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Being Labeled a "Flake" in the MP

Mar 6, 2012

    1. (This is not from experience, but sometimes i have inquired about something and then backed out)

      The one problem about being a "Buyer" in the marketplace is that you have to beware. However this is another thing you have to be wary about. I find it hard to ask about something someone has (due to lack of info on the product) and in doing just that, you feel that you are required to buy it because....

      "If you inquire and then back out, i will leave feedback saying you are a flake" (or something very similar)

      Now, I dont know about others, but it just makes me want to NOT buy from you, since obviously questions aren't welcome about your products.

      IE: say you find something that is really nice, its affordable and you PM the person and ask about shipping and price, maybe another pic. If your anything like me, you pick something up to buy it and look around more and after a while of holding the item you set it down and leave coz you really decided you dont want it and you really cant fully afford it right now.

      Why does making a logical, responsible decision make you a flake? Why does getting the specs and info on shipping and possible payments for something make you a flake when you decide that this purchase just isnt for you at the moment.

      Now i understand that if you cant afford something, then dont ask for it... but if you think you can what do you do?

      Life happens, and sometimes if you really want something, and you think that you will have the funds but something happens (if you have my bank this happens a LOT) why should you get further repercussions when you PM someone and say "I am sorry but i am gonna have to pull out" if they havent made payments, nothing lost, if they have made payments, if you post that its non refundable then you arent losing out on anything but they are. Why would you pour salt on the wound of someone who may have valid reasoning?

      (this has nothing to do with bad business, ie: sending a check and stopping it after the product was shipped, or likewise)

      What are your thoughts on this? Should sellers be able to post on someone's feedback when they didnt even fully sell to them? This is mainly for queries about harmless interactions between sellers and buyers when the sellers get upset at buyers when they find interest in something but back out.
       
    2. This is against the Feedback rules for the MP:

      You should report such things to the mods.
       
    3. As a seller, I have had several people request lots of extra pictures and details and shipping, etc then decide not to buy. While it IS very frustrating to take an extra 15 pictures and redress a doll to show how a specific outfit looks on a specific body, sometimes on more than one doll, it's really not against the rules to decide not to buy if it's not what you expected. I would never leave flakey feedback due to it, but it is very difficult when you go to a lot of trouble, take 30 minutes out of your day to work with somebody, just to hear "Oh, changed my mind." Or nothing at all. I've had that too. Somebody agreed to buy my doll and pay a certain day, but they never did, and didn't even tell me they didn't want it. I ended up having to price drop and had turned down a few interested buyers while holding the doll. It DOES hurt sellers sometimes.

      But I'm talking about saying you'll buy or putting it on hold, then changing your mind, not simply asking about shipping. I have turned things down due to shipping/fees before. Sorry, but I'm not going to pay $8 shipping + 4% fees on a $5 item. It IS important to know what shipping will before committing to buy, whether that be a flat rate posted on the thread or PMing to get an estimate. If shipping seems higher than what it should be or fees are high, I'm not going to buy. This is why it's important to be clear that you just want a shipping quote and are in no way committing to buy yet.
       
    4. Ostrich: Good to know about that, I am not a nark but if it happens to me and i get threatened with it or if someone has they now know that if they honestly have a valid reason in backing out they dont deserve it.

      CloakedSchemer: I agree with you on that, if you have to put out a ton of effort for someone then i can see where you come from. But for the people who just want a quick link to some pictures already taken and they back out. Its all really situational. And i agree with you, for a small item to be shipped a few states it shouldnt cost but a few dollars if that... which if its more then I am gonna back out as well. I just am overly courteous and feel obligated sometimes...
       
    5. Sometimes i have seen some dolls of clothes or other type of items in the marketplace and i usually ask the seller about the shipping, conditions, etc...always i left clear that i asking about information and nor making a reservation for the item....and as soon as i can i tell the seller my definitive answer so she/he don´t lost the opportunity of a sale. I don´t think this can be flacky.....

      I am also a seller and even sometimes is really frustrating to make more pictures or to look prizes for international shipments, i think is part of the process in the marketplace.

      I think if a buyer states very clear things can be made right. It´s like Cloaked said sometimes when you know about the shipping costs or payapl fees the item´s prize increase very much and can be not beaffodable for everyone.
       
    6. If they want photos hopefully its to see if it suits their doll and decide if they want to buy, its not a guarantee they will buy, its just a request for more info to help in their decision and many times it results in a sale but sometimes it does not and that is a normal part of selling (happens to me all the time). Its unreasonable to leave bad feedback or threaten bad feedback for something like that.

      Though I'm glad there is a way to leave feedback for flakes now. A couple years ago a certain member asked myself and many other sellers to hold items after giving a sob story how she wouldn't be able to pay for a couple weeks but she would pay then. She never came through, it left sellers missing a popular buying season where they could have sold items fast. That is the type of member flake feedback is for.
       
    7. What about a person that asks about item and after replying with answers they say they will take it and ask for your paypal addy, but then never reply back or send funds?
       
    8. If someone had a line in their ad like that, I would avoid buying from them.

      That said, if I spend a week in communication with a buyer, getting several shipping quotes and taking pictures, and they ask me to hold the doll, and then they disappear, I would regard them as a flake and would not sell that doll or any other to them in the future. There is one person I've interacted with that I've done that with. It's just a waste of my time to deal further with that person. I wouldn't leave feedback, though.
       
