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Advice on stolen doll

Aug 17, 2015

    1. No names or places will be mentioned until I have a better handle on what I want to do.

      I had a best friend of many years who had no dolls, and I had three, so I offered to let him borrow one of mine to enjoy with the express caveat that I could ask for the doll back whenever I wanted. It was my very first doll, a Luts EL, that I saved and saved to get. I told him it was unlikely I'd ask for the doll back anytime soon, as I loved this friend and wanted to be kind. He had my doll about 4 years before our friendship took a NOSEDIVE. He now hates my guts. Oh well.

      He claims the doll was an outright GIFT, not a loan, and refuses to return it. I'm in Canada and this person is in the US. I looked into legal action and because the entire lending of the doll was based in a verbal setting and some of Facebook messenger, and the FB convo may not have any of the verbal things written where I said the doll was ON LOAN, I was advised my chances of winning the doll back would be 50/50 and the cost of court would be more than the cost of the doll. In short, I have no legal proof I didn't outright give him the doll, which clouds the issue, and the cost could be prohibitive.

      Anyone who recognizes any of this story and thinks they know who it is, PLEASE DO NOT GET INVOLVED OR SAY ANYTHING. Seriously. This is only for advice.

      He's attacked me verbally and through Facebook quite a bit in the past and tried to ruin friendships of mine and damage my reputation, as well as screw with a project of mine, by telling my immediate boss and anyone else who would listen, lies about me. In short, he's made trouble before and would gladly make trouble for me again.

      The advice I need here is this. I don't think I can get the doll back, really. I've given up on that. However, the idea that he gets to go to doll meets with my doll and act like it was his doll all along and that I'm happy he has it, and him getting to be admired for such a nice doll and to have fun with my doll irks me. Do I risk his wrath and attempts to further attack me if I call him out by name, in the interest of fairness to me and my poor, beloved doll, or do I block him on Facebook, forget about him and my doll, and just move on?

      What would you do in my situation? How would you feel about an ex-friend being able to run around with your doll as if it was theirs and refusing to give it back?
       
      #1 Bishounen_Hideto, Aug 17, 2015
    2. Oh sweetie that's awful! Personally if I was in your shoes I would go hell for leather until I got my doll back! Do you think some sort of professional letter from a solicitor might just scare him enough into giving the doll back? With regards to calling him out, i'd do it, if he hates you already what have you got to lose? I hope you get it sorted soon. x
       
      #2 Avelene, Aug 17, 2015
    3. Personally, I'd go after him until he grew tired of me and finally gave my doll back. And I'd totally call him out and tell people about his shitty behaviour.
       
      #3 Khell, Aug 17, 2015
    4. It's very hard when a friendship sours like this. Logically though i think you'll get more grief by pursuing this person. You bought the doll years ago, and didn't mind him having it for 4 years. It's not like it is your absolute favourite that you loaned out for a few days or a specific purpose. Yes, it is still yours, legally (if you can prove it) and morally (he knows it's yours), but becoming bitter that he gets to enjoy it (at your expense) will only become a burden for you and spoil your outlook on life.
      If this person is a trouble maker, cut your losses and get away from them before they make your life hell and you still don't get the doll back. It's hard to prove he stole the doll as you gave it to him (conditionally of course) in the first place, and you have nothing in writing. Try to accept that it's gone, that a life lesson was learned and this jerk didn't cost you more.
       
      #4 kez, Aug 17, 2015
    5. I don't have any sage advice, but wow, how awful for you! I have all the sympathy in the world for you. That is really a vile thing your ex- friend has done. I would be so miserable if someone stole one of my dolls. Just really think it out before you decide on a course of action.
       
      #5 rosalynmouse, Aug 17, 2015
    6. This sounds terrible because of the unexpected and horrible turn of events in your friendship with him :( Sorry about that!

      I guess the only thing you should be thinking of now is, if the doll were to come back to you, how would you feel towards it? I am a very sentimental person (did I word that right? xD) and it affects how I feel about certain objects and gifts I have lying around. I guess what I'm trying to say is, wouldn't the doll bring back bad memories or bitterness if it was in your possession again? If I were in your shoes, considering how that friend completely and utterly disrespected and hurt me, I sure as hell would not feel the same ever again about the doll, as it would remind me of said person, and I would not be happy that the doll was handled by someone like them. Not saying you SHOULD feel that way, but I'm trying to give an example based on how I react on situations like this. Makes sense?

      If the answer is no, then by all means, fight for the doll to the bitter end. That is what I would also do if I was still attached to the doll. I wouldn't give up on it if it meant a lot to me, and for that I think the previous replies sum up what you should do pretty well! Just like Avelene said, I think scaring him a little should do the trick. I'm not familiar with how the US legal system works, so I can't give you solid advice, but I wish you the very best of luck :)
       
      #6 Chamillia, Aug 17, 2015
    7. I would frekin punch dat bish, if i was near him that is. In all seriousness though, i think his actions are disqusting, I get that if you fell out he wouldn't want to give the doll back. Though ruining projects and spreading false rumors to your friends and even boss? Thats getting out of hand. Personally i think you should try and get in touch and confront him about why he's being this bad (maybe with a few friends as backup). Unfortunately, from the way you described your story, i think the chances of getting your doll back are slim, but he really does need to be put in his place.
       
      #7 thekpopwolf, Aug 17, 2015
    8. This type of thread is about personal matters, and is not really appropriate for Den of Angels. As such, I am going to lock this thread.
       
      #8 AirimirOfGondor, Aug 17, 2015