The Death of the First Doll Hype

I think I knew about the hobby for about eight months before I seriously considered buying a BJD. I was already a doll collector, though. I did research for three months on DoA before I chose my first BJD. (He was a Volks SD13 Link.) But... I did consider buying a Dream of Doll (one of the MSD sized ones) as my first BJD. I was worried that a 60cm range BJD would be too large for me, and also far too expensive, and kept going back to look at the 43cm ones, since they were more similar to the size of the dolls I was already collecting. As it turned out, though, when my Link arrived home, he was the perfect size for me after all, and he was also the perfect choice for my first BJD. I was SO glad I chose him instead, because the DoD would have been all wrong.

This is just my own experience, and 60cm+ is the right size BJD for me. But it seems to me that the Delf size was what really "spoke" to you before you made your purchase. Did you have the opportunity to see or handle BJDs in person before you bought one? If you're not "playing" with your Kid Delf at all, that could be a bad sign. I couldn't keep my hands off Hiro once he arrived. I wanted to take him everywhere, and I want him to be with me always. (I still do!) I think of him as my "true" doll love, and I choose the rest of my BJDs to look right with him. They are also all connected with him in some way, directly or indirectly.

Some other threads that might interest you to read are the ones about "settling" for a smaller or cheaper BJD, when you really want a larger or more expensive one. It can be difficult or impossible to settle for something different from what you truly want.

I did eventually get a DoD Too, and I do love him and he fits in my resin family very well, but I couldn't have based my family on him, no way. So it could be very possible for your Kid Delf to stay in your family and for you to be happy with her... but it may be that your first "true" doll love hasn't arrived yet.

By the way, you are definitely not alone in this. Many people aren't completely satisfied by their first BJD purchase, no matter how highly anticipated it was. But the feeling won't disappear on its own. Good luck deciding what to do!

Linda S.
galatia9

 

Like Galatia said, you are definitely not alone in not necessarily being satisfied with your first purchase. Were you able to handle a BJD before you made your choice and bought one? Sometimes that really helps hobbyists figure out what size works best for them.

In my own experience, my first doll was a Doll-Love Alina and I still have her, almost a year later. I adore her. I first saw her picture on Ebay and after considering her and a few others for weeks, only she was left standing. I'd known about this hobby for about five or six years before I actually had the ability to buy a BJD. I did not have the opportunity to "try before I buy", so to speak, by handling another BJD, but I lucked out - she's perfect for me. She smiles, she's a lovely light size at 44cm and she poses wonderfully. I think I got lucky.

What I like to do to figure out if I'll ever change my mind on a doll (and I've sold 3 so far) is to put the doll away for a few days. If you don't notice it's gone, or you don't miss it, then it's not for you. And that's okay! They don't always work out. Sometimes you don't know until the doll comes home! That's what the marketplace is for - you can always send your doll to someone who will give them the love they deserve and you can bring home the right one for you.

 

Extensive research and waiting a given length of time before purchasing your first is in no way required for this hobby. Some do, some don't. It is a personal choice and decision. Both camps can still get the First Doll Regrets. I didn't spend ages poring through sites. I got my girl at an anime con and my "research" was a quick verification of what the dealer said before I bought her. No regrets at all because she was really what I wanted in a first doll. I have had second thoughts about some of my others, but playing and styling them generally helps. If nothing you do works, you can always try to sell or trade it here on the MP.

 

Before I bought my first doll I researched obsessively, and I was in love with two different sculpts: Zaoll Luv and Narae. Narae was the 'first love' but I felt insecure about how 'unrealistic' she was with her big eyes and stylized features (I know XD), and Zaoll was much closer to the aesthetics I was used to at the time (art). So after nearly a year I decided to buy Zaoll. But although I found her truly gorgeous I never clicked with her.
It's so weird because I still feel she is one of the most beautiful sculpts that exist, but there is something in her posing (I think) that makes it not-work for me. I do think sometimes that if she wasn't my first doll, if I had more experience, I could have made it work eventually. I think I would have need to modify her a bit, change her hands, maybe wire her to make her pose better, more fluent... but at that time I didn't know well enough what was important to me to be able to analyse what made her not-work for me.
Anyway, I sold her eventually and that was a good thing (something I should have done sooner too, as I waited almost three years with it). I also ended up with not one Narae but several.

