Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

Jul 10, 2009

    1. I know that everyone has their own personal preferences, and some people aren't social. The latter, of course, is a given answer, so it's not necessary to post that as a response. :)

      However, I'm curious to know of any reasons you or others may have for avoiding or purposely not attending meetups. I know some people in the hobby just won't go to them, or have gone to one and won't return.

      Do you feel you're too old or too young?
      Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
      Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
      Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
      Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
      Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
      Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
      Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
      Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)

      These are about all the reasons I can think of personally as to why someone wouldn't want to go, but I'm sure others have different reasons.
      Why don't you or someone you know attend?
       
    2. Man, I wish I had the nerve to go to doll meets. I just don't know what to do with myself in a group of strangers >.<
       
    3. Personally, having once been very active in the meet up community, I no longer attend because I got tired of the school playground mentality. Some people are just rude and unpleasant, and I've got better things to do than deal with that in my fun time :)
       
    4. I used to avoid ones that I didn't know any one at. Mostly because, while I'm overly loud and out going once I know two or three people, if I don't know anyone, I get all weird and quiet and don't want to socialize at all.

      I also used to get embarassed a little of my dolls. My Nasia was so clunky compared to every one elses nice slim MSDs and it made me really self concious of her. So she was another reason I avoided them.
       
    5. 1st, I feel afraid that I'm butting in on someone's usual collector circle... like if I went to a meet that wasn't at an anime con, and say all the collectors know each other, and I don't know anyone, I'd feel pretty awkward. And, the last time I was at a meet an an anime con, all the collectors were older than me. They were all pretty nice, but I kind of felt like maybe I was too young to be into BJD's.
       
    6. I went to my first one last month and it was a mixed experience. I agree that attending one without knowing anyone else there really makes one uneasy. Luckily two girls who attended as well felt the same way so we talked and ended up having fun, but it was really odd that hardly any of the other people there were interested in anyone else' dolls but thier own. Quite rude if you ask me. At least I got up and walked around the table they were all on examining and admiring details and the choice of eye/wig/clothing,personality, etc people took time putting into thier dolls. I dont know, maybe its just cause its my first. :\

      I was really really embarassed about presenting my boy though. His clothes and appearance are slowly comming along, but nothing real impressive. However, I love him dearly.
       
    7. Do you feel you're too old or too young? nope, I am old but look young though
      Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? I worry about this at times, I usually take a LOT of dolls too so I worry people will assume I am showing off, if they don't already know me
      Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? nope, I am a tailor, I usually have them very well dressed...unless I have had a lot of commissions, it is like they say, the baker's home never has bread....
      Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? Sometimes, i am rather antisocial and insecure at times
      Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft? nope, never had a problem with it, and most people get intimidated by me so I get left alone
      Did you or someone else have a bad experience? Honestly no, most of my issues are due to my own paranoia (just because you are paranoid does not mean they aren't out to get you)
      Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll? nope, I had a doll before my first meet, which was the first ever Brisbane meet
      Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls? nope, I always want to purchase new dolls, that would be no change at all!
      Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.) no, most meets I have been to have been mid 20's and up people and those that had teens, well like I said they tend to be nervous of me. No need to be, i am actually a gentle person, I just look tense and scary cos I am paranoid (I know, catch 22 that) but in general I trust people, and watch over my dolls carefully, and usually have my partner there to help out too (and show off his dolls), as for the stripping them naked thing...well my dolls seem to like that so who am I to complain, I have no idea how many times we have pantsed Corpse to show off his PA, or stripped my partner's Vdes to ooh and ahhh over CP boobage. We grown ups can be as immature as kids at times, and honestly what is wrong witht hat as long as the dolls/owners don't mind and are asked before said stripping. Actually at most meets I have been to I end up either suedeing or restringing someone's doll for them so nudity happens by default
       
    8. Do you feel you're too old or too young?

      I feel too young, though I know a lot of the collectors in my state are my age/younger. It's just embarrassing that I have to have my mom drive me.

      Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?

      More me than my doll. Everyone loves a puki! I have low self esteem (I'm obese) so meeting new people and making friends is a very anxious thing for me.

      Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?

      Not really. My dolls dress better than I do!

      Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?

      Basically, yeah.

      Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?

