What to do if any of your friends/roommates/significant-others hate BJDs?

Break it off. If she's going to be a cruel jerk which it is if it's meant to answer a question and she says bad things about your dolls bascally humiliating you...Don't move in with her! Tell her if she's gonna be a jerk to pack her bags and find someone else to live with.

 

I have friends that don't share my interest in BJDs,but they never insult me or my dolls. Your friend isn't showing you any respect,and I wouldn't recommend moving in with her.

 

Honestly, she doesn't sound like much of friend.

Even if she doesn't like BJDs, as a friend, she should at least show you some decency and respect for the things you like and enjoy. I have friends who don't share my love for BJDs but they would never insult or demean me for liking them and vice versa, I would never insult them for the things they like that I don't happen to like as well. Friendship requires mutual respect.

I really wouldn't recommend moving in with her. Nothing good would come out of it...

 

I've never had anyone I could say hated bjds. I've been around one person who had a genuine phobia of dolls, and I had to hide my dolls when she was in the room, but that's somebody with a legitimate problem. It sounds like your friend is just being a jerk. I wouldn't move in with her if she's going to act that way. Especially if all she's capable of is "freaking out at you" rather than having a civil conversation.

 

Ditch her! I had a friend who was so obsessive compulsive in controlling what I did via bullying me and making me feel horrible about it that when we were kids she used to beat up other kids to keep them away from me. You do NOT deserve to be in that situation.

 

If she has a phobia that makes her hate dolls and it's that bad likely you'll come home one day to find all your dolls have exited stage left, and her claiming someone broke in and stole them or something. I would not move in with this girl. She sounds like a controlling headcase. Been there, done that, and trust me the chance to move out was so not worth it. Roommates aren't that hard to find. Real friends can be. This girl is not your friend if she treats you like that. She doesn't have to respect your dolls, or like them, but she does have to respect you and your love of them to really be your friend and clearly she doesn't. Not a good idea the whole idea of rooming with her. I'd seriously question if she's even safe to be friends with if she's like that, can freak out so easily. She doesn't sound like someone you want around you, seriously.

 

I would ask her why she feels that way and that you feel threatened by her response. TALK to her about what the problem is! Seriously, you need to sort this out before you move in together.

But back to the subject: My sister is NOT a fan of the dolls. My doll room also happens to be the guest room in my house so they all have to be packed up when she comes to visit. Floating heads are the worst for the heebie jeebies though. My husband isn't a fan of them either and I can't leave them laying around... (although one day I popped all the heads off my dolls and got out the floating heads, took out their eyes (I wanted to clean/replace putty that was getting old so there was a GOOD reason for that) and left them all lined up in front of his computer just to freak him out. Mean, but the look on his face was worth it

 

It sounds like she may have pediophobia, or fear of dolls. It's believed to be a type of automatonophobia, or fear of humanoid figures. It's an anxiety disorder that can be associated with a range of dolls from old-fashioned china dolls and porcelain dolls to dolls that talk and move. If she truly has that fear, you may want to keep them away from her, or just don't move in together, at least not now. Did you try to talk to her about why she does it? You don't have to mention BJDs at all. How about mentioning another type of doll? Barbie, porcelain, or cloth dolls would work. If she freaks out like she does when you talk about BJDs, then she most likely has pediophobia or automatonophobia.

 

Dude that's not a great friend if she flips out on you and humiliates you like that (and freaking out like that and insulting your dolls when talking to someone else on a chat room IS public humiliation) that makes her a grade A brat. Do NOT move in with her. Who's to say she won't try to damage your dolls?

Also I thought my ex-friend was a good friend and that she just had her rough spots and she acted like this girl acted including humiliating me in public and it got so bad she threatened to put one of my dolls (not a BJD) into the TOILET if I didn't give it to her she held it above the toilet and said: "I'm gonna WRECK IT IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT TO ME."

That sound like a good friend? If your friend behaves even slightly like her then do NOT move in with her. It's not worth the emotional abuse.

 

I have a book called "Universal Principles of Design" which mentions fear of humanoid figures. It says that if, for instance for marketing purposes, dolls or human-like figures are used, they should not be too realistic because it makes people feel uncomfortable. This is one reason why in clothes stores, the mannequins will often not have a face at all, or a face that is easy to tell apart from a real person.

I love that book, btw.

Anyway, I have another, hobby-psyochoanalyst take on your friend's hostility. Maybe she was given a hard time at some point for playing with dolls or whatever, people saying she's too old for it or something. Maybe she's envious. Short way between love & hate.

 

Tricky situation... I've never had someone hate my dolls, but my cousins don't like them very much, some people just don't like dolls. You've got to ask yourself which is more important to you, your friendship with this girl or your dolls? You said she's a good person except when dolls are involved, perhaps you should ask her why she acts that way and how it hurts your feelings to have her react like that. I really think talking is the best way to work it out. If you do move out together you'll probably have to have them hidden away, so they don't bother her. If your fine with that, and she's fine with your dolls around (even if they're stored) then thats okay then. Personally I couldn't live with someone who loathed my dolls, but then again I don't have many friends either

 

This is a difficult situation.

On the one hand, I agree with many of the people who have already expressed concern about the two of you moving in together. If she dislikes your dolls now, she will probably dislike them more if she is forced to share a house with them, and this will get you down because if your friend has no worries about being rude to you about them in a chat room, she probably won't be fazed by confronting you about them face-to-face. Living with that week-in-week-out would get anyone down, and it's supposed to be enjoyable to live with your friends, and the doll hobby is supposed to be fun. Both will quickly stop being fun in that situation.