I cannot say for you what will work and what not. You can try for a while, different face-up, diferent wigs, sometimes even clothes are crucial for a doll to 'fall' into character, to make it click. But if it truly doesn't work don't fret forever but try to go for the doll you first wanted. You can try second-hand, place WTT's or WTB's. Or go to meets and see if there's a doll there that really clicks with you and that you think you would like to own yourself.

It's a hard situation, And I hope you'll find what works for you. Good luck!

 

When I bought my first doll, I got a full outfit with him (two, actually), so I didn't have the feeling of, 'what do I do with this thing?' I was a little bit o___o about him at first, because I've been a long-time fashion doll collector and was totally not prepared for all the visible 'joints' of a ball joint doll. And he had no hair, so that was also a bit whoa... lol But I've only grown to enjoy him and the hobby itself more over time. Having a second doll really helps, I think, because then it's like they have a 'friend' and it's fun to pose them together. I suggest that if you're feeling a little unsure about the doll you have, when you're able to do so.

 

Heh, I long since sold my first doll. When I bought him, I intended to re-do his face-up to match his character, and make him character-appropriate clothes... He spent half a year languishing in one of my drawers because I didn't take him with me to university. When I got home, I took some photos of him and put him up for sale; a month or so later he was purchased by a very nice woman and went to a home that appreciated him a lot more than I did.

See, I actually knew about BJD's for a few years before I purchased them. Lati was the first company I saw, but the price-tag was just too much for a 14-year-old with a weekly allowance of less than 10 dollars. It was weird though, because when I had the means to get a doll, I was for whatever reason completely STUCK on buying a doll from Lati. I knew I didn't want an SD at that point (I printed out life-size photos of their dolls, haha), so I settled on a Lati Blue boy. It was kind of like I was... blind-sided. Oh, I spent many, many hours reading about how to take care of these dolls, how to treat them, how to re-string and re-paint; by the end I knew what I was getting into but I completely refused to look at any other doll company other than Lati. Just had no interest.

Of course, years later and having owned dolls from 8 different companies it seems a bit weird, but I was just kind of "stuck". And I've seen similar kind of "stuck" behaviour in other people who join the hobby - it's almost ALWAYS some kind of a stipulation on getting a doll from the company that they were introduced to first. So I would be willing to wager that there are many, many people (myself included) who ended up getting first dolls that weren't quite what we wanted. And honestly, there's no shame in admitting that you just don't really have what you want, even if it's your first doll, and moving on to get what you think you want more. As I see it, you get what you want, someone else gets what they want, and the doll (if you choose to see it this way) goes to a home that actually appreciates and spoils it. ^^

 

I had that with my first doll, a little bit, yeah. (: Lenka came with her factory faceup (I didn't have all the supplies to redo it at the time, or the courage), and the only outfit she had was this sweet lacey yellow dress (it was too cute to not snag off of etsy--but it was not her style at all.) She definitely looked more cutesy than her character warranted (she's more feisty and sly than that xD), so I was in a bit of a slump, BUT, then I got my secondhand doll blank and was forced to do my first faceup. From there, I got around to redoing Lenka's face, and I found clothes with more of an urban feel that suited her better. Now that she fits in her own resin, I love her to bits!

I know this sort of turnaround doesn't happen all the time, but--sometimes you can just change a thing or two around, and everything clicks.

