Being Asked to Sell Your Doll By Fellow Hobbyist

It all depends on the way the person asks you, I guess. I wouldn't be offended or find it rude if a person inquires if I might be willing to part with a certain doll. I would however find it rude if they keep pushing if I told them I wasn't interested in selling at all.

I'm too shy to actually ask someone to contact me if they ever sell a particular doll which always ends up in me not being able to purchase a doll I've been pining. Usually because someone else already bought it before the seller actually had the chance to put it up for sale..

I guess it can get really annoying if people keep asking you to buy a certain doll but in a way it's also a form of flattery since they seem to like what you have done with it so much.

 

I'd personally consider it very rude since there are people in this hobby that would never consider selling their dolls. I think people should wait until something is for sale first or, at a push, mention that if someone ever sells their doll they'd be interested in buying it. Outright suggesting or asking that someone should sell their doll is both cringe-worthy and disrespectful.

 

It's certainly bold, but I agree that I don't think it's actually rude unless they're pushy about it. There's no way of knowing if the person is really attached to the doll or if maybe they just bought it for the outfit or something and plan to sell it later anyway, unless you ask.

 

I agree, that IS bold. She probably didn't know she was coming off as off-putting. If you make it clear how attached you are to a doll and then they ask you to sell? I would say that's a bit offensive.

I don't think you were way off if it made you feel weird lol

 

While it is off-putting, and "rude" in the BJD hobby, I have seen this at fashion doll cons, where it is an acceptable sort of behavior. If she's coming from that background, then I'd just chalk it up to her not having learned the fine distinctions in the rules, especially if she wasn't pushy or rude.

 

i think to me it would depend on how they phrased it. if they asked/demanded to buy it without asking if i wanted to keep it, that would bother me. but if they said they were looking for a second doll and asked me to think of them if i was considering selling? that would be fine.

i just had something very similar happen here on doa. i had a doll i was dithering about trying to fix because it wasn't working out the way i had planned. someone on the thread pmed me and very politely asked if i had ever considered selling it because she was looking for that exact le part. it hadn't occurred to me, but i thought it over and decided that i wasn't really attached to it and would rather it went to someone who really wanted it. after a few convos she bought it and i put the money towards a doll i was much happier with. she was thrilled with her doll, so it was a win win for both of us.

 

I wouldn't consider asking for the first time to be rude, continuing to push for it after one declined the offer, yes rude.. I've experienced both where I've inquired if the owner would be interested to sell when they got bored of one of their dolls, and I've had people asked me the same. It doesn't hurt anyone to inquire, maybe the person being asked was considering selling and moving to another project but just didn't say so in public yet.

 

Like anything else, it really depends on the circumstances I guess... but just generally speaking, I would call it rude. At the very least it's pushy, which means its never going to count as polite behavior.

I could be biased about that, but I've been on the OP's end of that situation myself with another collector who really, really wanted to buy a specific doll in my crew. A doll I had absolutely no intention of getting rid of. She finally got a clue and backed off, but it took more than one "No. I'm not interested in selling him." to get the point across. <_<

 

I think someone asking you to sell your doll straight out of the blue when you've given no indication of wanting/thinking of selling the doll is borderline rude. If you'd voiced something about thinking of selling or said that you'd been having second thoughts of the purchase, then as long as the person asked politely, I wouldn't see it as rude. However, if they continued to ask if you wanted to sell after you said you wouldn't be interested in selling, that would be quite rude.

 

It wasn't a doll but I've had people ask to buy other things that I own; either plushes that I'm sewing, figurines that I'm taking pictures of or even electronic devices that I'm using. It's very awkward for me since I don't really talk to a lot of people and I politely decline. I think it can be rude to ask if someone is selling something on them unless they specifically have a sign or something saying that the item is up for sale. It's almost like asking someone if they're willing to sell the outfit they're currently wearing.

If I say no and they're just being pushy, I usually will walk away so they stop bothering me.

 

I don't know how old the child was, but young kids dont really have a filter for their words, so sometimes things like that slip out.

If somebody were older and they asked me to sell my doll, heck yeah, I'd be offended.

 

In general, I think it's pretty rude. Some people pour so much time, devotion, work, emotion, love, and thought into these dolls, that asking them to sell their beloved doll could feel to them like asking to sell their child or pet. Even if they don't have a lot of sentimental value invested in the doll, it's still sort of weird to ask. It would be like asking a random stranger to sell their purse or shoes to you.

The only time I've asked someone to sell me doll, and been asked in return, is from close friends and bjd rp partners. Sometimes it's easy to fall in love with a friend's doll, especially if their stories entwine. I think if you're that close, it's okay to ask politely "If you ever lose the bond to your doll and decide to sell, I'd like to buy him/her so they can stay with their partner/friend/family member in the resin." That's not demanding or asking to have it NOW, just to be considered should things change in the future.

