Are dolls childish?

Before I got into dolls I was (and still am) into comic book collecting. Comics are for children, right? (And only for boys too.)
I think it's easier to accept that you have a hobby with certain prejudices attached to it and most people won't get to know it well enough to understand the appeal. It's not the kind of hobby that will get you approval and recognition easily. You chose a "weird" hobby, so choose to worry less about what others think and focus more on the fun.
If you're old enough to spend $XXX on a doll, you should be old enough to be confident in your choices.

 

If you're a girl and you love dolls, you've got it easy. If you're a guy, like me, then not so much. It's the constraints that society places on us. We're either being told to grow up, get a job, get a better paying job, get married, buy a home, pay taxes, save for retirement, save for your funeral and burial plot or cremation, etc, etc. What strikes me as odd is that I sometimes forget that I don't need to walk the same path as everyone else in my life or do what most people think is normal. There's no such thing as normal anymore. Don't let people get you down. Dolls have always been about celebration to me. I love the internet. It can connect us doll-loving folk together. I totally agree that most people would openly accuse us doll owners of being frivolous and weird, but just like Mercredi said that her Father loved his Model Trains... you're guaranteed to have another family member who's just as obessesed with their hobby as you are with yours...
Obsession? I call it devotion~

 

I've always been into dolls. I love all of them. I only own one bjd and she is my absolute favorite. It's been implied that they're "creepy", and I've been asked with a look of disbelief, "you DRESS them"?
Dolls are a natural and important part of my life. Yes I play with them and dress them up. Like any other hobby, it's pure pleasure. I also work full time, maintain a household and have a normal life.

 

I couldn't agree more
You don't have to be like everybody else. Choose your own path and do what you want. The only thing that matters is whether it makes you happy.

When I was going through a rough time my father told me that he'd rather I quit school and got a lousy job than for me to be unhappy. And I still carry that with me. So whenever I feel bad about what I'm doing I think about those words and remember what matters most; that I'm happy.

 

My family doesn't really care that I'm into dolls. My sister completely understands and has no problem with it. My mum was just a little shocked at the price so I had to explain it to her. I'm buying them with the money I earn myself so they don't care what I do; they know I think things through. I'm quite happy explaining all the research I've done. XD

A few people think it's weird I would want a doll, but I don't see what's wrong with it. Why should we be forced to grow up completely? We can still play with dolls and be serious and responsible. If anything, it develops those traits even more, because you take care of something precious.


I understand that societal "norms" restrict males from owning or playing with dolls, when there's no reason to. My male friend would play Barbies with me and other girls, and I saw nothing wrong with that. My best male friend also carries his Kuma Jr. with him, dresses him, and talks to him. Some people comment about how weird it is, but I tell them that weird to one person is normal to another! It was funny when me, my friend, and Kuma Jr. went to the shops and my sister commented on how nobody walks around the shops with bears... and then I saw someone else who was carrying their big bear! She shut up when I pointed it out. It was hilarious.

 

Yeah, my family doesn't really care that I have dolls...my husband thinks they are a waste of money (he doesn't know how much they really cost since I pay for them out of my own paypal account which isn't linked to our bank), but he doesn't mind as long as I'm happy, and we can pay the bills. We don't have children...never will...and I think of my BJDs as my substitute children (along with my four pawed children), hence why I ordered a LTF--I wanted to have a toddler without the pregnancy

 

I, too, seem to be getting a similar reaction.
Maybe not directly, but it seems like even if no one in my household does like them, they don't even bother to be at least happy for me. Their reactions are almost like I did something they find blasphemous or something D:

Although I like what JJbeans and Skillet said~ And whenever my family mentions or gives me "that look," I mention that my roommate spends a good $200 A WEEK on SODA, and my mom buys loads of purses and shoes, so they really shouldn't criticize how I spend my money, when they buy things I personally find pointless in the same way they find BJDs pointless xB

 

I think you need to explain that this isn't a normal doll, it's a Asian Ball Jointed Doll sometimes you can re-frame how people see the "doll" when you explain that it's an art-form, it's fully customisable, they are sculpted and hand-painted ... then maybe they will see it as more and art-object and less as a childlike plaything.

good luck!

