Using dolls to express yourself in social situations?

When I'm out in public, I'm usually incredibly shy/awkward if I have to talk to someone I don't know-- sometimes even if I see someone that I do know, even someone I know I get along with!

At doll meets, I sometimes spend the beginning pretty quiet, but when I have one of my dolls out with me, or even if I'm just looking at someone else's doll, I definitely feel a little more comfortable and social, just with having a common hobby to break the ice!

=^__^=
Anneko

 

For me, it's not so much having a doll with me or not having a doll, but rather having something in common with the people I'm around. When you know the group of people has a shared interest with you, then there's immediately something to talk about. It makes it easy to break the ice, get to know each other -- it's really a much easier sort of situation for me than suddenly finding myself in a group of really random strangers. And of course if you keep going to meetups in the same area, it gives you the chance to really get to know people in more than just a passing way. I tend to not take dolls out into public randomly -- if I have one with me it's because I am going somewhere to do something specifically doll related, so they don't really function as any kind of an aid for me in a broader sense.

 

I have never used a doll to "break the ice" in social situations but have used my dog, which is a similar sort of thing, I guess. Although I worked for 38 years as a social worker, I was and still am a shy person. It is really hard for me to initiate conversations with people I don't know. I met some other doll people recently and am having a good time making new friends who share this hobby, and I have been looking for meet ups in my town so the dolls are giving me a social outlet. Most of my other hobbies - crafts, art, photography, and genealogy -aren't real social hobbies so getting into the BJDs has been helpful in expanding my social network.

 

I agree with Taco, when you have something in common there are so many things to say to start a conversation, also, when it's a hobby that most of the people find "weird" and can't understand it, talking with someone who knows how you feel and probably feels the same as you is really easy, I think dolls affect that way in your personality.

 

I don't take my dolls in public, but I can understand how you use them in social situations. I'm not shy, but I am extremely introverted when I am not around close friends. When I was younger and forced into a lot of social situations I would always bring a novel or sketchbook. They would keep me entertained and if anyone was annoying enough to try to socialize with me, they would at least get the hint and talk to me about an interesting topic (art and literature).
I guess dolls just work as your social security blanket.

 

I know no one who likes BJDs and I never take them out. But I am very shy...unfortunately...I get anxious when I'm surrounded by many people, and I start playing with my hands and fingers, it's something I can't control. However, my shyness goes away when I find something in common with the other person. Otherwise, I would feel scare and out of place...I hate being like this.

 

Having a doll with me in public usually makes things worse. Some people can take the stares and questions with ease, but I don't think I could (I actually had a non-doll experiance that seemed to cement that). The only time I'll ever consider having my dolls out in public is if I'm going to a meet (where there are a lot of people with a lot of dolls, so I'm not the odd one out) or if I'm going to use my doll for something, like a photograph, or show someone. Otherwise, they stay home, or at least indoors where no one but a limited few can see them.

If it makes someone feel better to have their doll with them, then by all means, go with it. There are tons of ways to cope with anxiety, and while there are some very maladaptive ways, I don't think this is one of them. It beats biting your nails, that's for sure.

 

I'm really new to this hobby and I don't think I'm at the level of comfort where I can even conceptualize taking a bjd anywhere. Quite the opposite-sometimes my wife will bring up the subject in public (sometimes to tease me, sometimes just because something occurred to her) and I'll immediately shush her and get nervous about people overhearing. Which is weird because I'm not that shy. I guess I like keeping my hobbies private. Though I know that with other hobbies I really enjoy meeting other people with he same interest and talking about it. I'm curious to try a meetup sometime, but the thought of being in a public place surrounded by dolls and non-comprehending bystanders around makes me uncomfortable. I guess I don't like feeling judged?

So I guess to answer the original prompt, no, I don't use them to express myself in public situations. But maybe in private?

 

I get what you mean. I'll talk about all the books I've read - good and bad, all the collections I used to have as a kid, and even the fact that I used to be heavily into anime and read manga... but the dolls? Not so much.

I'm one of those people who put thoughts into other people's heads - and by that I mean that I second guess how people are going to react, so I don't say anything. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that I worry that people are going to find it really strange that someone my age is collecting dolls - and in this day and age, where we're much more into things that give us immediate gratification.

But I've been pleasantly surprised when I bring up the topic. I was doing a presentation this past weekend, and I decided to mention my dolls because they were relevant to my presentation (granted, I didn't bring them, but I had pictures in my PowerPoint). I think most people loved them based on the sounds of astonishment I heard. They were amazed at how realistic they looked, how tall my BBB Apollo was, and they expressed genuine interest.

I also brought the topic of my dolls and the hobby up with someone else, and she noticed how I seemed to 'change' when I was talking about them, and it was because it was something I enjoyed and did want to share with others.

So, like I said, I get how you feel. Having someone arbitrarily bring up your dolls around random people might seem annoying (it would for me), but sometimes people will surprise you. You can't put thoughts into other people's heads.