Are dolls childish?

"I like them, they're pretty, I SAVE for them. Now STFU." - I think that would be my attitude.

 

Just ignore them!!!!! I was born once in this life so I'm gonna live the way I want.
If I want a doll ( maybe dolls), I'll get one !!!


But until now I kept this to myself, I didn't tell my family. I don't think they'll understand.

So sad.

 

Yesterday I received my first doll....I am totally in awe how beautiful she is even my friend said she is going to loose her mind and get one.
So you see ....they are worth every bit of other people's negative thinking.
For me..... I'm in this hobby for life !!!

 

My mum did. I promptly showed her the price tag and she flipped out lol.

Luckily for me, I've got a cool mum. She hasn't said a word about how it's a waste of money, how boys shouldn't be playing with dolls etc etc after the first day. It's my money after all, and she won't interfere as long as I show her that i'm capable of managing my own finances.

 

My family is used to my random and strange intrest (in their eyes) so the most I might get is an eye roll now and again saying that I haven't told them about the resin BJDs I have coming, but as I don't live at home anymore it may take them awhile to notice

 

A person's age has NOTHING to do with the hobby we choose.

 

Since I got my first doll, people have been opening up, but not everyone knows yet. I have friends who are really thrifty and how we are strong that the price is justifiable, they justify the low prices and defend them so if I were to tell them the exact price they would get mad, not just be kind of weird about it, but a lot more than that. I have one friend who took it very well.


My mom has been opening up about it and wanted to buy a wig for her XD

But I can't really tell anyone and all my pictures of her on facebook are private... But probably one day I'll be less "embarassed" about it because she makes me happy.

When strangers look at me weird (aka at doll meets) I don't care at all.

 

I've gotten this from quite a few of my friends, but then I guess when most people hear the word 'doll' they automatically think of barbies and junk. I don't hold it agaisnt them though, I mean that what I thought before I found about about the whole BJD scene so to do so would just be dumb on my part!

...Not that I don't get asked the same questions anyway once they know what I'm talking about, but still!

I just roll with it though, most of my group of friends just get that it's something I'm into and even I myself do sometimes think it'd a bit silly so I can see it from their point of view. But when it comes down to it its something I enjoy and am glad I'm part of. I guess I don't really get upset or anything when they say stuff like that because I've known these people for years and years so its not like being told I'm childish for playing with dolls is going to make me think less of them or anything. I mean hell, my closest friends think it's silly and 'a waste of money' yet they're still supportive in their own teasey way if that make sense.

 

Usually it's the other way around for me. I get lectures from my dad about how I should be saving money for the future and not buying so much stuff when I'm so young. I guess it's mostly an issue of space and college money

 

I'm pretty sure this is more of a problem with younger owners who still have people around them, like parents, who want to help shape them (or tell them what is best, or guide them, or whatever).

It's been way too long since anyone could say that I was anything but an adult, so I don't get those comments. And if I did, I'd be amused. Once you're over 30 or so, being likened to a child isn't as much of an insult as you'd think!

Plus, when you're older, you usually can do what you want. OK, well, there are friends and relatives and hubbies or boyfriends who may still want to have a say, but if you have a good relationship with them they'll at least try not to be obnoxious about it! (Or at least, one would HOPE they'd be a bit understanding, or at least not nasty about it.)

Anyway, as I was already well into adult-hood when I got my BJDs, I have to say that no one has said that to me that I recall.

(I admit that I have stuffed toys and toys and have some rather... um... diverse? eclectic? young-ish? ... interests other than BJDs... so maybe everyone has given up on saying things that I will totally ignore???)

 

My mother was quite weirded out by my sudden interest in (extremely expensive!) dolls.
I think I managed to explain her that I bought my doll because it looked uncannily like the characters in my drawings, and that meant a lot to me.
I also compared collecting -expensive- customizable dolls to my brother's -expensive- passion for motorcicles, which is more accepted and normal by society standards, but it isn't actually more "mature" or serious or whatever... both are expensive and totally unnecessary hobbies. She understood.... I think ._.

 

While I haven't had this particular experience with dolls, my friends/ family do find it strange that I like these. It does make me sad that I only know ONE person who can appreciate these dolls, and no one else understands how special they are to me. But I learn to love things my way, and they can love whatever they want.

 

I haven't been asked this and given the comment of "You're an adult and not a child" but I have received the wow-you're-crazy-look from some people or "Yeah.. they're nice, kind of creepy. I kind of like them but I would never spend money on that. I'd spend it on better things."

