What Makes a Good BJD Meet?

All of my experiences so far have been positive. Personally, my suggestions are as follows:
Welcome dolls other than the ones considered On-Topic here on DOA. There are collectors who have dolls that are ball-jointed but for whatever reason are not included here. I find that when the focus is limited, there can be some "snobbery" that occurs.
Make sure that there is food! Either pot-luck or meet somewhere that food can be acquired. You could also serve a meal, but generally I find that everyone hyper-focuses on the dolls and hours can go by and everyone 'forgets' to eat...
Themes are fun, but not required. On the one hand, lots of people love to have a theme to play to, but I've had people say they couldn't come to a meet because they didn't have anything to match the theme. Then again, some of the people say that a particularly fun theme got them out of the house, so it's give and take.
Be sure that everyone participates. This is tricky, but I try to keep an eye out for people who perhaps haven't received their dolls yet, who are looking at the other dolls wistfully. Personally, I love any opportunity to let other people play with my dolls, so I'll often seek out shy people and ask them if they'd like to hold/dress/handle my doll or dolls. Often this draws the wallflowers out.
Plan an activity. Even if it is just a "photo opportunity", it's a good idea to have an activity for everyone to participate in. I've been to meets where the face-up stuff was out so that people could work on blushing or face-ups. I've been to meets where we got out the sculpy to make doll-sized foods. I've been to meets where the idea was to swap outfits or wigs. Having an activity, no matter how simple, tends to keep everyone involved and having fun.

Of course, the things that really make a meet work well are related to the group you gather. It's possible to ignore all of my suggestions and have a fantastic meet. It just depends upon the group.

 

I like the idea of having an activity to do especially if everyone at the meet isn't already super close friends. Not everyone can just chatter comfortably with a stranger, however polite they may be. If you're both working on something it makes talking a bit easier. It may also help those with different attention spans stay involved and "here" as opposed to mentally wandering. ^^; -guilty- My favorite meet was actually a face-up workshop at A-kon for those reasons.

 

Just going to add onto the whole "activity" thing --
I know that for the local meets around here, we usually don't have an activity. Our meets usually start off with food because, hey, food brings people together, right? Then an idea to get everyone out of their shell and to warm up the mood, I think it's a good idea to have everyone introduce themselves with their username and preferred name. Then we can pop a "general discussion" question to get people talking. These conversation times are used to get to know people, swap crafting ideas, catch up, stuff like that... and then the pictures come after the food has been finished. So far, that is the schedule the local meets do.

Sometimes, too much planning can be restrictive and too little makes for disorganisation. It's a balance.

I believe my favourite meet was also the smallest meet; whether there was causation is unsure... it was to a park with abandoned military structures. It was about 1/3 exploration, 1/3 photography, and 1/3 wishing I hadn't worn shorts so as to not be wading through prickling bushes. My least favourite meet was to an aquarium. The picture opportunities were fine but our group was so large and the place was moderately busy and so the group ended up splintering. That separation diminished the whole 'unity' and 'community' feel that I'm trying to establish so I don't think it was optimal.

 

I really like the idea of having some kind of activity. I attended my first meet ever yesterday, and while I certainly wouldn't say it was a bad experience, it turned out to be rather awkward for me. I'm not at all good at approaching people, and it was made worse by the fact that when Haiiro and I arrived at the location, it seemed everyone had separated into their own little groups of people they knew. In spite of the fact we lingered around the doll table looking lost and uncomfortable, no one approached us to introduce themselves or anything.

We ended up arbitrarily sitting down after some more awkward lingering. Some people sat across from us, and there was a lot of strange eye contact avoidance. I finally said hello and introduce myself and Haiiro, but it wasn't until much later on when I was taking photos at the table and one of the girls who'd sat across from us asked if she could check out my doll's knee joint (she's making her own doll) that I finally got to talking a little.

Needless to say... we didn't end up staying as long as we could have....

I'm sure once I'm not so new, meets won't be so difficult. I had just assumed people would be more accomodating to the obvious newcomers. It really threw me for a loop, because I'd expected to feel more at home in a group of people I knew had something in common with me....

So... I think a good meet might consist of some way to break the ice once a good group of people have arrived. An activity would have been fantastic. Some sort of planned discussion to get things going, or anything at all to get people talking would have been helpful, too. Anything at all that can make everyone in attendance, whether new or old, feel welcome seems like an absolute must.

 

^This. All of this.

I want to meet new people. I want to be able to interact with people in the hobby in person, even though it is a lot easier for me to do so online. I'm awkward, I don't really socialize, ever, and I went into this meetup completely nervous. But, like, CS, I was hoping that having at least the hobby in common, it might be easier to get into a conversation or two with the people there. Instead, it felt really...cliquish. I had some high school flashbacks.

