Being in the hobby while pregnant?

This is such a lovely thread to read...it just warmed my heart Razzy that even though little Bentley isn't here yet you are already feeling so responsible for his well being and instinctively thinking of putting all that is "you" aside just tend to all his needs. You can't do that to yourself. Especially since you seem like a very enthusiastic dollie-person ( as all of us are!)
I am not a mother yet but I have three Yorkshire terriers, and they are just like my kids at the moment. I have them several years now, my eldest girl I got almost 6 years ago, followed by my boy 2 years later and the tiniest one a little over a year ago, around the same time I had just started getting into this hobby (and hadn't any dolls yet).
Getting my first doll, I always tried to involve my dogs in box openings and pictures and so on and they seemed to be really quite confused as to why this "little person" (she is an SD size) was so stiff and din't play with them unless mummy moved her around. All three of them are used to playing with kids and are really friendly dogs so they were quite annoyed with my doll, that she didn't seem to want to play! Along the way my dolly crew grew, really fast but I always made sure my doggies needs came on par and as much as a priority as it was before and I could never put my dolls before them. I still spend the same amount of time brushing them and playing with them on the floor every morning and evening when i come home from work..and before I go to my dollies.
It's just instinct to feel guilty, I get guilty a lot too when I buy a really expensive fullset doll or more than one doll a month but as long as all the priorities in our lives are met and everything is in order and we have the spare cash to spend (after savings are put away of course) then we shouldn't feel guilt.
We all deserve to be ourselves and to indulge in healthy hobbies that help us relax and to make us feel whole and well rounded as people. I would feel more guilt buying loads of designer handbags and shoes as opposed to my dolls. I used to have a huge collection of them which I have slowly downsized and given the proceeds to charity and my bank account. They eventually brought me so much guilt and i understood why. It was just pointless spending.Bags and shoes are just that, bags and shoes but a doll is such a creative and stimulating hobby. It's something really special that I have come to love and something that has become a huge part of me. Creating a character, customizing it with faceups, dressing it, giving him or her clothes and so on. It's just something I have come to love and treasure so much. Something I have never felt in any other hobby ever. Something that even the people in my life and around me who would never have known anything about a bjd in the past are now being educated about them and getting even a little inspired by me and my unique hobby.
So, you should keep it for sure and stop feeling guilty. You son will grow and eventually even share the hobby with you growing up with dolls in his life. I am sure having such a creative and yet responsible mum, he will be a really really lucky kid. He will watch you dress them and photograph them and he will grow up understanding that it's part of mummy's life and a huge part of who mummy is as a person. The same way my doggies have come to learn that about me

 

As others have said, as long as you're not giving up anything he needs, you're fine.
I got into Blythe/dolls when I was pregnant, and I did have lots of moments of feeling guilty about the money I spent on them, even though my husband and I were very comfortable financially.

It's SO important that you still have your own hobbies and "me time" after the baby is born, it's vital for your mental and emotional well-being. And in my experience, doll collecting/customising/photography/making clothes (or whatever else you do with your BJDs) is perfect for new mums; it's a quiet, low-maintenance hobby that doesn't necessarily require a lot of set-up, leaving the house, or time commitment to enjoy; so it's easy to fit around life with a new baby. It's something you can quietly pick up and enjoy while your baby's asleep, or while your fiance's looking after him, and should you be needed, you can just put the dolls down and come back to them later.

So the way I see it, the money I spend on dolls is an investment in Mummy Sanity.

 

Thank GOD I found this thread! I'm dealing with this right now! I'm at nearly 13 weeks now, and am due in the summer. My husband and I are very lucky in that we are getting TONS of baby hand-me-downs, and we'll register for whatever else we need....but the guilt started to creep in after I spent my Christmas money on doll clothes (she only had two outfits! The shame!). I know that I need my hobby to keep myself sane in the coming months, but the guilt...I don't think it will ever really go away. But that's okay- I understand it comes with the territory. What happens now is that I am prepping to buy a new doll...and I think the husband is getting a bit annoyed, since I have to quit work now (can't continue my somewhat manual job, especially since it involves cats). I feel the worst about him, since soon he'll have to support both me and baby...

