What to expect from your first meet up?

I have spoken to people who's first meets have been unfavorable and people who's first meets went very well. My advice is that you not expect people to approach you, you have to be outgoing and just sort of jump in as though you've been attending them for lifetimes. As long as you are not afraid to approach the people things should go very well.
Basically, the people bring their dolls to a meeting place and just start setting up and basically after that they make the rounds to see the other dolls and chalk up general conversation about them. At our meet someone goes around collecting for pizza and then makes the run to pick it up, others will contribute snacks and sodas for everyone. But this depends on the group I think. If you join a meet up thread such things would be discussed.
It's very fulfilling and enjoyable. My first meet did not go well but I kept attending anyway and I learned the do's & don'ts myself. I'm very happy to go to the meets, it's so much fun and I always look forward to them. Our meets happen every month and I anticipate them and then all of a sudden it's over and I'm waiting for the next one.
Please understand I am not trying to be negative in my advice. Just a little warning. I've talked to quite a few people who felt "ignored" at their first meets and it was no different for me. But I learned that I have to just dive into it. It works. To me, that's the only real rule. Don't be shy!

 

I think the best plan is to find a meet-up thread that is going to happen in your area and join it and introduce yourself. If folks know you're coming you won't have to worry about being ignored, and you won't feel like everyone is a total stranger. And the threads usually have all the organizational stuff in them, so you'll know if you have to bring money to get in someplace, etc..

That's what I did for my first meet-up and it turned out very well. I didn't even have a doll, but everyone was very polite about showing me theirs and answering questions.

 

I have been to five meetups, with four different but overlapping groups, and they were all slightly different. One of them is at two different doll shops - one a large store where we walk around and shop, the other at a small private shop open only to us at the time, with tables where we can hang out (and try on wigs and buy them and eyes!). One was at a Con, and one was at a coffeeshop. Another was supposed to be at a garden, but ended up being at a restaurant and then later walking around a festival.

The common theme for them is sitting the dolls on the table and everyone hanging out. Sometimes there's restringing, sometimes people have items they want to sell or trade, sometimes there are new people who don't have dolls yet who get to ask questions and see the dolls, and there's always a lot of seeing dolls you've not seen before and sometimes you get to play with them too. Somebody's doll ends up naked almost always, for trying on clothes or restringing or to show joints or whatever. Sometimes dolls will get handed around, sometimes they mostly just sit, sometimes people will shoot an impromptu photostory, there's usually plenty of photography going on.

I'm not a very social person, and am pretty shy most of the time, but the dolls seem to help me over that a bit since they're a built-in icebreaker. I recommend posting in the meetup thread about the meet you're going to (and I also often look at what dolls the other people coming have, it's nice if you recognize the dolls, even if you don't know the humans). At all the meetups I've basically just shown up holding a doll and walked up to someone else holding a doll and said "hello!" - it gets much easier after that, people start asking about the doll and others drift over, and then you're all just talking and it's fun.

Be warned, meetups are like Miracle-Gro for wishlists. I handled a Puki ONCE and ended up ordering one!

 

I went to my first meetup in July 2009, all by myself!

Everyone seemed to know each other so it was kind of intimidating. Eating lunch alone was fun, but later on I joined another woman eating at a table by herself and we had a nice chat.

There's so much to see and do that you can wander around and mix and mingle without really trying too hard. There were items to shop through and displays to view. Also, tutorials and lectures that were very interesting.

Be bold and tell someone that you admire their doll or ask questions.

Don't forget your camera! Lots of good stuffs to see. And bring a little pad and pen with you too, so you can write down names of sellers and artists that you want to get in touch with later. Helpful if you see something that they offer but don't have the funds yet, and they don't have a business card.

Have fun!

 

oops, sorry missed this bit...

Lunch was pot luck so everyone brought something to share and it was set up at a buffet table

At the door, if you've prepaid pick up your brochure/name tag. Name tags had forum usernames, which was really helpful!

There was a gift exchange, so bring a small wrapped package if that's on the agenda.

There was a photo scavenger hunt, list provided with our name tags. So we had to find a doll with a tattoo, find a doll with striped socks, find a non-Asian BJD, etc.

Check out the lectures/tutorials ahead of time, if you are interested bring what you need i.e. note paper if you want to remember faceup instructions, unstrung BJD if you would like it strung, etc.

It's just fun, I'm sure every single meetup is different. Just take note of what's happening at the one you're interested in and participate.