On the other hand, some people genuinely do not like dolls. They are honestly frightened by them, and sometimes people hide their fear in anger. I have a friend who is very afraid of dolls and I didn't know this (I thought she liked them since her grandmother got her a whole bunch of porcelain dolls...but that's a whole other story, and my friend can't even look at those dolls either!) and because I didn't know she was afraid of dolls I introduced her to one of mine by putting him on the window ledge when she went out of the room so it would look like he just appeared when she walked in. BIG mistake! She screamed and was very upset. Had I known she feared dolls, I would never have done that.

Your friend may even be concerned about the high cost of dolls, if you discuss finances with her. While you see dolls as fun and a hobby, she might be hung up on how much they cost and be concerned that if you're buying dolls and buying things for them, you might not be able to afford to move in with her. Just a thought.

If you are still considering living with your friend, I think you both need to have a sit down chat (with no dolls present!!) about what bothers her so much about the dolls and whether she realises that if you two live together, the dolls will be moving in too. She may accuse you of putting your dolls above her friendship, but try to stay calm and try not to react to that. What you need to ascertain is whether she genuinely has a doll phobia, or whether she is simply just being rude to you. Doll phobias can be overcome or worked around (you could keep your dolls in your room only or your part of the flat/house, you can arrange so that she never has to see them,) but if your friend is just being cruel and being mean about your hobby, that's a more serious issue that probably can't be worked around.

I probably couldn't live with my own friend with a doll phobia, simply because at the moment I live half the time in my family home and half the time with my boyfriend and in both places I essentially live in one room. When I get a place of my own, I'd like to use the whole house and have my dolls on display, and I know that I couldn't do that if I lived with my friend. I could live with her as a person, she's great! In a long-term situation though, I don't think it would work out with my dolls, and that's not because I put my dolls above her, it's more about how we can both live how we want to live. I also want to get a dog and my friend has bunnies, so I doubt our pets would get on either

 

Culturally speaking dolls are childhood toys, and in modern times they're seen as something you're supposed to put away at a certain age, but they're also historically magical items in many cultures and I think some people instinctively fear them because they don't trust people who play with them. Somewhere in the human psyche there is this link between dolls and dark magic, with things like witchcraft and poppets or voudoun. It's much the same way with cats. Some people have an almost pathological fear of felines and they have no idea of why or reason to be. It used to be that any adult who played with dolls was seen as a witch, in league with something negative. Now days we know better but deep in the subconscious I think that connection still lingers and makes people leery. People who are scared of dolls from what I've seen are superstitious people. Me, I don't trust people who are afraid of or dislike animals, kids or dolls.

 

Hey Squib sorry to hear your friend is like this. We all have different likes and dislikes but that's what makes people interesting. Unless she has a genuine phobia towards dolls then she should not treat you like this. Friends listen to their friends even when it's a topic they themselves are not so interested in. I can understand that others may get bored if you talk about them all the time (i think i'm guilty of this at times) but to feel you have to censor yourself when talking to her is no good. You really need to sit down with her and have a talk about this before you move in together. Ask her why she feels this way and explain how important they are to you.

Personally though I have friends that like talking about bjds and others who just don't get it. One of my best friends can not understand why I have spent so much money on them so I pointed out that often she spends much more on cloths in a day than I have on a doll and then she said "I suppose your right there". I've also explained to others that they are like a piece of art and not everyone can appreciate them. Another thing I have noticed is that the creative/imaginative people I know are more accepting than those who are more focused on acting in a way that they feel is appropriate and acceptable. Some people are so worried about what others will think it makes them almost scared to do or like something a bit more unusual such as being an adult who collects dolls.

 

I don't have friends that HATE my dolls. At worst, some just have no interest, but most are actually really nice, or even in the hobby themselves.

I would not tolerate someone being so disrespectful as to trash talk my dolls or put me down for being in the hobby. I don't need "friends" like that. Friends don't have to share all the same interests, but I do think it's important to tolerate each other's personality quirks or interests. Respect it, at the very least. Your dolls aren't hurting anyone, so there is really no excuse for such hateful rudeness.

 

Whether she's just being a jerk, or is only acting out because she's afraid of dolls, the end result is the same-- it's not someone you need to be living with!

If she's just a jerk, and thinks it's fine to insult and harangue you about your hobbies and your things, that's not someone I'd want to live with under any circumstances-- just on principle. People who are mere jerks outside the home are absolute monsters to live with.

And if she's got some kind of genuine doll phobia, then, obviously, the last thing she should do is move in with a doll-collector. Common sense.

If you want to stay friends, stay as friends with different addresses.

 

Maybe you need to have a sit down and tell her your concerns, if she reacts in an unpleasant manner then do not move in with her as it could ruin any friendship you have now. Tell her how you feel and just see where it goes from there, their is someone who is a bjd collector on here and is scared of my zombie, I agreed not to take him to meets where she is, but thats the only real reaction I have had.

 

I'm going to offer a bit of a different perspective here...

One of my best friend HATES my dolls. She's pretty phobic about dolls in general, and considers BJDs to be the most unsettling of them all (Uncanny Valley Effect, anyone?) And to be honest, yes, she can be a little bit of a jerk about it. But I know her very well and have for a very long time, and I know her quirks and her tendencies to make snap judgements, and where some of those tendencies come from. Her occasional rudeness about just one of my hobbies is no reason to abandon her. She doesn't mean to hurt me, I don't really mind, and she's one of my best friends in the world. It's a non-issue!

Obviously, I have no idea of knowing what your friendship is like, and your situation could be totally different from mine. But I can't help but think that everyone who's saying "RUN AWAYYY" is failing to see the potential big picture!