A situation where you had to deal with not being able to get any dolls?

Hi!
Coming from a low-middle income family as well I was able to get into the hobby past my 30s, when I have a permanent and fairly-well paid job. And even now this is quite a privilege for me to be able to buy any dolls! So please do not feel bad for not being able to buy one right now.

While I completely understand the need to actively participate in the BJD community, you might be able to do so via various ways, not only via having dolls. You may still ask for advice, plan for your future dolls, learn how to sew or do face ups on other, less expensive dolls [if you can afford some art supplies] or just lurk around here, check Marketplace, seek for inspiration or owner photos of the doll you plan to buy etc.

I think it is quite mature of you to admit there are more important things to buy than dolls, when money is scarce and I really applaud you!

Maybe, if you have any income, irregular or not, you might be able to save just a small percentage of it towards your doll budget? To build it more slowly, without disrupting your everyday needs, but steadily?

 

I'm sorry for your disappointment! My family didn't have much money when I was growing up, so I understand (one of the best Christmases I remember was a year when I had the opportunity to sell hand-made Christmas cards at a local store, which I did secretly, and then surprised my parents with a $25 check as a gift on Christmas morning - I was sooo proud haha).

The best thing I can suggest is to keep saving and keep the long goal in mind. Make mood boards for your character (if you have one planned), or boards for clothing styles. If you're interested in learning how to craft, start studying sewing (construction of clothes, types of fabric, hand sewing if you don't have a machine, etc.). If you're interested in dioramas, look into thrift stores and charity shops where you might find little inexpensive props and accessories to pleasingly fill a space.

Look at everything as a potential resource (even cardboard boxes can be made into furniture) and save whatever you can that is free or would otherwise go to waste. If your friends have old/broken jewelry they don't need, maybe you could make it into doll jewelry and sell it. Since you're going to school, maybe the art department has bits of paper/clay/etc. they don't need that you could use for crafting. Sometimes libraries have 3D printers that can be used by the public - maybe look into 3D design and consider making some accessories like food for dolls or other props.

When you can't save money, learning and saving other resources can help you feel like you are progressing toward your goal. And you may find that you develop a skill (sewing, drawing, etc.) that can be used to earn money to save for your first and future dolls.

Food and school are your priorities right now, and it is admirable that you are working hard to be responsible in that regard. I know it is hard to wait, but this time will not last forever.

I hope this helps!

 

First off, I'm proud of you for keeping priorities straight, that shows a level of maturity that some folks in the hobby that are fully middle-aged fail to show.

Second, I understand your disappointment. I learned about the hobby in my early teens and saved up birthday, Christmas, and odd-job money to try and get my first (would have been a Bobobie Apollo in Light Tan, I still remember!). That was the one year I had a real birthday party with friends, and after the sleepover (we were in a cabin), I wanted to go home with a friend for a night. I had all my cash on me since I was mentally keeping track of how much I'd need and I finally had enough to cover the doll, some clothes, and a wig I'd liked so he'd be pretty complete.

But, I made the mistake of trusting all of my money to my mother. By the time I was picked up and brought back home the next day, every dollar I'd saved was completely gone. She promised to pay me back, but became angry any time I brought it up, even as months and eventually years went by. I basically gave up on ever being in the hobby, I was young and felt like I'd never be able to save up that much again once I was an adult (my family has a string of bad luck when things start look up for us).

My dad ended up paying me back (out of his disability money, no less) after they divorced, but by then I had to spend that money on supplies for college. It wasn't until after my last semester that I finally got to buy my first doll.

It sucks when life gets in the way of the things we enjoy, but it'll make getting your first doll that much more special. I nearly sold my first doll, but I'm glad I didn't. I realized I'd miss him too much, so I'm just opting to go in a different direction with him than I first thought and I'm liking my idea much better now.

And, like said above, you CAN participate in the hobby without having a doll. We're happy to have you here!

 

I would definitely try going to doll meetups if you can so that you can play with other people's dolls! I did that before getting a doll of my own

I also watched a ton of box openings and faceup videos, sewing videos etc. to enjoy the hobby even though I didn't have a doll yet.

It took me well into my 30s also before I could afford a doll. But if you are open to previously loved dolls or more affordable options you could probably get a doll sooner! Good luck

 

Hi! well I can say for sure that I get you; I was born in Venezuela, so 80% of my life was lived in the dictatorship that ruined the country's economy; I will tell you that my father even had hunting as a hobby and brought us deer to eat, at that time many families did not have food but my father supplied us with his contacts and life was almost normal, my school was private but cheap, also my college was the same in that aspect. I never worked as a minor and as an adult, I wanted to focus on my studies since my parent provided for me and that allowed me to graduate at a very young age, so I'm really amazed that you can work and provide some things for yourself, that's really cool, maybe you'll even reach your goal again without much thought.