 

I've never seen a problem with it. Women collect porcelain dolls and crystal knickknacks, guys collect baseball hats, cards, and shot glasses. Nerds collect expensive figurines and comic books. What the heck does it matter?

Maturity is not caring what anyone thinks. If you're a grown man and you love reading fairy tales, who the hell cares? Do what you like.

I have a friend with a problem of worrying what everyone thinks of her (if I so much as make a gagging face at a certain food she likes, she feels REALLY BAD), so I am BEYOND tired of lecturing and advising on not caring what other people think, so I'll just leave it at that.

Do what makes you happy, other people be damned. If they see you not caring what they say, they usually stop.

 

Heh heh, I totally understand the money side of the argument though, especially after spending so much money on BJDs and then wonding why I don't have enough money to by other things like a new winter jacket for this year. "I always think, hmmm, I've got other jackets and there ok... maybe a little worn out on the edges, but ok. A winter jacket will be worn for maybe four months this year, but a new Littlefee Rachel will give me joy all year round." lol

Seriously though... BJDs are fine works of art. They may be like other dolls that are formed from a sculptor's original mold, but there's a lot of hand-work that goes into BJDs as opposed to your basic doll that you would find at a corporate toy chain like Toys R Us. There's the sanding off the lines leftover from the molding process, then there's all the decisions as to what it's faceup concept will be like... I'm sure that involves a lot of different sketches with different color palettes (especially for special or limited edition release dolls) Also, there's the actual faceup and sometimes body painting/blushing, which a lot of people here in the Den of Angels know more about that than me. Also, if it's one of those package deals or limited/special edition dolls, then there is the outfit. The outfits for BJDs alone are works of art. I know first-hand how hard it is to sew doll clothes. Designing the outfit to look good and function well for a particular doll's scuplt (like the Pipos' dolls that have tails) I could go on and on, but I digress.

I am only a meager fan of BJDs, but a definite enthusiastic owner. I wish I could own all the dolls I want, but there's just so much good dolls or rather, works of art, out there... I wouldn't be the same person I am today without my dolls. I'd like to quote Sheryl Crow - "If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad" and I'll add to that with my own ending thought... if it makes you happy and it isn't hurting you or anyone else, then embrace it, because life is too short to go without the things you love for too long. :O)

 

Yeah, I got that same response from my aunts (about how I'm old and still playing with dolls), and they were especially bug-eyed when I told them the price. And it's really not fair for them to make the assessment that just because it's a doll, it naturally would have to be given to children straightaway.

It's your own money, you bought it for your own enjoyment. If they don't like it...well, isn't it nice that they have a right to express their opinion, just as you have the right to completely ignore said opinions.

Thankfully, none of the aunts have said anything about giving my dolls to children, since who in their right mind would give these kinds of dolls, especially a busty EID, to a child? And which child in our family? My 2-year-old nephew who ran away from my doll when I stood her in front of him? *lol* Yes, I'm sure his dad would be happy that his kid has a $700 doll

One day, there'll come a time when people's views wouldn't matter anymore to you. You can start practicing now ;P Just do what you want, and like what you want. It's nice to have that freedom.

 

I am a weird person, ever since I was much younger, and I said "Screw peer pressure, they don't like me they can shove it!" because I have 3 older brothers that made me a very strange little girl. So I would just ignore the people who thought I was weird and hung out with the other weird kids. Now us "wierd" kids are "popular" because we dared to be different, while everyone else spent the past 7 years of their life trying to fit in during middle school and high school. Now they can't get out of those cliques they put themselves in.

Now, people think it's cool that I carry around my bjd to school. They don't know what it is (and some think I MADE Nika), and even think it's awesome that I can take out the back of his head. I've even been defended before without asking because someone was making fun of me. Something like, "She doesn't make fun of you, even though it'd be pretty easy." :p

So no, I've never had the problem of annoying people thinking Im wierd, because I live in the world I created, and since I've always been like this, it's not weird for me. It's almost expected that I'll be like that, because that's who I made myself to be when I was younger.