      Neither, I'm more concerned about being judged for having a doll in public. I brought my puki to a craft fair once and all the old ladies were GLARING at me. D:

      Did you or someone else have a bad experience?

      Not really. I only went to one at an anime festival and no one recognized me/came up to say hi.

      Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?

      I'm afraid it's silly BECAUSE I have a doll.

      Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?

      Pfft no. I'm already doomed. What's getting my feet a little wetter?

      Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked?

      That's why I carry a bag full of bricks. 8D Kidding, but no I'm not really afraid of that. I'm more afraid of BEING that person, because when I get to know people I am loud and rather bouncy. Wouldn't pants a dolly though. I'd sooner pants myself.
       
    9. First let me state that i dislike the words "refusing to go", like its is an obligatory part of the hobby, and i am some how being wrong or at fault not going. I am a social animal, anxiety has nothing to do with this.

      I have never went to a meet for several reasons:

      1. Meets being held on days i had to work.
      I do a lot of weekend shifts just to afford these dolls, so i am often working in the weekend.

      2. Meets being held in the living room of someone i have never met before.
      I would go to a meet in someones living room if i had met them before or if i was officially invited by PM. But just to state "Hey, I have never met you before but I think you and youre friends will be having a lot of fun. Can I come to?" I think that would be rude.

      3. Meets being to far away to attend easiliy
      Four hours in trains and busses to get there, then four hours going back.
      That is a bit much.
       
    10. cyberspacegirl has a few good ones.

      Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)
      The times my dolls got stripped without asking it wasn't done by immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers, but by people who just didn't think it was rude to undress my dolls without asking. ;)
      I can imagine that when certain activities (like conversation topics or silly games) start to dominate a meet up it becomes less attractive to some people (independent of the age the majority has).
       
    11. Personally I'm just not interested in going; I'm not particularly interested in looking at anybody else's dolls and I'm not interested in parading around my own. I'm a pretty social person, but I don't really see dolls as something that is enjoyed socially.
       
    12. Cyberspacegirl has a few good reasons. I too won't go when the meet-up is too far away, or (in my case) when they are held on a sunday.
      Also, sometimes I'm so busy at work I can really dread spending several hours in a tiny overcrowded room. Meet-ups wear me out and I don't always want to go because I know I will still be tired a few days after.
       
    13. I have anxiety issues and I'm terrified of meeting new people. Also, because I'm still new to the hobby I'm actually a little afraid of doing something stupid and making myself look like a complete idiot, for example, asking simple questions about how to do something. Don't get me wrong, I have meet some wonderful people here who I know won't be judged, but if I asked a stupid question at school, I was laughed at. So, it's just drilled deep into my head. School sucked for me :lol:
       
    14. I am not a socialite at heart to begin with, and then my spare time is, well, spare :D

      And I don't care about other people's dolls, nor do I care showing mine. My personal take on the hobby is that it is a very personal thing ^^
       
    15. Similar to Cyberspacegirl, it's not so much "refusing" as... dunno, really... well, for me personally, it's not having the energy. I work a lot, and often I just can't make the time for a meet-up. It's not something I consider essential to enjoying the hobby, so it's sort-of fallen off my list of interests...

      However, a couple of good friends of mine are into the hobby, and so a pattern of spending time with them and involving dolls has started to occur. :) That's super-plus-double-good... two fantastic birds with one stone! :D

      All that said, it's an ambition of mine to make it to a Dolpa one day, which I guess in part is one very large meet...!
       
    16. I have anxiety issues about my dolls :sweat

      I don't let them sit in indirect sunlight, I don't carry them with me anywhere. Putting them in a bag terrifies me because I'm worried their face ups may get smudged or I might misplace a clothing item if I redress them at the meet.
       
    17. I have anxiety issues too.

      but I am considering going to a meet in the next week or so.......depends on my meds
       
    18. I'm kind of between the two really - I have a regular meet group (Midlands folks, woo!) but rarely go to other meets elsewhere, and avoid it wherever possible.

