Are you affraid of critic of your doll?

I am sorry to hear nasty comment has been told to you about your dolls.

My advice will be to ask you not to be afraid to show your dolls. All dolls are beautiful regardless of their company and customization. The owners had put a lot of work and effort in their dolls. Be pride of your dolls and if any came across and left a comment as your doll is ugly or anything alike just simply block them .

I would personally love to see more of your dolls, as your doll family list looks amazing and interesting .. please don't be afraid to share here on in any other platform

 

My main advice would be to realy pay attention to where you hang out and post. Is it in a place where these things are common? What does the comments look like on other similar pictures? And then, before posting, decide if that is the right place for you. If not, then leave that place and post some where else instead.

DoA has a very nice over all tone in most comments, in my experience. But don't just take my word for it, look around!
It's also usually frowned upon saying nasty things about individual dolls, because that is some ones property and since a lot of care goes into customization it can hurt on a very personal level if people are negative about it.

There are specific subforums here to ask for critique so if you post there, you need to expect to get that, obviously. But giving constructive critique, rather than just stating opinions is encouraged.
I would call both your examples of comments you got opinions, to be honest. Do you care about the opinions of the specific individuals who made those comments? If not, then who cares what they think? Especcially if you didn't ask for their opinion.
You like your doll and that's what matters.

If you want to make a soft start just to test the waters, why not post your doll in the company discussion thread for that doll? That way you know that most people seeing it are likely to enjoy it.

 

Honestly, nobody's opinion really matters other than your own.

Liking or not liking the look of a particular doll, or sculpt, style or whatever is very subjective. One person's beauty, may well be another person's ugly. So, it stands to reason that not everybody will like your doll, and some people won't be shy about saying so.

They are entiteled to their opinion (and whether they should keep that opinion to themselves, or feel free to share it, or should share it an a less blunt way, or whatever, is another issue entirely) the same way as people are entitlted to like or dislike anybody's doll(s).

The point is, YOU have the dolls you have, and style them the way you do because YOU like them.

It's unrealistic to expect everyone else to like them too. So long as you like them, what does it matter if some other people have different tastes?

The answer is, it doesn't.

Enjoy your dolls, the way you want them.

Teddy

 

Like what Lillith said, it really depends on where you post your doll photos. Places where there is an existing doll community, like Instagram, Twitter and Tumblr, seem to be more accepting in general, I feel. At least, I haven't personally noticed any hurtful comments there? But then I don't really go deep into the communities there, I just occasionally post pictures of my dolls and doll stuff on my personal Tumblr and follow some doll makers/companies on Instagram and Twitter,

But yes, the forums here would be a great place for getting back into posting photos of your doll. You will need to host your photos elsewhere though as DoA doesn't have a place for you to upload photos. And if you upload and host your photos on Imgur, make sure to set those photos to private! There are a lot of trolls there that leave mean comments on doll photos! I've seen it happen to a lot of people.

 

I never personally got any negative messages about my BJD to my face, but I did receive screen shots from a forum that was dedicated to posting rude comments about other peoples dolls (or so I was told), and a Russian blog that focused on my Minimee based on Sephiroth -- the screen shots were sent via private messages to me. I always felt that as a grown adult, I had developed pretty thick skin from all the years of being bullied for being vegan as a child growing up (because that affected other children somehow). I didn't really mind what other grown adults had to say about my dolls. The people who sent me the screen shots seemed a bit more bothered about it. I can't say I get offended one way or the other, people's opinions are important to each individual, not necessarily to everyone else.

