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A Tiny Concern about Tiny Cliques

Mar 7, 2011

    1. I have recently gotten some feedback that members find some of the discussion threads here to be very clique-y -- that nobody answers their posts, or comments on their pictures, and they feel rather like they are back in high school trying to find a way in to the popular crowd.

      Inside jokes, ONLY commenting on certain people's posts or pictures, all lend to an atmosphere that I don't think we want to see here.

      That made me pretty unhappy, as I do believe we are a friendly bunch here. So I hope that hearing this makes everybody think twice and welcome everybody with open arms.

      Must get to work, so I must sign off... I just wanted to share this, as it did make me sad to hear it. And we are so tight here, I wanted you all to know. :aheartbea

      much love and :hamster:
      sherry
       
    2. I'm so glad you brought this up, Sher as I have been one of those people who feel similarly about things around here. I am a bit of a lurker for the most part as I enjoy observing more than chatting but all too often I see posts being completely ignored by new comers and even long time users. Questions going unanswered and pictures being left by the way side without a comment are far too common. Things tend to move pretty fast especially in the threads for dolls that are really popular and so its understandable that someone's picture might get swept away as well as any comments or questions they have. But even in the slower moving threads I've noticed this is still a problem. I believe that if we are to be a community there needs to be more solidarity and welcoming of every comment, question and picture our members have to share otherwise people feel left out and less a part of the forums. I make Den of Angels my number one online community as it is the most informative, fast paced, and intelligent places the internet has to offer. I enjoy coming here as I feel no one is judging or outright rude to anyone else and that we are a welcoming and friendly group. The high school feel is a bit rampant though lately and its frustrating. I hope Sher's words help us all to be a bit more conscious of each other and make this forum more fun for everyone whether they're seasoned veterans or brand newbies.
       
    3. I'm relatively here to DoA. :)

      I have to say that I haven't had that experience in the Pukipuki thread. People there have only ever been very kind and welcoming and have almost always answered my posts. I always to try to answer as many posts as possible. However if I've been away for a little while the posts tend to accumulate, and occasionally it's can be a bit exhausting to answer everyone individually, so in that case I just leave a general answer to everyone.

      There is another tiny thread which I don't always feel so welcome in though. I've tried to make comments but just in the past week or so they haven't been answered. I have given up trying to talk in there for now. I hope it improves a bit soon :)

      Fairy Hugs,
      ~Coco~
       
    4. I've had this unpleasant experience often... It's true that I look more than I comment but everytime I post a picture, I try to comment on the picture before me and I often see my own posts completely ignored... I must say that it's going on a lot more in the tiny thread than the msds. It's a little bit disappointing but I know that if everyone makes an effort, each one of us will feel appreciated.
       
    5. It's something I've noticed as well...in some places more than others. Inside jokes don't bug me really but explaining things is always helpful to newcomers. I know that a lot of us are both on Flickr and DoA and many things travel back and forth between the two sites.

      I do notice this more in the Tinies section and I think it's more because there are different SIZES of tinies that we don't get in the MSD forum as much...I find this community is more divided not so much by users...but by doll sizes.

      I too find the threads too fast paced so i don't comment much but some people do have difficulty using Multi-Quote and I'm happy to explain it to any user who has an issue.

      :aheartbea
       
    6. I don't think we each have to reply to EVERY single post in every thread, I think that would make everything truly impossible to read and keep up with... it's just a feeling of having 1 comment (or none) on your picture or question and there are 6 posts to XYZ's picture.

      I just hope people are more aware and more open. I know in my heart nobody WANTS the forum to feel this way, and that it's unintentional. I just hope by saying something, people will be a little more aware.

      you guys are all the best.
       
    7. Thanks for bringing it up Sher. It's always helpful to be reminded of things like this ;)
       
    8. i have felt sometimes it does get that way. joining in can sometimes seem a little daunting because of it.
       
    9. I'm one of those normally happy-go-lucky types (ever the eternal optimist) who tends to jump in with both feet and happily posts and answers posts whenever I have the time to do so. So thanks so much for the heads up reminder, Sher. I will endeavor to keep an eye out for those who might feel forgotten and make an extra effort. I'd truly hate for anyone to feel badly in something so wonderful as a tiny thread I take part in!
       