    9. Gloria what you described sounds flakey to me.
       
    10. I agree that that sounds flakey. It may be a good question for the ask the moderator forum
       
    11. I can agree that there are a lot of instances that "flake" kinda is deserved, but like things going on in politics, there are so many things that make it situational. And who is to say what the line is between someone who is and isnt?

      What do you think us buyers (or browsers) should do to make you feel better about turning down something? I try to wish the seller luck in selling the doll or item, or if i want something but dont think i will be able to afford it I try to tell them if they get a deal that works out better then to go with the other person.

      As a seller is there something you think its better to ask questions regarding a product in the thread instead of PMing? That PM's should be for people only interested in seriously buying?
       
    12. Gloria that sounds like flackey feedback for me too!
       
    13. This is the corrected list (I think Ostrich's list didn't format correctly)
       
    14. That quote up in Ostrich's post from the mods' thread about flakey feedback needs to be fixed. I just checked it and flakey feedback CAN be left for everything up to the line you bolded. Everything above that IS flakey dealing.

      CathM beat me to it!
       
    15. I think if you firmly, politely say that you are no longer interested in buying a mature adult will understand and leave you alone. Not everything has to be sugarcoated, and transactions shouldn't be.

      I don't think PMing is an issue. I think it really is a matter of people having their intentions clear from the beginning. Nowadays, I always tell people ASAP when I inquire more about items that I am considering their item, for instance. I flaked before many years on a transaction to buy eyes back when I was fifteen, and I am very sorry to the seller (I do not remember who it was) who never heard back from me after I committed to buy some Artistique eyes. Flakiness happens and is a very frustrating situation for sellers, so I'm very happy that feedback can be left over it now.

      Flakiness comes up quite a bit as a face-up artist, since wait-lists can get so long that people change their mind after waiting for a few months. It's really frustrating for me, because a lot of times I won't be told until it's their turn on the wait-list. If they had told me earlier, I could have bumped them off the list and bumped someone forward, which means someone who may have another month to wait to get their doll painted will be able to get their doll painted earlier and I can make my wait-list shorter. :(
       
    16. Fixed the list. Sorry about that, guys! The copy/paste didn't work correctly. Regardless it's against the MP rules. If it happens to you you need to report it to the mods.
       
    17. The line is fairly simple. Either there is an agreement to buy or not. If there is no agreement to buy then if they don't buy they are not a flake.

      Asking for questions or additional photos is not an agreement to buy.
      Saying I will take it, or agreeing to a layaway arrangement is an agreement to buy.

      "I will take it" then doesn't pay = flake

      "how much is s/h" gets quote, too high doesn't buy= not a flake
      "can I get additional pics" gets pics and not what they wanted=not a flake
      "are they high dome or low" ends up not what they wanted =not a flake

      As far as making a seller feel better, we don't usually expect that but it always nice for buyer to thank a seller for the additional info or pictures even if they don't end up buying after your questions are answered. It shows you appreciate the sellers extra effort.

      Like if a doll is damaged I might ask the seller for pics to show the severity and location.
      The send pics, but the location and severity is too much for me to be able to fix. I might say something like:

      "Thank you for the additional photos, unfortunately the severity of the damage is more than I can take on so I will have to pass."
       
    18. CathyM posted the correct list of the rules. (I think the other might have copied weird or something? idk)

      As a seller AND buyer, I would say simply asking for more info is good, committing to buy then changing your mind is bad. If you aren't sure you want something, don't commit to buy. If you aren't sure you can afford it, don't say you'll buy it. When I'm interested in something, my first PM tends to be "I'm interested in ___________. Is it still available? How much would the total be with shipping to zip code _______?" then, if I like the total price or pix, I always ALWAYS respond! either "That sounds great! Where should I send payment?" or "I'm sorry, I'm going to have to pass on it, good luck with your sales!" This way you are NOT committing to buy on the first PM, simply asking questions. To be sure, you could even add in "I'd like to know so that I may make the best decision for my needs." On the second PM, I am clearly telling them yes or no, no guessing about it.

      As a seller, I would rather a potential buyer ask the right questions and know what they are agreeing to buy than leave bad feedback saying it's not what they thought or that they felt pressured to buy.
       
    19. Honestly, i have been terrified of getting a flakey feedback.. i've put dolls on lay-a-way with every intention to buy them.. only to have a medical, or other emergency come up. It terrifies me to get a "flakey" feedback when i have to take my 8 month old daughter to the dr, and it costs 80 bucks a visit... Or have the power threatened to be shut off because they company made a error.. that has happened to. I've put my bank account in the red three times... because i am afraid the "flakey" feedback... because to me, even once, means that i can't buy from people again... I wish there was a provision, where if the person HAS to back out, because of.. a issue like a medical cost or some such.. there could be another word besides" flakey" Like
      " Emergancy-nonpayment."
      That would show a one time thing.. or a special siituation.. instead of flakey. that sounds like they just went "meh..."

      ( i have been able to pay off the dolls in question... but.. it's actually, frightening for me, to get that "flakey" feed back... If i ever got one, it would just break my heart.)
       
    20. Wait I don't get it, can you leave flakey feedback for someone who cancels a hold after more than one week or not? Because the same sentence appears in both lists, which is very confusing to me :?