Although, I was raised to understand that humans are all different, all having varying ideals and moral standards. Maybe that's why it's hard for me to get easily offended, more so about a doll. I have gotten things like "creepy" dolls, on other not "on-topic" stuff replied to my own posts on other social platforms. I love creepy things myself, so I just find it hilarious that people think their personal opinion would be of any importance to a random stranger on the internet. I actually get bothered if my photos get reposted without permission, than getting insults on my toys. Having said that, if a stranger wants to rant about how ugly my dolls are, or any other "insulting" comments about me or my personal possessions, and that helps them get through their daily lives, then I say go for it. It's not going to make any dent in my life, and certainly not going to be the end of the world for anyone else, so I don't mind. I'm older than dust though; life is kind of short, and I have always had a terrible memory so I will probably just forget about it eventually, regardless. It certainly never stopped me from posting my ugly stuff all over the place. (:

 

First thing: tell me who this person was and I will haunt them. Seriously, wtf.

Aside from this, I would invite you to just disregard those toxic comments: they are not critics, they are just rude, toxic trolls. Real critics would help you improve, not shut you down. I know that for some people it's difficult, but if you want to hang out in places like fb groups, forums (not this one, I mean, in general), twitter and so on, you have to learn how to deal with trolls and toxic people in general.

I can safely say that HERE no one would ever even dream to tell you that your dolls are UGLY.

 

Block whoever feels the need to voice unnecessary opinions about things that are not their business.
You need to enjoy your doll and only you. And if rude people stop you from doing so? Hit that block button like it owes you money and create a safe online space for you to enjoy your hobby to the fullest!

 

Any time you post or display something publicly, you have to be prepared for people not to share your opinion of it. That's just life. Not everyone is required to find the same things attractive, and it's very much human nature to say what we think... positive *or* negative. The world at large will not abide by 'Thumper's Rule' ("If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all"-) and honestly, you shouldn't expect it to. It's an unrealistic standard, even in spaces with a reputation for being kinder than average.

So, what can you do? You can learn not to give a single rosy red rat's bum what other people think of your hobbies or your choices. Because, when it comes down to it, they are YOUR choices. If you picked that particular doll because you wanted it... because you liked it... then your opinion is the only one that matters. Your collection, your choice. Period. If someone in the peanut gallery doesn't like that sculpt you liked? So what. They don't have to buy one. But they don't get a say in what you do.

 

tamara-ishihara I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience that it stopped you from enjoying your hobby. That is so sad. I think there are many wonderful comments here in this thread and I hope their advice helps you.

It seems like the answer would be to 'have a thick skin' and just do as you please, but if you aren't ready to post again yet there may be other options. Maybe you could continue taking your pictures and create a photo album for yourself? Have your pictures printed out and either scrapbook them or use a photo service to make beautiful books with your photographs. You'll be able to look back on them and cherish the time you spent with your dolls. Not everything NEEDS to be posted on social media for it to be important! Then, when you're ready, you can find a nice online community to share your photos again.

I hope you find a way to enjoy your beautiful dolls again! Best wishes

 

A doll is a very unique and subjective thing. You will make it according to your preferences. It's there to please your aesthetics and to give you joy, not for anyone else.
So if you love your doll, that's all that counts.
Don't care about what other people think too much and spread your pictures.
Even if some say they don't like it (which is very ignorant and disrespectful...) some might say they also appreciate your doll.
Don't let yourself be irritated by this and don't hide your dolls because sharing pictures of what you love is also a part of the hobby.

 

I do fear negative critique but I post anyway because the good usually outweigh the bad and I get good advice or feedback that helps me learn. A comment saying it’s ugly is just mean and if they give no reason why it is “ugly” to them and how it could improve then it is worthless to me.

 

Yeah, someone saying "your doll is ugly" is just trying to be mean. If they were a normal person who didn't like it, they would just not say anything at all. So if someone said my doll was ugly or that they hated it, I would just ignore and block that person. I don't need that kind of negativity in my hobby space.

 

My advice is going to be a little different from the others on here. You are the only one who knows how you will feel about others' negative comments, and whether it is worth the risk to you to post photos. If you don't want to risk the negative comments, it is perfectly okay to not post photos to protect your mental health. You do not owe anyone content. In other words, not posting photos is only a problem if you consider it to be one.