Ice breakers, as mentioned above, are a good idea. Some kind of schedule, or set...thing...to include even the newcomers would be nice as well. Anything to help kill the awkwardness for people who have never been there before. Especially if you know ahead of time that you have newbies attending. The meet I went to today was almost enough to turn me off from ever trying to hang out with these people again (especially after I said hi to someone and got a curt "hi." in return and then...ignored.) because I didn't feel welcome at all. And, I think it's important to include that in a meetup, as it would be for any kind of club or organized activity. Don't alienate your fellow doll-people! XD

 

CS, Haiiro...

Whoa. Just... whoa. I feel terrible that such a thing happened to you two, and at your first meet, no less.

Perhaps put some suggestions out to the person who runs your local meets? Or have your own meets instead with a friendly atmosphere being your top priority? Don't let your first experience turn you off from the doll community. Perhaps if you show up a second and third time, others there will start thinking, "hey, weren't those people at the last meet? They must be new; I haven't seen them around very long. I wondered whose doll that was!" and start chatting with you. ...or perhaps you need to take a step and put that foot out, approach someone's doll and say a friendly, "hey, is that the new sculpt that *company* put out? I was looking for owner pictures and I can't believe I can see one in person. Can I try posing him/er?"

 

Yeah, I definitely don't want to give up on meets altogether. I loved seeing everyone's different dolls, although I was way too scared to ask anyone if I could hold or touch their doll (though I didn't have a problem letting someone else fiddle with my own). There were a few there that looked like they might be pukis, which I'm really interested in buying... but I didn't feel comfortable asking about them. Maybe next time I'll be a little braver. XD

I'm sure it will get better the more we go... if not, maybe I'll suggest some activities to the lady who plans the majority of the meets... I'm not sure I trust my ability to organize a meet. But maybe one day!

 

@aikohaku: We are certainly going to try again. There's another meetup scheduled for next Saturday, and it looks like a much smaller group of people are going. I think it might be easier to start that way as well. I'm a little leery of doing it again, but that's my normal skittishness. CS and I really do want to get to know some of the local owners, so we'll try again. Like you said, the more we attend, the more people will get used to seeing us hanging around.

I'll definitely have to keep your suggestion about commenting on people's dolls. Hopefully it'll be easier to catch someone since it'll be a smaller group. All the dolls were kind of mixed together and everyone was settled down last time. n_n

 

I love all of FairyKukla's ideas and I've gotta say, I think they're all on point.

I host a doll club that meets monthly in the large conference room at a local library. Or focus is dolls in general so we see fashion dolls, off-topic (for here) BJDS, on topic BJDs, what have you. Our group also has young people (children of adult members) who bring the dolls/figures they collect and they set up their own display tables just like the adults do. Being exposed to all the different dolls is what lead me to finally take the plunge and adopt my first off topic BJD recently. And, being the DIVA that she is, she quickly demanded a significant other...another off topic BJD from the same line...and recently she put in a demand for a Planet Doll Mini Riz to be her daughter. Little Ms. Riz is currently on layaway.

Every month has suggested themes that are based on birthstones/colors/flower(s) of the month, holidays, current events like upcoming movies/books, changing seasons...whatever. But there is never any pressure to bring something that's soley theme based.

I'm sure we'll eventually get around to the long list of craftsa lot of us would l like to do/learn, but we haven't yet.

We always bring, at the very least, snackey bits to share. And every now and then it's more of a late lunch kind of thing.

As for our founding members; we all knew at least one other person in the group from other on line groups and boards and had been chatting off and on, in some cases, for years. So everyone had at least one other person there that they already felt comfortable with. All of the members that came into the group after that were the same thing. Someone knew of someone who they thought would fit in and an invitation to join us went out. We've got collectors from all walks of life: men, women, teens, children, straight, gay, families, the list goes on and on. The main thing for us is to have fun and make sure that it stays that way.

 

I wholeheartedly agree with all of you above! It sure is awkward at first meets, especially if you're in a large group. However, once you have food+activities to serve as an icebreaker, I'd say that meet is pretty successful. XD
For me I think it's also the choice of the location. A good meet would be in somewhere us BJD lovers can avoid too much attention and be allowed to be relatively loud (because, I hope I'm not the only one who does this, but I find my self SQUEEing out of excitement whenever I see BJDs other than mine) for a fair amount of time. I've had a meetup where the members had to leave very early because we were in a cafe that didn't want customers staying for over an hour (even if we ordered food and drinks!).
The place also has to be spacy, for in order to interact with the meetup members one has to go around and has the chance to get to know the people more. Also for photographing purposes if the cafe has good lighting it'd be perfect, but I think people would rather go outside for pictures usually, if I'm not mistaken.

So that was my tip--a good location!

