1. It has come to the attention of forum staff that Dollshe Craft has ceased communications with dealers and customers, has failed to provide promised refunds for the excessive waits, and now has wait times surpassing 5 years in some cases. Forum staff are also concerned as there are claims being put forth that Dollshe plans to close down their doll making company. Due to the instability of the company, the lack of communication, the lack of promised refunds, and the wait times now surpassing 5 years, we strongly urge members to research the current state of this company very carefully and thoroughly before deciding to place an order. For more information please see the Dollshe waiting room. Do not assume this cannot happen to you or that your order will be different.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Dollshe Craft and all dolls created by Dollshe, including any dolls created under his new or future companies, including Club Coco BJD are now banned from Den of Angels. Dollshe and the sculptor may not advertise his products on this forum. Sales may not be discussed, no news threads may be posted regarding new releases. This ban does not impact any dolls by Dollshe ordered by November 8, 2023. Any dolls ordered after November 8, 2023, regardless of the date the sculpt was released, are banned from this forum as are any dolls released under his new or future companies including but not limited to Club Coco BJD. This ban does not apply to other company dolls cast by Dollshe as part of a casting agreement between him and the actual sculpt or company and those dolls may still be discussed on the forum. Please come to Ask the Moderators if you have any questions.
    Dismiss Notice

Why would I buy that if I could make it myself, and other untrue thoughts I tell myself

Sep 16, 2022

    1. Anyone else here struggle with buying things because of their "I can make it myself" complex?

      I'm a fashion student, so I hate the idea of buying my BJDs clothes. It comes from a place of guilt, like "I'm a design student, I should be able to make everything myself..." even though I know that it's not an admission of failure on my own skills to buy something from someone else. Even cheaper clothes I struggle with some sort of mental block to buy, because I feel like I should have to make all the clothes for my BJDs other than the clothes they initially came with... leading to me having very few, if any, alternate outfits, because I'm so bogged down by schoolwork and commissions to work on BJD clothes for my own dolls.

      Some of this comes from my parents who, upon seeing my interest in buying dolls, asked me why I don't just make them myself. Which, while I'm working on learning, is a very complex skill that is very different from 2D art, even from normal sculpting, because there's an engineering aspect.

      Anyway, I'm trying to unlearn these thoughts of not being allowed to buy anything because BJDs are supposed to be fun, not like a chore! Even if I could technically make it myself, sometimes it's fun to buy things, and it's great to support other artists who are trying to grow their business just as I am. I was curious if others here have the same thought loop of wanting to make everything themselves, often burning themselves out in the process.
       
      • x 8
    2. I felt the same way about buying clothes in the beginning.
      It actually helped me to talk about it with some lolita friends who are seamstresses that still buy a majority of their dresses for different reasons. One of these reasons is the fact your time is limited. And being honest about whether or not you would actually 'do' it. Some things are also not enjoyable to make so buying might mean less stressful.

      Now I just mix it up. Some clothes I buy and some I sew myself.
       
      #2 laquaza, Sep 16, 2022
      Last edited: Sep 16, 2022
      • x 3
    3. I am (or rather was) in that situation. Then that changed, and then it changed again! XD

      At the beginning, it was just me being thrifty. And then I bought some stuff and was dissatisfied with most of it. So I resolved myself to make the clothes myself, especially that I now have a doll that doesn't fit in any common size (An Argodoll plus-size body). Wigs and faceups, I've tried, but it's really not my thing and I have no talent with it. But clothes are still in the reachable range for my skills, so I would rather do it myself, unless there is some really amazing outfit.
       
    4. I've sewn (for people and for dolls) for well over fourty years and I used to feel like this

      (Still do over some of the more expensive stuff, that is somehow never quite how I'd make it or in the colour I'd want, or would require tweaking in some way to make it into what I actually want....)

      But nowadays I tell myself that while I COULD make it myself, I'd never get around to it. So, if I don't buy it, my dolls will just have to do without it. I do, however, take a really good look at stuff before I buy it and ask myself if it's exactly what I want, or whether I'd feel the need to tweak it a little once I had it (in which case, it wouldn't be worth buying it as it would sit in the "mending" pile waiting forever for that alteration to be made).

      I reserve my sewing time for the stuff I really WANT to make, or cant find to buy, and even then, I don't always get around to it as I have more ideas than I have time to work on them.

