a really weird reason not to sell a doll to a person, first off :/
      Anyway, I am very much like you. I've been selling to buy ever since I got into the hobby. I started 'trading in' so to speak early on, after I bought my third doll or so.
      In four years I have owned at least 30 dolls and heads, but never more than 8 at the time (until recently, when I had 10).
      Personally I don't see anything wrong with it. Some dolls I just did not bond with, even though they got me so excited when I first saw them. Others I just finish customizing and then they simply have to move on.
      This hobby is very personal. You can't know if you're going to like a doll in person just as much as in images. You don't know if you will grow to love it, or if it's simply not there.
      I have never been told I sell too much dolls. Maybe people think it, but they have never told me this to my face. If this would be a reason not to sell me anything I would be rather ticked off to be honest, or at least a bit sad. It's not as if this style of collecting makes you a 'bad owner' (if there even is such a thing) and it doesn't mean the doll won't be loved. You just don't know for how long this will be.

      I honestly don't care what people think about my dolls and doll-habits, but I can understand why it would be upsetting if someone's opinion got in the way of you buying a doll.
       
    3. I think what you're describing is very common. I too wish I could see them in person before buying! I even made a (somewhat idiotic) thread about wishing there was a BJD rental service.I think I've bought 25 full dolls and sold 6 full dolls.

      I'm surprised that someone refused to sell a doll to you because you "sell too often". I like to think dolls I sell will go to a home where they'll be appreciated more than they were when I had them, but I can't imagine turning down a sale for that reason.
       
    4. I'm in this very situation right now. I fell in love with a full set doll via the pictures. I too wish I had see one first hand. I loved the faceup and outfit -- it was something totally up my alley and I worked my butt off to get him paid off. I was so excited when I got the ship notice! Then I opened the box...

      The faceup is more dramatic than I wanted but I still liked it. The body sculpt is nice, but I have trouble with his torso. Then when changing his clothing and leaving him out for a few hours naked, I finally figured out what it was that was bothering me about him: he has (what I feel to be) a small head. Now that is all I see when I see him. I tried getting him a new head but the resins did not match at all. Everytime I look at him, I'm disappointed. I really wish I had the chance to see him up close and personal first. He was the first doll I ordered and the second I got and I'm just not going to keep him.

      So now I'm looking to sell him to pay for a doll I HAVE seen up close and *love* the sculpt on. I think having an ever changing family is part of the hobby and selling one to get another that just might be the perfect match is perfectly normal.

      and my .02: I agree with others that it was totally weird that someone would not sell you something because you "sell too often". O_o
       
    5. I can totally understand about being a 'hands-on' person. If you've already considered this, forgive me, but it might be a good idea to try out a doll meet? If there's not a local one in your area, maybe it'd be worth trying to start one? Or, at the very least, maybe try to get to a somewhat nearby one once or twice a year? Lots of groups do a 'maintenance meetup' where cleaning and restringing are the main topic- perfect for seeing sculpts inside and out! It might help you decide what you do and don't like without having to own them all yourself. Even if it's a rather far distance to travel, it maybe worth the cost versus having to sell several brand-new dolls at secondhand prices.
       
    6. Of course! I'll take it one step further, actually. <3

      I often sell my doll(s) to get a new doll.
      Because this hobby is so expensive, I will usually "only" buy new dolls with "old doll" money. ^_^

      It helps me save-up for my new doll, and often the price of my sold doll pays off my layaway. ^___^

      Also, because old dolls take so long to sell, I'm able to focus on my new character. Within the 2 or 3 months it takes for me to sell my unwanted doll, I can make up an entirely new "character" for the new kid. (I like to write about my dolls but I'm really bad at it, so it takes me a long time to finish even 1 story. =P ) Then, once I have my "new doll" money, I have a fully-realized new OC set in motion. <3
       
    7. There is definitely a large segment of the community that does just what you do. I witness it all the time. I am a bit baffled by the sellers response when turning you down... perhaps they just come from a very emotional place with dolls and want the doll to go to a "forever" home, but that's really impossible to do. No one knows what circumstances might come up that cause them to need to sell their dolls.
       