 

i've been to three meet ups so far and was so damn excited that i had my Tala for the third he got squee'd over yay, even though he has no fancy clothes yet! my first meet was great though a friend took me with her so i was fine, the only thing is if you dont have your own bjd yet you feel left out but some people will let you hold theirs for a while i held a bjd at my first meet and was fascinated by her i just sat and carefully studied her for at least half an hour heheh.
its true though you should try not to be shy we dont ignore others on purpose sometimes its just a little hard to strike up a conversation. i once started one simply because i recognised that one of the others had kyo and kagura pin badges on their bag and we then went from fruits basket to fanfiction and bjds and alsorts ANYTHING can start a conversation though...i didnt know there was a do's and don't list...
as for food and drink we all just went/go to a buffet restaurant and all pay for our own food and drink, simple

 

Yesss... biggest thing I must say is to not be shy. You'll have way more fun.

As for what goes on..? Usually dolls are set up, any new dolls are introduced (informally), new people are introduced, and we start talking about... I dunno... not necessarily our dolls, but what we think of any news, or whatnot... pretty doll oriented.

The ones here in Honolulu are very small so once we get together, we kinda just go off and have fun and our dolls just happen to be tagging along xD Our dolls don't really have that much to do with our meets... they are more of just an excuse to get together.

 

The main thing I'm worried about is that I'll probably end up bugging some people from asking too many questions. XD I don't have the courage to bring my own doll, so maybe I'll be out of place...

 

Around here, we do meets monthly. I'm the thread runner, but everyone in our group is welcome to host the meet each month (We start with talking about ideas, and then when we have a solid idea of what most of the group would like, someone calls that they're hosting. Whomever does it first gets "control" sort of speak of the meet).


Well, expect to be nervous!

With any "hobby" meet, expect there to be accepting people, and people who aren't so friendly. Don't let the "not so friendly" get you down. With well established meet up places or groups, the old folks sometimes aren't too fond of newbies but they come around within a few meets.

At ours, we usually do meetings at local parks or other public places. If we have them in parks or at someones house we usually do potlucks! Which are always super fun. Some times we do swaps or sales while at the meet (which is fairly common so I've heard).

Generally we do not stay on the topic of dolls for more than 15 minutes at our meets (but we're beginning to be a fairly tight knit group with almost all of us being friends outside of them),so I have no idea if that's common or that's just us.


As for themes, details should be on the thread you join. with ones I've been too, themes usually seem fairly loose (go with it or don't, come either way). But a meet you join may be stricter on it!


If you go somewhere were there needs to be a reservation,be prepared to pay your part,which WILL be higher than what the thread says (always there's a few who SAY they're coming and intend to,but don't end up showing for whatever reason).



And as a few others said, you have to be prepared to jump right in in order to make the most of your meet experience. When you clam up, other people will unfortunately ignore you! I do this every meet for the first hour or so until I get comfortable.

 

*laughs* I was going to try to explain our group, but I think Raisallie got it. I think our dolls often end up just observing what's going on while we run around having fun. At least our areas are fairly relaxed.

To add on, sometimes the "not so friendly" folks are just a bit nervous about making an error talking to you. I know many people who in general have a hard time talking to new people since they feel they might accidentally offend. Often doesn't take too long to loosen it up.

Going with a good attitude and being prepared to have fun is usually the best way to approach a meet.
Edit: Camera! Camera! Don't forget your camera!!

 

I think that meet-ups can vary widely from place to place. Our gang meets monthly & we just moved from Border's cafe to Denny's private room as we'd kind of outgrown the space. We do a show & tell, pass the dolls around for everyone to see, though if you're uncomfortable with others handling your dolls, you don't have to pass them. Sometimes we have challenges or sales days & generally a mid-winter swap.

Mostly we just play dolls, have a bite to eat & yack about everything under the sun. A lot of folks bring their cameras & take pics too. We're always open to new people & have regulars from their teens into their 70s. It's just a fun night out with other doll lovers. And even those who are shy get drawn in by our common love of dolls.

 

I will be attending my first meet-up on the 31st, I'm so excited! This thread has been very helpful!

Cheers, Jeremy

 

I think it depends on what kind of meet you go to also.
During the big meets (that are usually put onto DoA) there is the set up, picture taking, sitting around and talking...etc.

But my favorite are the mini meets that I attend

Since you live in/near a large city you should be able to find a group that meets every month. Every group has their own style. My big group takes over a bubble tea place.

We like to meet in a location and get photos, or do a modding party, or clothes making party.