    10. i usually have this problem in the mini forum... never really noticed it here in the tiny forum... but i tend to lurk more here. either way, this is a problem that should be addressed in all the sections in my opnion. thank you for mentioning it as i feel it is important to note these things. doesnt matter if your new, old, collect bobobie or volks. everyone should be treated the same way.
       
    11. I agree with this! I have had experiences such as Sher is outlining, but it was in the mini forums. It would be a great idea to post this in every section. I think Sher expressed the issue nicely, and with sympathy and I am sure it will get us all thinking about this.
       
    12. I'm really glad this was addressed. I've seen it quite frequently in a couple of the threads I'm most active in. I think it can be really discouraging for new owners (or more seasoned) to have pictures or posts of their new doll ignored. Thanks Sher!
       
    13. Yep, me too. I have a newish mini doll and although the company is quite popular, the particular doll I have is not, so no one answers my questions. It's ok, though, I can deal.

      I also think that this happens all over the forum. On threads for more obscure tiny dolls, there aren't that many members who post there at all, so if a few go missing for a while, a couple of people may just chat together a bit about their dolls until someone else turns up. I would hope that anyone new would not be afraid to jump in and post.
       
    14. ^^ Yeah like who on earth but me has a PpoPpo right? For a while there was a thread about the more "unpopular" tinies but it died.
       
    15. I have experienced this, to quote another person, "unpleasant experience" on a couple of the more popular threads for certain dolls. On one I kept trying to be acknowledged for a few months before I gave up.. It really felt odd to be totally ignored by these groups, it seemed as if they were purposely ignoring me. :...(
       
    16. I just wanted to bump this up because it was starting to go down the page a bit.

      I don't think anyone intentionally ignores others. I hate to say it, but I have seen even some people that have posted on this thread who have ignored others, but I am sure they didn't do it on purpose. I know personally, I don't have the time to be on DoA as much as others and I rarely get time to post pictures. I don't always get to comment on pictures, but I do try. Sometimes, though I only have a second to post or skim the threads. There have been some people that have completely ignored the pictures I've posted both here and in the Mini section so I have to say I have stopped commenting on theirs. It frees a little time up to comment on others.

      As far as ignoring questions, I answer questions when I know the answer. If I don't know the answer, I'll leave it for someone who does know.

      littlegreycoconut, I have to agree. The Pukipuki thread is one of the friendliest I've had the pleasure to be on.
       
    17. I don't think people ignore posts intentionally either. I go through periods of time where I am online here a lot and post often, here and there, but then I take a break and do other things. I would not intentionally hurt anyone. I post photos when I have something new to share, but don't expect everyone who subscribes to the thread to post something in reply. I take about a million bad blurry photos for every one that turns out ok, so I don't post photos very often.
       
    18. In all honesty, I actually STOPPED posting because I simply cannot keep up anymore...I can't single out users anymore and I feel horrible about that :(
       
    19. I also felt this way before, having posts being completly ignored. I usually brush it off , this is a huge forum and well you can't comment on every single thread there is or every single post. It's just not humanly possible.

      it's also easier to reply on a post your friends made... it's just basic human nature. And well also this being human nature some people are attention lovers... they just want to have people look at them, look at their dolls. demand comments... etc etc... it's not bad and I am not pointing any fingers but it does happen and they do take the place of people who might be more shy. Like I said human nature, not judging anyone and I am hoping no one is offended.

      Also when I comment, I usually don;t want to repeat what every single person in the last ten entries have said. Just saying: Oh your doll is adorable... it's nice but really is it necessary if 20 or so people already posted that opinion. I'd rather bring something new to the equation.

      Also sometimes, I don't comment on posts because of various reasons. Most of the time I try to be good on everyone's feeling and I would rather not comment if my comment isn't very positive. I dont want to offend or make someone feel bad. Sometimes saying nothing is better than saying something you might regret.
       
    20. Me too! It's so hard to keep up and totally impossible to comment on every post.