      So for those I don't go to:

      Do you feel you're too old or too young? Nope, I'm just right ~_^
      Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? I used to, but now I don't actually give a crap. I've had a lot of negative comments about some of my dolls, one in particular, and I still love to take them out. I have them for my enjoyment, not anyone else's, and I don't expect everyone to like my dolls - I don't like everyone else's dolls :lol: I wouldn't expect anyone to be rude about it of course, but I'm a very aggressive person - if someone said 'urgh, what an ugly doll' I'd either give them an earful of verbal abuse or just slap them and tell them not to be so unpleasant :lol: (I'm, um, not really that nice I'm afraid :sweat)
      Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? I take a lot of care in picking out my dolls clothes, so I hope they're worth showing off! XD But where I know they're not, it's the same as the last question - I don't really care much for 'showing off' and I have my dolls for my enjoyment. If one of my dolls has new duds I'll take them out wearing them, but if not I'm not all that bothered and I'm not bothered if no-one fusses over them XP
      Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? A little, but that's mostly my own insecurities and isn't limited to the doll community ^_^ If anything I actually care less what doll-owners think of me, since the ones who think ill of me are usually fairly pretentious anyway XD
      Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft? You would think yes, but not at all actually. I take my dolls anywhere and everywhere - I am extremely careful with them, but I feel the only place my doll could get stolen would be with other doll owners, and the meets I go to I usually know many, most or all of the people attending, and most of them where they live ~_^ :lol:
      Did you or someone else have a bad experience? Yes, basically. This is the exact reason I stick with my regular group, and really dislike going further afield for my meet-up fix. The girls (and now a couple of boys too :lol:) I meet with regularly are a wonderful bunch and I know them all well now. We get along great and I don't have to worry about them being rude - or at least, not seriously XD Whereas friends of mine have had some really unpleasant (not just rude, downright nasty) and unnecessary comments made about their dolls at meets and I really just can't stand people like that. I avoid other meets because I'm not as controlled as my friends (as I mentioned earlier :lol:) and if someone said things like that to me or to one of my friends while I was present it would probably come to blows. If I knew everyone would be nice then I would happily go to other meets, but unfortunately not everyone believes as I do "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". Some people believe they somehow have a right to pass judgement on other people and their aesthetic preferences, or are just too stupid to realise "your doll isn't very pretty" is not a nice thing to say. Pretentious or stupid, either way I don't have time for that kind of person ¬_¬ I don't walk around saying "urgh, your doll is ugly" even if I'm thinking it, because if someone said that to me I'd be hurt. Sure I might not enthuse over a doll I think is ugly, but I won't come right out and say it - I would even go so far as to say I'd rather lie and say I like a doll than say I hate it and upset someone. Fortunately that's never had to happen yet :lol: I manage to just conveniently not hear when people ask me if I like their doll, or change the subject ~_^
      Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll? n/a
      Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls? That's not a worry I have XD Most of my friends have massive dolls, and I don't like the biggies so much :lol: So that's ok for me!! :lol: It's the littlies I worry about XD But even then :lol: I only have a Puki because of pendrithgirl's Lily, who I saw at a meet XD I don't mind that side of it at all, I'd rather want a doll I've seen and held than one I might loathe when it arrives X3
      Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.) Expecting, experienced, used to XD Well, most of the people who strip my dolls are me or people who've asked :lol: Those who grab my doll without asking get a 'uh, hell no', a dagger-glare and me gently taking the doll from them and never letting them touch my doll again -_-
      I'd be disappointed if there weren't a fair bit of craziness at doll meets, and most of our meet group are in their twenties anyway, so it's not so much of an issue for me :3 I actually find the teens are more wary of upsetting people, and tend to be more polite ^_^ (yes, even you Del you crazy crazy lady :lol: i love ya <3)

      Sorry for my looooong post :3 If it's tl;dr the summary is: I don't go cause people are asshats, end of :3
       
    19. I must be one of the few that love meetups...I love seeing dolls in person that I'd never get to see otherwise. At the last Elfdoll meetup half my reason for going was because I knew MieAga would have her new Iplehouse Kamau and I wanted to see him! Not to mention that the other So Cal Dollshe owners were so awesome to me at the meet before last.

      The only reason I wouldn't go is if it were at someone's house I didn't know or the meeup coincided with my work schedule...I sometimes work weekends as well.
       
    20. All the people in my area are very nice and helpful. I went to one of the meet-ups before I even had a doll and they answered all my questions and let me look at all of the different sculpts. Guess I'm lucky.