 

Nope, as my first doll was a custom and I still love him best five years later. but I do get the whole not bonding thing. It has happened several times. In some cases, I have sold the doll in the end. For one of them, it was a mod to dreamy eyes from open eyes and a character wipe. For one, all she needed was to get out of her default dress and into something better for her. It all depends. Maybe you will stumble on the magic solution, and maybe you won't and will end up selling it. You can't hug every cat and you can't love every doll ever.

 

When I got my first doll, I felt something like mothers tell me they feel after giving birth. Kind of like "OMG you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen". I do still feel that way; in fact I feel that way about all my dolls

I was also very grateful that I was in a position where I could buy a big beautiful expensive useless thing. How many people, especially my age, get to do that? That was my second overwhelming emotion, and I still feel that today

 

I jumped in even faster than you did, but researched like crazy and hit it off with my first doll straight away, despite her lack of proper clothing or a character. I did tweak with her look quite a bit at first. She went from being a green eyed brunette that wore modern clothing to a purple eyed red head in fantasy clothing and armor.

If you are not "feeling the bond", perhaps try out a different look for your doll. A small chance can make things click and just feel right.

And if in the end things do not work out, there is no harm in selling her and trying to find a better doll for you. You may still be able to get the Delf you wanted if you look in the Marketplace.

Challenge excepted!

 

My first doll is actually the only doll I haven't done this with. In the end I came around with all of them, but shortly after each new acquisition there was a period of 'what have I done?!' before we settled into each other. Things are never exactly what they seem like in the pictures and that first glimpse as you open the box is always a little more thrilling than seeing it every day no matter how lovely, so I think a little loss of the excitement is normal.

 

I've had the reverse of this happen to me!! ^^;
I did a bunch of research on Dollfie Dream before I got my first girl.

When I saw her head advertised I wasn't sure about the eyes and wig they put on her. In fact they almost looked a little strange. ^^; But I figured I might as well try and get her since she was the only head I could find.

When she arrived she was much more beautiful than in the pictures!! I still have her and she's my favorite doll! I don't think I could ever sell her.

If you're unhappy with your first doll, maybe try a different faceup, different wig, different clothes? Or maybe look to sell or trade even. ^^ Good luck~

 

Sounds a lot like buyer's remorse really, and it happens to a lot of people and not just about dolls. Especially after you've been saving up for what seems like forever. I get this a lot, I usually end up wondering what else the money could have been spent on and then I start to feel bad about having purchased whatever the thing was that was bought. This feeling typically fades pretty quickly though.

However I did have a doll that I didn't LOVE immediately too, so this feeling is also understandable. Sometimes it's hard to judge what a doll is going to really look like, especially if all you have to go on is the prettyfied company photos. This doll sat for nearly a year until I decided to do her faceup. (I was still relatively new to the hobby and was scared to do it, and she came blank.) After I did it though, I fell in love with her. I loved her even more after I redid her faceup a second time.

So I do suggest doing some customization, it may make that... "spark" you might be looking for. Doesn't have to be anything fancy. Change of hair or eyes maybe? Change outfit styles? Maybe look into doing their faceup/ body blushing yourself if you think you can do it. If after that they still don't appeal to you, selling or trading is always an option too.

 

My first doll was a doll I could afford and was a size I thought I'd like. She sort of got the shaft though, because there was a doll I wanted even more, one I thought about more and saved and saved for. As such, I sort of "get over" her and she moved on after I managed to afford the doll I had wanted in the first place.

 

I never really gave consideration to saving up my money and buying a BJD until around 3 years ago. I gave up, but tried again the next year, and bought my first. I didn't really look around too much, but I liked the doll I saw, and bought it.

I agree with the fact that there is no recommended or mandatory wait time between getting into what these dolls are all about and buying one. If your first doll ends up being a Soom LE that you saw yesterday and bought, so be it. Some people feel confident about their first doll purchase right away, and others need some time - there's no right or wrong.