This actually did happen to me. I RPed a doll couple for about 4 years, and early on we had discussed what to do if one of us lost interest in our characters, who were married with kids. We agreed to offer to each other first before deciding to list publicly. When I did end up deciding to sell my doll, that's exactly what happened, and I sold the doll, wig, eyes, all clothing and extras to her to keep the characters as we had created them.

 

It really depends on the circumstances and how they ask. I don't think anyone should take offense unless the person is super pushy or rude. I've been asked if I was selling a non-BJD related item before, and while the question really came out of nowhere, the person was polite about it and I politely declined. On the other hand, I've heard stories about how someone practically demanded something from another person, even going as far to say that they deserved it more. Now that is totally unacceptable.

 

The closest I've come to someone asking me is "What a cool doll, I want one just like it!" and it was a limited doll. In that instance, I saw no problem with the way they hinted (if they even meant to). If they had said "Woah awesome how much for the doll?" it would have been kinda rude, but honestly there are so many more impolite things people can do/say (ESPECIALLY in this community) that it shouldn't bother someone too much to be asked - not harrassed, note the difference. Like, don't touch my doll's face with spicy Cheeto fingers.....

 

I think that's pretty rude of her. She may not have known better since as someone has already said, in other doll communities this is perfectly acceptable, so I think you responded to the situation well by not being rude back.
That has never happened to me with BJDs but I have been in situations where I had just bought something (a new figure I had been wanting for a while) and my friend's mom told me to give it to my friend because she wanted it after seeing me buy it. I declined and after a few weeks she finally stopped bothering me about it.
I'm not quite sure what I would do if it was in regards to Nadeko, but probably nothing as kind as you.

On the other hand,
I came across a really old PM recently where someone said that if I ever wanted her doll (it's one that I have been looking for a long time) to let her know and I have been fighting back the urge to do so as it has been years since she sent me that PM and we are not close friends by any means. It makes me feel as if I would be being as rude as that woman and I don't want to do that to anyone.

 

I think I've only been asked if I'd sell my doll in an idle curiosity kind of way like "how much would it cost to get to that?" and I just explained the cost of the doll, the eyes, the shoes, and the time and supplies I spent for the items I made myself.

I don't really mind the question. That said, I don't think I would sell some of my most coveted dolls for any price.

I mainly think it's rude if people are pushy about it or start haggling in the super insulting way where they start taking a dump on you as if that would somehow put you in a gracious mood. I get that a lot when selling drawings and artwork... you can either pay the price I am asking or shut up because I'm pretty sure you wouldn't covet it if you really thought it looked like barf.

 

I collect other things besides BJDs and in every circle of collectors I'm part of it's considered rude to ask someone to sell something from their collection if that person hasn't expressed that they might be inclined to do so. Especially say, on a box opening post or something like that. But I think it depends a lot on the situation and how you word it. I know I've had it happen (many, many times actually) to me and it always bothered me and I felt it was rude because my collection page specifically states in various places that nothing there is for sale, yet people ask anyway. I've had requests that are polite and others that are practically "How much for X?", and I reply according to how the request was worded. If not for the very nice people who are genuinely interested in learning more about the items in my collection and/or helping me find things I'm missing, I would have taken out the contact form by now.

On the other hand, if she only worded it as say, asking you to contact her if you ever do decide to sell, I think that's less rude. Perhaps a bit silly because I know I'd never remember that if it took a long time between the request and me selling, but not as rude regardless. If she just flat out asked you to sell it to you now, then that's more irksome to me. I've seen once someone harrass a poor girl on a box opening post (not BJD related) because she got their grail and she was "unworthy" of it and demanding she sell it to them. That kind of message, obviously, is unnacceptable. So I think it depends a lot on how she went about it and whether or not you ever gave anyone the impression that you might be willing to sell dolls from your collection, even if not that one specifically.

 

I've never asked, and haven't been seriously asked by anyone. Sometimes when I have one out with me for whatever reason, I'll be asked if I make them to sell them (and some of my neighbors have wondered if I sell them, as well), and I'll clarify that no, I'm strictly buying/collecting, not selling, thanks, which generally cuts it off well.

I also haven't asked anyone, though I have ended up buying a doll a friend was selling that I'd wanted. I didn't ask until it had been up for sale for a little while, actually, and I was sure I had the money to hand over for it.

I've talked a little at meets about "theoretically if you sold your dolls," during a discussion on what is and isn't copyright infringement (several of my dolls are done up as existing characters), but never about actually selling them. And I wouldn't sell those boys, anyway.

I do think it's completely context-sensitive as to whether the question is rude or not. It's entirely possible to politely ask, "Hey, if you ever sell X, would you let me know? I really like her." It's also possible to rudely ask, "Hey, I love your X, I want to buy her!" The person writing the second might have actually meant the same thing as the first, but when worded poorly, the question becomes rude, and inappropriate.