Anybody NOT want to go to a meet? (Social aspects of the hobby)

Are you one that hits up (or hosts) BJD meets and conventions? What do you think makes this so appealing?
I have not been to a meet or BJD Con yet but I am dying to commune with other collectors and see what other people are into. I am very much concerned that maybe they may not like what I like or what would I have in common with them. That has always been a concern about going to events like that.

I do not want to be there and have to feel the pressure to say something nice about a doll that I really don't care for. I like certain types fo BJDs and some other ones are just totally out of the question for me. I don't too much get into fastasy dolls or dolls that are very anime looking.

It seems there are quite a few meets that take place in my area so i am game to attend one as soon as posible and see how the atmosphere is at one of these events. I am sure i will end up loving it and be hooked!.

 

I haven't been to a lot of meets, but I tend start most meets a little standoffish when I go because I'm socially awkward as all get out, but the only way to suck less at that is to get out of the house and talk to people, right?

Though I'm usually spazzing a bit the night before a meet with all those irrational fears of like dolly theft and stuff and since I haven't been to lots of meets, I usually don't know anyone there so it's all "Ah! What if they don't like me?!"

but yeah... >_>' I guess the only solution to that is to go to more doll meets... because so far I haven't commandeered a friend into becoming a dolly nut like me... well, my boyfriend is a little interested in them from a sculptor's standpoint, but he's not much into collecting them.



The only thing that would stop me from going to a doll meet is that going to doll meets always makes me want to buy so much stuff! xD Since seeing dolls in person is a lot different, I end up wanting more dolls after a meet. ._.

 

I'm actually a meet host here in town most of the time, I love getting together to meet new doll friends and check out all the dolls that show up. I am a doll collector and I am shy but I like throwing events for people and it helps me to not be awkward.

It is difficult to make sure the meet is running smoothly, everyone is arriving, has food, etc, so I do have a hard time socializing at my own meets but I'm working on that, haha. ^^

 

This has been a fantastic thread to read because it has made me feel less self-conscious about my lack of social skills! I find talking to people I don't know really hard and to be totally honest, I don't have any interest in getting out and about and meeting people. I did go to a convention last year because I thought it would be a great opportunity to buy lots of lovely clothes and merchandise. I came away having spent lots of money, but I realised that I had made no effort to engage with the other collectors there, and this really should have been the whole point of going. I felt a bit embarrassed with myself for not making more of an effort, and because of this I would not go to another Con. But hey, I'm comfortable with the person that I am!

 

I like going, to see friends and their dolls, but it's starting to seem like I'm standing out now...I think there might have been 3 pictures total from the last meet of my dolls. Everyone else had plenty of theirs taken. I know I forgot my camera, but if mine are so common, I might as well stop going, or at least stop bringing a doll. I feel left out as I don't talk much, mostly listen. Or what I say doesn't hold much meaning. I'm not close with anyone, never have been, so it's easier for me to sit on the sidelines and watch.

 

Are you one that hits up (or hosts) BJD meets and conventions? What do you think makes this so appealing? Or do you prefer to keep more to yourself and enjoy your dolls without company? Is it due to shyness or feeling as though you don't feel fully apart of the group, or is it due to your overall personality in all facets of life?

I have mixed feelings about the meet thing, honestly. I went to my first one yesterday, and...it wasn't really the best experience. Mostly, I'm socially awkward. Obviously a part of me wants to fix that, because...I went. And I went because I wanted to, not just to support my roommate who was going as well. The thing is, I find it hard to open up and talk to people. It goes beyond a simple social awkwardness, but transverses into an outright phobia.

So, I was taking a huge step in actually venturing out. Normally I'm a little better with "my own kind" (meaning people I already know I share a common interest with) than with strangers who you don't even know that much about. I found it appealing because I'd like to get to know more people IRL in the hobby.

The problem is, everyone knew everyone else there. Or, at least, a few of them did. It was kind of separated into two groups at two different tables, and my roommate and I were ignored by most of the people there. It got a little better towards the end, but it was still one of the more awkward and, honestly, slightly disappointing. It kind of gave me a bad taste for stepping out again. But, I'm going again next weekend already. We'll see how it goes.

I'm still in the middle as far as meeting in person, but I do enjoy the online social aspect of the hobby. It's easier to express myself in writing and always has been.

 

I would love to go to a doll meeting, although I'm very shy. I know that I can be very social with people who have my same interests.
anyway, I'm new in the dolls world and I've never seen another doll (only photos) apart mine, so I'm very curious!

 

Well, I'm not exactly what you would call a social butterfly. But I don't think I would mind going to a smaller doll meet with people I know. Large meets with lots of people probably wouldn't go over well, with my social and anxiety issues.

Of course, I haven't gone to any meets yet, so I don't really know what to expect yet.

 

Meets kind of scare me because I'm socially awkward and because I'd feel a little bit ashamed. xD I've only got one doll and she lives on my shelf for most of the year. I buy her clothes when I can but unfortunately it's a rare occassion. xD I'm managing about one outfit a year at the moment. Plus, I'm horrible about parties even when I know people. The idea of meeting a bunch of people at once makes me super nervous even though I would love to meet some more people who like dolls.

 

This. So this. I am incredibly shy to the point where it is ridiculous. ^^; I am completely awkward and only really socialize with my family/small group of close friends...I'm kind of a hermit haha.

