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Anybody NOT want to go to a meet? (Social aspects of the hobby)

Jul 6, 2011

    1. I've never been to a doll meet. My free time is very, very limited, and I have other hobbies and interests that are more important to me than the dolls. So when I do have time off, I prefer to spend it with family and dear friends, or pursuing my other hobbies (sports, mostly). That's why I'm glad that there is an online community where I can look at photos and swap a message or two--it's like one giant meetup, only I can pop in during my coffee break and then go back to work :)
       
    2. Or do you prefer to keep more to yourself and enjoy your dolls without company? Is it due to shyness or feeling as though you don't feel fully apart of the group, or is it due to your overall personality in all facets of life?

      I'm an introvert so it isn't in my nature to socialize all that much. There is a bit of shyness (I feel awkward meeting people for the first time) but mostly I haven't felt much drive to find a meet near me. Just lurking on the internet and tossing in my 2 cents is enough for me at the moment. ^^;

      I may try and find a Seattle meet after the move though, since it seems worth doing once even if I do decide it's ultimately not for me. :)
       
    3. I'm pretty shy (not that you'd know when you meet me because I can put a good face on it). :D
      Been to one meet and I loved it (hello Newcastle people if you're reading!), great people, a nice sized gathering and I loved seeing other peoples dolls. The internet is awesome but it really is nice to be able to talk about dolls face to face with other 'doll people'. Plus the potential to do photoshoots together. I've not got anyone who'll act as my 'spotter' on photoshoots and I don't feel confident going out on my own. (I tend to step back into ditches/traffic/people trying to get a good shot or put my expensive camera down to faff with my doll).
      Still, I havent been to any others because of other commitments/illness/real life crap but I can see myself really getting into the social aspect of this hobby.

      I'm moving soon and hoping to get more active in the doll scene again so hopefully I'll find a good doll scene where I'm going.
      Yeah, I could totally enjoy the bjd hobby alone but I do appreciate doll meets. Partly to see the dolls and partly to meet new people. Of course I'm scared of not being liked, not measuring up or not fitting in but I know I'd never discriminate against anyone going to a meet and I'd like to think most people are cool.
      Most of my offline friends don't really get my dolls, which is fine but sometimes it's nice to gush over resin with people who share your enthusiasm!
       
    4. I've only been to one meet and it was very fun, however I just don't like bringing my dolls in public with me. I would much rather go somewhere private then to go to a public place with my BJDs. I don't know if it's a combination of embarrassment, anxiety about society, or that I just don't enjoy bringing my dolls places. I am usually not one to care what people think, but society says that men playing with dolls is weird. So I feel like when I do have a doll with me, me being a guy, can be perceived as weird. Though I don't really think that this bothers me too much, at least not outwardly. When I went to my first meet I just didn't want to take out my doll. Perhaps I should think about BJD size as well. I brought my MSD girl and she felt a little big (for me) to carry around. Though I have no problem carrying my SD boy around the house. Maybe I should think about getting a Yo-SD, that might feel more comfortable to me. Hmm...I should explore this! Maybe I'm just lazy and don't want to carry things around. :p

      Oh and I'd like to add that I'm a very social person. I love meeting new people and going to social situations.
       
    5. I have no desire to go to meets. While I might like to see other people's dolls, I don't always want to see other people! And while the vast majority of "dolly" people are lovely, when they're crazy/nasty/rude, they do it with a vengeance!
       
    6. I like meets and enjoy going to the ones I've gone to, and I'm not the most social person. Yet getting to see other dolls in person, and talking about dolls with like minded persons is always fun. Personally, I don't care rather or not we have anything else in common since I went for the doll aspect. Making new friends is great, and if I do so, then awesome, but that's not why I'm there. I'm there to see and talk doll, everything else is just extra.
       
    7. I don't mind going to meets it's just that I don't enjoy going somewhere I am not familiar with the area. Meeting new people is fine with me. I attended the BJDC 2010 in Austin and met lots of new people all at once. Very fun even if not all the people were nice. People will behave badly whether they are doll collectors or not. But mostly I find that if you just stick with sharing the dolls you are fine.

      I love this hobby and have made a few good friends and I wished more of them lived nearby so I could attend meetups with them. But I do know several very nice BJD collectors who attend one of the MD meetups and I do enjoy being around them.
       
    8. I think I'd resort to being one of the "observers" with a death grip on my own doll. ^^" Come to think of it, a larger group might be better for that sort of thing so that I'm not seen as the only person sitting there in a corner and not talking. I think that traces back to my middle school days at this tiny Christian "academy" with hardly a dozen other people in my grade. The result of that situation was one huge clique of which I was not a part of; since then I've liked larger environments where all eyes are not on me and there are plenty of kinds of people to talk to.
       