      Teddy
       
      • x 4
    5. My thoughts are really jumbled right now, so bear with me, but I have a similar problem. I can't always justify buying simple clothing pieces because, in theory, I could make it in an afternoon with like $5 worth of fabric. I make what I'm able, then I buy what I'm not able to make. This applies to more than just clothes, too; I know how to make wigs, so I can't bring myself to buy them half the time. I don't know how to make shoes or eyes though, so I let other people do that for me.

      I've had people tell me I should just do my own faceups, because I could probably do it if I tried. Maybe that's true, but that's yet another skill I'd have to spend time and money perfecting, and it's much easier to just pay someone else. (Plus that way I get to skip all the in-between bad looking ones lol.)

      So yeah, I'm in a similar boat. I do buy things, but I struggle with it sometimes. I think it's important to consider more than just "could I potentially make that" when looking at items (for example, "how much time would I have to spend?" or "how much would I have to invest initially to make something exactly like that?") but that said, I have difficulty making myself see that.

      I say sew whatever you want and buy what you don't want to sew, but again, I don't always follow my own advice.
       
      • x 2
    6. I never sewed before purchasing my first BJD/hybrid. It was fun for me at first, because it was something new, I never tried, and it even made my parents happy that I was trying something "traditionally-femenine," for a change (sew for dolls, instead of just hoarding them). So, I decided to make all my BJD's clothes myself back then, because it seemed fun, made my parents happy and my father even went out of his way to gift me a sewing machine. Fastforward to more than fifteen years later, I still suck at it! And I still refuse to purchase BJD clothes -- mostly because I am quite picky about proportions more than anything else, and I find closures on most doll clothes (ridiculously) out of scale. The only clothes I'm willing to "splurge" on are 1:6 action figure clothes from certain brands, or Barbie because they are cheap and I collect Barbie as a hobby (I don't actually put the clothes on the dolls, I just like collecting them -- I don't tread any of my 1:6 action figures as fashion dolls, nor do I do that with Barbie either). I only wanted to treat my BJD like fashion dolls, because I don't like thinking about most of my other toys as that. I prefer to think of my OT toys as collectibles, and not fashion dolls (probably because I am a weirdo). However, over time I got kind of bored of sewing for my older BJD (because I struggle and I suck), so I stopped. Now that I have recently purchased a mature tiny BJD, I am getting that spark back, so now I'm sewing things for him. However, sewing tiny clothes is proving to be a nightmare -- I knew that already from attempting to do so for 1:6 figures, which are kind of broader and taller in general, than my current mature tiny BJD! DX

      I still refuse to purchase clothes for any of my BJD, but I am open and willing to purchase things I find cool, cute or appealing, or proportionate looking as long as they are not clothes, wigs, or eyes when I can make those myself (not because I can make those better than readymade ones, or even make the latter or am I willing to, but because of proportions). I suck at making wigs as well, but I far prefer it to buying poofy wigs that'll will make my dolls look more giant headed, than they already do. For the most part, I'm just picky. I can purchase stuff without feeling like "I can make that myself" just fine, I just rather try making it myself and failing (but also learning along the way!) than wasting money on something I'm going to regret getting or not use after I received it. Also, because I am a huge weirdo, and like to do things the hard way. (:
       
      • x 2
    7. The reason I initially got into these dolls in the first place was to explore various forms of creativity, including fashion and doing my own faceups, etc. I’ve spent my years in this hobby exploring exciting fashion styles I wouldn’t necessarily wear myself, and each of my dolls has a wardrobe of 3-5 complete outfits (or more in some cases) that particularly suits their individual character. It’s been such a fun journey exploring fashion styles and creating these things for them.:) That being said however, sometimes it’s nice to go outside the box and add something special, made by someone else to round out your collection. When I do that, it feels like I’m treating myself…and that’s the way I look at it, so I don’t feel guilty. I’ve certainly worked hard on my collection over the years, but it’s so nice to be able to occasionally add a special outfit or get a beautiful faceup in a different style from my own. It helps keep my collection fresh. In fact, as an example, I’ve spent several years amassing a lovely collection of spectacular hats by a very talented artisan for my SD girls. Each one was an absolute treat to buy, and I feel very fortunate to have them. She obviously has access to amazing feathers and findings that I do not, and a unique talent in putting them all together, so they’re totally worth it!
       
      • x 2
    8. I've been there (or still in that mindset here and there, I should say).