    8. I go through this all the time, you're definitely not alone. I've gotten some flack from people for being a "revolving door" with dolls, but I don't see the sense in keeping something I don't love, so I sell the ones I don't like and use that money for something I hopefully will like. :)
       
    9. thank you so much
      Snow
      FrigidDamsel
      LilDedLenore
      my girl Ukelala
      Ingy
      NoDivision and cedarheart....im soooo happy that im not the only dollie merrygoround person here...it makes me feel better.
      I have gotten a faceup before to make a head more appealing to me but even that didnt help so I sold the head and the person that did the faceup was really POd...so I worry sometimes im breaking the DOA rules..someone hinted before that I would just buy dolls to resell and make money but if anybody ever checked into it they would see I loose on average anywere from $50-$200 on my resales because I want to get another doll or head quickly ..so I loose alot of money.
      a meetup would be nice sometime...
      I love these dolls..
      thanks guys
       
    10. Wow, that's intensely wack for that seller to do such a thing. Not to mention intensely unprofessional. It's none of her business how you manage your own collection & finances.

      But I guess it's her business if she wants to be a flaky seller. Guess she doesn't really need the money from that sale. Maybe she should take down that Marketplace ad, and sell the doll only to her best friends & relatives after making them sign "Never Sell" agreements. :roll:
       
    11. I think it’s the nature of this hobby to buy and sell. When my daughter started selling off her first round of dolls I actually thought I was going to throw up! Not only because I had bonded with her dolls but the sheer expense of them that I thought she would lose. But then I realized the beauty of this hobby is that you can buy and sell without losing value (unless you’re impatient) and try different sculpts, sizes, and companies.

      If we could all go to a store and touch and feel them, hold them, dress them I think we could pick the right dolls every time but since most all of it is done over the internet I think we’re very fortunate to have market places like DOA. All my dolls are from the market place and my very first one I got to see in person, pick up and check her out but the rest of my purchases where just taking a chance on liking the sculpt in person.

      My daughter has a whole new collection of dolls, some may stay and some may go. I still haven’t decided if I’m keeping my SD but it’s OK. You’re completely normal. Hope you get that perfect one that makes you happy!
       
    12. I completely agree with this. I mean, do I want the owner of a doll I'm selling second-hand to enjoy it? Sure, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to sell it to them if I suspect they're going to turn around and sell it themselves.

      But as for the question at hand, yes I have sold dolls with the intent of buying different ones. As it is, I usually wind up having to use the money for something else when the doll finally does sell. I've also had dolls that I fell in love with at first, but wound up selling later on. Like you, I wish I could handle more dolls before buying them, especially since the next one I plan to buy is a DZ/DC adult hybrid, which will be roughly 68 cm, and the tallest doll I've had so far is 63.5 cm. Am I a little scared that once I buy the doll, I'll turn around and sell her? Of course. I think that much is natural. But that's not going to keep me from at least getting my hands on a doll I love.
       
    13. I think a seller has the right to turn down a buyer for any reason they choose (given that they haven't agreed to the sale!). Nobody has to sell their possessions in some specifically democratic fashion.

      I think we are all pretty aware that people handle the BJD hobby in different ways and some people feel very emotional about their dolls and even guilty about selling them. They want to imagine it's going to a "forever home" and not into a revolving door. I can get that even though it's not my style.

      I do buy with the intention to keep but sometimes it doesn't work out or a sculpt comes along that better fits my character idea. I will sell those things in order to replace them. I don't have the spare money or space to keep things I don't have a need for. I don't always understand how people can replace all of their dolls with great frequency though, because I do get a attached to them to a degree, so that's not my style either.

      So I can see both sides of this.
       
    14. My feelings would be hurt too if someone refused to sell me a doll for that reason. It is true that a person can sell to whoever they wantbut I think if it was important to me that a doll I was selling go to a buyer who Planned to keep it, it would be nice to say so in the listing selling the doll.
       
    15. I'm in the minority here. I get deeply attach to the dolls I bring home. Right now I'm trying to sell one just because I haven't bonded with him. I have also sold 3 dolls in the past but I needed the money for school...

      The ones I currently have will never go. They're family: ]
       
    16. I guess I'm in the minority here too for thinking that the seller has a right to not sell the doll (if the sell hasn't been agreed to yet). They probably have a stong attachment to the doll but are perhaps forced to sell it? They just really want to find someone who will cherish the doll as much as they do and not just sell it off again after a short while. That is rather heartbreaking if you think about it. One moment you think you've found a good home for your beloved doll, then the next moment you see it up for sale on the marketplace again.

      The seller probably did a check on the buyer and saw that they buy and sell dolls frequently. Even if the buyer isn't doing so to make money, it does make the situation worrisome for the seller. It does make the seller wonder what the buyer's real motives are for buying their doll.
       