    9. I post on an infrequent basis but I also don't enjoy posting photos of my dolls online - or meeting people. I'm not afraid of meeting people - I just prefer to be alone. :)
       
    10. I have found that doll people, like dog people, are great people to be around. If they can like a doll so much that they want to share it, then they are people I want to hang out with.

      I take a little while to get names and faces together. I have always been that way. Then adding in a Forum Name... well... sometimes I'm quite stupid getting introductions down. Most are very forgiving about this problem I have. But the dolls, like dogs, those I don't forget.

      The group I hang out with is New England Resin Doll Society, NERDollS.com. Obviously they don't take themselves too seriously. There are owners of really expensive dolls, and owners of inexpensive dolls, and everything inbetween, and no one judges. Since I cannot cook, when we have a potluck they are nice about what I can bring or do for the group instead of supplying food.

      All in all I think that having the ability to meet-up has enhanced my enjoyment of the hobby. While I still very much enjoy the solitary parts with the dolls, like making clothing, restringing, photo shoots, and simply having them sit in the same room with me.
       
    11. Basically just because another person is into the same hobby as you doesnt mean youll be friends for life. You may make a great friend at a meet up but you might also feel disappointed to find that morons are everywhere! ;)

      I loved going to a meet up to see other peoples dolls, but they obviously come with owners attached I have to deal with. I have health problems, I get stressed out too much...If there was a just a table of dolls to go see I would be there! (Its OK I know Im a sociopath, but I do like chatting through DOA, non face to face sharing in the hobby).
       

    12. WELL SAID! I have to agree 150% on that. I frankly would not like to go to a meet because I find it weird when people play "as" their dolls. It weirds me out. I tr to keep my dolls as a private hobby, shared among a small bits of friends.
       
    13. I host Meets at my house sometimes, so I suppose there are about 6-8 of us...I LOVE hosting them and we have good chats and nibbles and stuff, so the day goes very quickly.
      I sometimes go to the larger London Meets too, but these can be a little big for me, as I'm not great with names, and it's only afterwards when you can put faces to screen names so to speak, that it makes more sense.I suppose I'm not so great in larger groups.
      I also love our yearly ball ( doll meets) that we have, as there are competitions and it's great fun.
      I suppose I'm really lucky because I have a handful of good friends I've made from this hobby, and about three or four of them live close, and we always chat online too....
       
    14. I'm one of those people who lives three or more hours away from the closest doll community, so I wish I could go to doll meets!

      I've been to a couple before at a con while I was in college, but now that I'm graduated that's probably not going to happen anymore ; ; But I had fun at those two meets, and it is neat for me to see all the random sculpts in real life. I'm pretty sociable so it's not hard for me to get over the awkward beginning hoop. And I haven't personally encountered any drama (online or otherwise) that would put me off of a particular meet group (though a friend of mine has, so I understand that aspect).

      I love living in a little mountain town, but the lack of easily accessible meets is one downside, heh. It's what I get for being three hours from the nearest big city I suppose XD
       
    15. I've only been to one meet. It was just after I had learned about bjds, I only had my first doll (who I would later sell) she was a tiny, she only had one outfit, her defalt wig, and my crummy faceup, I was having a lot of problems with her and wasn't even sure if this was the hobby for me.
      There was only four people at the meet, two who were really into the hobby and one who like myself was just getting started. they were all very nice, so I'm sure it was 90% in my head, but I felt very out of place and I'm sure they thought I was very awkward as well.
      In hindsight I think it would have been much better to start with a larger meet so that we could have sort of split into natural groups.
      I was a little hesitant to try again, then life got busy, so I haven't been to another one yet. I have just started looking out for ones in my area again.

      I'm a really shy and sometimes awkward person. I also know that I tend to put unrealistic expectations on new realationships (I want friends and I want them now!), but most of my friends from highschool have moved away and I don't really have any from college or my job so I think it's important for me to at least try.
      It's true that there is no garentee that you will have any more than bjds in common with the other people at meets, but hey that's at least one thing in common.
       
