Anybody NOT want to go to a meet? (Social aspects of the hobby)

I have been to some doll meet ups were people didn't even talk about dolls. when it gets to that point its just not worth it

 

I don't have a doll yet but I am probably going to attend a meet-up in the next few weeks to see some dolls in person. I have ordered a doll but I don't think that she will be here in time for it.

I confess I am a little worried about judging. I don't know how big a problem this is in meetups but I feel like sometimes if a person has a doll who is "cheap" or really common people take them less seriously.

After months of browsing and weeks of serious research I've purchased a BBB Isabella (27cm). She is super adorable and I'm so excited to get her but I admit I have other, more expensive dolls on my wish list. But for a first doll, I wanted to start slow and see how into actually having a doll, sewing for a doll, photographing a doll etc. I would really be. I didn't want to drop $300 or more on the more expensive dolls before I get a chance to get my feet wet. Also, I really do think that the Isabella doll is precious and a good place to start! But I am nervous about attending a meet with either a) no doll or b) such a small, inexpensive doll. IDK, maybe I am worried over nothing, and I am sure most people are great and don't judge like that, but in a relatively small hobby and one that involves such large investments, it strikes me that some people might find a doll that costs under $100 to be not so serious. And while I am serious, I am obviously still a newbie and I didn't want to blow $400+ on a doll, accessories only to find I overestimated my enthusiasm!

Just my $.02 - I'm still excited to get a chance to talk about BJDs in real life.

 

I'm kinda socially inept. I'm not good at small talk, not in the least. Not even if its about dolls. I'm someone who's really direct and wants to get to know everything about a person. Some people would call me very "forward?"

I haven't been to a meet yet. To be honest, I'm attending my first either next Saturday or the following. I'm hoping one of my more social friends will be there with me XD

 

I've been to lots of meet ups were people had "cheap" or really common dolls, and as for as i could tell every one has been welcome.

 

That is good to know! Honestly, I mean, I assume most doll people are going to know that not EVERY doll someone owns is going to be a limited edition $900+ doll, lol. I guess it's just a nerves thing. I am outgoing and love meeting new people, but there's always that underlying anxiety of "Will I fit in?" whenever I meet new people. I definitely wouldn't let that fear stop me from trying, but if I experienced that (like it seems some people in this thread have), I probably wouldn't go back, or would find another meetup group.

 

As a new member of the forum, one of the first things I did was hit up the meetups area and see if there were any near me. Then when I saw someone from around here I PM'd them and asked about meetups.

Will I actually go to one? Depends on how big it is and where it's held. I have an anxiety disorder, but the best way to treat anxiety from a cognitive behavioral therapy standpoint is exposure to things that make one anxious. I have also had very small meetups with members of other online communities I am a part of. In one case it was a group of people I had gotten to know extremely well, and it was at their home, in another state, during a holiday. In the other case the group of people from online I knew only vaguely, but I brought a good friend and the place was one I'm very comfortable with: a renaissance faire. I have never been to a con, but I could see going to that if I had someone I know fairly well to go with.

I think in this hobby it would be much, much easier to be with unfamiliar people in an unfamiliar place just because you already know that you have at least one thing in common that can supply a great many topics to discuss: the dolls.

 

When I first got into the hobby, I did love going to meetups! Especially since there were so few doll people in my area at the time that it was wonderful to not only meet other enthusiasts in my area, but also to see many other sculpts and doll brands I otherwise wouldn't get to. These days though, I'm not as likely to go to them, mostly because there's many other important things
going on in my life that I don't have the time for dolls nearly as much as I used to. I do tend to have phases where I become a complete hermit for periods of time and that is definitely where I am currently concerning the dolly world! XD;

 

I've never been to a meet-up and I don't think I ever will. My social skills are poor, especially with people who are older than me, and seeing as the vast majority of people in this hobby aren't teenagers... I'm happy with just being a hermit and bringing my dolls to the occasional con.

 

Personally I'm okay with going to a meet up. But my little sister -she has two dolls- is totally against it. She gets the feeling she's too young, but at only 13 I kind of agree. Saying that though most of her friends are older than her, so I don't know whether to bring her or leave her at home.