 

If I have learned one thing after my 10 years for depression, its that I got to go things in life that makes me happy.

Bjds make me happy so thats what I do, but I made sure to spend my own erned money.

Most of my fam is supportive of me buying a bjd, but my dad would never asccept it if he knew the prize, but I told him I was gonna make and sell clothes for them, Its was all ok. Money in = dad happy.

My point not being to make up excuses for things you like and make you happy, bacause you really shouldnt need to. But if it helps you feel better about your bjd, coming up with an excuse like that to make your family and friends accempt them more might make it more barable.

Sorry for spelling~

 

Personally I don't really get how buying expensive dolls=for kids.

Most I knew growing up (and I went to school with a lot of wealthier kids) did not have dolls more expensive than American Girl or Lee Middleton dolls; compared to the average SD, they are nowhere near that in price. It was general knowledge that there were certainly collectible and expensive dolls (not necessarily BJDs), and that they were for "grown-ups."

Perhaps saying that these dolls are collectible and expensive items that are not for kids might help tone down the sort of negativity you've been getting.

 

The people I work with know I have BJDs..I brought one to work one halloween..and they were either fascinated by her or scared. No one said "that's a kid's toy" if they did I would have told them your kid couldn't afford this doll. Besides they think I'm weird which makes them keep their mouths shut. So "Yay" for being a weirdo!

 

do other peoples opinions really matter that much?

I honestly don't care what people think of my dolls. if they hate them or think I'm a little kid for liking them then, fine. they don't get it and there's no point in explaining myself or giving apart of myself away because they think I'm weird

for a large portion of my life (ok... preschool to now. 13/16 years) I've been made fun of. people have told me I'm weird and have even gone so far to call me devil girl and pretend to splash holy water on me (and give me welts from throwing rocks at me and jump on top of me or punch me in the face with a football)....... and after being made fun of for so long for reasons I couldn't ever have had explained to me, I realized how pointless it is to even care. so what they think I'm freaky? so what I have barely any friends? so what if people think my dolls are creepy and I should grow up? I honestly don't give a rats ass because I'm having fun with my life and I like the way I am.

so your family thinks you're a kid for buying them? so?why should it bother you? they're YOUR dolls that you bought with YOUR own money for YOUR own enjoyment.... so where do these other people come into the equation. YOUR life is about YOU. maybe I'm selfish for thinking this but when it comes to happiness, I feel a lot better pleasing myself and living according to my happiness than living according to how others think I should and what they think is right.

so what if you like dolls and everyone thinks you're a kid.... what's so bad about being a kid? at least you know how to have fun then. if it makes you happy then why should it matter..... unless your family WANTS you to be unhappy

hmmm.... rant over.

 

I feel sorry that you have to bring your doll out after everyone's sleeping to avoid constant criticism. As was said before, these dolls are an art-form, and here we all are collecting them and loving them. We are all different, women, men , teenagers. You have every right to enjoy you dolls however and whenever you want. Show your family this site so they may see how many of us there are!

 

I personally think a lot of what is wrong with the world is people being pressured into "growing up" and leaving behind the most precious parts of themselves back in childhood. I am talking about imagination, creativity, play just for the fun of it, pure joy in life without guilt or stress, appreciation of something beautiful, taking time for yourself, looking forward to things with excitement and happiness....the list could go on....

If more adults retained their open-heartedness, and instant acceptance of others that you see in three and four year olds then what a different place the world would be! If everyone understood what it is like to care for and nurture and create something beautiful then there would be a lot less interest in destruction and violence.

And boys have a right to enjoy nurturing, loving and caring for a doll just as much as girls do. Imagine all the little boys who grow up feeling ashamed of being kind-hearted and nurturing, and who are called "girlish" if they happen to appreciate the beautiful things in life.

I just feel sorry for those who are so busy trying to be "grown up" that they've forgotten how precious it is to have an imagination! I'm 34 and I still have the same imagination I did as a child. It comforts me, enhances my life and enriches my inner world. I wouldn't want to give it up for anything!

 

My family!
But they just think that BJDs are too expensive, but they have never said me about that I'm not a child to have one.
And my doll is always in my room, so they don't really care about him~