Anybody NOT want to go to a meet? (Social aspects of the hobby)

I've hosted one meet before and gone to a few but I doubt I'll go again. I keep my doll hobby very private, and going out in public with my dolls makes me very uncomfortable. I'm glad other people can do it, but I just can't! Also, I feel somewhat different from the others in meets as we don't share many other interests aside from dolls. Don't get me wrong! They are absolutely lovely people I just find it hard to connect sometimes.

Actually, this disconnect caused a lot of problems for me because I felt like I should be more involved in the community but I just... didn't want to. Then I felt like I was "doing the hobby wrong" and felt I should quit. Which I did... Except I'm back.

Truthfully though, I think it's because I just don't do well in big groups. It's easier for me to fade into the background than when I'm in a small group.

 

Well I don't drive and seeing as the person who kinda got me into the hobby told me they don't want to be my friend anymore...I just don't go to meets I feel awkward and I already am shy and kinda afraid of people I don't really know that well or trust not that people at meets are its just a personal issue. I have been to meets and enjoy them...if I could drive I might try to attend more but since i don't really have any people I am close to anymore I just stay home and enjoy them myself.

 

Well, I have NO problems meeting people - I'm a member of several fan/interest clubs & go to SF/Fantasy conventions as much as possible (Dragon Con EVERY year). I am so looking forward to my first (other than at the con) dollie meet as I love seeing other peoples' stuff & want to show my boys (& get help w/one of them).
That said, I doubt I will expend much energy trying to go to a BJD convention. Partly because all of them are far away, but partly because its too specialized for me. In other words, I'm mainly a cosplay/SF/anime fangirl who came to BJDs that way. I'm satisfied going to an anime or SF convention where I know there's a dollie meet & maybe a panel.
I am trying to drum up interest in a BJD meetup here in my little corner of the world, but its thru our Multiverse group - which is a definite SF/cosplay/comic/anime/fan group of people. Some costumers I know, & an anime artist, are interested already.
As you might guess, I like going out & meeting people LOL
AND I expect I AM the oldest in any such group (although I have been surprised...) although I never look it ~HA~

 

In my case I've attended to several meetings and the result is that I've learned I don't like them, lately due the situation of the hobby in Spain it has degenerated to a point I cannot understand or even worse, stand. No, I've becomen totally independent in my own way and I think I've never enjoyed the hobby more than I'm doing now.

I don't mind hanging out with friends and some of them I've met them in these meetings as a result of being a sociable woman, but I don't really enjoy having to go and come with my dolls, although I don't mind being from time to time with a doll friend or two with our dolls. Also, I have to say there are people I highly respect and admire in my city, but I don't have a real relationship with them. I don't like crowds or have anything in common with most of these people, so why should I go?

I've never publicized my dolls very much even in forums and lucky me, the meetings in my city have been always relatively small but it's impressive how people can control a doll and its evolution. You know what comes after this and usually is not good at all. It amazes me even more because I hardly remember some dolls and never whose doll is whose. In conclusion, I like my dolls as a private hobby and it doesn't hurt absolutely anybody.

 

I am of two minds about doll meets. I really don't feel like I fit in when I go. I don't know anyone...or their dolls. I actually feel awkward when the only topic of conversation is dolls. I just don't keep up with the latest BJD news. Besides, my dolls are always the most crappily dressed, have the worst faceups, etc. Yet I still want to go, even though my poor social skills hold me back.

 

I tend to mix around with friends who doesn't own a doll than one who does.
I have a few friends that are into photography or at least,they are interested in and we meet up often.Sometimes I just bring my doll or they will come to my house to check on them .And a meet up doesn't necessary means that there will be a photo session ^^""
But we do arrange to meet up and hunt for suitable locations for a doll photo shooting .
Those are my closer friends...I confess that I am sometimes social awkward(~_~") but I still attend one if I am invited.I do feel that my boys might be kinda off the crew for the meet @_@"I prefer casual dressing while most of the owners I've met so far tend to dress their boys in suits.

