Anybody NOT want to go to a meet? (Social aspects of the hobby)

I'm kinda a proactive person when it comes to meets. I don't just go, I host 'em! But sure, there's some days when I just would rather be by myself. I spend so much time alone though, I really look forward to meets.

 

My local doll group hosts meets every few months but I'm always too shy to go. I would love to see other dolls in person and interact with their owners but I don't really know how to start a conversation. I'm very socially awkward lol

 

I was really excited to meet other doll people, so I went to a meetup. I was nervous about whether people would be kind. Unfortunately, people were very elitist and rude there to the point that they made my sister and I cry. I mean, they were extremely cruel, even yelling (not speaking harshly--yelling) at me for what they perceived was an imperfect doll and mocking my sister's taste in color scheme for a doll's outfit. I haven't been to one since.
A friend of mine attended one recently, and she said that they were very kind. I've agreed to a meetup with these particular people in a few months. Hopefully it will be a positive experience, or I'm done with doll meetups permanently.

 

chohakkaikun, that is crazy. I've only been in the hobby since June, but I've been meeting people and going to meet ups at a con for 10 years. I've never met anyone who was mean. Sorry you had such a bad experience.

 

[MENTION=67164]bluepita[/MENTION]
Thanks for the sympathy. I'm glad to hear you've had only good experiences--it makes me less nervous about future ones!

 

I am still pretty new to the BJD hobby. I am an extremely shy person until I get to know someone so I don't know if I would ever go to a doll meet. Honestly, the only way I could see myself going to one is if I were to talk my hubby into going with me so I wouldn't be alone, and he doesn't "get" the BJD hobby- he's very supportive though. I feel I'd bore him to death and really don't want to put him through that LOL!

Also, I fear that I would show up and not have anything in common with anyone besides the fact that I own BJDs. I'm not what I would consider old (I'm 30; soon to be 31) but I still feel like a bit of an outsider in the hobby because I haven't really seen much that I have in common with other collectors on the forums.

 

I think I would enjoy a meet and would go if there was one relatively nearby, but I have some nervous feelings about it too. I go to meets for a different hobby on a pretty regular basis, so I know I like the concept in general, but I've never gone to a doll-specific one and I have (probably irrational) worries of being excluded or looked down on.

 

I used to love the social parts of the hobby. Now? Not so much. My local groups its alright as I know them quite well after so many years. However one aspect I really don't like is the convention meet ups. I'm sorry I used to host these and had loads of fun, but I cannot stand how they are now. While I understand a lot of new owners and just new people interested in them get attracted, I really don't like the high energy (from my experience) most have. I'm paranoid at this point to have my dolls out and don't trust enough to have others moving around in a very public place and risking someone taking a doll or someone getting knocked over and damage done that cannot be repaired. If things were a bit calmer I think I would be okay, but the high energy will discourage me from settling down for the meet up and I'll simply just go to something else.

 

I love doll meets and I would go to more if there were more in my area to attend. Unfortunately, where I live, there are only a few collectors. They've expressed interest in meets, and I've been involved in helping to organize meets, but they always seem to fall through when the time comes. It's very disappointing to me, but I've pretty much given up on having a 'dolly social life' in my area. I attend a nearby doll show each year and I love the big meetup at AnimeNorth each year as well. Sometimes I wish I lived in an area where there were doll-related activities happening.

 

^ Me too! Though there is an annual show, it's been more about shopping. I don't hate that, but I would like to spend more time chatting.

 

I also have anxiety so I know it sucks. I can see why some people cite feeling being ignored or left out as a reason to why they no longer attend meets. I've been to one or two where nobody, or maybe just one person, actually introduced themselves to me and made a little convo with me. As the 'newcomer' to a group in a social situation you would expect some acknowledgement, so it's unfortunate when people don't realise this. I've had one time I tried to join in with a group of people's conversation and introduce myself but they didn't introduce themselves back and carried on without me with their backs turned to me. It's incredibly awkward but I know they're probably just lacking in social skills rather than intentionally ignoring me. The thing to bear in mind is LOTS of doll owners have anxiety or are socially awkward so don't let it get to you. Luckily I have the confidence to talk to people off my own back a bit and I try to hang out with people who look a bit 'lost' because I know it's not nice to be in that position, but I could see why if someone was shy, they could just spend the day sat by themselves feeling left out.

Of course it really depends on the group/people, the meets I've been to have varied wildly. Overall I like going to meets because it's nice to meet new people and see new dolls.