With that said, it does sound like you would like to try posting photos again. If so, I agree with the other commenters that some areas of the internet are more supportive than others, and you can protect yourself somewhat by choosing to post in more accepting areas. Den of Angels is the most positive BJD area I've found so far, so maybe you'd enjoy starting here. Best of luck

 

Very good point.

Teddy

 

I try to take everyones input with a grain of salt. Sometimes it can be helpful, other times.. not so much! If someone shares some insight on how to make my pictures look better or style my dolls nicer i accept it bc thats what the comments are for (for me personally.) If they comment something negative that i dont really agree on then i just ignore and go on about my day. My dolls are for my own enjoyment, even if im looking to improve!

 

Opinions are like...well, everyone has one. And anywhere, people will always feel entitled to share that opinion whether you asked for it or not. In the Lolita community, when we post photos, we might add "please no concrit" or "concrit welcome." I don't know if that is something that is done here.

As a person that is non-conforming in my appearance and is fat, I get a lot of unsolicited opinions about my body. On my bad mental health days, these opinions really bother me. But most days I just let it go. Because who cares? They are complete strangers. I hold the opinion of my friends and family in higher esteem, but even that has it's limits. My BFF doesn't like that I color my hair. Oh friggen well, girlie, it's my hair.

Honestly, it takes a lot of practice to let the opinions of others fall away from you. But you can do it. Don't let them bring you down. You are doing what you like and you aren't hurting anyone. People are always going to have an opinion. It's what you do with it that matters.

 

For the most part, I don't really let others' opinions get to me. I love my dolls, and that's what matters. Unless they are paying for my dolls and either painting them or commissioning faceups for me, they don't get to tell me how they'd like the doll to look. (And for the record, aside from a couple of dolls who were gifts, nobody buys my dolls for me! And even the ones who did gift them would never tell me how to enjoy them.) I know it can be hard to just ignore it. In theory it's easy to say "I don't care", but when rude people are attacking you and your doll and saying they're ugly or creepy, it's really hard not to take it personally or feel upset. Most of us connect to these dolls in some form and pour bits and pieces of ourselves into creating their final look, so insulting them is like insulting a little part of ourselves, and that can hurt.

What I would suggest is sharing in safe spaces for now. DoA does not tolerate bullying, so posting in the galleries here should be safe--and if someone is needlessly hateful, you can always report them with that little triangle with the exclamation point in the bottom left corner of each post. I've found that Instagram is pretty nice, at least I haven't dealt with any rude comments on my dolls. (But I only have just over 300 followers, so I don't get much attention anyway. ) You can also make your account private if you so choose so only doll friends you already know and trust can see.

Personally, I feel that everyone has a different idea of "ugly" and "beautiful". It doesn't even matter how good a faceup is or how well a doll is dressed, there are some sculpts I will always find unappealing no matter what. I would never ever tell someone their doll is ugly, though! Everyone should be allowed to enjoy their dolls, regardless of sculpt, company, cost, skill level of faceup/customization, etc. It's just cruel to hurt someone's feelings over a harmless thing that makes them happy.

 

If someone online says something rude, why not just block them? You're allowed to curate your own web experience. Block everyone if you want! Alternatively, if someone comes in to my house and says my dolls are creepy, I find it very rude and consider showing them the door. It certainly does not change my opinion of my beloved dolls though. So what if they think my dolls are creepy? Maybe they are. I really don't care!

I didn't buy them for the person making a comment so I don't really care what their opinion is. Even if they say they like it, it doesn't really matter. Almost nothing you can say will make me love my doll less. (The exception is pointing out a permanent flaw that will bug me until it destroys me)

If you're getting these comments from people who don't like dolls, of course they think your doll is creepy! Most of the adult population is freaked out by dolls! We certainly can't relate but I do accept it and live with it. Your doll is yours and for you. If for some reason someone only collecting for social media responses, I can't help them other than suggest they buy a Minifee Chloe.