 

Lol, random but I don't fit in at all in my uni here and I totally have no friends here *shot* So you're not the only 'quirky' /kind of socially awkward person =v=)b

As for doll meets...I'd actually really like it if I could attend one? Like, I'd really really like to be in a place where people will understand this hobby and I will be able to talk about something else than just 'relationships' and 'gossips' and make friends with people who may have more of the same interests (like anime and manga) as me. But that's kind of impossible, as I live in a country that...very very very few people know of BJD? Like 3 (including me) that I know of? Hahahah! Yea, I'd need to get airplane tickets to be able to attend even a simple anime convention ;u;
That's probably because I am pretty much a lonely person (*laughs*) as I haven't found people here or in senior high that I could share my hobbies/interests with and I'd like to be more social than not if possible <:

 

I thought this was a very interesting thread , so I thought I would try to revive it.

I was terribly shy and socially awkward in my teens and twenties... (I pretty much literally would not speak to anyone male for instance). Over the years I became a lot more comfortable in groups of people. I enjoy doll meets, I think I went to two or three of them before I even had a BJD. I admit that I don't exactly fit in, as I am in my fifties, and most of the people in my doll group are less than half my age... but I like them a lot. The Indianapolis area BJD collectors I have encountered have been very nice, intelligent, enthusiatic people. I have had universally positive experiences at doll meets. I have sensed no elitism concerning the more expensive dolls, or full sets. People have all kinds of different BJDs, and it is marvelous to see them in person. I at first liked the SD13s mostly, but upon seeing other peoples dolls, particularly the tiny little anthros like Pipos Cheshire Cats, well, I fell in love with them, and now own two. Every one present at the meets has been kind, and welcoming. I have been to a meet where the oldest person attending was in her 70s and the youngest was in her early teens, and brought her mom.

They have been very helpful, teaching me to do re-stringing for instance. I am a skilled seamstress, and I am hoping to hold a meet, or a series of them, and offer basic pattern making and doll clothes sewing classes.

 

I'm generally a shy person and it takes me a while to warm up to people, but I attended a few meets when I first got into BJDs. They were fun and the people were SUPER nice, but I always felt awkward, which made it difficult to really enjoy myself. I fell out of the hobby for a few years and now I'm not sure that the old group still gets together anymore.

I did find that my local meetups were much better than the anime convention meet in the area, though. The local meetups were in a food court, so everyone would set up their dolls and then mill around the 1-2 tables we took up to chat and see other people's stuff. It was conducive to talking with a lot of people, which was nice. At the anime con meet, everyone just sat on the floor in small circles of their friends, so it was hard to insert myself into anything. The couple of people I politely complimented (who I was actually really excited to meet, since I followed their photostories & such) were really rude, so I ended up leaving to enjoy the rest of the con after ~10 minutes.

If anyone's on the fence about attending a meet, I'd recommend checking the galleries to try to get a feel for the meet. I'd be iffy about a meet in someone's house, but I'd probably go to another public place meet in the future.

 

I used to host meets in my area years ago but I do enjoy playing with my dolls at home alone or with my bestie the most. I started skipping meets when my dog was sick and when I came back much later... Let's just say the group had split in two over personal drama and rather than bounce back and forth I just stopped going. I also don't share my dolls online that often due to a mix of possessiveness and laziness. My desire to be social ebbs and flows, I just roll with it! XD

 

Are you one that hits up (or hosts) BJD meets and conventions? What do you think makes this so appealing? Or: Or do you prefer to keep more to yourself and enjoy your dolls without company? Is it due to shyness or feeling as though you don't feel fully apart of the group, or is it due to your overall personality in all facets of life?
I have asperger's and I have social phobia. Going to a meet / convention is a huge deal for me. I do plan to go to a meet one day though. But only if my dolly friend comes with me. I have gone to other meets before, but meeting new people continues to be a challenge for me.

 

I'm just gonna throw my 2 cents out there, I don't like to attend doll meet simply cause I don't like being in a small room with more than 10 people. It's tiring for me. Also the tendency to compliment each other. Sometimes you have to compliment other people. That's hard.

 

I have severe social anxiety. Have only two friends I hang out with but lately they've ignored me. I feel so lonely at times but even though I want to stay by myself and not meet others. I do want to go to a few meet ups. Maybe hopefully soon.

