Taking your dolls out for the day, but not bringing attention to yourself?

I've done this before; Over the summer, my Japanese tutor was very interested in my dolls, so every week I would bring her a different one. Even with the big ones in tow, nobody said or looked much at me. People carry interesting things around all the time, and the most reaction I've ever gotten was genuine intrigue.
When I travel with my dolls to the airport, sometimes at security they will open up the rolling suitcase the larger ones are in because they're not sure what they are on the scan. This is the only time I get anxious about it because when security checks your bag, you aren't allowed to walk them through it or open it yourself, and they can be a little haphazard with dolls because they assume they're the normal "garden variety" baby dolls or barbies.
Other than that, I've taken tinies to classes before to keep me company in the week that I get them, I just can't stop admiring them! One classmate asked me how much I paid for my DC Ada and expressed confusion that I would spend so much on something so little, but everyone's got their own hobby and she enjoys my dolls when I post them on my blog.
(Sorry I'm not sticking to the template ; Also, I'm a fairly shameless person so standing out or looking dumb in public usually isn't a concern of mine, but I won't go out of my way to show off a doll to strangers. I still think though that I wouldn't carry around an MSD or an SD on a regular day though. It's different at conventions because the streets are flooded with strange looking people, which makes a girl toting around expensive dolls less out of the ordinary. At conventions, I've taken multiple dolls around in one of those large insulated bags you can buy at some grocery stores, which was able to comfortably fit 1 SD, 1 MSD, 3 Yo-SD's and 1 tiny with room for my phone, wallet, and doll maintenance supplies. I'd recommend that if you don't want to use a rolling suitcase or an "actual" doll bag.

 

I don't really care what others think of me. I've carried an MSD with no case, into stores because I wanted to try out miniature stuff they had with her.

 

I've taken my dolls to to a few "mundane" places for the heck of it. I took my Bobobie Apollo, Amadeus, to a craft show in my area and carried him around on my shoulder the entire time. I wanted to see if there would be any doll-sized props and such there, and at the time, I didn't have a carrier or anything for him (and frankly, if I'm going to constantly be comparing items to him for scale, it's easier to just have him out the whole time anyway).

I don't get to go to meetups often, but I actually tend to conceal my dolls more when I do go to them. This is purely because of the quantity of dolls I bring though--it's easier to carry six or seven dolls in bags rather than just in your arms.

How prominent I make the doll in public depends on what size doll it is. If I bring an SD (which I don't do often--normally only for events like the craft show), I'll carry them on my shoulder, because honestly, toting around my long, black SD carrier bag is going to attract more attention than that, and wind up being more cumbersome than anything. If I'm taking out an MSD/multiple YOSDs, I'll generally put them in my MSD bag, which just looks like a fancy camera bag and doesn't call much attention to itself. If I'm bringing one YOSD, I'll put them in a small backpack with my other things (sketchpad, handheld game systems, etc) because it's just easier than carrying them, and I'll do the same with tinies if I don't put them in my pocket instead.

For me, when I bring a doll somewhere public, it's either because I want to take pictures somewhere specific, I want to have it on me for scale comparison for props, or I'm having a crummy day and just want to have one with me (though this one is rare). It becomes "too much" attention when people are pointing (rudely, not just to point the doll out to a friend or something), making harsh comments, or generally being any kind of negative about it. I get that having a doll in public is socially abnormal, but there's no reason to be rude about it. However, I don't mind if someone approaches me and is genuinely curious about them.

I would never actively show people my dolls though. If they're interested and they want to ask me about them: awesome, I'm more than happy to inform them and chat. However, the idea of purposely going out of my way to show them to someone/talk to someone about them is kind of weird. One doesn't normally approach strangers at all, so to approach them about something incredibly niche while doing something that's conventionally considered strange doesn't exactly seem like a great idea in my eyes. To me, it kind of screams, "Look at me, I'm doing something weird, pay attention to me!" and I've been around enough high-schoolers that that got old years ago.

I think the best way to combat negative reactions is to either ignore it, or have some really great snarky comebacks--people hate being shown up by those they think are "below" them, and it's kind of awesome to see them fall apart after they've been complete jerks to you. It's not really the moral high road, but I'm never above knocking someone down a few pegs if they're going to act like that to a total stranger. Pointing out how rude/childish they're being works sometimes too. Rude people often don't know what to do when they've been blatantly called out on what they're doing.

"It's so weird that you're carrying a doll around in public."