I get into hobbies pretty quickly. Last summer, I made the sudden decision that I'd like to take up knitting, but no one I knew could knit. So, that same night, I watched a bunch of knitting how-to videos, and couldn't wait until I could get to a store to get a basic pair of knitting needles and some thread. Two or three days later - coming back from a class final, and there were two others that I needed to study for (one being the next day) - I went to a place that I knew had basic supplies for knitting/sewing/crochet and bought some knitting supplies. I started that afternoon. I bought a lot of yarn after that. The only thing that made me lose interest was that knitting felt kind of tedious for me. It took a long time to get anywhere, in comparison to sewing. I fell out of love with it in a few months.

I'm taking on embroidery, now. I decided to sew a dress and embroider a face onto it before I knew how to embroider. But - like with the knitting - I got to a store for the proper supplies, and just got to it. It doesn't look absolutely perfect, but it's much easier than it was to knit. It takes a long time, but it's interesting to see how things look.

When I ordered my doll, I saved a lot of the research for the time between then and her arrival. I did have a basic knowledge of face ups, that my doll wouldn't come with everything pictured... that is probably good to know before you do anything. But when all was said and done, I found a good deal of things didn't have to be done/bought/found out until later - sometimes much later, or even not at all.

There's also no structured rules as to how to enjoy your doll. You don't need to sew for them, change their eyes/wigs/face up. You don't need to get them anything. While I do sew for one of my dolls, the time they're actually around me is mainly spent sitting on my couch while I tend to other things. But I like keeping them around. That might help you out, too. Sometimes, just having them around is enough.

 

Did/Does anyone else have this feeling? Or, am I pretty much alone in this? If you did have this feeling, what did you do to help it disappear?

I didn't have this with my first doll. I've had him for over 4 years, and though he's been upgraded, he's still my favorite character and I love him to death!

However, I HAVE had it happen with others. sometimes, it just really isn't the right doll and I ended up selling or trading them for something more to my tastes. Other times, I just had to figure out what was wrong. Like my RS Lu....she's MUCH tinier than I expected and at first, I didn't like that. I hated her ears, they were so big and her head was so tiny. Her eyes weren't the right color and didn't fit right. The faceup was horrible, but I was scared o wipe a factory faceup, unsure if I could do better. I kept her for a year of "so-so bonding", then finally decided to make things right. I sent her off and had her ears modded into human ears. I bought her a new wig and eyes. I wiped her faceup and gave her a new one. I made her some cute clothes. and it made a WORLD of difference! I was ready to sell her before, but I'm glad I didn't because I LOVE her now! Maybe try a new wig or eyes or faceup? Maybe even a new character? It might be all she needs to feel like YOUR doll.

 

It probably doesn't help that there's this big culture built up in the hobby over bonding with your dolls. It's built up to become part of the anticipation of waiting for the doll - not only is it your first doll but you're supposed to fall in love with her and then this semi-mythical bonding process is supposed to occur. And no-one can tell you what it looks like or how it's supposed to feel, but ther's the unspoken expectation that everyone will feel it and there's somehow something wrong or missing if you don't.

So you save up for months, then you order the doll and you're on the edge of your seat with anticipation; and there's this subconscious extra level all caught up in this "bonding" thing and you have no idea what it's supposed to be like but you figure you'll know when you feel it.

And then it arrives, and there's no magical choirs of angels singing or shooting rainbows or unicorn farts; it's just you and a pretty doll, and that subconscious bit that was expecting something to happen feels a bit deflated. However this bonding thing is supposed to work, you're not feeling it.

And that's perfectly OK. Maybe it's just you and a pretty doll and that's all there is to it. And there is nothing wrong with that.

It's very early days and you've yet to work out just what this hobby is to you and what your likes and preferences are. Give it time, go to a few meets and handle a few other dolls. Maybe this size isn't quite right for you after all. Or maybe others' experiences are colouring your on perceptions of how you take part in and enjoy the hobby. Give it time and ease yourself in gently. The doll's not going anywhere while you figure it out.