 

This is an interesting thread. I'm actually 4 months pregnant too, and sort of had that thought. Is it wrong to have an expensive hobby like bjd collecting while becoming a parent? I am going to slow down on getting any new dolls for sure, but I'd like to avoid any downsizing. I have had to take time off of work, and that has effected things a little finacally, so it has made me feel super guilty about any sort of hobby related things. To me it's been a good time to enjoy my existing dolls, and contemplate my characters a little more. For me, the dolls, and the hobby in general has been bringing me joy, and I figure it's a good thing if it makes you happy. I don't picture myself wanting to stop collecting, or leave the hobby any time soon. There will just be a little break for now. Having a child on the way, is just going to be another one of those epic joys in life.

 

I'm on week 21 now and also in the process of completing my doll collection with one last doll on layaway. I guess after that it will be only exchanging dolls (if I want a new one, sell existing stuff for the same value) or potentially downsizing if I realize I no longer have any time at all for them.
This has been a challenging pregnancy and for the first 3 months I didn't feel at all like touching my dolls, even when I was at home all day on medical leave - now as I've returned to work I've also gone back to my dolls with renewed enthusiasm
I've no idea how things will fire up after baby comes, obviously the financial impact will also be there but I guess I'll focus more on sewing and doing customizations on them and not so much getting them stuff.

As to the MSC problem - I'm now using Vallejo Matt sealant and, provided you apply thin layers, the result is very nice. And - it's not toxic
It doesn't smell as MSC does and it doesn't leave white residue. It's awesome for doing linework on top since it will allow you to correct mistakes if you're quick - also very good for doing smooth and subtle pastelwork.
It will not interact negatively with MSC either so if you want to have a strong basecoat for pastels you can start with MSC, then do all subsequent layers with Vallejo (so you only bother hubby once)

 

I am glad I found this thread. Even though I am not pregnant yet and will be soon (hopefully). I feel guilty for spending my money to my dolls. It's true if you have a hobby you feel relax and I think as long as we can balance in between everything will work alright

 

I think the best thing to do is have a little budget. There is nothing wrong with saving a bit for yourself, and don't worry so much you don't need the extra stress.
Enjoy this moment while you can before you're baby boy is in this world and you're busy trying to keep your baby and your doll safe from one another.

 

If you have more than enough money to get the doll, then buy the doll and put the extra towards your child and build on that.

 

Don't feel guilty one bit for keeping up your hobby while pregnant or caring for a baby! Like others have said, it's really important that you still make time for yourself and your own interests after the baby arrives. Finding the balance between baby stuff and other stuff can take a little while, but you'll find that you'll be automatically putting your son's needs first anyway.

There are a lot of parents active in the hobby so you're not alone My son has been coming along to doll meets since he was a month old.

 

My mother's thing has always been sewing, especially costuming. She kept sewing while she was raising my sister and I, she even made a business of it from home while we were little and found ways to incorporate us into it like making our Halloween costumes while we were children. She kept up her hobby that she loved and made her happy, and we were perfectly happy, too. You don't have to give up what you love, you just need to change it up a bit to make it work around your new lifestyle, just like if you got a different job.

 

congratulations, what a wonderful thing, to be an expectant mother.

remember, right now your life and thoughts are controlled my hormones and everything and nothing will make you cry and worry.
I have two daughters now, and my experience is, that from they were born and until they were a couple of years old, they automatically came first in everything. so i think that now, while you're pregnant, pay out your doll, there will be enough to spend on your baby once he's born and get older AND, this doll will forever remind you of when you were expecting him and it will have that extra place in your heart.

have a wonderful pregnancy

- karina

 

Just wanted to say congrats to all the soon to be moms. I envy you like you'll never believe. (Childless NOT by choice.)

 

You're not being selfish. You need to focus on you as well as the baby. Remember, he would want his loving mommy to be happy.