"Well, you must think awfully highly of yourself to think your opinions matter to a complete stranger."

 

I've taken my first doll outside out of a case before on the subway and bus out here. I was going to Michaels out with him, on the train I might of gotten a oooo whats that look. At Micheals I got 'OMG what is that and where did you get it' reactions, and on the bus people took extra care to not bump into me or shove me anyone who's been on a bus in nyc knows the bumping cant be helped sometimes so that was something.
Not sure if this one counts but during Dollism NY in Buffalo I stayed about 2-3 blocks away from the Hyatt (Con was held there at the convention center in it) and I walked twice with my doll(s) in hand some people had a ok I know what this is expression maybe seeing them recently with all the doll owners in the area. While others were like wth is that or why does she have a doll in her hand she's not 4.

I say if you want an outing with a doll breath in set your self to do it and then just go with it. If your in a concrete jungle like me they are conversation starters for sure. My boss was abit embarrassed she asked me to see my doll and when I told her I had her in my purse she rushed me to her office so she can squeal in private XD

Edit: Questions
What do you do to prepare yourself, physically and mentally, to head to a public space with a doll in tow for a day among the general populace?

Discussion topics and questions:

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community? Yup

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions? No

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively? I'd have it in my arms

If you would try to hide it, why bring it out in the first place? How much attention is too much?
It would be in my arms on on the table in fount of me sitting no hiding possible

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions? I'd just act normal if someone approachs i'd answer their questions. Negative nancys are just ignored.

 

I take my dolls out often. Nobody says anything. 2 ladies once asked to see one of my guys and the one said if he were bigger she would date him. lol.

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community?
Yes

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions?
No.

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively?
No, if I take one, I carry it in my arms.

If you would try to hide it, why bring it out in the first place? How much attention is too much?
I wouldn't. It's nobodies business what I am doing.

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions?
I never actively show my dolls..just carry them around or pose them for a pic somewhere. I've never encountered negativity but I would ignore it.

 

I mostly only own SD sized dolls (got one MSD, 2 yoSDs and a tiny pet doll as well, but over 20 SDs), so it's hard to hide them. I do have a giant tote that I have stuck up to 4 SDs in before, but it's pretty obvious I'm carrying SOMETHING...with hair.

I really don't care who sees my dolls. The only time I take them out but hide them is if it's easier to carry them in the bag, or I think they might be in danger---rain, snow, grabby children, I need both hands to hold things, etc. If I have no intention of taking the doll out of the bag at all, I see no point in taking them out at all, it's just a hassle. When I do take them out, I don't push them on people, that might come off as weird and creepy. haha But usually, at least someone will ask "What's with the doll?" and if they seem nice, I'll explain what I'm doing. If it's in a rude way, I'll just answer "art" or "photography" and carry on.

 

I also wouldn't take my doll out (if not for a meet) except for photoshoots and then, preferably, somewhere nice and lonely in the countryside^^. Could, on the other hand, imagine taking up to MSD sized on a journey with me for sightseeing.
The thought of "actively showing" dolls to others not involved is funny, it's not like I'm trying to sell anything ... I do my best to ignore random people passing by if I'm taking photos let's say, out in nature. Nonetheless I caught myself with a broad grin on my face when I carried one of my SD sized boys in my arms, in a mall (but that was for a meet, I don't like being the focus of attention forjust anybody).

 

Sometimes I feel embarrassed but I don't know, everybody has their hobbie their passions, and though some people might not understand and do comments about it.. they will forget and you'll have enjoyed your dollies when you feel like doing it so... who cares!

 

I have taken my doll out with me a few times. I took them to the mall once when I had my friend with me, only one or two people noticed the rest left us alone. I do take mine to conventions it's awesome to meet others in the hobby and even introduce them to the hobby. The biggest time out I would say was when I took one of my dolls to Vegas and did a photo shoot with her I had a few kids look at her and about 3 adults the rest left me alone. It is fun because I do do all the work on my dolls and I always try to promote my dolls where I can and I have never gotten negative feedback. People are usually nice they might think it is weird but when they find out how much money is involved in this they start singing another tune.

 

Yes, but only to craft and toy stores. One went with me to the AT&T store but that was because I'd just left a craft store. I just held him like normal and then sat him on a little pedestal where I stood.

I don't carry one about everyday just to carry. I need my hands too much and my shoulders have enough weight to carry from my chest without adding a doll to that.