What I'm getting at is, from a very young age I knew there were these crazy expensive dolls and I always knew I wasn't going to have one until I was an adult with a career and earned my own money (I even had to leave my country). When you have your own money and in quantities where you are not worried about daily expenses, that's the perfect time to get a doll . Plus, if your parents and friends are the types to dislike this kind of hobby, when is your money they can't say anything about it, that wasn't my case but for some people it's hard to spend a lot of money on "a toy" without getting criticized.

of course, this doesn't have to be your case, for me, I can't imagine paying a layaway with the anxiety of not having enough money to carry it out, I would die of anxiety... Even when I have the money, I get a little stressed about paying such a large sum of money.

So, in the end, it really depends on you, you can skip my long journey lol and just keep saving money, maybe if you don't focus too much on a large sum, and just go little by little, keeping that amount of money set aside, someday you will have the capital needed to buy it. The hobby it's pretty solid and is not going to disappear and some grail dolls come back in the second-hand market, so who knows, maybe if you are a little patient, you can enjoy the hobby without having to worry about things that could harm your daily life.

I really support you and I know that you are going to have your doll and you are going to love it! I wish you the best of luck!!

 

Hi I definitely get you, my family is middle income as well and I'm disabled so I don't really have a stable way of working, and when I do I often lose the job due to my disability after a while. My parents are also trying to retire and my dad's work is not steady, so doll money is space for me, and when it does come by I have to spend it all on the doll at once, no layaway for me unless it is extremely short as I can't plan far ahead. It's a struggle but eventually you will be able to get a doll! It might just take some time... which I know isn't a fun answer but it's the best answer I can give

 

Definitely!! It took me about 6 years after discovering the hobby to actually get a doll, and even then, my first doll was $183 including shipping (Angel of Dream Chen, in stock at JunkySpot, in 2008 when USPS shipping was a fraction of what it is now). I was in school with no job, then when I did get a job, I had my own apartment and couldn't save much at all. I basically put the hobby out of my mind for awhile. Eventually, I got a 1/6 Obitsu and fell in love with doll customizing and decided I had to get a BJD, no matter how hard or how long I had to work. I had three jobs at once at one point, saved what I could (not much), but most of my money came from selling old stuff--fashion dolls, figures, clothing, toys, anything of value that I was willing to sacrifice for a BJD. At that rate, I cleaned out my apartment and my room at my parents' house pretty quickly, and about a month and a half later, I had enough for my first boy. I told myself that he'd be my only doll ever, but about six months later, I got a promotion to management at work and rewarded myself with my second doll. At this point, I was 25. The next two years were a bit rough, but then with a career change, I was able to have 3+ layaways going at once, things were good! A few years after that, I became a housewife but my husband was making enough to keep spending. Then due to health, the situation changed and for about three years, I had no spare money at all without selling things first, and even then, sometimes that money had to go to bills.

Things are finally good again, but my 15 years in the hobby have definitely been a rollercoaster ride! I'm not going to lie and say the times without were easy--they weren't. I just had to look at them as a time to hope for tomorrow to be better, do what I could to improve my situations, and have a lot of motivation to clean out my closets and see what old useless stuff I could finally let go!

 

I bought my first doll when I was in a similar situation to you. As soon as I was old enough to legally get a job, I got one in order to buy my first bjd. Because I was so young and still lived with my parents, I didn't have to worry about paying bills, so I was able to put all my money towards dolls. I had to be suuuuper deliberate with what dolls I wanted, though, because I didn't make much money, so I developed very picky tastes.

Once I went off to college, though, I stopped buying dolls entirely because I just couldn't afford them at all. I barely had enough money to buy myself food, let alone any money to spend on any hobbies (especially one as expensive as bjds). For this time I just separated myself from the hobby entirely. I didn't look at dolls I could buy online, I didn't work on the dolls I already had, and I barely even looked at dolls from other people in the hobby. The best way to avoid that sense of missing out was to just avoid knowing about anything all together.

Once I graduated and got a job, I began collecting again, and I can afford more dolls now than I ever could before. I'm by no means well off, I'm definitely lower-middle class, but with smart budgeting it's no longer an issue for me to afford dolls. I will say, though, coming back to the hobby after 4 years and seeing that a bunch of the dolls I once wanted are now discontinued is sad. It's also a bummer seeing all the new limited dolls I missed out on, but there's always the second hand market for that. Overall, it's best to prioritize your basic needs over an expensive hobby. There will eventually come a day where you'll be in the position to participate in the hobby again, but it's important to survive in order to get to that point, haha.