My best friend dragged me to a meet, and, while I had a ton of fun seeing all the dolls, I only chatted briefly with a handful of people. I ended up clinging to my bff, since I really didn't know what else to do. It was kind of sad. ^^;;;;

 

I'm a person who likes to attend meets. I don't really talk to many people about bjds so I think it's nice to have some conversion with people in the hobby face to face (though I am shy at first ^^;; ). I think it's also a good opportunity to see different dolls upclose. I'm a collector who doesn't want to buy many dolls since I'm set on particular looks but so I enjoy seeing other people's dolls.

 

I find this an extremely interesting subject as it is something I struggle with all of the time. It is in my nature to be completely comfortable spending days/weeks holed up in my studio. My dolly time is completely private until the day it is photographed, and then I will post somewhere and talk about it, but behind the keyboard.

I agree local meet ups may be difficult as the newbie. I would rather meet one interesting person at a time or go to a big show without my own collection under my arm.

 

I like to go to meets, but I have trouble finding my local stuff. I get shy around new people, but I still enjoy it. XD;;;

 

I literally live in the middle of nowhere- and therefor haven't been able to ever attend any meets (even tho I've been in the hobby for years now)
But I would probably be rubbish at doll meets tho- I don't like the thought of carrying around my dolls outside the house and I go iiiick by the thought of having strangers handling my dollies.

 

Count me as one of those people who used to attend local meets regularly, but no longer does...

Unlike the apparent majority responding to this thread, I've never been shy, I'm not socially awkward, and I find people in general to be interesting. (My academic background is in Cultural Anthropology. I like "people-watching" enough to have studied it formally! ) But it does seem like the longer I've been involved in the hobby the less interested I am in being social with other collectors.

Most of that I chalk up to generational issues... The demographics of the local group have shifted a lot in the last five years. I'm about the same age as most of the current local groups' parents, and while I've never really had trouble being around people younger than myself, and I certainly don't hold their age against them on principle, I have found that we have almost no common ground beyond the resin. That really limits the topics of conversation past a certain point.

We also seem to have very different standards of public behavior, and that's an even stickier issue. I tend to be pretty reserved in general, and I try to remain aware of the group's potential impact on the non-dolly people around us. Some of the others? ... Not so much. They can get pretty loud and pretty obnoxious at times, and to say it makes me uncomfortable is an understatement. They've managed to embarrass the hell out of me a few times, and that definitely puts a damper on my interest in being around them.

Anyway, my own issues with the locals aside, one thing I do have to say for the group is that I've never known them to be in any way dismissive of people with less expensive dolls, home-made outfits or beginners face-ups. There's just not a lot of "dolly discrimination" going on over here no matter what else happens.

 

I'm similar to Brightfires in that I love people watching. I like the idea of meets because you already have a common interest with everyone there. You don't have to fumble around or try to figure out what their interests are - just walk up and say something along the lines of 'Your dolls have really beautiful clothing, did you make it?' and voilà, instant conversation starter!

I try to attend meet-ups, but most of the local group organizes meet-ups in the city centre which is decently far from where I live. Now that I've moved for school, it's even farther, so my meet-up attendance is very spotty. I don't think I've been to one in over a year.

That being said, I enjoy meeting other doll owners and seeing new sculpts and sizes in person, and nearly everyone in my local group is fabulous. However, there is a core group of (perfectly lovely) people who have known each other for years and are really good friends outside of the hobby and I find trying to interact with them at meets a little bit discouraging, so I try to attend the larger meets that have more people outside of this group attending so that I'm not sitting all alone the whole time.

This is part of the reason I don't try harder to attend area meets (in addition to travel costs), but I'm also finding - at least with this group - that even the people who want to interact with others tend to shy away from company, so it's becoming less and less worth it for me to attend meets.

I plan on going to Doll North and I'm hoping I can meet a few people there, but if not, it's part of a much larger con, so I can wander off or come back and visit whenever I want. It's a little bit more difficult than trying to do the same when you're at someone's house or a special 'meet-up location'.

We'll see how Doll North goes, but I would like to attend at least one more meet, just to see whether or not I should spend a bit more time trying to get to them.

 

Or do you prefer to keep more to yourself and enjoy your dolls without company? Is it due to shyness or feeling as though you don't feel fully apart of the group, or is it due to your overall personality in all facets of life?
It's not that I want to keep my dolls to myself. I enjoy posting pictures and asking for critique I just can't handle large groups of people especially ones where I don't know anyone. It's much easier for me to just express myself online so that's what I choose to do. I don't like feeling anxious and I'm just more comfortable this way.

 

There have been more and more meetups in my country, even in the city I live in. But other than the owner of the doll shop I buy stuff from sometimes, I haven't met any doll person irl. I rather enjoy the dolls by myself.
When I have questions or want to talk I rather post here than go to a meetup. I'm not shy but I want to keep my dolls safe. Not that I think of everyone as a thief but I'm afraid of damage nontheless. I have to trust somebody to give her/him my dolls and since I could imagine my dolls being grabbed out of exitement, I rather keep them here.
If I ever become friends with someone and and/she already owns dolls, that would be something else. ^^

 

That's how I feel and being African American won't help much. While I can function very well in a crowd, it's not something I really enjoy doing and being so much older then everyone else makes things awkward.

 

>.< ive tried to attend meets but im a shy person and when i check meet threads i see that everyone seems to know everyone and im just like er..hmm hi? and also sometimes i feel that if i do go to a meet ill do something dumb and mess up or since i pretty new to the hobby ill just seem like a noob.