 

I've taken dolls everywhere. Even on airplanes, to Tahiti, Catalina Island, all kinds of public places. Just be prepared for people to approach you. I've never had anyone be other than polite and friendly and curious. If you are going to do it often, print up a little FAQ about ball jointed dolls and give it to people. People take their cues from you. If you are confident in what you're doing, no one will bother you (other than to ask you about them). I don't mind people asking me about them and figure it is a way to educate the general public about these amazing dolls.

Odd fact: If a couple (male and female) approaches me, it is always the MAN who asks me all of the questions. Every single time.

The worst thing is when you are concentrating on trying to get a tricky shot. Also when people stand in the way and make shadows. Just politely ask them to move over.

I just had a show of over 70 photographs of my ball-jointed dolls at the Arts Center here, and the response I got was amazing. This was definitely a "non-BJD" crowd, and they had never seen anything like them. One young woman said she had actually seen this type of doll before, at Comic Con. She is a teacher at the local high school. She was fascinated and approached the people holding the dolls, and they were EXTREMELY stand-offish and unfriendly. She felt bad and embarrassed for having approached them. So remember that you are kind of the Ambassadors for the hobby when you are out with the dolls, and be nice to people who are interested.

 

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community?
Yes, If I catch a wiff of a doll sized item I bring my dolls out shopping with me so that I can compare size without eyeballing. I also take mine out on "photo trips" where we go to nice locations to take pictures. I also take them to work when I know the day is headed in a bothersome direction, or as a security blanket/ totem for when I have to do things that trigger my agoraphobia. Like public speaking in a room where I don't know a single person. (which is something I have to do often)


Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions?

Yes and no. I've made a special doll bag for my doll family. It is a messenger cut style with padded and reinforced tubes along the sides of the inside, leaving a space in the middle. Enough tubes for for 8 dolls, which is my limit. There are three on each side and two on each end. I slide the dolls into their tubes upright and carry the dolls around in the bag like it is a normal messenger bag. With this bag I look very civilian and normal, which allows me to carry around my dolls as much as I do. I don't carry any purses or bags at all though when I'm normal and don't have the dolls with me, so yes I'm dressing differently, but no...It doesn't look different.

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively?

I think my last question answers this. No I don't display them. But if I'm on a "photo outing" with them I do have them out and posing, and it's quite obvious they are there and I'm taking photos of them. When I am at meets and conventions, I bring my whole doll family, but keep them in the bag unless someone wants to see them, speak about them, or there's something I need to do with them. I've had people comment in the past that I bring too many dolls, but since they are not taking up extra space and are contained in the bag I fail to see the problem with bringing my whole doll family. I hate playing favorites with them, if one goes, they all go.

If you would try to hide it, why bring it out in the first place? How much attention is too much?
I use them as a coping mechanism for events and situations I know will trigger my agoraphobia. I can't always drag a close relation with me to events, and need to find ways of dealing on my own. Since I care about my dolls and see them as physical manifestations of my imagination and imaginary friends, they provide the needed crutch I require to get through the events without freaking out. Otherwise I could trigger a panic episode that would cause me to harm myself, lose consciousness, or repeatedly vomit, or all three. Even If they are not in the open, they are helping me, and I value that.
If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions?

It is seldom in my personality type to speak without being spoken to. Therefore I don't parade my dolls around unless that is the entire point of why we are there (like doll meets). I do have people come up to me and ask questions while I'm on my photo outings. Although I find that terrifying, I've had enough practice to be polite and answer questions, I've had a lot of lovely conversations this way. I think it helps that I refer to my BJD's as "figures" to civilians. In Texas at least, the word doll brings up the negative connotation of childish toys, or antique ceramic dolls. Using a different term cuts out the association with creepiness, and make them think of collectables and comic merch. Which are more easily accepted. I do think the fact that I live in Texas helps, since even though we are pretty conservative there is a wider tolerance in general, hence the leather daddy, and early gay communities were able to make a haven here. We also have Austin, and anything that isn't as weird as that city is seen as pretty okay, or if it is super weird they just assume you are from there.
As a whole carrying my dolls in public has been a positive experience. It's something I would urge someone to try before they condemn it.

 

*Kind of* a funny story: I planned to shoot some pictures of a SD-sized doll on the Bremerton Ferry. I have a Souldoll carrying case, which is long and narrow with a shoulder strap. As I carried my case across the ferry and then sat down with it I noticed several of the guards coming my way and unobtrusively sanding fairly close by. Without being too obvious they watched as I opened the bag. Then I saw them kind of laugh when I took out the doll and started photographing her. Apparently that long, narrow case was a little suspicious, because it is just about the right shape and size for a rifle.

