A Collector or Addict?

I'd say I am a recovering addict. Before BJDs, I definitely had an addiction to fashion dolls--Barbie, Bratz, Disney Princesses, celebrity dolls, you name it. At one point, I had about 300 of them, it was insane. I actually sold them to buy my first BJD. Over the years, I was so addicted to getting new BJDs, it started to feel like my fashion doll days all over again. At most, I think I had 38 BJDs and one floating head. At that point, I realized I was totally overwhelmed and made myself cut back to 20 max. I'm currently at 16 and a floating head, and I don't have any others on my wishlist. But clothes and shoes....I might still have an addiction there.

 

I’m definitely more of a collector. I only buy a doll if I absolutely love everything about it. And even then, it will take me years to finally pull the plug and purchase it. So after 9 years in the hobby, I only have 4 dolls, with a 5th on the way. I could buy more if I wanted to, but I don’t want dolls that don’t have that special “spark.”

 

I guess I’m a collector right now but I know I will reach my limit and not want anymore at some point. Will I be a collector after that? Perhaps I will be more like the poster above who prefers to just enjoy the dolls they have instead of continuously adding more.

It is extremely easy to be an addict within a community like this, especially if there is money readily available. There’s a bit of FOMO (fear of missing out), and a bit of genuine love for the dolls, and a bit of enabling all right there as soon as you open this site or a FB group or Instagram or wherever else the community resides online. I’m not criticizing, just sharing what I think and see! I wonder sometimes when I see someone who has bought five dolls within a short amount of time. Are they ok? Are they an addict? I don’t say anything because that’s not a conversation to randomly have with a stranger. But I still wonder. It is what it is and we all have our own journeys to walk.

 

I think I'd consider myself to be a hoarder. I collect more types of dolls than just bjds. I have BJDs, reborns, American girl dolls, Disney animator dolls, Barbies. I have way more clothes for dolls than I do myself. It has become a huge space issue, bit I have trouble letting go of anything. I think about dolls most of the time.

 

It sounds like dolls are how you express your creativity and I think that's beautiful
I think you're a storyteller rather than a collector or an addict, and I can't wait to hear more about your dolls

Congratulations on down sizing! It takes a lot of hard work to do something like that.

I think you really captured the "traps" around the hobby and the thought process that can get someone ensnared.
I do struggle with a balance between innocent browsing and impulse shopping. FOMO is a big factor. As for the forums though I feel it puts a damper on the need to fill an emotional hole with purchases. Sure, there are advertisements on the first page, but actually getting to talk to people about BJDs has done wonders not only for my impulses, but my general happiness. Every morning I wake up excited to check Den of Angels to see threads update or to see if someone has replied to me.
I do admit I am guilty of buying 5 dolls really close to each other. So I have to be careful and reign in addictive behavior. I think a factor is that none of the dolls have arrived yet, so I don't feel like I actually "have" them. This makes fighting impulses difficult, I think, because I'm still wanting.
Thank you for bringing up your concerns! You made excellent points

 

Getting addicted..

 

This is a really good question! I think some people just own some dolls, and don’t consider themselves collectors. But, I think collecting itself can have its roots in need for self-soothing or some unmet need or something psychological. (but, if you have those issues, you’re just as likely to use regular shopping or food or YouTube to the same ends.)

I think scrolling through listings or looking on the Internet at dolls can be very soothing on its own. There is a thrill to the hunt in its own right. There is also definitely a BIG hit of dopamine you get when you finally hit the buy button. For some people, I think it’s easier to express or fall into addictive behavior because of that dopamine hit. I know I’ve personally used shopping/scrolling for self-soothing purposes when I’m stressed or anxious.

But, HEY It’s not alcoholism! You’re never going to buy so many dolls that you drive your car into someone!

But, like you said, you can end up with an overwhelming amount of dolls that you are not enjoying. I set limits on myself to a certain size, and I finally ended up with the criteria of “do I like the doll more than anything I already have?” I feel like my collection is in the perfect place right now, which I’m grateful for. It helped a lot to turn my focus from buying to making clothes, jewelry, props and sets for the dolls.

 

Oh god, imagine getting in a car and twenty SD dolls grab your arms and make you run off the road.

It really does seem that investing time in the dolls you have fills that "need" that can be missing in life. I picked up Sewing Clothes for Barbie and I feel like I understand patterns better now that I'm looking at a smaller scale. I was really lost at first

I'm glad to see that switching focus has worked for multiple people

 

SNORT!! Too funny!! Now, some of those bigger dolls might be able to take you out in the car! I tried sewing for Barbie, but it’s infuriatingly tiny. You can harness collecting smaller items or making things and use that as an outlet if you find yourself spending too much time looking for new dolls.

 

Currently I believe I am a collector, I do not see my self stopping my purchases of dolls any time soon. I have bought and sold dolls and I enjoy combining my other hobbies with my dolls, so do not feel as though the hobby is just the buying and selling of my dolls. Most of the dolls I have are inspired/ based on original characters I have created for a book series I am writing and it's fun and helpful to have a tangible representation of them. There are only a few that are purely just beautiful dolls that I just enjoy dressing up and looking at.