 

I am a very socially awkward individual as well, so that in itself would put me off a bit. I get together with my other close friends who have bjds, so maybe if they went, I would. Still, I imagine I'd feel quite a bit of anxiety. Having said this, when I've met with people at cons not by organization, but just by all of us carrying around our bjds, it was very comfortable. Much better than talking with people outside of a con, lol, as tends to be the trend with cons. I guess you're with people you already have an interest in common with, and there is something direct to talk about, so it's not as bad as being put in a room with strangers you know absolutely nothing about and are left to compose conversation with, haha!

 

I don't quite go to talk, but I really enjoy listening to others who are very passionate about this hobby. I go for the general good feelings floating and how everyone appreciates everyone and their dolls.
I was just at a meet and it got quiet for a moment and someone said... "We have the best hobby." And it just felt wonderful. Now I'm not a reserved girl or socially awkward, but I still don't find myself speaking at meets, but listening.

 

I'm not really interested. For one thing I'd be worried about someone poking at my doll or stealing my stuff if I brought anything to 'show and tell' about. I also really, really dislike talking to people I don't know. It takes me a while to come out of my shell and get to know and trust other people. And probably my biggest reason for not wanting to hang out with other BJD collectors is the thought that I might be much older than they are. I quit going to anime conventions because they're filled with loud, obnoxious, pushy, rude teenagers and it's my fear that a BJD meet would just be more of the same, except shoving in that situation (should there be such a crowd) could result in a broken doll.

I've been told those types of fears are unfounded, that nobody lets anyone touch their dolls and people are quite and well mannered, but I have nothing to compare a doll meet to other than an anime convention so I don't know. Those concerns are reason enough to make me not want to go to one at all.

 

For me, I live in Canberra, Australia, and there are very few BJD people here. I'm quite shy around strangers and although a cluster of Canberrans are currently trying to organise a meet, I'm daunted by the fact that it seems only five of us will attend it just seems like such an awkward situation, especially considering that I don't know these people at all, how old they are, what they're like...In short, I'd love to go to a meet, but a bigger one, not one with only a couple of people

 

I understand why you'd feel this way. You've had bad experiences in the past, and you're worried about how a meet will be. If I ever decide to go to a meet (because I do want to at some point) I won't take my dolls the first or second time I go. That way, I can get a feel for the atmosphere of the meet, without putting my dolls in any sort of "danger". You can see how members act, how they handle their dolls, and you can see if you think that these people are people you can jive with. If not, you haven't put your dolls at risk, and you never have to see them again.

 

Well I can say I have never been to a meetup. But I probably won't go because I'm very shy and horrible at conversations ^^; plus I did read some threads about dolls getting... stolen at meetups *gulp*

That and because my free time is extremely limited due to college.

 

I don't like meetings much, I've been to a few. Those times I felt pretty much like an outsider and it doesn't help that I'm not a social person at all. My mom and sister collect them too though, so I do have people to talk to about dolls

 

I love going to meets, but that's not to say I haven't had some bad experiences. Unless I'm very familiar with all the attendees, I will no longer bring more than 2 dolls, and no spare accessories. I also make sure to keep an eye on my dolls at all times (or leave them with a specific trusted individual). I've had things vanish at meets. Never a doll, and it's entirely possible that things just got mixed up in the confusion, but I find it easier to keep track of things this way, as well as lets me enjoy the meet without stressing. I've only been to one meet where anyone was rude to me about my doll. I'd just ended up hanging out with another girl who was a bit on the outskirts of the group, and didn't go back to those meets.

Most of the time, I've found people who attend meets are excited and happy to be hanging out with other people who are enthusiastic about dolls and love to see new dolls! It's certainly worth trying with an open mind (and maybe a curious friend for back up!).

 

I never go to meet-ups but I can bring one of my dolls when see friends of mine who r atists, in photography/fashion. I know those ppl, trust them and I know nothing (bad) will happen to a doll. On meet ups, u dunno a bunch of ppl, you have to be careful n not leave ur doll alone, u also have to be nice and say "that's a lovely doll" even if you don't think so, but the owner repeat to ask "isnt she/he just aaadooorable!!!??"

 

Personally, I am, too, socially akward. Because of that I have never had much friends, and I usually tend to end up as outsider in groups. But as silly as it sounds, I like people.

When there is meets not too far from home, I do get there. It's nice to see other people and other dolls, learn new things and possibly find someone as weird as me - hey, why to spoil a chance to meet new friend? But no, I won't go miles and miles just for meets. But when they are around the corner then why not? :3

 

I'm a bit afraid to go, because of the social aspect, and because my dolls are anthro tinies and I'm scared they'll get shunned or picked on. Or sat on by a Bermann.