 

I recently found out I'm pregnant (8 weeks today!), and even though it was a big surprise, my husband and I are thrilled. However, I also have been struggling with guilt about my dolls. We are not in an ideal financial situation-- we've only been married nine months and while we've managed to avoid making bad choices or getting into debt, we have very little savings and basically live paycheck to paycheck. My dolls are my only serious hobby-- my husband and I both enjoy video games as well, but we replay a lot of games and buy them secondhand, and don't rush out to buy the latest consoles. So, my dolls are the priciest non-essentials in the house.

I think my problem is that I'm concerned what having a child will do to my personal interests and pursuits. I almost feel like now is my last chance to get my dream doll before the baby arrives and my hobby gets put on the shelf for perhaps a very long time. I know my husband supports my hobby and would never want me to sell my favorite dolls, but when money is tight, my dolls make me feel a little selfish.

Something that I am definitely looking forward to is being able to share my dolls with my children when they're old enough. That's another thing I think is important to factor in to the value of your dolls. They could become heirlooms!

 

Not spending (or spending less) money on dolls isn't really the hardest "hobby sacrifice" for me; it's not being able to do face-ups. I've been doing all my face-ups for 6 years and recently I've commissioned someone to do a few for me for the first time. It's only temporarily, so I expect to be doing face-ups again eventually. It's one of the things I enjoy in this hobby (even when it frustrates me as well.)

Before getting pregnant I already made a big lifestyle change when my husband and I bought an apartment that can accommodate a family larger than 2. It meant that there is less hobby money for us to spend, so I was already getting used to spending less on myself. What also helps is that I have a large collection of dolls and I don't have a strong desire to buy more dolls (at the moment).
I don't feel guilty for spending money on myself, but at the moment there just is very little money left to spend on myself, so there's automatically little to feel guilty about.

 

Don't let your child get in the way of your hobby or you'll start resenting him for it. You need to enjoy yourself. Plus you know sometimes you can use the doll hobby to your advantage. If you sew then you can use that skill to make clothes for him too ^_^ When I was little I had handmade clothes from my grandma. Also, raising him around dolls could be good for him. As he gets older he can have fun with you.

 

When I was pregnant with my daughter last year I wouldn't say I got out of the hobby but I guess I kind of put it on hold for a bit and stopped spending so much money on dolls. Like other people have said, everything just became about her for a while and I must admit I did feel guilty if I wanted to spend money on myself when there were 'more important' things that money could be spent on so for a while all of my money was being spent on nursery furniture, toys and clothes. But now that Madeleine is 10 months old, I have come back into it with a vengeance In the last few months I have bought about three BJD's as well as other dolls I collect and have three layaways all going at the same time and don't feel guilty. She is safe, clean, fed, has way too many toys that she doesn't even use half of. So I don't think there is anything to feel guilty about by spending money on yourself and enjoying your hobby. It's who you are and what you love, there are much worse things a parent can be spending money and time on than dolls

 

im sure it has been said, but i will say it any ways. i am a stay at home mom of a 10 month old, and am still fairly new to the hobby, but have other interests as well. being a new mom is hard, and it really only becomes more challenging to find time for yourself as your little one will become mobile (i cant even go to the bathroom on my own!). you might need to constantly change where you are with your hobbies, in your relationship, and your place as a mother. we are complex human beings and should never allow ourselves to be co-dependent on another for it is dangerous and we lose ourselves. you can be a wise spender, active in your hobbies, have a strong relationship with family/friends/spouse, and be a mother, not to mention a student, a worker, and all the other things that help make us who you are. when you give one of these up without good reason (guilt or shame are not reasons, they are excuses) you can become a very "flat" person. after delivery, i became ONLY a mom and ONLY a wife, but stopped being an artist and a woman. it got to the point where i was so miserable that i just cried instead of sleep during rare opportunities. i was no longer a whole person and was giving all of myself away and keeping none just for me. i couldn't devote myself properly as anything because i had given it up. even outside of this hobby, don't forget to take long showers, shave your legs and paint your nails (make a friend watch the baby). go out with friends, or spend time alone. "if momma aint happy, aint nobody happy!"