 

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That’s a really good point! To be an “addict,” I think you would be spending money on the hobby that you don’t have or that might cause financial troubles elsewhere in your life. although, you might not notice you had a problem if you had the funds to afford buying in an addictive manner.

 

Probably a little of both. When you look at my collection you'll be able to see that I don't just buy whatever, that I do have a particular look I go for. That being said I told myself no dolls in 2021 and I just bought my 4th one this year.... Sooo... I definitely have a problem XD

 

I think credit cards are really good at aiding addictive behavior. I have a credit card - it's a cash back one so every time I use it, I earn cash rewards. So I tend to use it for large purchases. Dolls and a lot of their outfits are always big purchases. I make monthly, even bimonthly payments but it never seems to be 100% paid off. So I wonder if I am more addict than collector. But then credit scores depend on you having lines of credit. I need to research that more.

 

Honestly I have a bit of an addiction issue when it comes to a lot more then just dolls. I had a hard childhood and I remember as a kid I found comfort in collecting. As an adult now I can never have just one of something. I collect gold jewelry, ear weights, plants, shoes, clothes, purses, crystals, tattoos, piercings, and of course, dolls. In my old studio when I lived in SF I had like, an ungodly amount of plants lol. It was like a nursery. My list of dolls I want is sooo so long. But honestly, as long as I can afford it and it's not hurting anyone...I don't find my collecting addictions to be problematic

 

A bit of both.
I am a seriously picky collector. I enjoy a bunch of sculpts but stick to mostly only buying those I'll use for characters if I can.
I find I have a hard time going without a new doll for long periods though, especially if I can't find any on my grail list. I get serious anxiety about it and sometimes will slip and get another doll that has no character (which may or may not lead to a resell if I can't find something to work with it), so it doesn't always make me feel better.
I don't much mind if it leads to "too many", but I'll mind more if it's not a grail. If I'm not careful, I definitely could end up being a serious addict as I really do enjoy the beautiful sculpts even if they aren't a character. It's been tough keeping it balanced out.

Actually, I quite agree. I used to be an addict not caring about what I spent a long time ago when it came to buying things. It's really rough not to fall overboard again. So I guess I'm a reformed could tip over addict?
However, if I were richer and could spend whatever I wanted I'd really have to watch myself. I know that edge is extremely difficult, especially with my love of dolls.

 

I am not addicted to BJDs themselves, I just see them as a medium. But I want as many iterations of certain movie characters as possible. I mostly love certain characters from Marvel and Star Wars, and those I collect. In the meantaime, it is not BJD exclusive anymore, but also action figures. I love seeing many variants of the same character, how he ages over time. One of the most interesting is the Star Wars characters Temuera Morrison portrays, and his many iterations.

 

Starry City, I’m so sorry you had such a rough time in childhood. I can completely relate. I’ve always thought the origins of collecting must be linked to the security of “having enough.“ it’s like a stress response to want to feather the nest and make sure you won’t run out. I read somewhere that your brain doesn’t know the difference between new stuff and stuff you already have, so if the urge to start browsing hits, sometimes I will organize my doll clothes or do some project where I interact with my collection and reassure my head that I definitely have enough. But, like you said, if you can afford it, it’s not hurting anybody. There are definitely worse ways to deal with childhood trauma or neglect!

 

@KathrynB
I hadn't considered the trauma of "not having enough" during childhood.
My family went bankrupt and all of my belongings were sold or thrown away, to move to the country where me extended family lived, except for books and my American Girl doll that my mom loved buying stuff for. For years I hated that doll because she represented all the stuffed animals that I actually loved that were sold or thrown away. I kept her in a chest so I wouldn't have to look at her.
Years later as an adult, I had a really rough time and I was all alone. I took out the doll and the shape of her hand (and holding onto it) was enough to get me through the night. After that, I brought her with me to college. But there was something off with how I felt about her.
After going to therapy, I realized the sheer amount of neglect and torment I had gone through because of my mother- who loved the doll more than I ever did and discarded all of my belongings that I cherished. She kept the books because I had a reputation for reading fast, not because I asked to keep them.
I left the doll in my mom's storage and cut contact with her.
Since then, I've gotten some stuffed animals that I really love, I do still like dolls. But I wanted something more mature, not like the child body of the doll I had. I admit that a part of wanting dolls relates to the night I had no one and held the hand of the doll I hated to not feel alone.
I guess I'm still seeking that sense of comfort and I just want 'more' since the dolls I've ordered haven't arrived yet.
Which is kind of mind blowing?
Sorry for the info dump, it just really made me think.

 

@SneakyUnicorn, I think Collecting definitely stems from things like that. But, I also think we return to the things we used to self-soothe as children, when an adult was unavailable or unable to do that. Scarcity in childhood could also trigger addictive buying habits, but I think it’s also a hunter gatherer thing! When something bad is coming, we instinctively want to forage and make sure we have enough supplies in store to weather it. If you had a rough childhood, you’re pretty much raised to always feel like “something bad is coming.“ Lol!
But, like I talked about earlier, I read that your brain doesn’t know the difference between new things and old things. Just sorting through or handling the collection you have can reassure her that you have enough.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that, SneakyUnicorn! Having all your possessions taken away with no say in the matter would be especially traumatic for a child’s sense of control and well-being!