 

All of the reason you point out are why we use the large conference room of our library. Our last aethering had 20 people total and although everyone didn't set up a whole table for themselves; there's plenty of room to do so. We set them around the perimeter of the room and set up a section in the middle where everyone can sit and eat. There's still plenty of room for wandering around and visiting everyone else.

The room itself, while being "open to the public", is out of site of the other library patrons, so we're not on display ourselves. And yes...we get plenty rowdy and there's been a squeeing heard at each and everyone of our meetings.

We meet on Sundays which gives us the option to have a short meetings...usually 3 hours....or we can go up to 7 hours. Plenty of time for snacking, squeeing and picture taking before having to head home. :-)

 

Cupcakes.... definitely cupcakes!

 

Nametags.
Food- potluck is great,check the group for any severe allergies.
A host/ess who can introduce people to each other and gauge the feel of the group dynamics, with an icebreaker activity if it feels needed. His/her job is to help everyone have a good time.
People who are not rude. If they can't have manners, the host/ess is to ask them to behave nicely, and if they can't take a hint they can take a hike.

Also, a good location. A small group of three collectors might meet at a cafe that doesn't mind long-staying customers, but a big gang might do better to find a library conference room or something.

 

CS and Haiiro, if you're talking about the meet I think you are, it's the size and a whooole lotta sensory overload happening at it. The "smaller" meets are better about that. It really is a friendly group, but it IS a huge one and a fairly close knit one at that. Little meet, especially con ones, were great. I bet they do remember you.

 

I think Rosslyn covered a bunch of it...my sister wouldn't mean to be rude but she's not able to eat gluten and is on a huge restricted diet to recover from its damages to her system, so pretty much the odds of her being able to eat anything brought to the event are slim-to-none; she would bring her own however.

Also, I've been to meets here and there now, and I can say that it is definitely a host issue as well! The Minneapolis one we got to go to was just outstanding! In-house of all things, and most of the people knew one another well, but we never had the sense we were intruding newbies, amazingly well-hosted! Had less of a good experience on our first meet-up in the WA area, people there were very, er, exclusive even though we obviously had dolls, one girl was rude about the doll I'd brought (and I thought the first rule was if you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything!), and generally we left early. Uncanny Dreams was next, and that was absolutely fantastic by any comparison, just a load of people there to have a good dolly time!

It's just so much fun to get out there and see sculpts IRL that will help you make up your mind one way or another on future dolly purchasing, clothing, etc, I hope that any bad experience does get soothed over by subsequent good experiences. If I hadn't had a lovely time in Minn, I don't know that I would've tried WA at all.

.hlp

 

I like the idea of name tags, especially with both DoA id and preferred name because it would make it easier to remember names for everyone, don't get bored sitting through introductions if it was a large group.
Plus it could help with conversation starter if you happen to follow someones threads (eg. customizations) or recognize the name from discussion threads you go to.
I think a group activity or craft that everyone can join in would be more fun than trying to join (or sit through) a conversation about dolls/company you have no knowledge/interest in, or a non doll related conversation, especially for new comers or if it is a small group and there is only one conversation going on.

 

Yeah... we were pretty disappointed, but I'm glad we stayed. And I'm definitely glad I wasn't alone. I might not have even had the courage to stay five minutes if I walked into that cold room... >_>;;

I was hoping we'd get there a bit early, but it wasn't that close to us, so after the drive we were about 20 minutes late. I wish I had been there when more people were setting up their dolls.

I didn't feel like there were that many people there. But I'm not familiar with what the meets are usually like, so it's hard for me to say. I'm hoping since there won't be too many people at the meet this weekend, we can get to know a few people and then we'll have some familiar faces at the next big meet. ^^

I LOVE the idea of name tags. I'm so bad at remembering names, and having the DoA user name would be so awesome!

 

Name tags are good! Very good! I try really hard, but it's difficult meeting 10 new people and trying to remember their DoA name, their real name and doll's names and sculpts.

I agree with the "clique-ish" feel to some meets. I really don't think it's ever been intentional in at the meets I've gone to, but everyone is really close and I've only been to two because they are usually too far for me to travel for just a few hours or I have nobody to go with me. So I don't really know anybody and often topics stray from dolls to subjects I know nothing about and I do get really quiet. It makes it awkward sometimes. I think an activity would help a lot. It's also a little hard for my dolls to fit in, since it seems a lot of the others are fantasy dolls and my regular human guys get over looked quite a bit. Again, I don't think this is meant o be offensive in any way to me at all, I'm just kind of the oddball. :P

The most successful meet I've hosted/been to was the weekend slumber party I had at my house with doll friends that I role play with. Since all of our characters "know" each other online, it made photostories and playing so much more fun without making people feel left out. I think it also helped that we not only had the same interest in dolls but also in role play and a few other things.

But for big groups, I think name tags and activities are a must! Maybe even a "get to know the character" thing would be fun.