Just the other day I was talking with a friend and she likes BJDs too but at one point she ended up saying: "Wow you're retarded. I would never buy one until I'm like 30 and have extra money to spend or something." So that surprised me, aside from the fact that it was really random during that point of our conversation.

I felt slightly offended butttt heck, I'll do my own thing. And if they're going to treat me like that, I'll just talk with other friends who don't. I was really happy when my close friend understood though. But my dad doesn't know and I have a feeling that he'll give me that "You're not a child" thing.

 

Lately, my friend's parents get on to all of us about it (my roommate and I both have dolls), but I'm starting to just ignore it. I love the hobby, and I'm not going to stop doing what i love just for someone else.

 

Well I've heard something similar today and I was totally surprised!
I'm waiting atm for my doll, I was deciding realy LONG time to spend my money right. My bf was always kind for me, helpful when I was researching, and today when we were bit arguing he said: "You're childish." Tbh I didn't understand and I've asked *wisely* "Huh?". "The dolls. Don't you think that is a childish hobby?" Well I am sure it's as childish as his hobby (buying computer equipment). But he explained that computer is useful. Hell yeah, but two are still?
I was a bit confused, becouse that has been said by one I love and I felt hurt. But on the other hand: I can decide about myself and my interests. If anyone thinks I'm childish - go on. I still want to contiune, no matter what my local society will think and say.

I like dolls. The BJD ones. I can't help it.

My mom, who I live with don't know yet I've ordered a doll. I'm really interested what will she say o.O

 

Maybe you should try explaining the hobby side of these dolls and how you are expressing your creative side? I presume you are quite young and maybe haven't decided on a career yet? If your family realise that maybe you could end up working in a creative job because of the fact you "played with" your doll, you could be learning useful skills like making clothes and wind up a fashion designer! Who knows where it could lead.

It's sad that your family are so unsupportive that you have to wait until they are all asleep to let your creative instincts run riot... if it's any consolation... most of my friends and work colleagues, in their 30's and 40's, have collections of dolls, action figures, comic books, what have you and we've all had that "aren't you a little old for those" comments... but we all do creative jobs and those early passions have helped develop our skills

 

*Comforts OP* I'm not sure I can offer any advice that hasn't been already said. No one here can really direct you without knowing more of the intricacies of your family and relationships.

I don't even have my first BJD yet and have mentioned it to my father... not only am I over 30, but I'm a straight guy. Luckily he's only made a couple jeering remarks, but more or less has listened to me drone on about the subject. I suspect my friends might give me an odd look, but not much more than that. I guess I should consider myself lucky with my friends and family. Though, I'm more than expecting some strange comments over this hobby in the coming years. It's natural for people who think there is a normal mode of living to think we are strange for not fitting the "mold", but I say more power to us. For one I don't believe that there is a "normal" type of person, but it's those that have varying interests that helps make the world interesting.

Anyway, good luck with your family. If they knew how much they were hurting you maybe they would change their position. If not, sometimes you just have to have enough faith in yourself to not care what others think. It's your life after all.

 

I'm sorry they're making you feel that way. It's never a good situation when the people closest to you belittle you. It's true that dolls are associated with the very young, the old, and women. Yet, I see nothing wrong with people keeping "childish" hobbies after childhood. It's good to have that sense of whimsy and play in your life.

Since they're your family, try to explain to them just how bad you feel. Tell them it's not hurting anyone. Why should they take this happiness away from you solely because it isn't seen as mature?

 

If they are your family just tel them you are interested in making clothes and using the doll as a model and muse for designing. If it's anybody else tell them it's an artist's doll and your hobby. Keep it simple and keep emotion out of it. They are only torturing you because you are getting so upset about it.
I'm an artist, so I tell people that I don't want to engage in a discussion with that I use the dolls as models. Which is true. I am fortunate enough to be of the age that I can also tell people to go mind thier own business. And fortunately my family is supportive.

Unfortunately in some families they want so much for everyone to be "normal" thinking that they will be most happy this way and can be quite overbearing in their effort to impose this normalcy. My advice is be as normal as possible until you can live under your own roof and only have to listen to unsolicited advice occaisionaly.

 

To me, BJDs aren't dolls as in 'toys'. They are dolls as in 'collectables' and 'luxery items'. So I never see it as an adult owning something that's meant for children.