    17. You know, this reminds me of a few years ago when I rushed and bought WAY too many dolls in a short time period, didn't bond because I didn't do proper research and I sold several within 6 months. I've also made the mistake of buying because they were cheap, and not what I really loved. After selling several, a less than friendly person started bringing up the term "flipper" a lot...I ended up asking someone what that meant and the explanation I got was that it's a negative term used for someone who buys and sells dolls constantly, usually for profit...welll....I can tell you for SURE that I wasn't making any profit on these dolls!! But it still upset me that others were thinking badly of me simply because I made a mistake and was trying to fix it.

      Now, I try to think hard about a character before buying a doll. Chances are, if I don't relate to a character, I won't like the doll, strange as it sounds. And often, even changing the character doesn't work, as I only see the doll as the former character.

      I understand that maybe the OP's seller backed out because the doll meant something to her and she didn't want to see it get passed around. But at the same time, by the time a doll is ready to be sold, I would think a person would have little to no attachment to her. (unless it was an "emergency" sale...though if that were the case, I'd think she'd want the money asap, regardless of terms) You really can't make "rules" for a buyer. Once you sell the doll, it is no longer yours and the new owner can do as they please with it. It's THEIR money, and now THEIR doll. I once sold one of my girls to somebody who wanted to hack her up for modding practice. Made me a little sad, since she was a gorgeous doll, but in the end, I got the money I wanted for her and had no bond or use for her....I couldn't tell her new owner not to hurt her!

      I've been content with my rather large crew for awhile now, selling only for upgrading purposes. I just decided a few days ago that I needed for sure to thin the herd. As long as I'm getting what I want for my dolls, I don't really care what the future owner does with them, whether that be use them for practice, resell, stick them in a box forever or love them to bits for all eternity. The money I get for them will be going back into the hobby to get bodies for my floating heads. I don't feel the least bit guilty for selling dolls for new doll money. I'd feel a lot worse if I were skipping paying bills for doll money....
       
    18. yes, i've bought dolls that were nothing like i expected them to be at all when i got them in person. i think selling them is totally justified; the feeling of disappointment is really, really terrible especially when (for me) it's often been the ones i was most excited for that disappointed me and the ones i wasn't that pleasantly surprised - so go figure.

      when i get a doll that disappoints, i often take them out of the box a few times or try to photograph them in order to bond with them, but if it doesn't work then i tend to just box them right back up and wait to sell them. i currently have 4 dolls i am thinking of selling because of this...

      i own 7 other resin dolls that i am currently happy with but that ratio is still incredibly bad when you compare it to my vinyl doll collection like my Dollfie Dreams or VMF50s (Obitsu) - i have never been unhappy with a single one of those and i own 6 and 2 of each type and have never had the desire to sell one.

      maybe i just have really bad luck with resin dolls, or maybe there is something about them that is just deceptive - with vinyl dolls i've always felt like i got exactly what i expected, but with resin dolls they can often look NOTHING like other owner pictures OR official site pictures.
       
    19. I'm pretty philosophical about it all...I believe a doll will find its way into the hands of it's perfect owner one day no matter what, and until then, we're all just temporary guardians and facilitators of it's journey.:) It may be a rather pollyanna-esque view, but it's truly how I see it. For me, it's always been about refining my collection to make it perfect for telling my stories...and not surprisingly, that has taken some time and effort (and yes, some sales too) to get to that point. I started off with SD size, but after a year of not being completely happy, finally realized that their size was overpowering the displays I'd made to tell their stories. So I made the drastic decision to sell them all and use the money to buy MSDs instead. It happily turned out to be the perfect decision for me. And along the way I also bought a tiny fairyland realpuki whose character somehow managed to outgrow her tiny body all on it's own.:doh I adored the "fairylike" aspect of her size however, so I was reluctant to let her go. But when the perfect MSD sculpt for that specific character was released, I then sold her in order to buy it. Later I purchased another realpuki (in a newly released sculpt) that was an even more perfect embodiment of a little fairy for me. I gave her an entirely new character which she did not outgrow, and she will stay with me forever now. It has taken me a long time and many sales along the way to get to this happy place with my collection...but it's also been a fascinating learning experience that I've truly enjoyed.
       
    20. I won't sell a doll to buy another. The only to sell a doll is when I just can't bond. Like my Puki. I tried bonding with her for months now and it just doesn't work. So sooner or later she will have to leave. No idea when that will be, I'm not in a hurry. When I do I will probably use the funds to buy another doll but that's not the reason I will sell her.