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Trans*folk and the BJD hobby

Jun 21, 2012

    1. My apologies if this subject matter has already been posted; feel free to move or delete this thread if it’s repeating another.

      I will come out and admit to the fact I am an female-to-male transgender; I have been living as a male named Matthew for the last three years, and though I prefer to just be seen as a ‘man’ rather than ‘transman’, I’m still in the transitioning portion of my life and all the “joys” that come with it. However, between reading forums and actually talking to other trans*folk on DoA, it seems our identity comes into question in relationship to the hobby—namely if you are either gender queer / gender neutral or, like myself, a female-to-male transgender.

      So, here are a few questions I have for you, whether you’re transgender or not:


      1. Would you take a transgendered person’s identity less seriously based on their part in the BJD hobby? (Ex: A transman not REALLY ever being able to be a man if he likes dolls)
      2. Would you judge a FTM trans-person more, less, or an equal amount to a biologically male collector?
      3. Do you see a trans-person’s doll collecting as a sign of their confusion in general (namely those who are identifying more masculine than feminine)?

      Discuss away~ I welcome any and all input!
       
      #1 mgfiswin, Jun 21, 2012
      • x 1
    2. I'm not trans-gender, but I do know a few people who are. :) It's good to live your truth, whatever that may be!

      First of all, there are quite a few guys on this forum. When you've had a chance to read some more of the discussion threads, you'll find quite a lot of talk about the social image of dolls being "just for girls." (We don't think so.) Also about non-doll people thinking dolls are just for kids, and if you're an adult lugging around a doll there must be some kind of mental/emotional/mothering/identity thing wrong with you. (We don't think so.)

      The thing about this hobby is that it brings together people from all walks of life. Male, female, she-male, straight, gay, young, old, normal, weird, all are welcome! I've been collecting for a few years now, and I've met quite a variety of people here. Personally, I'm female, but I've never been accused of being a girly-girl, and yet I have a doll collection. Do my dolls make me a simpering damsel with delusions of motherhood and the inability to mature within my own world? Of course not! It just means I like dolls.

      Another great thing about dolls is that they let you explore things about yourself that you might not have known, or experiment with looks or ideals that you would normally subscribe to. I'm not into punk in the least bit... But I have a doll who it. I wouldn't be caught dead in a lolita dress... but I have a doll who wears them all the time. I take great pride in having never ever colored or permed my hair, but I have wigs is pinks, blues, and all sorts of curls and colors. I also have a lot of boy/men dolls. Does that make me a pervert? Well... maybe, but not because of that. ;) In a lot of ways, our dolls are a reflection of who we are. In a lot of ways, they're a reflection of who we aren't. And in some ways, they're our alternate universe.

      But less manly for having dolls.....? Ask any of the women here on the forum with hubbies who have collections of their own! :)
       
      #2 Cymorill, Jun 21, 2012
    3. First, kudos to Matt, I know this can be a difficult and touchy subject, sometimes further compounded by the anon nature of the internet. I was actually surprised by the asessment you made here, but then I've been mostly a lurker in the news rather than extremely active in the Dolly community, so I haven't had the chance to see the same things you have.

      Now on to your questions~!


      1. Absoloutely not. Guy or Gal it doesn't make a difference to me. If you collect stamps, dolls, or even quarters from 1942 it has nothing to do with your gender and -shouldn't- be thought of as doing so. If you introduce yourself to me - me taking your identity seriously won't change, your -personality- I may or may not take seriously. But who you are? That's just who you are and if I want to continue talking to you, I need to embrace and accept that.

      2. Pretty much the same as the above, a FTM - to me, is just the same as someone who was born biologically male. If they want to play with dolls, more power to them!

      3. I ... really don't feel comfortable with the term 'confusion' here... The stigma of doll-collecting being a 'girl' thing is just as easily lumped in with car collecting being a 'guy' thing, and believe you me I know some gals who get just as revved up as the guys over classic autos. I imagine I've been repeating myself a little bit here, but all the answers end up at the same sum. XD
       
      #3 Xhai-Pan Gale, Jun 21, 2012
    4. Thank you Cymorill and Xhai-Pan Gale for your inputs :D It really helps me not only understand that there are people out there who respect transgender collectors just as much as non-transgender collectors, but despite the grief I am given for collecting dolls, at the end of the day there are wonderful, understanding people like you on this website.
       
      #4 mgfiswin, Jun 21, 2012
    5. I don't think of doll collecting as a female-only hobby, so it makes me a little sad that you feel like you have to ask these questions. I know the world's not perfect, and people are always looking for a reason to judge trans people, but there are a lot of obnoxiously straight, cis-gendered guys out there who collect frilly girl dolls for a variety of reasons. If they can do it, there's no reason a FTM guy can't.
       
      #5 Amet, Jun 21, 2012
      1. Would you take a transgendered person’s identity less seriously based on their part in the BJD hobby? (Ex: A transman not REALLY ever being able to be a man if he likes dolls) And how exactly could a FTM transgender never be able to be a man if they collect dolls? Considering that I have seen some tough-looking manly-men that collect these dolls... Someone who thinks this needs a shovel to the face.
      2. Would you judge a FTM trans-person more, less, or an equal amount to a biologically male collector? I will not judge anyone in this hobby based on gender, sexuality, skin color, background, none of that. It is not my place, nor is it anyone else's.
      3. Do you see a trans-person’s doll collecting as a sign of their confusion in general (namely those who are identifying more masculine than feminine)Absolutely not. There is no reason why doll collecting could ever be indicative of gender confusion, and a trans-gender collecting dolls is just that: a doll collector that just happens to be trans-gendered.
       
      #6 Ethra_VII, Jun 21, 2012
    7. I think we're all given grief about our dolls from outsiders now and then. As a female I get people asking me if I had dolls because I wish I had a baby. Albeit I'm carrying around one of my 70cm boys in a nice Victorian suit and they'll ask me that! Try not to let it bother you. There will always be people muttering "creepy" behind your back, but there will also be people coming up to you and wanting to know all about your dolls, where they come from, did you make that yourself, and so on.

      As a side note, I've seen a few gallery pics of straight women who have made some amazing 1940's-style pin-up girls! It's not a sexuality thing, it's an art thing. :) And welcome to the forum, BTW!
       
      #7 Cymorill, Jun 21, 2012
    8. I would like to confirm that there are even more of us here on DoA who don't give two hoots about your gender in relation to the BJD hobby (or any other hobby for that matter).

      Whatever gender your were "born", that is how I would view you and I strongly believe that is how everyone should; regardless of what you had to do to get to a point where you could live that gender. So from my perspective you are a male collecting BJDs.

      I don't consider men less manly for collecting BJDs, and you get the same evaluation.

      Congratulations as living as your true self for as long as you have and hope you keep enjoying your BJD collecting for as long as it makes you happy!
       
      #8 Quanita, Jun 21, 2012
    9. This thread, and the other group-specific discussion threads, are being closed. Please see this Announcement for more information.
       
      #9 Kiyakotari, Sep 10, 2012