      I build miniatures. So the thought of "why do I need to buy these expensive and hard to source props?" has cropped up multiple times. I've always designed diorama rooms and dreamed of filling them up with period-accurate little things. But it's a stretch to go from doll-house sized (1/12) things to my 1/3 and over dolls. I also have a full-time job that doesn't make anything easy. But that thought crops up time and again whenever I can't seem to find what I am looking for or what I wanted isn't in the size/colour I wanted. It's a struggle sometimes.

      My only saving grace right now is that I don't actually have any space to display my dolls. So making props for them doesn't seem like an immediate concern at the moment. I am still fomenting ideas on what to make, but at least I know that my current circumstances is enough to keep those thoughts at bay.

      I agree with some of the commentators here, though: we only have finite time in a day. And there are needful things to be done during that given time to keep going. If I spend my time on doing things that I know I can do instead of what I need to do, I'll run out of time really quickly. And I still need to make sure I get everything squared at my day job so I can feed my doll hobby!
       
      • x 2
    9. Speaking for myself, I simply find I can enjoy other people’s work more than my own (though not always because I can be super picky.) I have no idea why, but for me, that’s a reason to buy from others rather than doing it myself.
       
      • x 2
    10. Well, I can't sew to save my life, so, with clothes, no.

      But, with certain other props and items for them, sometimes yes. It's often really hard to find just the right prop, so sometimes I have no real choice to make my own. Case in point, I need a bow and arrows for a YO sized doll I have on order, and the bow needs to look very natural; like an Ent plucked off a branch from itself and shaped it and handed it over to her... cause, that's what happened in her story... I've had no luck finding anything quite like that
       
      • x 1
    11. I used to think like that until I really tried my hand at things like faceups and realised the amount of time I would need to put in just to be good is not worth the cost and materials if I just bought it. Obviously I would prefer making it myself but it just tends to end up as lots of money wasted when doing something I don’t like on an object that would look 10x better if I just bought it.

      If it makes you feel guilty, try not to stress on it and just do what you want! Most importantly this should be a hobby to relax and it’s not really worth it in the long run!
       
      • x 2
    12. Oh yeah, for sure! I have that kind of attitude to the point it's slightly maddening, LOL. Just yesterday, I was looking for furniture plans to build my dolls some props and such... I've never built anything like that in my life, but for some reason I'm more willing to try that than pay for ready made BJD furniture! XD Not just for dolls, either - I have a mini "matcha whisk" made out of a straw and floral wire... even though in hindsight, I think just buying one would have only cost me a couple dollars. Yeah... My family likes to call me MacGyver. :lol:

      I definitely am trying not to be like that these days because sometimes my time and sanity is more valuable than the money, as is not giving myself any more carpal tunnel LOL. It makes me feel better to know a lot of my BJD purchases come from independent crafters who are passionate about what they do, and of course artists deserve to be paid well! :3nodding: That being said, it's such a pain to find people to commission in today's BJD world... some things I would rather not make myself, like wigs, but it's so hard to find people who are open or work with my preferred material/doll size or understand English, etc etc... *_* so I've mostly just bought stock/ready-made things right now...
       
      • x 1
    13. Yes, I'm that way, but then I do make everything myself except eyes and shoes. Those are the only things I buy because I've not been able make any I like. It may take me a little while to have time to make everything but I eventually do. And I've been in this hobby more than 15 years now,so I have bought some clothes and stuff over the years, but I've learned that for me atleast I'm always happier when my dolls are wearing/using stuff I've made myself
       
    14. The faceup artist version is "Why would I pay for a faceup when I know I can paint it myself!?" :lol: Biggest lie I tell myself to save a bit of money. And the reality is, I do try to save money here/there with dolls. Outfits are way more expensive than faceups, so if I had even an iota of skill in that area, I'd probably try to do the same and make clothes vs. buying them all the time.

      However, I do try to recognize my own limits regarding doing it all myself. I just don't have the time, energy or willingness sometimes to do it myself. So these are the questions I ask myself so I can touch base with reality...
      1. Do I really have the time and energy to paint up the doll when it arrives? Especially when I have a few others that are still missing a faceup...
      2. If I don't have time to paint this doll right away will I begin to lose my enjoyment/excitement over the doll?
      3. Do I love this doll because of the promo faceup, and will I feel my work is inadequate and doesn't quite bring out the beauty of the doll like it's default does?