 

This is such a good thread! I haven't been to a Meet-Up yet myself and while I have read up on the 'Do's and Don'ts' I have no idea what to 'really' expect in terms of what goes on and I am more than a little scared to go since I don't have a doll yet myself (That, and I haven't seen a single meet-up thread for anything in my area )

 

I haven't been to meet yet but I want to go! I am going to a doll fair next weekend and will be taking a doll or two buy for.

I know that some of the people who attend my nearest meet are showing at the fair so I can talk to them and won't feel so scared about going to a meet in the future! Aha, see a plan... I am scared though.
I am an older doll freak and I do worry that everyone will be 16 and will go OMG shes sooo old!

 

There's no real common theme thread due to the fact depending on which state and which country you live in have different things that go on. I know with my area (IL/WI, USA) we're pretty much casual with things. No real theme for every meet up, just a bunch of us getting together and catching up, sorta like hanging out but we have our dolls with us. I hang out with some of the members with just myself as I've made plenty of friends through this hobby. Most of the major meets (50+ in attendance), we have a small theme that is an option to be followed, potluck food, pictures, sales table, admiring the new dolls in person, some small ice breaker games, and now we've started doing mini-panels. The mini meets it depends on where it is and how long we plan on hanging out.

If you haven't started talking with your local group (either through DoA or their local site), start. Talking to them online makes it much easier to talk to them in person.

 

I've gone to many types of meetups since '04... they are all a little different, but basically its just a meeting spot for owners with their dolls. You may expect to see dolls, talk with other owners... and usually taking photos is going on.

Meetups at PARKS, GARDENS, various outdoor sites--
Sometimes this involves picnics, sometimes not. Usually you meet up with other owners and take photos of your dolls and other dolls and maybe pose your dolls with others in various places. You can meet owners and talk with them and see various dolls.

Meetups at RESTAURANTS, Tea Shops, Boba Shops, etc.-- Usually you get seated and there should be a place to display dolls separately, for those who don't want to risk their dolls around food... but some people will keep their dolls with them. You eat and talk and take photos.

Meetups at CONVENTIONS (non-BJD)--
Sometimes it's very organized and is run like a typical panel--with people speaking and maybe making a presentation (maybe a slide-show), with some time to chat and take photos of dolls. Other times they are informal meetings taking place somewhere in a public area--hallway or lobby, where people can pose/display their dolls, take photos and sit about and talk--about dolls or anything else.

Meetups at HOMES--
These can be run any way the host/hostess wishes. As a pot luck or just light snacks or nothing at all. Like all meetups, there is usually a place to put dolls (table or chairs), photos can be taken, owners get together to chat or pose dolls or buy/trade items they have.

Meetups at DOLL STORES--
The ones at the former Elfdoll, now Dollheart store out by me usually have the store open for business and snacks and drinks, and maybe some special events--costume contest, raffle, presentation, etc. Owners get together with their dolls--set the dolls up somewhere, take photos and chat... and buy stuff at the store and participate in any activities.

MINI meetups-- A few people get together anywhere they want with their dolls and pretty much do the same thing-- pose their dolls, talk, take photos, whatever they wish to do.

RE-STRINGING, etc., meets-- Meetup somewhere, someone's home, most likely, where there will be someone with expertise on re-stringing or painting or ear-piercing, or hot-glue-sueding, etc., and who is willing to teach or help others with their dolls.

--In public settings--- we all usually try to be nice to those around us and answer any questions made by those who are curious about the dolls.

--Expect... people who like to talk about their dolls, but as in any social setting you have to expect to be friendly and try to meet others if you wish to talk with others... don't just expect everyone to run up to you and try and be best friends. Don't worry about asking others about their dolls--most owners love talking about their dolls--and most all owners don't mind answering questions. If you're a shy type, just enjoy setting up your dolls and looking at other dolls and don't worry about talking if you don't want to. You can usually just do what you wish, no pressure either way!

--Usually owning a doll is NOT REQUIRED. Most people at meetups don't care and are happy to help out people who are interested in dolls with any questions. Usually you can bring who you wish to the meetups--but if it's in a private home, the host/hostess will need to set their own rules about this. If it's in a public place, you can usually come whenever you wish and bring whom you wish.

--Usually owners are of various ages and backgrounds and are friendly to all kinds and types of people. This can really vary per meetup and area. Larger meetups usually will have the most variety, of course. Maybe find some people in your area to ask about specific meetups, if you're concerned about who goes to them and how they are! Most people will be pretty frank about it!

 

I attended my first meet-up last month and it was so good!!!!!I want to go again.
We have a small community in my country, and they sometime organize photo-meetings at special and wonderful places (the meeting I attended was in an old castle)
I wait so much our dolly Christmas in december.