 

I'm more comfortable in online settings, even Youtube. I'm just pretty shy overall, with some anxiety thrown in. But I'm trying to make it to more meets and get to know people in my area. I think there's a certain connectivity you get with people irl that can't quite be replicated online. Plus the people in my area seem pretty rad.

 

I haven't had any urges or thoughts about going to one. It's not a highlight of the hobby for me, BUT, I'm still new, so that could change.

 

Oh dear, age is not important when it comes to dolls. I have been organising meets this past year and found them to be great fun. I must admit I felt a little unsure at first (I doubt if there are many who don't feel that way initially), because I really was the oldest there at 60+ and didn't know whether I'd be accepted by all the "youngsters". To my surprise there were females of all ages and now we have both genders attending.

I think we all enjoy seeing the wide array of dolls that each of us bring, and it also gives newbies and those yet to purchase a doll, an opportunity to see dolls IRL before making a purchase.

There is no lack of conversation, it runs the gauntlet...everything from dolls, sewing, knitting, crochet, face ups, blushing & photography, to what music we listen to, what we did on holidays and what we are planning for dinner that evening! Those that sew/knit/crochet are quite happy to give tips, as those who do their own face up & blushing are.

Although most of the time I am happy to do my own thing at home, I have found myself looking forward to going to the meets now, I really enjoy catching up with those who were once daunting strangers!

When next you feel anxious about going to a meet remember this:
A fear of "not belonging" is quite central to a lot of what makes most people uncomfortable ... the first step is always the hardest, but the rewards are the greatest!

 

My advice to anyone worried about fitting in at a meet would be to attend open-minded, and don't assume that just because you arn't dragged into conversation upon arrival that you're intentionally being left out. I hear complaints about this so often. @_@; Meets I've been to have been a mix of social frenzy with moments of unintentional disconnect. There are so many different types of collectors out there, and we all have come to love BJDs for different reasons. Just because we have a common interest in jointed resin dolls doesn't mean that our tastes in aesthetic, our way of collecting, or even our personal reason for attending meets match up perfectly. I'm moderately extroverted but even I sometimes find people are difficult to converse with when I discover their interests in BJDs differ greatly from my own. Which, there is nothing wrong with that, really.

I do recall a time I tried reaching out to a wallflower newbie and had a hard time coming up with something we could both talk about. My intentions were pure, but she was oddly insistent on not socializing with anyone even though she was at a meet. XD; I realize she must've been incredibly shy and I probably intimidated her. Since then I have been more careful about how I approach shy people. I don't want to push anyone too forcefully, so if I'm not met with some effort on their part, I back off because wonder if I'm smothering them. D: I really do try to be inclusive of everyone.

It is not just shy, anxious, and anti-social people who have a hard time with conversation.

 

I don't know if I would ever go to a meet. I've been to conventions for my other hobbies, but that's a very different setting, especially because I usually go for panels and shopping... I'm sure I would admire dolls just as I do people, but I just don't know.

I think online is fine for now... maybe I might venture out eventually, but at the moment I feel too new to explore.

 

I have attended some meets here in Italy and I've never feel unaccepted or anything like that, but I think it's because our community is much smaller. We've known each other for years online and conversation is smooth, so I'm always happy to attend.
The first meeting was totally different, since I was much younger and socially awkward, but luckily everything was fantastic.
i'd be curious to attend an international one, to see how people from different country live this hobby, but the language would be sort of a barrier for me (I understand pretty much everything, but speaking is a totally different matter)

 

I'd like to attend a meet as it would be nice to talk about dolls with other people who share the same interest BUT I have crippling social anxiety. I'd be so worried about saying the wrong thing that it would completely ruin any chance of me finding any enjoyment in the experience. The closest I've been to meeting doll related people was when I agreed to help my eldest sister out by escorting her and some other blythe doll enthusiasts around Manchester when they were looking for a suitable venue for a UK Blythe Con. I didn't talk to any of them, which thinking back probably came across rude but I just felt so awkward. So I'll stick to the relative safety and distance of the internet for my doll related interactions :/