      ^If I really feel like I have the energy to get to it in a reasonable time period, and I'm not super in love with the default, I'll do it myself. However if not, I suck it up and pay for the faceup. Takes a huge burden off my shoulders.
       
      • x 2
    15. Before I started collecting dolls I had already been sewing and working with resin and clay to make jewelry and such so I actually love that I can put those skills to use with my dolls. I never buy eyes, I've made every doll in my collection their own pair, realistic and cartoonish. I've sewn simple items for some of my girls and I actually really want to try wig making. I'm just not good at making my own sewing patterns for more intricate stuff, so I buy it. I'll also buy shoes cause those are a pain to make and make look good and not a craft project. I never feel bad about buying clothes online cause I make sure I buy from artists and small creators and I love being able to support them and oogle at their amazing work. I'm also a mild hoarder and keep anything that doesn't work just in case another project comes up I can use them for.
       
      • x 1
    16. I do this sometimes. I always do my own faceups unless I buy a secondhand doll with a perfect one. I might not be a professional faceup artist, but I'm good enough that I'm happy with my work (and when I'm not, I just redo it). I do make my own clothes when it makes sense to do so--if the doll is odd proportions and I can't buy ready made, if it's something super easy and I can get the fabric relatively cheap. But if it's going to take more work and money to get the supplies and make it, I'll just buy. I suck at making shoes, eyes and wigs. I have had supplies for these things and either never used them, or failed totally at making them and it wasn't worth the cost or frustration.

      I also keep telling myself I'm going to sculpt my own head, then end up failing miserably and giving up.
       
    17. I have a number of weird sized dolls that won't fit in "off the rack" clothes so making something for them is almost a necessity. Aside from that, the styles I have them wearing in my head often don't happen in reality unless I make it. Or if they do, they're way beyond the budget I'd be comfortable with. For wigs, sometimes there's nothing for me to do but make it myself because of the style/colour/size. I like making eyes and now that I do, I can give my guys exactly the eyes I envisioned them having. Even so, a fair number of my guys wear eyes I didn't make because what they have in their heads is just them.

      I do recognize my limitations though and don't have a problem buying those items I know I can't make.

      Shoes are not my wheelhouse and frankly I don't have the desire or patience to learn how to make shoes. My boys are either barefoot or I've managed to hunt down the right look of footwear for them. Face-ups, I have less than zero skills. I easily pay someone else to do that for me.

      I have bought outfits that I know I could make but as someone else said, would I ever get around to doing that? I've had specific fabric in my tote bin for.... 8 years? for an outfit for one of my guys. I know exactly what the outfit will look like as a finished product and I have the pattern for it. I've just never gotten my lazy butt into gear and done it. He has other things to wear so it's kinda low on my priority list.
       
    18. I try really hard not to do this to myself anymore, because I went through a phase where I told myself I had to paint every face, make every wig, and try to find time to sew when I wanted something I knew I could make myself even though I’ve discovered through this hobby that I hate sewing.

      It’s not fun. So now I buy quite a lot off Taobao and only craft when I want to, not when I think I have to. I still paint most of my dolls, but making wigs and clothes are mostly off the table because I don’t enjoy it as much. This is a hobby, not a job.
       
      • x 2
    19. I sew myself, particularly I sew for dolls. "I'll make it myself" tends to come less from a place of guilt and more from wanting to get my little hands into the challenge of creating, and because I am PICKY. A "doll suit" that has a modern cut waistcoat and modern slacks is just no fit substitute for a 20s waistcoat and some fishtail waistband suspender trousers, not for long anyway. I get highly specific ideas for outfits, and no one makes what I want, so I end up making it.

      On the other hand I also do not try to make *everything* myself, probably because of said lack of Guilt. I dabble in making shoes but I can't do modern shoes and sometimes I can't be bothered. So I buy them. Those will look better and save me time and energy. I don't fantasize about making shoes, with few exceptions. Whereas I DO want to make historical menswear for my Yves.
       
    20. I used to have a similar mindset to Alex Second Designs. I can sew all the things! Only buy under specific circumstances!

      ...As it turns out, I love sewing BJD clothes too much to sew all the things. My "want to make" queue is too long, and the allure of starting a shiny new project often meant abandoning partially completed ones. I'm now very careful about pacing myself and I try not to go overboard with sewing or crafting.