    16. I will say you won't know until you give it a try. :) And I will also say that not everyone was like that, thank goodness. There were one or two that were incredibly nice and really talked to me about the hobby. They got me really excited and they’re the reason I own my own children. The rest just seemed... I don't know if I can explain it well without 'foot in mouth' syndrome I'm prone to. Like they didn't really care if I was interested or not and came off quite snooty. And I did want to talk to them! In fact I would even stop other people at the cons and say what a beautiful girl or boy and how did you come to adopt him/her and they’d stare at me like I had a second head. I said s/he’s very lovely! I'd get the ‘look’ like I was a weirdo (which I get a lot, sadly) and they’d walk on without answering me. It really hurts me to be snubbed and I'd often asked my friend what I did wrong and she'd just shrug and say 'they get that way. Don’t let it get to you.' I get snubbed one too many times, I simply give up. I’ll cry outside of work at times depending on how badly I was shot down and it enrages me when I'm at work and customers want help, but view themselves as above me, lowly service associate that I am, and refuse to engage in basic conversation such as ‘Hi! How are you doing today?’ grawgh! It's part of the people hate I have. I'll try again later, as I rarely give up but maybe at a bigger con with more people. I might meet my Canadian friend so we’re at least together, but as of right now, it's a bad taste in my mouth and I'll stick to my local art community were it's not odd to randomly stop a person and make a compliment and have a decent conversation with a total stranger. :)

      The only issue I've had with age wasn't even part of the BJD community :) They're quite accepting of age as we come from all walks of life! They'll take you seriously, and I'm absolutely certain you'll find someone within that meet that's pretty awesome! *hugs* And don't let them get to you if they ARE rude. I had to dust myself off and try again, and that's a huge deal to a very shy introverted person to do. Some people are socially inept in other ways, I've discovered, and now I don't take it so hard. I simply enjoy looking at a distance anymore. :) The fears WILL be unfounded and you'll do wonderfully!
       
    17. I used to like doll meets... but I don't really like them much anymore. I'm not at all like the people who talk the most, and I've tried to makes friends with the other quieter people but it seems so flat and forced.

      I don't actually like talking about dolls all that much either because it all inevitably becomes about "I spent XXX on them, I'm crazy! *which is actually a cover up for boasting about price*" and "I was so lucky to get this by X-famous-company, it was limited to 10 worldwide!" which is all well and good but it is all at worst pretty arrogant or prideful sounding and at best a total yawner. Its not to say that everyone I've met at meets is like this, but the most vocal people are and its a total snore. TBH most people only want to talk about their own dolls, myself included, which just doesn't really make for very interesting conversation because it's always inevitably one sided and there's a constant tug of war in conversation where it distinctly feels like the other person does not care what you're saying but is rather simply waiting til you're done so they can talk about their stuff again.

      Doll meets become much more fun when they are not about the dolls but about doing something with dolls tagging along. I love those meets that are about wandering around the mall and bookstores and such, but those have to be small groups usually...

      but in the end, I realized I enjoy my dolls more when they are solely for me and I'm not trying to impress anyone else. I can dress them how I want and do what I want with their hair and eyes without worrying about whether so-and-so thinks I'm copying someone or whether it looks too lame. I don't even post any pics here anymore.. I just don't care about what strangers think of my dolls. I've never been burned, but I was thinking about the wrong things.
       
    18. I long to meet other doll people in my area (there's really not many). I went to one doll meet. I am glad I went, but, if another one came up I don't know if I would go. I'm creepy and awkward and I think I am hard to relate to for even other doll people.
       
    19. I, myself, don't host but like attending doll meets around my area. C : Sometimes I'm "lazy" and I decide to not go (it doesn't bother me too much when I don't go either). Usually, I'm a shy person when I'm in big groups with people I don't really have the same interests with. There is a part of me that I also enjoy taking photos own my own privately, butttt....

      At doll meets I like to see other dolls aside from mine, take photos, try out other wigs/clothes that others might bring to share. I'm just saying from my point of view but the BJD community around my area isn't overly massive and there are the "regulars" that go. So there are quite familiar faces and most of us are pretty much friends.... actually! We usually have meets in "private-yish" places as well (people's houses, rented out cafe rooms/etc.).

      We don't just talk about dolls, either, actually. Other stuff too--which is nice! It's more like a big family for me, I'd say. A lot of us are pretty weird people as well (lots of innuendos going around, too, lol). If the meets I went to were more bigger and had a lot of unfamiliar faces that I'd see, then that'd change everything for me, I think!
       
    20. I've decided not to attend doll meets in my area for several reasons:
      1) I'm moving soon, so if I did enjoy the meet, it would give me another reason to be depressed about moving.
      2) I currently have an idea of what type of BJD I like. If I saw other types in person, I might find that I'm more versatile in my preferences and end up wanting even more dolls. For instance, I like looking at pics of Soom guys, but I don't think I'd ever want one because they're too masculine. Seeing one in person might change my mind.
      3) I wouldn't want other people handling my dolls, yet I would feel incredibly rude if someone asked to hold one and I refused.
      4) I would be worried that someone would take a picture of a doll and I would be in the background. I try to avoid being photographed, so areas where people are taking a lot of pictures scare me.
      5) My dolls don't have characters, so I think talking to people in person would be awkward if they asked me anything about whichever doll I brought.
      6) I don't like taking my dolls anywhere because I'm paranoid about damage.