 

Yeah, that's one of my larger concerns for me, that people will think I have a gun or something. I did see a cool carrying case that looked like a violin case though...

 

If you are carrying msd dolls, a soft trumpet case makes a really nice carrying case and doesn't call too much attention to you. With the bigger dolls, though, you're kind of stuck, unless you want to kind of fold them up and stick them in a large tote bag (which I have also done).

 

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community?
I'll only take my doll out on an errand if it's related to that doll, like buying fabric for them or taking their picture. I see little point in taking Amiga out grocery shopping.

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions?
Nope! I dress the same all the time, boring wardrobe. And I don't have a doll bag, so in my arms she goes! And I buckle her in when we're in the car unless there's someone with me to hold her.

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively?
I find that acting like it's perfectly normal is the best way to go. I hold Amiga with one arm, her arms wrapped over mine to make her more secure. Is it creepy to strangers? Probably a little. But acting all secretive and trying to hide her would look suspicious.

If you would try to hide it, why bring it out in the first place? How much attention is too much?
I don't want people poking my doll. I don't usually like to talk to strangers either. If displaying my doll in my arms catches the attention of another dolly person, all the better!

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions?
I'm not going to go running around chasing people with my dolls. That will just make them more uncomfortable. If someone is genuinely interested, and I'm not in a hurry, I'm happy to chat a little and show off my handiwork. Since I act like it's so normal and I'm casual about it, no one's felt the need to pester me about it yet. Granted, I take my dolls to places like Joann's and Michael's (fabric and craft stores) where there are people who make things like that all the time. Sewers, quilters, knitters, etc.

 

I've never been to a meet up but I'm very closet about my hobby. I have this horrific anxiety about what people are thinking of me and what (they think) I do with these dolls. A lot of people don't take these kinds of hobbies well where I'm located, which is a shame really.
Honestly, I'd love to do more with my little clan but my own family doesn't even know I have them...

 

I can't speak from experience quite yet, but I will probably bring my boy with me sometimes. While I would definately feel awkward at first (I always do when acting on my... more peculiar hobbies) I'll be fine the moment someone talks to me about it. I love talking about the things I love, so whether some says "That doll is awesome! Tell me about it!" or "Is that a doll? How freaky! " I'd give the same delighted spiel. (This is a BJD and it's awesome because...)

Of course, I would never actually approach a stranger to talk about for fear of coming off as creepy and reenforcing people's beliefs that doll owners of the age of 5 are insane.

 

Would you take your doll out with your for the day to do pedestrian things (mall, food shopping, restaurant, etc) without the purpose of meeting up with others from the doll community?
Yeah! I've done that a few times before actually. Usually I take Tsukito my Dear Mine Oskar, who is MSD sized and just comfy to carry in the crook of my arm or in my backpack wrapped in a scarf (aka. the Tsukito-burrito) if the weather's a little crappy.

Would you dress differently, or use a different method of carrying your doll than you would for meetups or conventions?
Hmm I think it depends on the weather and who I'm taking with me. I carry anything MSD sized or smaller in a bag because I can easily take three at a time. This works well for days when the weather's less than desirable. I carry my SD boys in arm. One at a time, so they get to fight over who comes. XD

Would you try to minimize the fact that you had the doll with you, and only take it out for pictures or to try things on it, or would you carry or display it in a prominent way, regardless of whether or not you were 'playing' with it actively?
I don't really try to advertise that I have a doll (or two) with me, but I don't try to hide them either. If people want to ask questions than they can ask questions.

If you would try to hide it, why bring it out in the first place? How much attention is too much?
Too much attention is if they try to touch the doll. I only let trusted friends and other 'doll people' touch them because they know how valuable they are and how to handle them correctly.

If you wouldn't try to hide it, would you actively show it to others or wait for them to approach? How do you deal with negative reactions?
I usually let people approach at their own accord. I've had an elderly women call me 'juvenile', while her husband was clearly enthralled by how the joints and the stringing works. I've had people move seats on the train to get away from me, but I've also had two young girls run up to me saying "wow, pretty!" Oh yeah...I've also had "bloody hell I thought that was a child!" in regard to one of my SD boys. I'd never go up to someone and try and shove it in their face though, that'd be weird.